Sad Impusles

You don't have to read Perks of Being Immortal to understand this, but reading it helps. I have stuff mentioned here that would confuse you, but you can go ahead and ignore that too.

Guys, I know I promised this sometime last week, but bad news hit me hard and I was rather distracted. Suffice to say, my work suffered for it. I have pulled myself out of my funk now and am proud to announce that this one will have a follow up. It's called "Bratty Problems".

It was inspired when my friend read over my shoulder the last chapter of Perks of Being Immortal and she asked me to tell a day of Tessa being the proverbial handkerchief of the next generation children. The title may change, of course.

Please read, review and have fun.

It was Christmas and there was a party. And since they were Nephilim, there was a lot of old carols involved, along with one of the more modern, remixed carols that had the older ones wrinkling their noses at.

Tessa looked brilliant and happy as she twirled with an equally happy Jem on the dance floor. Magnus teased a blushing Alec and both of them spent most of the party seated. While Alec was a Shadowhunter and innately graceful, dancing made all his grace flee in terror. Magnus would have risked ruining his shoes for it but he needed to get a couple more drinks in Alec before he would ever agree.

The children were making a lot of noise and they reveled in it, being one of the few times of the year that being noisy was actually a requirement.

Jace was greeting other guests and Clary was keeping a discreet eye on the children while having small talk with the equally watchful mothers.

"Everything's great, isn't it?" Alec said happily. "No disasters, not much sibling quarrel and certainly no threats of international magnitude."

Magnus was appalled. "Alec! Don't jinx it! Don't say anything of that sort, alright? Disaster normally strikes after someone says that. It's a statistically proven fact."

As though to prove his point, Isabelle and Simon arrived, and since both of them had broken up a couple of years before, they had mutually agreed not to see each other for the rest of their natural and unnatural lives (in Simon's case, that is). This was the first time they had been in the same room with each other in five years and it showed in they way they greeted each other.

"By the Angel, that must be awkward," Alec breathed. "Do you think we should help Jace diffuse a possible argument?"

"Please don't," Magnus smiled. "This is entertaining, and anyway, Tessa is here."

There was an unspoken agreement among the Nephilim that Tessa was scary…in that mother bear-kind of way.

In fact, nobody had a real argument with Tessa around, which kind of brought down the number of brawls in a party, and which Magnus found slightly depressing. Brawls were a kind of a must in parties, in his opinion. They were unpaid, highly dramatic entertainment.

The Tessa factor worked and Isabelle and Simon went in separate parts of the room.

Speaking of Tessa…

Something niggled at the back of his mind, something about Tessa.

"Magnus, did Clary invite any faeries? There seem to be sparkles in the ceiling," Alec murmured.

Ooh! Alec was drunk enough. Magnus smiled and dragged his boyfriend for some wild dancing. A wink in Tessa's direction had her snapping her fingers, using the magic she received from him years ago to add a glittering disco ball and to change the music to a throbbing, low beat. The older ones sighed and dragged their partners off the dance floor. The teenagers whooped and swarmed the dance floor like a host of locusts.

Magnus forgot about whatever it was he was about to remember about Tessa and wouldn't remember it until the next party, which was New Year's Eve.

The New Year's Eve party was a somewhat tamer event than the Christmas party, but it still had its wild moments. What was New Year without alcohol anyway?

There were no sharp, pointy weapons and no special runes on their person. The only ones Magnus could see were placed on the doors and windows, to ward off the unwelcome guests while the Nephilim were inebriated. Just slightly, mind you. There were still children after all.

Magnus never enjoyed getting drunk after losing his magic. He enjoyed the process of drinking shot after shot, but the purging was unpleasant, especially when he found out how much his magic actually did to help him not have hangovers.

So there he was, one of the few guests left of the party that was sober (and wasn't that a sad thought! At a New Year's Party too!), and since Alec had ditched him to dance with Isabelle, he could spend most of his time watching. It was one of his favorite hobbies.

He could see Jace and Clary have a hushed conversation, with Clary gesturing occasionally to one of the children. He knew what that was about, as did everyone. Charissa had invited her werewolf to the party and her parents didn't know what to do with her obsession with the fellow. It could be rightly called an obsession. Magnus knew the signs. She had the Herondale blood after all, the one that made them fall in love only once.

Jem was laughing at something one of his children had said. He patted the child's curls and gave him some of his own wine. Oh! The inevitable question a child asks their parent on how wine tastes like. William's nose had wrinkled and Magnus knew that the child hadn't liked the sharp taste of it.

And there was Tessa.

A feeling of de ja vu struck him as he watched her play with the children. He had felt that sense of indifference from her before during the Christmas Party, but he had been distracted then. Now, with Alec too busy having a drunken jig with Isabelle, Magnus could focus on Tessa and not have anybody derail his attention.

And then there it was, just a small gesture. It wasn't something anybody could notice but Magnus wasn't just anybody. He had been studying humans for a long time and had judged his reactions to their actions. He knew what he saw and knew that there was a veil in Tessa's reactions to other people. It became even clearer when Simon appeared briefly to talk to her, trying not to catch Isabelle's attention to prevent more awkwardness.

The realization struck Magnus like a punch to the stomach, making him short of breath and slightly pissed off.

"I can't believe it," he whispered. "I thought I knew her so well but I actually gave my magic to an Immortal bigot."

It wasn't just the way she treated everyone mortal but Magnus could almost see the invisible glass wall between her and the rest of the people. As though she couldn't be bothered with them.

Magnus tossed back his drink irritably, relishing the burn of the whiskey going down his throat.

"Magnus? Enjoying yourself?" Alec's voice broke into his angry brooding.

Alec was like a breath of fresh air into his angry state.

"I'm fine," he answered. Both of them knew he wasn't but it was through experience that Alec didn't mention it. Magnus needed to brood his thoughts out and then he would be fine.

The brooding, however, took a week and he skipped out on Jamie Herondale's birthday.

Tessa, of course, noticed and went after Magnus despite Alec's warnings.

"You're brooding," she said the moment she saw him. "It's not healthy. If you don't stop it, you'll soon hatch eggs."

Magnus snorted despite himself. "I'm not brooding. I'm just thinking things through."

"Right…," she said, clearly disbelieving. "So any 'thinking' I can help with?"

Magnus scowled. "I am thinking about you."

Tessa looked astonished. "Whatever for?"

"Nothing, I said. I still have to think about things."

She cocked her head to the side like a curious bird. "Maybe you're the reason why I was assaulted with colds earlier this week*."

"By the Angel, Tessa! Leave me alone!" Magnus finally snapped.

"Not until you tell me what I did that made you brood," she said calmly.

"Everything! You look at everyone like they are little gnats that don't matter. Have you always acted like that because you are immortal?" Magnus sighed, feeling slightly unburdened after his outburst.

Tessa looked pale but she had that air about her that made children behave in her presence without her ever saying a word of discipline.

"Magnus Bane, you crazy…" she spluttered off. She was apparently too irritated with him to be coherent.

Tessa walked in front of him and glared. It was a very good glare too.

"I asked you almost a century ago how you bore it, the death's of the people you cared about and you told me that you never did cope, that it hurt every time. Well, I've found a way all these years. I have had to, with the number of children I've had to watch over in my entire existence," she cut off, looking even more irritated. "I cant give my whole heart to them, Magnus. I'd probably have taken away my life by the fifth death. So I give them the small pieces of my heart I can afford to give."

Then she pushed him down his chair. "But you crazy man! Why did you not ask me? Poor Jamie cried when you weren't there!"

Tessa was angrier with him for missing Jamie's birthday than for suspecting her of Immortal bigotry. That probably spoke more about her character than any pretty speech could.

Magnus tried to suppress his smile as his world was righted while Tessa ranted in front of him, calling him all kinds of crazy.

*based on an old Chinese saying, "If you sneeze once, someone is missing you. If you sneeze twice, someone is talking ill of you. If you sneeze thrice, someone is talking good of you." I think that's the gist of it. I'm not exactly sure. I heard this through a joke, with someone asking what the fourth sneeze would mean and the Chinese transfer student saying that the fourth sneeze meant a cold.

As I said before, this one will have a follow up called "Bratty Problems" (Title may change without any prior notice). But these one-shots that are based on the Immortal-verse don't have a logical arrangement. They are inspired by random daily experiences. But I will try and post a sort of sequence somewhere before it gets too confusing.

Thanks, and please review.

Yours truly,

Lady Hallen