The Pounding in My Head
2006:
"Well I'm gonna go grab us some pizza and beers, if I leave you two crazy kids alone for an hour is everything gonna be okay?" Dean said.
"Piss off Deuce, I ain't a kid, and Sam here doesn't know how to do anything fun so don't worry about that." Caleb replied. Dean looked over at Sam expecting a snarky comment, but when he didn't get one he frowned.
"You okay Sammy?" Sam didn't look up from the book he was reading.
"I'm fine Dean, go get the damn food."
"Grouch." Dean said, and then closed the door behind him.
Sam could feel the pain behind his eyelids and he was willing it to go away. He hated this, not only were the visions getting worse, the pain after was also getting steadily stronger. He put the book he was currently reading (something about demons, he wasn't even really sure anymore) down in front of him and fought back the nausea.
"You sure you're okay kid?" Caleb said from the kitchen table. Sam shrugged.
"Besides feeling like I got kicked in the head, and the fact I feel like I have the worst case of sea sickness in a millennia, I am peachy."
"Yeah well, that happens sometimes." Sam glared out from under his hair.
"It doesn't happen to you…"
"The nausea? Not so much anymore, but the headaches still suck. I have had a lot more practice then you Runt."
"Yeah well, it wasn't hidden from you all your life. It isn't my fault this shit didn't start till now."
"Are you sure about that Sam?" Sam looked at his friend hard.
"Sure about what?" Caleb pushed his research away from him and crossed his arms.
"C'mon kid, think, you know somewhere in your head this started happening long before then." Sam swallowed and thought for a second.
"You mean… are you talking about at the farm when I was sixteen?"
"Yeah Runt, that is exactly what I am talking about."
July 1999:
Sam and Dean were at the farm for the first time in a few months. Their dad was on a hunt with Bobby and while he would usually take Dean along, he asked his oldest to stay behind and figure out what was going on with Sam. Sam had been angry and argumentative since he had hit puberty, but something was changing and it was bothering the two older Winchesters. Now he was quiet and sullen most of the time, and he would disappear for hours at a time. Dean figured that things would be better at the farm, because it was the only home to boys had ever known. Sam was going to the local high school this year, because the Winchesters had originally been renting an apartment in New Haven. Now instead of disappearing for hours somewhere in the city, he would disappear for hours into the woods of the farm. At least he was safe out there, but it didn't really make Dean feel any better. Dean was sitting down by the pond when he saw a familiar face watching him from the porch of the house; he smirked and brushed his pants off going to greet his friend.
"You know Damien, it is kinda creepy when you watch me."
"Well, I wasn't about to come over and get you, I hate that pond." Caleb replied. He hated water, Dean loved it, and it was one of the few things the two disagreed on. "Where's the walking ball of hormones you call a brother? I've missed the little guy."
"How loose is your definition of 'little' Damien? He is basically a tree. And I have no idea where he is." Caleb quirked his eyebrow in amusement.
"You let him out of your sight? That's a first." Dean scowled.
"Hey, he stays by himself all the time. He is sixteen for Christ sakes. Its just… he is acting strange."
"Strange how? "
"He has been disappearing for hours on end, and he looks like crap, and he won't talk to me…"
"Did you ever think he is just being sixteen? I mean you weren't exactly a joy to be around at that age either."
"Just wait till you see him, you will know what I mean. He always comes back for dinner. Jim would kill him if he wasn't back in time." Caleb smirked.
"Yeah, remember when we were late for Thanksgiving that one year? Not only did we have to do all the dishes and clean the house, your Dad had us running extra drills for a month." Dean and Caleb went upstairs and dumped his stuff on the bed; Caleb had nothing to do for Tri-Corp right now, so why not spend some time with Sam and Dean. He hadn't really been around much lately, every once in awhile him and Dean would go out for a few beers, when the fighting in the Winchester household became too much. That was becoming a near constant problem; John and Sam were always at each other's throats. Dean and Caleb were lounging around in the living room when Sam strolled through the front door, eyes on the floor.
"Hey, Sammy." Caleb said. Sam jumped at the voice.
"Hi." Sam replied and then walked slowly up the stairs. Caleb frowned.
"You're right, he does look like shit." The kid, looked tense and there were dark circles around his eyes from lack of sleep, and in all his life, Sam had never been so short with Caleb. Even when he was pissed off, short was never Sam's style; he got mad, loud, sarcastic, but never quiet. Quiet wasn't his style. Being psychic, Caleb could feel the panic and unease dripping off the teenager, but he couldn't get a read on what Sam was thinking. Sam had blocked him out, and it wasn't that Caleb didn't know Sam could do that, he knew all kinds of things about Sam that Dean and Sam didn't know, it was that Sam was trying to block him out, he had never tried to do that before. They didn't see Sam again until dinner and even then the youngest Winchester said very little, and kept his eyes downcast. Sam was moving his food around on his plate, definitely not eating as much as he should be and Dean was watching him with a frown.
"Do you not like the spaghetti Samuel?" Pastor Jim asked. Sam looked in his direction and shrugged.
"It's great Jim, I'm just not very hungry tonight." Sam answered quietly. "May I be excused?"
"Of course, put your plate on the counter, I will give some of that to Scout, I am sure she won't mind." Sam nodded, and went upstairs.
"I swear the kid hasn't eaten a proper meal in like four days." Dean said.
"I am sure it is just a little teenaged angst, he will be okay." Caleb tried to give his friend reassurance, but he was worried.
"I hope so, I never thought I would miss him being his typically bitchy self." Dean smirked sadly. Jim was watching them carefully, but had added nothing.
"Dean, can I get you to do me a favour?" Jim said suddenly.
"Sure Jim, what's up?"
"The church van seems to be having some trouble starting up, do you think you could go take a look at it tonight? I was gonna get your Dad to do it, but you are definitely the next best thing."
"Yeah, sure I will take a look at it, but please, next best thing? Dad has gotten rusty and you know it." Jim laughed and Dean dropped his dishes in the sink, before going out back. Caleb stood up and cleaned the rest of the dishes of the table.
"I'll wash these up." Caleb said. It was funny how even though he was an adult, being at the farm instantly made him feel like a kid, Jim was always kind to them, yet Caleb still didn't want to seem disrespectful.
"Actually Caleb, I want you to talk to Samuel."
"Uhhhh… why?" Caleb hated talking, and Sam wore his heart on his sleeve, so any conversations he had with the kid was destined to become a giant chick flick moment.
"Look he obviously isn't talking to Dean or his Dad about whatever is wrong with him, and I just want to make sure he is okay."
"Why don't you talk to him?"
"Well if it is what I think it is, you are the best person for him to talk to." Caleb stopped and put the plate he was holding down in this sink and turned towards Jim.
"Are we talking about… psychic problems?"
"Yes, I let John take the reigns on that, and he chose not to let Sam know of the possibility he would develop psychic abilities. The problem with that, is now we have no way of knowing if the abilities are presenting themselves, and Sam will not know what is happening if it does. Just talk to him, see if you can get a read on him." Caleb sighed.
"His emotions felt out of wack earlier, but I couldn't read him, it was like he was blocking me out."
"Okay, do what you can, without telling him about the psychic abilities for now, and do not tell Dean. I do not want him to worry about it until we know what is going on." Caleb nodded, he didn't like keeping things from the Winchesters, but he knew it would put Dean into a panic, and he didn't want that either.
"I'll do what I can, but I can't promise you anything, Sammy doesn't really talk to me anymore, hasn't since he was a kid."
"Jut do what you can Caleb." Caleb went upstairs and paused outside the door of Sam and Dean's room. Caleb's room was next door, he figured Dean would have taken over that room by now, but he never did. He assumed after sharing a room most of their lives, the brothers had just grown accustomed to it, not that Caleb minded, it felt good that the farm still felt like home. Caleb knocked hesitantly on the door, and when there was no answer Caleb gently pushed the door open hoping he wasn't gonna open the door to seeing Sam getting rid of any teenage angst with his right hand and a dirty magazine. All he saw was Sam lying on his side on the bed, facing away from Caleb. At sixteen, Sam may have been a giant, but he was managing to make himself look so small.
"Sammy, you awake." Sam jumped again at the voice, and turned over a little bit.
"Caleb?" Sam whispered. "What are you doing?" Sam was squinting at the older man.
"Nothing, was just coming to check on you," Sam huffed.
"Who forced you to do that? Dean or Jim?" Perceptive little shit Sam was. Caleb cracked a grin.
"Jim asked me to." Sam nodded and sat up rubbing a hand over his eyes. "But I kinda wanted to check on you anyway, no offence kid but you look like crap, and Dean says you haven't been acting like yourself." Sam glared at Caleb then stood up, walking over to the dresser and grabbing a shirt to throw on.
"M'fine."
"Really cause I don't think I have ever heard you be so quiet in all your life. Shouldn't you be like, debating with your Dad and Dean about hunts, or doing your homework or something?"
"So Dean doesn't like that I am not being argumentative?" Sam huffed. "Two months ago that is all he wanted from me. Nothing I do can ever be fucking right can it?" Sam brought a hand to his head and swayed slightly, Caleb frowned and reached out to steady him.
"Are you okay Sam." Sam was staring at the wall and didn't seem to be aware of what was going on. "Sammy!" Sam jumped and stared at Caleb.
"Caleb something's wrong." Sam groaned and brought both hands to his head, his knees buckled and if Caleb hadn't have been holding him up, he would have hit the floor. Caleb felt the younger mans fear, and suddenly felt a pain in his own head. He was connecting with Sam, and mental pictures began to flip through his head. He saw Bobby and John, and felt absolute terror.
"JIM!" Caleb yelled, he heard running and Jim and Dean appeared in the doorway. Dean looked horrified, and dropped to his knees beside his brother pulling him into his lap.
"Sammy! Can you hear me?" Dean yelled. Sam's head turned towards his brother's chest and his breathing slowed. Caleb looked up at Jim, and nodded his head, trying to communicate that their suspicions were correct; Sam's abilities were starting to develop. Jim seemed to get the message. Sam took a sharp intake of breath, and his eyes opened up a tiny bit.
"Dean?" Sam said quietly and grabbed onto his brothers shirt.
"I'm right here Sammy, what's happening?" Sam groaned.
"I'm… I'm gonna be sick." Dean dragged his brother up off the floor and quickly pulled him into the bathroom where he dropped to the ground. Jim and Caleb stayed in the bedroom to give Sam some space.
"Jim, you need to call John."
"Why, what happened?"
"I'm not really sure, all I know is I saw what Sam saw. It was Bobby and John, and they were somewhere dark, and all I could feel was fear. Just call them, find out where they are." Jim nodded, then stopped in the doorway.
"Is he gonna remember that?" Caleb sighed.
"Honestly? I'm not sure Jim, I used to get pretty bad migraines when I was a kid, it wasn't until later that Mackland told me I was probably already having visions, and I just wasn't remembering them. So we will see." Jim went to go phone John and Bobby, and Caleb went to go check on Sam. Dean was sitting on the floor with Sam in his lap, Dean used to do that when Sam was sick when he was a kid. Now they looked ridiculous, two men who were both over 6 feet tall were spread out over the bathroom floor, one in the lap of the other, in any other circumstance Caleb would have laughed, but now all he saw were the same two scared kids he had always seen.
"How's he doing?" Caleb said, sitting just outside the door of the bathroom. Dean looked at his friend with wide eyes.
"He has a migraine, has had one on and off for the past few weeks... it has been making him sick… I can't believe I didn't notice, I thought he was just being moody. I should have known."
"It isn't your fault Dean. Lets face it Sam is a Winchester, they aren't known for telling people when they are hurting or feeling like crap." Dean sighed.
"I just want to know what is wrong with him." Dean said rubbing his hand through Sam's hair. Caleb wished he could tell Dean the truth, but he was ordered not too. He couldn't break that promise to the Triad.
"I wish you knew what was wrong with him too." Caleb said. "C'mon, I will help you get him back to bed." They picked Sam up and the kid groaned but didn't wake up. They put him in Dean's bed because it was closer to the door, and left him in complete darkness. Caleb knew from experience that the last thing you wanted when you had a migraine (especially a vision induced migraine) were bright lights and loud noises. Dean and Caleb made their way down the stairs where Pastor Jim was pacing the living room.
"What's going on Jim?" Dean asked. Jim stopped and looked at Caleb.
"John isn't answering his phone, and they missed their last two check ins." Jim said, Dean's jaw dropped.
"How is that possible? It was supposed to be a relatively easy werewolf hunt."
"I don't know Dean, all I know is that your Dad and Bobby are missing, and we need to find them quickly."