This is just a little songfic about Lucius trying to persuade Voldemort not to kill him because of the diary and because Lucius did not try and find his master. General silliness in the style of 'I Will Survive'. To get the full effect, imagine to figures in black in a deserted disco hall with a glitter ball shining on them. Hey, it's up to you whether they dance or not!

Lucius:

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' what you were gonna do to me cos I didn't return to your side
Yeah I spent so many nights thinking where you had gone
But you grew strong
And then you strutted back along -

And so you're back from Albania I just walked in to find you here, with that creepy punishing look upon your face
I should have kept your diary safe
I should have killed that Potter boy
If I had known for just one second you'd be back kill me (please don't)

Voldemort:


You crazy minion, walk out the door
Just turn around now
'coz you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
Did you think i'd crumble?
Did you think i'd lay down and die?
Oh no not I, I will survive
For as long as I know how to be evilly immortal, I know i'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
And i've got loads of death to give
I'll survive
I will survive
Hey hey
(Voldemort now point wand at Lucius' heart)

(i, i will survive)
Hey hey
(i, i will survive)
Every day
(i, i will survive)
Oh yeah

Lucius:

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Just trying hard to cover up the fact that I was on your books
And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high
And now you see me, full of determination
I'm not a chained up little person who went to Azkaban for you
And so I thought you could be glad 'cos I was still around, still faithful and free


Voldemort:


Suppose your right, come back through the door
Just turn around now
And I'll hug you once more
Weren't you the one who always served me well?
Did you think i'd forget?
Did you think I'd kill you right here?
Oh no not I, you will survive
Oh as long as I am high on drugs, I know you'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
And I've got a sexy mission to give you
I'll survive
And you'll survive
Hey hey