Severus audibly groaned. It was the welcome feast and none other than Miss, or Professor, Hermione Granger was walking confidently through the rows of tables to cheers and applause from all of the staff and students. Obviously she would be loved. Hero of the Great War and a third of the Golden Trio, he could already see the sixth year Gryffindor boys nudging each other and winking. Severus narrowed his eyes as Granger shot a beaming smile his way.

She gave McGonagall a quick wave before taking her seat to the right of the Headmistress. It was going to be a long year.

.

"Professor I must ask why on earth you feel the need to unfairly deduct points from Gryffindor at every opportunity!" Hermione snapped at him, standing next to a smirking first year.

"Well, Miss Granger, Mr Collins needs to learn to respect staff members and I feel-"

"What did he do this time? Smile at you?" She glowered at him. "And it's Professor Granger." She gave him an irritatingly smug smirk.

"No, but-"

"I see no need to deduct points here. Ten points back, Mr Collins, go off to your lesson now."

Infuriated, Severus stepped into his fellow professor's space, glaring down at her. She glared right back, challengingly.

"Continue trying to stare me down all day if you want, Severus, but I have a lesson to teach. Please refrain from trying to intimidate me and following me around like a bad smell."

Hermione stomped off, her low heels clacking authoritatively on the stone floor.

Severus swept away, ready for an opportunity to get her back. She undermined him at every moment. After her first unsuccessful attempts to befriend him she had decided to make his life a misery. And she was succeeding. The famous new Transfiguration Professor was the talk of the school. Her arguments with the Potions Master were legendary.

.

Hermione swelled with pride as she received the title of Head of Gryffindor the following year. She had worked so hard for it and now everything had paid off. She beamed at her students, who were whooping and cheering for their new Head of House. McGonagall gave her a friendly smile and embraced her.

"Thank you so much, Minerva, it means a lot." Hermione wiped a little tear from the corner of her eye.

Severus watched, and laughed nastily.

"Don't you think congratulations are in order, Severus? She has just beaten your record of becoming the youngest ever Head of House." Minerva said, fixing him with a beady stare.

"Congratulations, Miss Granger, I honestly thought I would never see the day." He said, smirking at her.

Hermione's eyes flashed angrily. Severus saw her little hands curl into dangerous fists as she stepped up to him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Really you two, I would have thought by now you would have gotten over your childish animosity." McGonagall said with pursed lips. "Severus, apologise, that was completely unnecessary. Hermione, put your wand away. This is ridiculous!"

"Headmistress, I will withdraw my wand when Professor Snape does the same." Hermione hissed quietly.

The students had gone quiet, nervously awaiting the outcome.

"Sit down both of you and stop being so childish!" McGonagall cried, flinging her arms in the air and disarming both of them with a neat flick of her wand. "I'll return your wands when you learn to be civil!"

Severus gave Hermione a withering look and sat down. She glared at him and took her seat next to him.

Suddenly both of them had fallen from their chairs, Hermione with a small squeal and Severus with a shout of "Bloody hell!"

Unfortunately, they had landed straight on top of each other in an untidy heap, Severus's enormous robes tangled up around them. Hermione had landed on top of him, arm splayed across his chest and head in his armpit. Severus's body stiffened.

"Please remove yourself from me this instant, Granger." He hissed, dangerously.

Hermione let out a little squeak as she realised her other hand was pressing into his groin.

"Oh shit." She whispered, and tried to get up and retain her dignity at the same time. She failed miserably by falling back on top of him after her foot was tangled in his robes. Her hands broke her fall, however now her breasts were hovering right over his long nose. He looked extremely displeased.

"Must you wear such idiot robes?" She cried desperately, "You only wear them to intimidate students! They are hardly practical!"

Severus groaned. Her ample cleavage was right in front of him, and her hair was all over the bloody place. He felt himself becoming aroused.

"Get away from me. Now." He hissed, grabbing her tiny waist and shoving her off him.

She sat up, brushing her unruly hair out of her eyes. She looked over at him smoothing down his robes.

"I hardly think that was a display worthy of a new Head of House was it, Miss Granger?" He said snidely.

She scowled and picked herself up, smoothing down her skirt and pulling her robes around her, pouting.

They looked around at the students, who had dissolved into fits of giggles. Minerva was holding her own wand and smirking.

"You!" They cried at her. Severus looked ready to lunge at the Headmistress.

"Now, now, I told you two, didn't I?" She said smugly returning to her seat in the middle of the table. "Congratulations again, Hermione, well deserved. I hope this new responsibility will make you realise how important it is to show a united front. But of course you already know…"

Hermione huffed and went back to her dinner, shooting angry looks at Severus who pointedly ignored her.

.

Hermione lay in bed, unable to sleep. Thoughts of the horrendous Potions Master kept running through her head. Sure, he was mean and unfair and definitely on the dramatic side, but while sprawled on top of him she had discovered a very lean physique. And he certainly had been blessed in the lower regions.

She shook her head and turned over. This was silly. He was her former Professor and now a colleague. Not to mention and nasty piece of work. She turned on the light and picked up her book again, settling into reading Further Advanced Arithmantic Equations and Symbols.

.

Sleep did not come to Severus that night. He couldn't think of anything other than Hermione's perfect chest. She had certainly grown up. It didn't matter that it was Miss Granger, he kept telling himself; any man would appreciate breasts like hers.

It obviously didn't help that he hadn't had another warm body in his bed since before the war. He had thought that becoming a war hero would have had women flocking to his dungeon. His sour demeanor had apparently deterred them.

An image of the new Head of Gryffindor in emerald green lingerie floated into his sleepless mind and he groaned as the vision smirked annoyingly at him and shook her mane of hair around creamy shoulders. It wasn't that bad really was it, her hair? He pinched himself. This was Hermione Granger, no human being had hair that bad.

Severus groaned, kicked off the covers and took a very icy shower.