A/N: Okay, just to make it clear, since it's a Highschool AU in a human world, Spock doesn't have pointy ears and that horrible bowl-cut, when I was writing I imagined him more likely as Sylar in the first season of Heroes. So, sorry if it's confusing.
Hate to love you
James T. Kirk had made quite a name for himself at the Academy and not only because he was one of the smartest cadets but he was also a real womanizer. You could barely meet anyone who didn't know him and there were those people who knew him, only by a different name. He slept over at some girl's room three times a week, at least. And I think I don't have to mention it was never the same girl.
However, only a few people knew he was Bi. It wasn't a secret but since everyone assumed he was into girls because he mostly dated them he didn't felt the urge to correct them. It was his business anyway. He shared a room with his best friend, Leonard McCoy, who was studying to become a doctor and they were pretty close to each other. Once they shared a drunken kiss but it didn't mean anything to Jim and he hoped Bones, it was Leonard's nickname, felt the same way. They were drunk as hell and he only had a blurry memory of how they had ended up on his bed, kissing wildly then passing out. It was better this way. Bones was his best friend, he was like a brother to him, he didn't want to mess it up and he couldn't look at him in the other way. They never spoke of that kiss and went on with their lives as if nothing had happened.
"Hey man, what's up?" Bones called cheerfully as he entered the room, tossing his bag aside. Jim grinned mysteriously, glancing at him from his wardrobe.
"Guess who I'm meeting with tonight." He straightened himself proudly as he picked up a plain white T-shirt.
"Jennifer?" Jim shook his head. "Lydia? Blair? Fiona?" Bones continued guessing, earning a disapproving grunt from Jim.
"Dorothy." He clarified and Bones slapped his forehead slightly.
"Oh, yeah, right, how could I forget?" He teased with a grin.
"Shut up." Jim sent him a glare then turned away, changing his T-shirt. "Today, I'm gonna get laid." He stated with a smug smile, turning back to Bones who only rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, because it's so hard for you to find someone, right?"
"It's more exciting this way. I'm taking a step forward."
"Yeah, you don't bang them on the first date but on the third. Way to change things, really."
"Hey, ever since I came up with this three date rule chicks think of me better." Jim opposed, still grinning proudly.
"Yeah, until you flee and they never hear of you again." Bones pointed out bluntly, throwing himself onto the bed and pulling his laptop from the table.
Jim shrugged nonchalantly "Well, I do not intend to marry any of them."
"Yeah, I'm aware." He sent him a disapproving look but Jim didn't pay much attention. He tugged his wallet and phone into his pocked along with his keys, heading out.
"I'll be late, don't wait up." He grinned and shut the door close.
"Not planning…" Bones sighed.
#
It was five past one in the morning and Bones stifled a yawn as he tried to concentrate on what he was reading. He was tired as hell but had to complete this silly essay he had left for the last minutes and he cursed himself for being this stupid several times before finally doing something useful and started searching for some useful information in the library. He took a few sips of his coffee, knowing the caffeine wouldn't keep him awake much longer. Just two more pages and he would be done.
He stretched his arms out, yawning and rubbing his eyes. He inhaled deeply then continued his work, typing as fast as he could, trying to form sentences that made sense. Suddenly, he heard keys rattling in the lock and he turned only to face Jim who had a rather disturbed look.
"Hey, you're early." He pointed out with a grin, obviously amazed at his friend's expression.
"Yeah, it was kind of quick." Jim grimaced, sitting to the edge of his bed, sighing.
"What do you mean by that?" Bones frowned.
"Well, it was kind of awkward, really. I mean, she told me she was a virgin and she wanted to wait a bit more so I told her of course, I can understand that."
"So?"
"So I went over her place, had dinner together then watched a stupid comedy while cuddling on the couch and she only stated it afterwards!" He fumed in indignity, causing Bones to chuckle gloatingly.
"So much effort for nothing."
"Thank you." Jim snorted sarcastically, standing up to grab his wallet and phone from his pocket and placed them on his table.
"Let me guess, you sneaked out while she went to the bathroom, right?" He asked, grinning triumphantly as Jim confirmed it with a nod.
"Seriously, all girls are insane. One date and they think you want to marry them. I think I should really move on to guys, they're less trouble." Jim groaned frustrated, gathering his pyjamas, towel and toothbrush. "I'm gonna take a shower." He stated and left, leaving Bones alone with his wonderful essay about brain surgery.
On the next morning, Jim was sitting quietly in the class room, deep in his thoughts while he was sipping his coffee, staring into nothing. He was just not in the mood to be around people, all he wished for was to stay in bed, crawl under the blanket and hide from the real world.
"Hey, Jimmy boy, heard your last night wasn't very… successful." A cheery sound came from behind and a second later a blue eyed blonde hopped into the empty seat beside him.
"News is spreading pretty fast, huh?" Jim turned to her, managing a small grin.
"Sorry, man, it was information that needed to be shared." Bones appeared on his other side, patting his shoulder, grinning. He took the seat right in front of him, turning back to them.
Jim sent him a glare. "With Carol, hm?"
"Oh, c'mon, Jim, it happens. No big deal." Carol grinned, bumping her shoulder against Jim's.
"I know, it's just – argh, I'm so damn frustrated, haven't got laid in for two weeks." Jim groaned in complaint, causing Bones to feign a painful grimace.
"Didn't need to hear that."
"Maybe it's not so bad to take a break." Carol supposed. Jim stared at her startled, like he had just been slapped across the face really hard.
"Are you kiddin', right?"
"Oh, please, stop this meaningless sulking and be happy, your friends are here." She smiled and Jim knew she was right and only trying to help. Hell, Carol was one of his few friends and it was a real mystery to everyone how that was even possible, considering Carol was one of the hottest girls in school. Well, Jim did try to hit on her but she made it pretty clear she had no interest in him but they could be friends. Now she was like a sister to him. He managed a small smile and nodded.
"'kay, I'll try."
"That's better. Sooo" She trailed off then a huge grin appeared across her features. "I was wondering if you could tell me the details about your last date." Bones chuckled.
"I hate you." Jim gave her a death glare.
"Please?" She made puppy eyes, biting her lips innocently. Jim eyed him for several seconds then gave in with a defeated sigh.
"Fine. I went over to her place and first we had dinner. I was being such a gentleman, I even brought her a present and a bottle of wine that cost me a fortune. She then suggested to-"
"Oh my god, oh my god!" An excited squeal cut his story telling off and all three of them turned to Nyota who approached them with a shocked expression, hopping onto the seat beside Bones, turning back to face Carol. "Have you seen the new guy?"
"What?" She asked surprised, frowning.
"You don't know what you missed." She sighed dramatically, earning a glare from Carol. "He is a real hottie, heard he is a son of some kind of ambassador or what."
Carol whined. "Seriously? I can't believe I've missed it."
"Don't worry, I took a picture." Nyota gave her a pandering grin and winked, fishing her cell out of her reticule, showing the snapshot to Carol who gaped amazed. Bones and Kirk exchanged a glare, rolling their eyes then Jim leant closer, frowning. Okay, he had to admit that the guy had quite a look, he was tall and handsome, he could figure that much out even though the picture was a little blurry, and he had style. But come on, he was just a good-looking guy.
"Calm down, ladies, he is still a human being." Jim snorted disapprovingly.
Nyota glanced at him knowingly, a teasing smirk appearing on her face. "Are you envious?"
"Please, he is not a concurrency." Jim gave her a self-satisfied smirk.
"Don't be so sure." Carol beckoned her head towards the door where practically the whole team of cheerleaders were standing around someone, talking and smiling and laughing. It was the new guy.
"Wow, he surely knows something." Bones nodded appreciatively, earning agreeing hums from Nyota and Carol. Jim only rolled his eyes, groaning annoyed, murmuring some incoherent words which very much sounded like rich bastard. He didn't like that guy.
#
Jim practically threw the door of his wardrobe open and quickly grabbed a navy blue shirt and his light brown jeans, changing hastily. He had completely forgotten to check the time and it was already past 8 pm. He had only realized how late he was when Bones came back to the room and sent him a confused look, asking if he wasn't supposed to be out by now. He quickly grabbed his things, tugging them into his pocket and left immediately, racing towards the entrance.
He was greeted by annoyed sighs and death-glares by two very pissed-off girls. He mumbled a "sorry", grinning sheepishly and both Carol and Nyota just rolled their eyes then dragged him out of the building. Okay, he was half an hour late, it wasn't such a big deal, was it?
"Seriously, Jim, if you ever do that again, I'll kill you." Nyota threatened. Looked like it was a big deal after all.
"I'm really sorry, didn't check the time." Jim extenuated, still grinning sheepishly.
"Nevermind. Let's get a taxi." Carol changed the topic, raising her hand and waving. About twenty minutes later they were at Cosmos, the most popular club near the Academy. Since Jim decided to take a break from his chain-dates – that's how Carol called it – he spent his free time usually at the room with Bones, not being in the mood for going out.
However, his friends were starting to get sick of his attitude and Carol persuaded him to go out with them, they needed a bodyguard. Nyota had a boyfriend who was currently abroad and she just wanted to have some fun but whenever she went out with only girls she could barely get rid of the guys. Well, it wasn't a surprise, she was a hottie, just like Carol. So, Jim was their bodyguard for the night. At first he wasn't overjoyed about spending probably the whole night in the club but as soon as they reached the entrance and he heard the loud music his mood raised wildly. He wrapped his arms around each girl's waist and grinned, pushing them gently inside.
"'kay then, ladies, let's party!" He exclaimed cheerfully, earning a giggle from both.
"It's good to have you back." Carol grinned and Nyota nodded in agreement.
He grinned back and they headed to the dance floor. Jim couldn't wipe his cheeky smirk off as he noticed some gapes and stares, people clearly wondering if he was a relationship with both girls and how the hell could he have such pretty girlfriends. Well, the main reason he was hanging out with Carol and Nyota was that they made pretty clear to him he wasn't their type and Jim loved them for being so bluntly honest, treating him like a normal person, not some hot guy from the school who is smart, popular and good-looking. Ergo they must be friends with him. Jim hated those kinds of people. Actually, he and Nyota hated each other for a pretty long time before they become friends and if they wanted to be honest they had no idea how the hell that happened. Well, here he was, with his two best friends who were like his sisters, having fun and dancing and drinking and talking and laughing and all of them at once.
However his good mood didn't last very long. After a few shots and wild dances he spotted a strangely familiar guy at the counter. He was trying to remember what his name was and from where he knew him when Carol leant over Jim to Nyota and exclaimed excited.
"Oh my god, look who is here!" She turned to the direction where Carol was discreetly pointing, a wide grin appearing on her lips.
"Wow, hey, let's ask him to join us!" She suggested and Jim sent him a scandalous look.
"You have a boyfriend!"
"But I'm not going to jump on him so it's fine." She waved him off and got to her feet, pulling Carol up and walking up to the counter hastily. Judging by the way they walked Jim knew they weren't exactly sober. Great, now he had to take care of two drunk girls and make sure none of them jumped on that guy. They reached him and he turned so Jim could have a proper look at his face and groaned in defeat. It was that new guy.
He emptied his glass with one sip, whining aloud. "Fucking awesome, please don't come here, please don't come here." He chanted it under his breath like a mantra but it wasn't his lucky day and it took him every of his willpower not to stand up and run away. He wasn't in the mood for chatting with this jerk. Calling him a jerk was pretty rude since he hadn't even talked with the guy but he didn't want to and didn't care.
"Hey, Jimmy boy!" Carol giggled and Jim made a mental note to make her pay for embarrassing him. "He is Spock. He is our new classmate." She explained, pulling the poor guy towards him. "Spock, this is Jimmy."
"Jim, actually." He sent her a glare but she just smiled at him innocently.
"Hi, nice to meet you." The guy extended his hand and Jim reluctantly took it, shaking.
"Yeah, same." He mumbled, looking around. "Sorry, I was just about to leave-" Oh god, he was a total idiot for saying that he couldn't believe he had really done it. Was he seriously freaking out?
"No, Jim, you're not going anywhere." Nyota appeared in his way, smiling at him but Jim knew it was a command.
"I was going to say to buy some more drinks." He snapped out of it quickly, grinning.
"No need for that, I've already bought." The guy named Spock said and Jim bit his tongue hard before he could open his mouth and tell him to go fuck himself. Instead he inhaled deeply and turned back. "Oh, okay." He grinned and sat back, crossing his arms on his chest, mostly listening to Carol and Nyota talking to the guy. He knew he was quite obvious about how much he disliked this Spock but he couldn't help it. He didn't want him to be around, he was annoying. Well, at least his presence annoyed Jim. He was so going to kill Nyota and Carol for this.
He had changed that note to brutally murder them when they excused themselves and left for the ladies' room, leaving Jim alone with Spock. It was so awkward Jim wanted the ground to open and swallow him whole.
"Is everything okay?" Spock asked him suddenly and Jim really didn't want to have a conversation but he didn't want to be a total ass either so he shrugged.
"Yeah, just tired, sorry."
"I'm under the impression that you don't appreciate my presence here." What the fuck was wrong with this guy? Who the hell on Earth would talk like that? Jim tried to keep his cool.
"No, no, just, like I told, I'm tired." He lied but Spock raised an eyebrow, giving him a knowing look.
"Jim, I'm not an idiot." He stated and Jim groaned.
"Okay, fine, I don't like you but I have to endure your company since I promised the girls to be their bodyguard tonight." He said bluntly and Spock was mildly surprised at that.
"I thought one of them is your girlfriend."
"No, no way, they're like my sisters." Jim couldn't believe he was doing what he was supposed not to… having a conversation with Spock.
"I see." Spock nodded thoughtfully. "I think I should leave, don't want to cause you any discomfort." He rose from his seat and as much as Jim wanted him to leave he knew that Carol and Nyota were having a good time. They owed him so much.
"Uhn, no, you can stay. Seriously." Jim grabbed his arm instinctively then let him go just as fast, gulping. "Umm, I just… you can stay. I was being an ass, sorry."
"If it's any consolation I'm not overly fond of you either." Spock stated bluntly as he sat back, giving him a half-smile. "We don't have to be friends but could endure each other's company, what do you say?"
Jim was surprised but quickly gathered himself, giving him a small grin and a nod. "Yeah, I guess that would work."
#
No, that totally wouldn't work! Jim cursed in his mind constantly whenever he was practically forced to be around Spock and he hated how easily he got on well with his friends. He had no clue when and how Spock became part of their 'gang' and sometimes he thought it was all Nyota and Carol's cruel way of making him pay for everything bad he had done in his life. And there were plenty of them. In reality, he just didn't want to admit himself that he was jealous because he was no longer the most popular person in school. Spock clearly possessed most of his skills and features expect the womanizing and cheeky attitude and plus his family was wealthy, his father being an ambassador.
Life sucked. When he told Bones all about how he felt towards Spock and how frustrating it was to act like he didn't hate him as much as he did, Bones only shrugged and with a smirk stated "Don't be such a drama queen, he is not all that bad." Jim gave him a bewildered look then whined, holding his head between his palms. Great, now Bones was defending Spock, too. What the hell was wrong with everyone?!
Since he surely needed a distraction he started womanizing again. Clearly it wasn't the best solution but that kept his mind off how Spock's presence annoyed him to no end and it was a good way to reduce his annoyance. Sex proved to be a pretty good distraction, however when he was really annoyed he had to find a guy, they weren't as delicate as girls and that was exactly what Jim needed. A good fuck. Lots of good fucks, to be exact.
When he told Carol about it she said it was his business but clearly she wasn't overjoyed about it. He cared for Jim a lot, like a good sister would do with her stupid, immature little brother but she had no right to judge Jim and Jim was really grateful for that.
"Anyway, it's not that bad at all. You'll get new embarrassing stories to laugh at." Jim grinned and Carol couldn't help a small smirk.
"Now that's true." He admitted but then she went back to serious mode and Jim pulled a face. "Look, I know you think I'm annoying but you should really stop doing this. It's not normal. Why don't you go on a proper date at least? Find a boyfriend or girlfriend and try to have a normal relationship."
Jim shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't want to." And for him, it was the end of this conversation. Carol only gave him a disapproving head-shake then they changed the topic.
#
A week later Jim swore not to be a womanizer any more. He had just jumped out of the window wearing only his boxers while the girl whose name he didn't even know threw his clothes after him, shutting the window hastily. Yeah, it was kind of awkward when her two meters tall skinhead boyfriend came home and she forgot to mention they were married. So Jim didn't have much choice but to escape through the window to avoid getting beat half-dead.
It was so awkward, he wanted to bang his head against an iron bar. He was hiding in a bush, fumbling to get his clothes back on because it was pretty cold outside. Then he waited a bit before crawled out of the bush and made his way towards the bus stop.
He had been waiting for more than half an hour before he realized the next bus only came at 4 am. It was only ten past two. He groaned in frustration, cursing. He quickly checked his wallet and noted miserably he didn't have enough money for a taxi. Fucking fantastic. He clutched his fists annoyed and started walking.
He wasn't practically walking; it looked like he was dragging himself. He felt extremely miserable and lost. He felt like crying but he restraint himself. He wasn't that low, not yet. The chilly night air felt good and calming against his skin and he inhaled deeply. Maybe he should really listen to Carol and try to have a normal relationship.
When he entered the room Bones was fast asleep and he tiptoed to his bed, lying on top of it and falling asleep almost immediately. He had a very strange dream.
It was all a blur and rushed but no matter how hard he tried to forget he couldn't. Someone was hugging him from the back, holding him tight and Jim felt strangely relaxed in the embrace. He tried to turn back to have a look on that someone's face but the other buried his face into his hair, placing a soft kiss on his head. He smiled and suddenly he spun around and faced Spock. He smiled at him softly and Jim smiled back then Spock leant forward and pressed their lips together.
Jim jolted awake and sat up, panting for air. His mind was spinning and it took him several minutes to calm his racing heart down. What the actual fuck?! Why the hell did he dream about Spock kissing him?! And why didn't his dream-self push him away?
"Jim, is everything okay?" Bones worried voice snapped him back to reality and he blinked dumbly at him.
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine, sorry. Bad dream." He mumbled, forcing a small grin at the end of his sentence and he leant back down, taking large sips of the air while he was staring at the ceiling. He could feel Bones' eyes on him, he obviously wasn't satisfied with the answer but then just shrugged and continued reading a book. Jim tried to fall back asleep but he couldn't, the images of his dream too vivid in his mind. His breath hitched and he shifted uncomfortably in the bed. Awesome…
He didn't know how but somehow he managed to get some more sleep and when woke up and glanced at his phone it was already 11 am. Good thing it was Saturday.
"Good morning sunshine!" Bones grinned at him, sitting on his own bed with his laptop in his lap.
"'morning" Jim mumbled and sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes.
"Jim, why did you sleep in your outdoor clothes?" Bones asked with a frown.
"Umm, too tired to change." Jim explained with a shrug and he got up slowly, grabbing his towel and a change of clothes and made his way towards the bathroom which was on the corridor, a few rooms away. He opened the door only to face Carol who blinked at him in surprised then she stated. "God, Jim, you look like shit."
"Thank you very much." Jim replied sarcastically with a sweet smile.
"You're welcome." She grinned. "Anyway, do you have plans for tonight?" She glanced at Bones then back to Jim.
"Not really." Bones replied, looking at her expectantly. "Why?"
"Scotty is back in town so we're going out! First that awesome pizzeria where they make the best Hawaiian in the world then Cosmos, you're coming, too. Meeting is at 8 pm, the main entrance." She stuttered, not giving them a chance to protest. "And Jimmy boy, don't be late." She winked at him then left.
Jim exchanged a glance with Bones then he left, too, to finally have a nice long shower. He didn't only looked like shit, he felt like that, too, but hearing Scotty was back cheered him up a bit. He hadn't seen his friend for more than a month.
He really hoped Bones would leave him alone but was sure it would be pretty much impossible, so he wasn't surprised when he returned Bones immediately asked. "Jim, what the hell happened last night?"
Jim grimaced then walked to his wardrobe, packing his things away while talking. "Not much. Chick's husband showed up so I had to flee. Through the window. Only in my boxers." He turned back and gave Bones a grin. "Bet you didn't expect this, huh?"
"Seriously, Jim, you're an idiot." Bones rolled his eyes then frowned. "Wait, she had a husband?!"
"Yeah, she forgot to mention that." Jim placed his towel over his chair then threw himself onto the bed, pulling his knees up. "Don't worry, I've learnt my lesson this time."
Bones didn't seem very satisfied with that. "You always say that." He pointed out plainly.
Jim shrugged nonchalantly. "I know, but I'm trying to change, okay? Just haven't found the one person worth it yet." Truth was-, he was scared to be in a relationship. He was scared to have someone too close. Friends were okay, he loved them but it wasn't the same. He didn't have a pleasant childhood, his father died soon after he was born, his mother married an asshole whose favourite free-time activity was to beat the crap out of the five-year-old kid when his wife wasn't around and even when Jim told his mother what happened she defended his jerk step-father. So Jim ran away to his uncle, the only person who he trusted. He and his wife had been taking care of Jim and Jim hadn't seen his mother since then. He concluded she didn't care much. Probably it was the reason why Jim was kind of a bed hopper and avoided having a proper relationship.
"Just promise me you'll be careful, okay? I care about you, you know?" Bones' soft voice stopped his train of thoughts and he glanced at him, smiling.
"I know." He nodded.
#
After meeting with Carol and Bones, the trio headed towards at Pizza Prince where they were supposed to meet Nyota and Scotty. Jim opened the door, ushering Carol and Bones inside.
"There." Carol beckoned her head towards the furthest box where Nyota and Soctty were sitting and laughing at something. Jim's face immediately lit up as he saw Scotty. Nyota looked at their direction and whispered something to Scotty then both of them stood up, grinning at them.
"Hey, man!" Jim greeted Scotty with a warm hug and got a bone-breaking one in return.
"Hey Jimmy boy, long time no see." Scotty said when he had finally let Jim go, both of them still grinning.
"How was London? Let me guess, rainy?"
"You bet." Scotty laughed then moved to greet Bones and then Nyota introduced him to Carol. Then they sat down and started talking, at first mostly about what they should order. Jim insisted he could eat a whole XXL pizza but then he settled to share one with Bones after Nyota threatened him with quoting 'If you leave even a tiny bit of it I'm gonna shove it down your throat!'. After some more arguing they ordered at last and then changed the topic of their conversation.
Scotty did most of the talking since he had some pretty interesting stories to share and the others were listening him surprisingly quietly, not wanting to miss any detail. When he was done it was the others' turn which turned out to be a loud, incoherent babbling of nonsense because they were all speaking at the same time. Thankfully, their pizzas arrived and they concentrated on eating, only one of them talking at a time so finally Scotty had some clue what had been going on while he was away.
While Bones and Nyota were focused on Scotty's story about his colleague who tried to repair the copy machine and ended up covered with ink from head to toe, Jim leant over the table, asking Carol in a low-tone.
"How come you didn't invite Mr. Oh-so-perfect-human-being?" He asked mockingly and Carol rolled her eyes at the nickname. Then she smiled sweetly at Jim, irony is clear all over her face.
"Don't be so upset, you'll meet him at Cosmos." She winked at him and Jim sent him a glare, regretting he had asked. He should have known his friends won't leave freaking Spock out of the whole fun. He had a feeling they were doing it on purpose, just to make his life harder. However, he felt strangely relieved to hear they would meet though there was no way in Hell he would admit it.
Cosmos was crowded and loud as always and it was a good thing they had a box reserved because otherwise they would have to wait a lot. Just as they had taken their seats Spock appeared and Jim couldn't help a barely audible murmur of "great" under his breath. Carol sent him a glare, obviously heard it, then stood up to greet Spock with a kiss on his cheek then she turned to the guy standing next to him, extending her hand. And the others did the same, greeting Spock and his friends, introducing Scotty to them. Jim just sat there, rolling his eyes annoyed. Seriously, he didn't understand when Spock became this close to everyone. They were supposed to be Jim's friends, not his.
"See you're still as bad-mannered as you were, Jimmy-chan." A mocking tone snapped Jim out of his thoughts and he narrowed his eyes, glaring up at the guy standing right next to him. Then his eyes widened and he got to his feet, exclaiming in pleasant shock. "Karu?!"
"Bad-mannered but still smart." The Japanese guy grinned then shook hands with Jim who pulled him against his chest abruptly and gave him a warm hug. He hugged back after a second of surprise, patting Jim's back.
"And you're still an annoying brat." Jim grinned back at him when they pulled back, earning surprised stares from Spock, Carol and Bones. Nyota and Scotty had mysteriously disappeared probably to dance.
"You know each other?" Carol asked genuinely surprised.
"Yeah, yeah, we've been kind of… dating." Jim admitted bluntly.
"'Kind of', yeah, that's a good way to describe." Karu chuckled.
"But, we parted as friends so don't worry; no awkward situations." Jim clarified, grinning at Karu who grinned back reassuringly then they sat down.
However, it was a little awkward when they sat down, not really knowing what they should do or say. Jim wanted to talk with Karu but he'd rather did it alone and it seemed inappropriate to leave poor Bones with Carol and Spock. However, it turned out Bones wasn't thinking in the same way because moments later he was being pulled up by Carol who dragged him away to dance, too, joining Nyota and Scotty. Bones didn't seem to have any problem with that. Jim made sure to send him a death-glare for leaving him alone with Spock and Karu. Karu was okay, but Spock?!
"I'll get something to drink. You want something?" Jim stood up, getting fed up with how uncomfortable the situation was. It wasn't supposed to be, but it was anyway. Damn!
"No thanks, I'm good." Spock said stiffly. Hikaru also shook his head so Jim just shrugged and went away, thanking god he finally escaped. There was quite a crowd at the counters but that meant it would take him more time to get back. Perfect.
He had been standing there for at least fifteen minutes, still waiting when someone poked his ribs and he turned to curse whoever had done to Hell but it was Karu, so he just only smiled. "Hey, what's up?"
"Scotty and Nyota are back and talking with Spock about something I have absolutely no idea so I thought you would want some company."
"Yeah, well, things were a bit awkward so I wanted to get away." Jim shrugged nonchalantly. "So, how have you been by the way?" He smiled, figuring it was a good chance for a proper conversation. They would have to wait for ages anyway.
"What should I say. I'm doing fine, got accepted to a university and have a normal relationship now." Hikaru said shortly, but he was still smiling softly. Jim was glad they didn't feel uncomfortable. Once, they were friends with benefits but that didn't quite work out so they stopped but neither of them hold a grudge against the other. It was simple.
However, hearing Hikaru had a relationship made him wonder who it could be and before he could stop himself he blurted out the question. "Are you and Spock together?"
Hikaru looked at him startled and scowled but then gave him a knowing grin. "Don't worry, he is all yours."
"What?" Jim practically shrieked, earning a few glares from the people around. "Oh, no, no way, I kinda hate that guy."
Hikaru looked at him in disbelief. "Aw, c'mon, I know he is your type." He teased.
"Definitely not!" Jim opposed stubbornly.
"That's a pity 'cause you guys would make a really good couple." He stated plainly but before Jim could think of a reply he shrugged and simply changed the topic. "Anyway, we're having a huge party next weekend. It's my boyfriend's birthday. I'd like you to come."
"Oh, yeah, sure." Jim stuttered, surprised. "But is it a good idea? I mean-"
"It's okay, I've invited the others as well." Hikaru grinned reassuringly.
"Okay. I'll go for sure then." Jim grinned back then after a few more minutes of casual chatting it was their turn to order. Finally.
This night, well, to put it short, sucked. It had been horrible except meeting with Scotty and Hikaru. The rest… simply awful. After ordering their drinks Jim and Hikaru went back to their booth, joining Nyota, Scotty and Spock. Karu slowly joined the conversation but Jim was in no mood for that. 'Why the hell does he have to be here?!' His presence turned into even more annoying to Jim when Scotty appeared to like Spock and they were talking about something – Jim didn't even bother to pay attention – enthusiastically. Jim assumed Spock was enthusiastic, too, though he didn't act like one. He only had his usual serious face but the way he was listening to Scotty, his brows furrowed a bit and his lips just barely parted…
'Why does everyone like him?!' Jim continued his train of thought which pretty much consisted of plans about how to get rid of Spock. He just couldn't get why everyone was so excited about him? What was so special about him? He tried to examine him which turned out to be constant staring but he cared less. No one was paying attention to him anyway when freaking Spock was there.
So, okay, he was quite well-built. He was tall and slim but muscular, Jim could see his biceps straining against the soft fabric of his long-sleeved black V-necked T-shirt. He was smart and polite and rich, but that wasn't an issue, half of the Academy was rich anyway. So Jim got back to his starting thought. He was handsome and he surely had some kind of special charm, attracting many eyes even in the dimly lit club. Those chocolate brown eyes framed with long lashes and those red, full lips which made Jim to- 'Fuck! No!' Jim shook himself and glanced away quickly, hoping he wasn't blushing as much as he had assumed. 'This can't be happening.'
He knew it was a close call, he had to go home, right now. His eyes were searching for Bones in the crowded dance floor and thankfully he found him pretty quick. Well, the problem was he was still dancing with Carol, both of them having a great time apparently. Carol's arms were around his neck while Bones had her hands on her hips, and they were pretty close to each other. Like very close. He wanted to drag Bones back with him but seeing them like that he changed his mind. He didn't have the heart to ruin their moment. Okay, that was a lie, he would have but he was too afraid of Carol's wrath, so he just got to his feet, mumbled something about being tired and having too much drink then after a hasty "goodbye" he left.
He was lying on his bed, trying to get some sleep but an annoying image kept popping up in his mind persistently. 'Spock brushing his thumbs against Jim's bottom lip then leaning closer' or 'Spock kissing Jim passionately while embracing him tightly' or 'Jim panting for air as Spock was unbuttoning his shirt a wicked and ridiculously sexy smirk.' Jim's erection strained against his pants.
"Dammit!" Jim cursed loudly then buried his face into his pillow. Karu's words echoed in his mind like a ring of a church's bell. "He's all yours. You guys would make a really good couple."
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Jim carried on with the cursing, screaming into his pillow. 'This can't be happening. I don't even like him!' Why the Hell was he having a hard-on while thinking of Spock?!
'Because he is clever, kind, dangerously sexy and you bet the sex would be awesome.' A mocking tone answered in his mind and no matter how hard Jim tried to ignore it he knew it was right.
'It's just momentary.' Jim convinced himself, continuing his inner-talk which should freak him out but somehow it seemed oddly natural. 'I haven't had sex for a while so it must be just simple desire. I just need to sleep then bang someone tomorrow and then it would go away.' Finally, he managed to calm himself down and he fell asleep with a self-satisfied smirk on his lips.
Jim woke up at ten past ten in the morning. He glanced at the other bed where Bones was sound asleep, wearing his clothes from the party and his arms and legs were spread across the entire bed. Jim assumed he didn't move since he lied down. He had a blurry memory of Bones stumbling into the room around 5 o'clock and after bumping into the wardrobe and his desk a few times he finally managed to reach his bed and threw himself on it. Jim was glad he didn't mistake his bed for his, it would have been quite unpleasant to have a drunken Leonard McCoy landing on top of you.
Jim chuckled slightly then other memories of the previous night crept into his mind and he grimaced as an unwelcomed image of a certain somebody popped up in his mind. He groaned in frustration and punched his pillow. "Fucking Hell!"
Bones snorted loudly and for a moment Jim was worried he might have heard it and then would ask him but thankfully he wasn't awake. Jim got up stolidly to get ready and after half an hour he was leaving to the gym, taking his phone out the second he was out of the room. He searched for a certain name and when he found it, he dialled the number. After a few ring there was an answer.
"Hey, Gaila!"
#
After the work-out session Jim took a nice long shower then headed off to meet Gaila, his occasional sex partner. They had been going out for probably a few weeks but it didn't work out. But the sex was great and Jim was pleasantly shocked when Gaila suggested they could be fuck-buddies. Of course, he agreed. It wasn't a regular thing, when Gaila had a boyfriend she didn't cheat on him with Jim and Jim respected that. But when neither of them had anyone they meet, had sex, talked a bit, then everyone went home.
It had been working just fine until this day. Jim tried – he really did his best but he wasn't in the mood which was ridiculous, because Gaila was just as beautiful and sexy as always and Jim really wanted to want her but his body didn't obey his mind.
"What's the matter, Jim?" She asked, examining his face with her bright brown eyes.
"Nothing, sorry." Jim assured her with a small smile but when she leant forward to resume their kiss he pulled away, earning a confused look from Gaila.
"Jim, just tell me. I want you to be honest with me." She said softly with an unsure smile. Jim drew further from her on the couch and buried his face into his palms – a habit he had recently picked up – and growled annoyed. It was so humiliating! Here he was with a gorgeous girl who was about to have sex with him and he couldn't even kiss her properly, let alone the fact that the thought of having sex freaked him out. What the Hell was wrong with him?!
"Sorry, I just have a lot in my mind." He confessed in defeat. "How about tomorrow?"
"That's fine by me." She replied but continued staring at him until he finally looked back. Then she continued. "But you know, you should be with her, not me." She pointed out bluntly and seeing Jim's confused expression she clarified. "The girl you're thinking of." She wasn't angry or disappointed or annoyed, she was simply speaking the truth. And she was sympathetic, something Jim admired about her.
"It's not that easy." He sighed troubled.
"You guys always have to make everything so damn difficult, it's super annoying." She rolled her eyes, punching him playfully on the shoulder. "Just tell her. I don't think she would reject you."
"It's a he, actually." Jim admitted, fixing his gaze on the floor. He felt even more miserable than before but Gaila wanted him to be honest.
"Oh." She was surprised only for a second, then a sad smile appeared across her face and she placed her hand on Jim's shoulder gently. "Is he… is he not into guys?" She asked carefully.
"I don't know. I think he is, but I'm not sure." He glanced back at her and she was having this expression like someone has a great idea and her wide grin only proved Jim was right. He had a bad feeling about what was coming.
"I could help you with that. I could try seduce him if you want to." She offered, eyes shining in excitement.
"Uhn, no, thanks." Jim smiled weakly and Gaila's eyes went wide in shock.
"Oh my God! Jim, you love him, don't you?" She exclaimed.
"What? No, I'm not!" Jim retorted but Gaila was staring at him doubtingly.
"You can lie to yourself as much as you want but it would be easier if you just admitted." She stated and Jim went silent for a while. This can't be. He can't be already in love with Spock? Must be really cold in Hell nowadays…
"I don't love him. I barely know him." He mumbled quietly. "I'm just attracted… maybe… a bit."
"A bit?" Gaila echoed in disbelief then smiled. "Jim, you can't even have sex with other people, damn, you couldn't even kiss me! You, the ladies' favourite high and mighty James T. Kirk!" Again, she was brutally honest but she was right. Jim hated her for it.
"I just… I don't know what to do… and fuck, I can't believe I'm actually telling you all this." He had just realized how odd it was.
"Well, I don't know him and since I'm one of those few who understand you I think it's quite obvious." She said then reassured him. "But don't worry, it's not weird – okay, maybe a little, but I don't mind and I'm not mad or anything. We can talk about it if you want to." She offered.
After another long silence Jim spoke at last. "Thanks, I really appreciate it but right now, I don't really want to talk about it. I… I just want to be alone."
"Okay." She nodded. "Just remember if you want to talk to someone, I'm here." She smiled.
"Thanks." Jim smiled back and gave her a hug.
#
This was officially the worst time of Jim's life. He was making a complete idiot of himself because every time Spock appeared he left in haste, earning surprised, confused or angry glares from his friends. Carol demanded to tell her why he was acting like a total asshole towards Spock and it was very rude what he was doing but he couldn't help it. He just shrugged it off, saying he couldn't tolerate Spock any more but it was a complete lie.
The real reason was that when Spock walked in the classroom on Monday morning Jim couldn't take his eyes off of him and kept on practically staring at him during the first class, being deep in his thoughts. Then he realized Spock was staring back at him with a barely recognisable frown and Jim immediately looked away, blushing deeply. He cursed himself for the rest of the day for acting like a virgin college girl.
So he came to the conclusion it was better to avoid Spock as much as possible in order not to do anything stupid again and he had succeeded so far.
Until today.
He overslept. He fucking overslept even though he had to start only at third period. So obviously Bones had left earlier, he only remembered blurrily, then he didn't wake up to his damned alarm. It was twenty to eleven and his class started at eleven. Okay, school was close but getting ready within fifteen minutes? Impossible!
However, he was James T. Kirk and nothing was impossible for him. Apparently, arriving at school on time was. He was only two minutes late but class had already started when he burst into the room, mumbling an apology hastily then glancing around quickly, trying to find an empty seat. There was only one. Beside Spock. It was definitely not Jim's day.
And it was getting worse. He was trying to stifle his pants but he had to run all the way and his heart was racing not only because of that. Spock was dangerously close to him, their shoulders almost touching and Jim desperately tried to look at anything but him. He fished his books out of his bag as quietly as possible and was trying to pay attention to the teacher. He had to read almost every damn sentence twice because his mind kept wandering off to topics he was really not supposed to have. Not at school right now when Spock was sitting next to him. Jim felt his cheeks burning and only could hope it would go unnoticed.
However, Spock beside him was calm and collected as always and he was totally ignoring Jim which he should be grateful for but it somehow pissed him off. Why wouldn't he even look at him when Jim had spent the past week thinking of him 24/7? Bastard.
This wasn't happening. This couldn't be true. It had to be a bad dream, no, a nightmare even. Not only the teacher had to make them doing pair-work with the person they were sitting with today but he ended up spending the whole afternoon with Spock in the city library. The only good thing was they were both top students so they would finish quickly. Not quick enough for Jim's liking though.
It was extremely difficult to concentrate on the damn paragraph and find something useful about Greek theatrical culture while all Jim could think was about how he wanted to be somewhere else or, the worst, how would Spock react if he just flew himself at him and kissed him. Nope, that was never going to happen. Spock was an annoying, selfish, rich guy who happened to be so damn handsome and, as Hikaru had already pointed out rather bluntly, was Jim's type. Those dark brown chocolate eyes, his messy, black hair, his strong features, his manly appearance-
"Fuck, no!" Jim hissed under his breath, earning a glare from the middle-aged lady standing not so far next to him. 'Great…' He sent her an apologetic grin then hurried away, back to the table where Spock was too occupied writing something down to pay attention to Jim.
They exchanged a few words, strictly about things related to their work so Jim could lost in his thoughts which were not about the essay they were supposed to be writing.
"Is everything alright?" Spock's voice snapped him out of his reverie and he jerked in his seat, glancing at Spock confused.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He mumbled then turned his attention back to the paper which was empty. Damn. "I need another book." He stated and practically jumped up, hurrying to the nearest bookshelf which was Greek history related. He forced himself to concentrate, desperately trying to find a proper book but all of them were about the Roman Empire.
"You seem a little distracted today." Spock appeared beside him.
"Yeah?" Jim didn't bother looking at him, trying to sound as uninterested as he could.
"How about we call it a day and continue the research tomorrow?" Spock offered.
Jim laughed shortly, finally glancing at Spock. "Eww, no thanks, I don't wanna spend another of my precious afternoons with you." He declined rudely. There was a flash of second when Spock looked really hurt but then it was gone. However it was enough for Jim to feel like a total asshole. "Sorry, I'm just… having a bad day." He sighed, trying to sound as sincere as he could be because he really meant it right now.
"Right." Obviously Spock didn't believe him and Jim didn't understand why it was bothering him so much.
"I really am. Look, let's just go home now and come back tomorrow." He suggested with a sheepish grin but Spock was even more tensed than usual.
"Don't bother, I'll finish it, you can go home." Before Jim could even think of a reply he walked away.
"Oh, god, now I really fucked it up." Jim sighed, staring at Spock's back miserably. This was officially the worst day of his life.
#
Avoiding Spock in the following days was the best plan Jim could come up but he knew it was impossible not to meet him at the party. He would try his best though.
Scotty and Nyota would join them later so that left Carol, Bones and Jim to arrive together to the party which had already been going on for more than an hour now. Unnecessary to state but most of the guests weren't sober.
"Wow, kid's got money." Bones whistled appreciatively, eyeing the house. It was quite big, enough for all the guests and it was decorated with neon lights and there were also huge loudspeakers all around the garden. There was a DJ and people were dancing around or in the pool. There was even a Jacuzzi and a freaking sauna! Jim heard Hikaru's boyfriend was from a wealthy Russian family but damn, he didn't expect him to be this wealthy. He was sure it wasn't his home, more likely a place he rented for the occasion. He wondered how his own house looked like.
Jim spotted Hikaru talking to a few people and waved at him. He waved back with a grin and excused himself, walking towards their small group, smiling happily.
"Hey guys, I thought you would never make it." He joked while shook hands with Bones and Jim, giving Carol a kiss on her cheek.
"Yeah, well, Carol getting ready took forever." Jim sighed and shook his head disapprovingly, earning a smack on his scalp from the blonde. Hikaru and Bones only laughed.
"Come, let me introduce you to the host." He beckoned his head towards the house and the others followed him. It didn't take him long to find his boyfriend because suddenly someone practically jumped on him, hugging him tight and giving him a quick kiss.
"'Karu, I reaaaally love you for this." The boy, not older than fifteen by appearance, grinned stupidly at him, swinging his arm and pouring most of the beer to the ground.
"I know, Pav." Hikaru smiled back at him then peeled his arms off, turning him towards the others.
"Guys, this is Pav, my boyfriend. Pav, these are my friends I was talking about. Carol." She nodded with a smile. "Bones." Bones grinned. "And Jim." Jim felt nervous all of a sudden but managed to wave at him friendlily. He was worried that Hikaru would get in trouble, he was sure this Pav guy was underage.
"Make yourselves home and let's paaaaarty!" He exclaimed cheerfully, taking a huge sip from his drink.
"Oh, we brought you a present!" Carol said abruptly as she had just remembered something and opened her bag, pulling a rather big bottle of vodka out. "I've heard Russian drink Vodka, right?" She grinned sheepishly.
"I already love you!" Pav grinned and threw his arms around her, giving her a bone-breaking hug then taking the bottle from her. Then he hugged both Jim and Bones, too, before walking away.
"Drinks and food are in the kitchen, second door on the left but I'm sure you'll find it." Hikaru instructed and Bones and Carol nodded, already heading away.
"Okay, I know it's not really my business but how old is your boyfriend?" Jim asked, genuinely worried. Hikaru laughed heartily at that.
"Don't worry, we won't get in trouble. He is eighteen and things are different in Russia, he is officially an adult now." He patted his shoulder reassuringly then changed the topic before Jim couldn't continue. "That reminds me, how things are going between you and Spock?"
"Ugh, horribly." Jim spoke before he could stop himself and then stared at Hikaru horrified.
"So you admit you have a thing for him." Hikaru teased and Jim groaned in defeat. There was no point to deny it to him.
"Yeah, maybe, I don't know…" He stuttered. "Let's just not talk about it right now, I wanna get as drunk as it's possible for a human."
"Then you're at the right place, man."
An hour and a half and several drinking games later Jim had lost the ability to walk straight which is no surprise, really, considering the amount of whisky, vodka and tequila he had drunk. It's a miracle how was he even conscious. He doubted that everyone at the party was at adult age but hey, who was he to judge them? He had also drunk when he was underage, so he just shrugged his mild worries off and continued chatting and laughing, and of course, drinking with a group of Pavel's schoolmates.
A few times he had caught a glimpse of Spock but he tried his best to ignore him and Spock didn't seem to notice him, Or he just didn't care, which was worse and pissed Jim off to no end. Jim seriously feared he would do something stupid in his drunken state, something like telling Spock how bad he really wanted him. The alcohol made him bold and careless and dangerously honest and he couldn't allow himself to slip. Okay, he had the hot for the guy so what? There were other handsome guys at the party, he could pick up one of them easily.
No, he didn't even bother looking at anyone in that way. He wanted Spock. Like, right now.
"You know what, guys?!" He exclaimed with a stupid grin all over his face and jumped to his feet which was a really bad idea. The world started spinning around him and he had almost fallen back if a girl standing beside him wouldn't have steadied him, laughing.
"I'm gonna get myself laid!" He shouted, swinging his arms and spilling his vodka.
The others around him cheered encouragingly, some of them even clapped and then they raised their glasses, emptying them with one quick gulp. Jim laughed and drank his remaining vodka, too then turned to leave when the floor was coming closer and then the world went dark around him.
#
"Hey, Spock, wanna join the drinking game?" Nyota asked with a grin, beckoning her head towards Scotty, who was sitting on the floor in the spacious living room, surrounded by a bunch of people, giggling and laughing.
"No, thank you, I don't drink." Spock declined politely. Actually, he did drink, but right now wasn't in the mood. He didn't understand why Jim was ignoring him, why he was acting so hostile towards him. He hadn't done anything against him.
"I know you drink, we've gone out a few times." Nyota pushed on, smiling knowingly at him. Spock knew he couldn't lie.
"I'm just not in the mood, sorry." He admitted with a sigh.
"Is it because of our idiotic Jimmy boy?" She asked sympathetically, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. She knew Jim wasn't very fond of him and tried his best to avoid him and recently Nyota came to a conclusion that Jim must felt the opposite way though he was too stubborn to admit. Now the only question remained was, was Spock feeling the same way? "Don't let his stupid behaviour let you down. He is a good guy but can be an asshole sometimes, I know."
"Usually he is the latter with me." Spock admitted quietly, trying to sound as neutral as he could.
"Well, maybe he just needs some time to get used to you. I mean, you're new here and-"
Loud, shocked shouts cut her off and they both turned towards the sounds. Spock and Nyota exchanged a quick, worried glance then hurried there, only to find a very unconscious Jim lying on the floor, two guys trying to get him into a sitting position while Hikaru was forcing some water down his throat. A few seconds later Jim's eyelashes flattered and he blinked a few times before opening his eyes half.
"God, Jim, are you all right?" Nyota gasped, kneeling beside him immediately and turning his face to look at her.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm good." Jim mumbled trying to sit up straight but failed and fell back against Hikaru's chest.
"No, Jim, you're definitely not good." Hikaru stated beside him, grabbing him by the shoulder and forcing him up. He steadied him with his chest and grabbed the bottle of water from the guy kneeling next to him, holding it in front of Jim. "Drink."
Jim took a few sips though most of it poured down his chin and he coughed, choking on it.
"We should take him home." Nyota suggested, looking at Hikaru.
"Let's take him outside first, he could use some coldness." Hikaru stated, snaking his arms under Jim's shoulder and trying to lift him up but it wasn't an easy task. Spock appeared beside him almost immediately, throwing one arm around his neck while Hikaru did the same, sending Spock a thankful nod. Nyota cleared the way and the two guys carried Jim to the garden, making him to sit on the grass.
He had to lean against Hikaru's chest again because he was still unable to sit straight on his own but at least he was conscious.
"Damn, Jim, you scared us to death." Hikaru scolded him though he was relieved.
"Oh, c'mon, I'm okay." Jim chuckled and tried to move away but ended up falling aside to the ground.
"You're not okay, Jim, what did you drink?" Nyota asked, waving the bottle of water in front of Jim, signalling him to drink it.
"Please, don't make me recall." Jim groaned and took it from Nyota, trying to drink as much as he could. He wanted to throw up but he couldn't.
"You should take him home." Nyota turned to Hikaru who shook his head in denial.
"I've drunk." He grimaced. "And no cab would take him." He added. Nyota released a frustrated sigh, saying she had drunk, too.
"I could take him home." Spock offered out of the blue and both Nyota and Hikaru snapped their heads at him, staring at him bewildered. Spock frowned confused. "I didn't drink."
There was a long silence before Nyota spoke.
"Are you sure it won't be much trouble?" She asked unsurely.
"Well he shouldn't stay here and probably I'm the only one who hasn't drunk, so it's only logical." Spock reasoned. Hikaru nodded.
"He's got the point." He turned towards Jim, who was lying on the wet grass, his eyes closed. He shook him gently. "Hey, Jim, Spock is gonna take you home."
"Hmm…"
"I think he agreed." Hikaru grinned at Nyota who grinned back with a meaningful look. They turned simultaneously to Spock.
"All right, let's get this idiot in your car."
Half an hour and a generous amount of swearing and dragging a half-conscious Jim across a garden full of drunken people Spock was driving home. Jim was sitting on a passenger's seat, a huge bucket in his lap, his forehead resting against the edge of it.
"I know you hate me, but please don't throw up in my car, okay?" Spock glanced beside him.
Jim managed a short chuckle then mumbled something which Spock couldn't quite understand so he decided to leave it.
"So, where do you live?"
There was no reply.
"Jim?" Still no reply.
"Jim?!" Spock shook his arm carefully. All he got was a growl. Great.
#
Jim landed on huge king-sized bed with a loud 'thud', his feet still touching the floor. He was feeling a bit better. But only just a little bit, like, he was able to keep his eyes open now and stand on his own legs though he was swinging from left to right or stumbling, or tripping over every staircase while Spock was dragging him up to his door.
He barely recognized that Spock was taking his shoes off then pulling him up a bit on the bed, positioning him to be as comfortable as it was possible then left only to return with some more water.
"You need to drink as much as you can, it will help." Spock told him as he sat on the edge of the bed and Jim only giggled.
"I know." He took it and did as he was told, handing the empty glass to Spock who refilled it.
After two more glasses Jim lied back on the bed, fumbling with his belt then lifted his hips a bit to tug his jeans down. It was too tight around his stomach and he didn't want to throw up. Then he managed to somehow remove his navy T-shirt, too, though it was a pretty difficult procedure for Jim and Spock regretted he hadn't recorded it.
When he was lying only with his pants on he turned to look at Spock and grinned at him sheepishly. "You make me want to take my clothes off."
Then came probably the most unexpected thing Jim had ever witnessed. Spock let out a long, hearty laugh, one which filled Jim's heart with joy. He had never heard him laughing before.
"You're so wasted." Spock stated after he had calmed down, grinning at Jim.
"Yeah, I am." Jim agreed, laughing. He managed to sit up somehow, moving closer to Spock who frowned confused. "You have no idea what are you doing to me." Jim whispered, staring into Spock's huge brown eyes.
"I still fail to understand why you hate me so much." Spock admitted honestly, staring back at Jim. Neither of them was smiling anymore.
"I don't hate you." Jim said quietly, now looking from Spock's eyes to his lips.
"You've been doing a rather effective job to make me believe so."
Jim snorted. "Yeah… because I hate you can act all so cool and collected while you're driving me crazy."
Spock didn't have a chance to reply because at the next moment Jim had his palm against his nape, pushing him closer and crashing their mouths together unceremoniously. Spock tensed as their lips met but came to his senses a few seconds later and gently pushed Jim away before he could deepen the kiss.
"I think I should go." Spock said stiffly and got up and left in record time, leaving Jim confused and regretful.
He successfully fucked everything up again…
Jim's eyes snapped open and he practically jumped out of the bed, running towards the bathroom. He was really grateful that Spock had an en-suite bathroom and left the lights on so Jim found his way at first and practically attached the toilet. He threw up.
He felt sick, the alcohol burned his throat as it came back, and his vision was blurry due to tears. If he was not throwing up he was coughing badly, clawing at the edges of the toilet.
"Gods, James, are you all right?" Spock's startled voice came behind but Jim was too sick to care.
"Water." He managed to choke out, before he threw up again. He swore never to mix alcohol again.
Just as he was wiping his mouth with a load of toilet paper Spock came back with a glass of water, handing it to Jim.
"Thanks." He said in a hoarse tone and forced it down his throat. He coughed and dropped the glass, his fingers too weak to hold it. Thankfully it didn't shatter. He let his forehead rest against the edge, too, not daring to move away in case his stomach decided to send something back again.
"Fuck." He groaned frustrated.
"It's a miracle you don't have alcohol poisoning." Spock declared calmly, leaning against the doorframe and staring at the wall across him.
"Yeah, well, I'm not exactly proud of myself." Jim coughed and tried to retch again but there was nothing more to come out. It was awful and he felt like a complete idiot. He wanted the ground to open under him and swallow him whole. This whole situation was simply embarrassing.
Spock chuckled. "I can imagine."
Jim felt so sick he decided it was better not to open his mouth, fearing something else would come out instead of words. He didn't know how much time passed when he finally trusted himself enough not to throw up again and he rolled aside, lying down the cold floor after he had flushed.
"You okay?" Spock sounded worried. Jim must have been still drunk, because Spock couldn't sound worried. But then again, Jim thought he couldn't laugh either.
"Just… leave…me." He panted, closing his eyes.
"You'll get sick." Spock opposed.
"Don't make me move, please." Jim almost pleaded. Right now he felt rather good but he wasn't sure what would happen if he moved. He didn't know what Spock's reply was because he fell asleep.
Jim woke up, blinking a few times before his eyes got used to the heavy light. He wondered what time it was but then he realized the lights were on. He sat up slowly, glancing around. He had a blurry memory of falling asleep on the bathroom's floor but now he was on the bed. Spock must have carried him there. 'Fucking awesome.' Jim thought sarcastically.
He released a heavy, troubled sigh then decided it was better to face Spock sooner than later so he got up and his first way led him to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Gratefully he found a spare toothbrush – Spock must have put it there. Then after a quick search he found his T-shirt and put it on.
Spock was in the kitchen, making breakfast. Hell, he was making freaking pancakes! Jim cleared his throat to get his attention.
"Hey." He grinned sheepishly.
Spock glanced at him over his shoulder. "You look better." He stated nonchalantly.
"I feel better." Jim admitted, trying to sound as casual as he could. Spock didn't comment, didn't appear to pay any attention at all and Jim just continued staring at his back pathetically while shifting from one leg to another. When the silence was unbearable, Jim spoke again. "Umm… you know… about yesterday… I'm sorry."
"What are you exactly apologizing for?" Spock finally turned to look at him, his expression unreadable as always.
"Uhn, well, about causing trouble… me getting drunk as hell…" A very clear memory popped up in his mind unexpectedly and Jim paled visibly. He laughed nervously. "About the kiss, too." Then he had to add something because he was James freaking Kirk and couldn't keep his mouth shut. "Though it wasn't even a real kiss, more like just pressing our lips together so it doesn't really count as a… sorry, I tend to speak a lot when I'm nervous."
"Let's just forget about last night."
Jim sighed relieved, relaxing. "Good idea."
Spock nodded and turned back to the pancakes and Jim felt miserable. His whole body and mind was screaming 'no' so loud it was deafening. No, he didn't want to forget anything and he wanted to kiss Spock again. He must have been still drunk a bit but who cared, he had enough of denying, had enough of avoiding and pretending that his very presence didn't drive him crazy. Before he could give it a second thought he was already reaching for Spock's shoulder, gently patting him.
"Ye-hmpf." Spock was cut off by Jim's hungry mouth. He forced his tongue past his plump lips, aggressively demanding entrance while his arms closed around Spock like iron grips. The surprising thing was that Spock didn't try to pull back. He cupped Jim's face between his palms and tilted his head to get a better angle. Jim gasped at the sudden turn of events, giving Spock's tongue a perfect opportunity to claim his mouth, practically devouring him. Jim shut his eyes tight, clinging onto Spock for dear life while he let the taller man take over control.
Suddenly Spock's lips disappeared and he snapped his eyes open, staring at Spock.
"Wow." Jim wanted to slam his head against the wall for this comment.
"Should I take it as a compliment?" Spock asked with a small smirk playing across his features. The bastard!
"You'll have to do better than that." Jim smirked provocatively.
Apparently Spock wasn't the type to turn down a good challenge because in the next second his lips were over Jim's again, kissing him breathless. Somewhere in the back of Jim's mind an annoying voice kept telling him it was wrong and they shouldn't do this but he ignored it stubbornly. He had been wanting this for too long to let his worries get in the way now.
He slid his hands under Spock's long-sleeved blue T-shirt, exploring his skin hastily while kissing back fiercely. He felt Spock tugging at the hem of his tee and Jim pulled back only for a second to let him remove it then his lips were back on Spock's again. His fingers were busy unzipping Spock's jeans then he pushed him down. They stumbled and ended up falling, Jim landing exactly on top of Spock who was lying on the floor. Their kiss broke and they let out a short laugh.
"You okay?" Jim asked, resting his forehead against Spock's.
He just nodded instead of a reply then lifted Jim's face by placing two fingers under his chin, pulling him into a slow, passionate kiss. Jim melted into it, his whole body pressing against Spock, letting him know that he was already quite turned on.
Spock thrust his hips up causing a loud, surprised gasp escaping from Jim's throat, breaking the kiss. Spock grabbed a fistful of Jim's hair tight and pulled him forward, getting perfect access to his neck. He bit into the flesh carefully, sucking it hard enough to leave a mark. Jim's whole body trembled in anticipation and he could only moan helplessly as Spock was already moving to his collar bone, kissing along the line.
"Oh, god!" Jim moaned as Spock slid his fingers into his boxers, groping his ass tightly. He instinctively buckled his hips forward. Jim wasted no time to attack Spock's neck, too, trailing haste kisses down on it then moving further to tease one nipple with his talented tongue after he had pushed his T-shirt up.
Spock drew his hands back across Jim's naked back to his scalp, gripping his hair tightly and pulling Jim up for a quick, rough kiss.
Jim was sure he could come just by kissing and rubbing their bodies together but he wanted more and it was time to proceed further. He pulled back and grabbed the waistband of Spock's jeans and underwear, pulling them down to his knees hastily, revealing Spock's rock hard manhood. He allowed himself a few seconds to take in the sight. Spock was big but that didn't hold him back. Before he could think too much he leant forward and took the tip of it into his mouth, licking it a few times before taking in more, relaxing his gag-muscles until he was able to deep-throat him. Then he started bobbing his head up and down, his tongue running along the flesh, his hands on Spock's hips to steady himself.
"Gods, James." Spock let out a manly groan and it sent the chill up Jim's spine. The tone Spock used to call him 'James' was one hell of a turn on and his fingers entangled in his messy hair, not forcing but encouraging him, was also intensifying his excitement.
He made sure to cover Spock's manhood with as much saliva as he was able to, knowing it was the only lubrication available at the moment. He was sure Spock had a bottle or two somewhere in the house but Jim wouldn't want to risk ruining the mood. He wasn't a virgin, he could take Spock. Also, the numerous times he had fingered himself and jerked off in the past few weeks ensured him he was stretched enough.
"Wa-wait." Spock pulled him up abruptly and Jim's stomach clenched, fearing that maybe he had changed his mind. However, that wasn't going to happen because judging by Spock's face he had no intention of stopping Jim. "We should use protection." He panted, his voice a tone deeper than usual.
"No way, I want to feel you, Spock." Jim whispered against his lips, swallowing Spock's moan by a quick kiss.
He could feel Spock smirking against his lips and he smirked back while somehow managed to kick his boxers off. He pulled back and positioned himself, straddling Spock as he lifted his hips and grabbed his manhood, placing it at his own entrance. Spock brought his hands to his hips, holding him tightly.
Jim inhaled deeply and sent Spock a nervous grin before sitting down, impaling himself on Spock's hard cock. His mouth opened for a silent scream and he squeezed his eyes shut. Yes, Spock was definitely bigger than he was used to.
"James, you okay?" Spock sounded a bit worried though Jim could imagine how hard it had to be for him not to start moving. He could feel how his muscles tensed as he was holding back.
"Yeah, just a sec." Jim panted then slowly opened his eyes, smiling at Spock. "Fuck, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this."
"Well, you should have told me sooner." Spock grinned and Jim let out a small chuckle, nodding in agreement. Another deep breath later he rolled his hips carefully. The burning feeling was still there but it also felt pleasurable and Jim knew it was only going to be better. "You may move now."
That was all Spock needed. He gripped Jim's hips tighter and thrust up a bit, pulling Jim down. Jim moaned loudly, placing his palms against Spock's chest which was naked, his T-shirt being pushed up around his neck. At first, their movements were sloppy but they quickly found the perfect rhythm and a few more thrusts later there wasn't even a slight painful hint in Jim's voice, only the moans of pleasure and ecstasy.
Spock planted his feet against the floor to pick up his pace and soon Jim's legs were shaking so much he couldn't keep up with him. He fell forward onto Spock's chest, his arms lying on each side of Spock's head while his neck was completely exposed to Spock who pressed his mouth against the soft skin, kissing and sucking it needy.
Spock found a spot that made Jim see stars and he moaned even louder, his whole body shaking against Spock as he continued slamming into him now at brutal pace. He had a hard time to push back against him but Spock was holding him firmly and that helped a lot. Soon, Jim was reduced into a panting mess, chanting "please please please" into Spock's ear while nibbling his earlobe.
Another perfectly aimed thrust against his prostate and Jim came with a loud, hoarse cry, his manhood not even being touched. Spock followed him almost immediately, emptying himself into his trembling, and now limp, body, stretching his legs out after.
Jim buried his head into Spock's shoulder, trying to catch up his breath. Spock moved his hands from his hips to his back, embracing him loosely, stroking his sweat covered back soothingly.
Jim wanted to stay in that position forever but knew it was impossible and as he was coming down from his high his worries re-appeared and he felt lost.
"Spock?" He mumbled unsurely.
"Hmm?" Spock turned his head a bit and Jim forced himself to look at him.
"What's next?" He asked confused but to his surprise he received a small chuckle.
"Well, probably we should have talked about it before, but do you want to go out?"
A wide, stupid grin spread across Jim's face. "Absolutely."