DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN YU-GI-OH (THOUGH IF ANY OF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BUY ME SOME SHARES OF THE CORPORATION THEN THAT WOULD NOT GO AMISS)! RATED FOR SAFETY AND SOME OF THE CONTENT. SEXUAL INNUENDOES MAY BE RIFE! SOME YAOI SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEN DON'T READ.
A few weeks ago, I looked back through my notebook when I had finished all the fics that I had going and I found a load of random drabbles that didn't connect to anything and wouldn't lead to anything. Some are humorous and others are just completely random so bear with them because I was under the influence of many drunken Yamis and a lot of sugar when I pieced them together. They were originally meant to be starter pieces, intended to be put into other fics but in the end I either forgot about them or couldn't be bothered to incorporate them into my fics. So, for your enjoyment I have pieced them all together in a fic I like to call
The idiot files. A series of drabbles written by your favourite baka, ME! (For those of you who don't know, baka is idiot in Japanese). May Ra forgive me…
1. Be one with the tree.
" Marik?"
" Yes Hikari."
" Would you mind me asking what the hell you are doing?"
" … Actually… yes I would. I'm kind of in the middle of something."
Malik put his hands on his hips in exasperation as he looked up at his Yami who was, at that very moment, straddling a tree branch and humping it violently. Malik sighed and called up to him again.
" I can see that! Now, tell me, what are you doing up there?"
Marik paused his assault on the tree and thought for a second, then spoke indignantly.
" Following up something you said."
Malik balked in surprise.
" What could I have possibly said that would make you…to that tree… I don't even want to think about it! For Ra's sake come down here now!"
Marik pouted stroppily but remained atop his lofty perch.
" I can't, Malik! I haven't accessed the tree's sexual powers yet!"
" What?"
" You told me that trees held mysterious sexual powers. Don't you remember?"
Malik sighed angrily and replied in irritation.
" I said trees have SENSUAL powers! Not sexual! Now get down here you fat oaf!"
DEDICATED TO MEELY WHO ACTUALLY ACTED THIS OUT ON ONE SUMMER AFTERNOON AND TO RACH WHO INSPIRED IT.