A/N: Okay, just a quick oneshot i wrote (: Please Read&Review 'cause it keeps me going (: .
Diclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, Square Enix does blah blah blah...
Vincent bought a phone today.
Oh god.
Better warn people.
Vincent Valentine is on the loose with a phone!
Okay, so he's sat on the sofa, with the box on his knee.
Glaring at it.
Jeez, can't he open a box?
Oh wait. He's opening it.
He looks so bewildered.
Just staring, straight through the contents.
He's picked up the phone now.
And he's examining it.
He tries to flip it up but fails.
Then he realises he tried to flip the wrong end.
Now he's attempting to actually turn it on.
He casually presses the key.
But then tries not to look horrified when nothing happens.
He hasn't yet realised you need to put the battery in.
I would help him.
But this is quite fun.
Vincent then decides to pick up the manual.
The Sim Card falls out.
Vincent looks from me to the sim card.
"You want me to help you?" I sigh.
Vincent nods.
Jeez, it's only a phone.
So this man can work a gun.
But he can't put a mobile phone together.
I pick up the phone.
I snatch the Sim Card of Vinnie.
I take the battery from the box.
Within ten seconds, the phone is assembled.
Sheesh.
I turn on the phone and hand it back.
Vincent sits there now trying to work his phone.
I pick up the box as if I'm looking at the phone.
I pull out my own phone.
I type in Vincent's number.
Write new: Text Message.
'How are you today?'
Send.
Beep Beep, Beep Beep.
Now the look on Vincent's face is priceless.
He sits there pressing random buttons until my phone lights up.
I love having silent mode.
The text reads:
'v4m2ent'.
He can't even spell his own name.
Write new: Picture message.
'Don't you scrub up well'
Attach.
Picture.
'Vince in the shower'
I love being able to climb through air vents.
Send.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Looks like he worked out how to change the text alert.
Vincent looks paranoid.
He's stood up.
He walks outside.
Ha Ha, bless him
I can just see out of the window Vincent talking to Cloud.
Please don't let on spiky.
Vincent wanders off.
My phone lights up.
It's a picture message.
Ha Ha Ha!
Vincent on Cloud's bike!
That's one for Myspace…
Write new: Text message.
'I LOVE YOU!'
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
Send.
There's a distant noise in the background.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..
Vincent runs in.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…
Looking yet again confused.
He throws the phone on the floor.
He' pulled out his gun.
EEEeep.
Phone Dead…
Like it? Please Review muchly?
- Roxie Starcutter