Im sorry
Flashback
"Please, don't let me die mummy" Esther painfully choked as she was gasping for air to refill her lungs. She looked at her adoptive mother Kate with a look of pain and desperation in her eyes. All Esther wanted was to be loved and be apart of a family. She was drawn out of her thoughts when Kate shouted "Im not your fucking mummy!". Before Esther could react Kate violently kicked Esther in the neck causing her to loose her grip on Kates jumper and slide back into the icy waters below.
End Flashback
Esther lay still in the icy waters sinking further and further into the dark pit of despair. Unconcious and dead to the world, surrounded by a defening silence. The further she plummeted the darker and colder it became, and it became harder to bare. The cold water felt like knives piercing her body over and over, her lips turning a shade of blue and skin turning to a pale ghostly white colour.
It had only been minutes and Esther started to shift back form unconciousness back to the world of reality and slowly her eyes fluttered open and the cold water began to sting her eyes and she immediatly regretted it closing them instantly and started struggling to swim to the surface to be able to breath. Esther was sure her neck was damaged because she flinched in pain when trying to move and trying to swim was difficult because her body was stiff from the harsh temperatures of the freezing water.
Esther eventually got her bearings and began to swim to the surface and through the gap in the broken ice. she inhaled deeply to replace the oxygen in her lungs and hauled herself up onto the solid ground. it was a relief to be able to get out of the water. When Esther felt ready she got up onto her own feet and looked and started to think about going back to the house before she freezes to death, but Esther stopped herself and looked around.
She did a full rotation and she found nothing no police, no cars and no family. She was alone. Then she remembered why. Esther felt guilty about what she did but the damage has already been done and she wished she could take everything back. Be the daughter a mother and father could be proud of, but she ruined it all. Her father was dead and Kate has her kids to protect. All Esther wanted was to be was apart of a family that loved her and it all ended because of her selfishness. Esther looked down and in her hand still lays the knife she killed her father with and immediatley dropped it. "what kind of monster am I?" she whispered to herself a small tear slidig down her cheek. then more followed as she collapsed on the ground pulling herself into a ball shedding her tears freely cursing herself for everything she did.
Eventually Esther made it to her feet and slowly made her way back to the house and dressed into fresh clothes and draped in blankets to help her keep warm and fell into a restless sleep amd woke up in a cold sweat due to nightmares. Esther gave up on sleep and walked into the hall to the spot where she killed her father to find the body gone and the floor blood stained. She collapsed and started to cry again and said "It should have been me" she cried. "it should have been me!" she repeated between sobs.
Esther got up from the floor and made her way to a window at the back of the house where the lake was visible. she had instant flashbacks of herself dying, freezing and the tears came back streaming down her cheeks and she whispered to herself. "Mother, Father. Im sorry"