Disclaimers: I do not own them. I only Rent them. They belong to the late great Jonathan Larson!
A/N: I know that this is going to be odd and not in character but that is what I was going for.
Confessions of a Musician
I really don't know what made me do it. I don't…that is a lie. I do. Mimi. I lover her so much but Benny was just too much. I did not do it on purpose…that is the truth. I am not that shallow. Maureen had just broken up with Joanne and Mimi and I had just gotten back together. Angel was getting sicker and the fights between Mark, Collins and me have gotten even worst. I hate fighting. Especially with them.
It was the night that Angel died, but before any of us knew it. Mimi was at work and I was alone. Maureen came over all worked up and up-set. She and Joanne had just had the biggest fight this year and she was hurt. I actually felt bad for her. I know how much she and Joanne love each other. I also know how it is to have an on and off relationship, so I knew what she was going through. I took her out for a few drinks and then we came home to talk about what happened. But we did not. We just sat there in silence. That was until Maureen turned around and kissed me. When she was done she sat back next to me and we were quiet for a moment. Watching the door, waiting. For what? How the hell do I know. But then I did the indescribable. I turned to her and kissed her back. I don't know what had made me do it. But all I remember was that I felt my self turning, pulling her toward me and planting my lips on hers.
I could not control my self. I felt like a puppet. My puppet hands were the ones that unhooked her bra, that carried her to my room, that touched the skin that I would have never, in a million years, even thought about touching. Then again there I was on top of her. I had tried that whole time to stop but my body told me other wise.
There I was laying on top of her on my bed. The same bed that I have shared with Mimi countless nights. But no, not this night. Tonight I was with Maureen. I could hear her heart beat in my ear. I could feel the soft, warm breath on the back of my neck. Her hands, fingers, running through my hair. That was the only time in my life that I knew that the world would not come crashing down.
After several quiet moments, we got up and did what we had to do. Never talking about it. Later that night or morning she and Joanne got back together and all was well. Or at least we hoped. That day we had the biggest fight that we have ever had in our entire relationship. In the end Mimi went back to Benny and the drugs. That night was by far the worst night in my life. While I was getting my brains fucked out by someone who was forbidden, one of my best friends was watching another friend and lover die. At this moment he is alone with who he called his Angel. Meanwhile here we are fighting. Maureen, Joanne, Mimi, and me.
Now that I am in front of Marks camera, telling my soul, something that I have never told anyone in my life. Now the whole world knows.
The Confessions of a Musician