Where are you when I need you the most?

Where are you when i need you the most?

To tell me you love me when i feel like dying and no else know i even exist?

Where are you when my heart breaks when I find out my best friend dies of a drug over dose?

Where are you when I need you the most?

To tell that you weren't in the plane that had crashed in the Atlantic Ocean?

Where are you when my grandpa dies from cancer and I need you to comfort me?

Where are you when I need you the most?

To give the kisses that I so need to help make the pain I feel inside go away for ever?

Where are you when I miss my closest friends wedding cuz my mom and dad got into a car crash and I have no one to hold me when I have no one left but you?

Where are you when I need you the most?

I know where you are,

You're in the morgue like every one else I know.

I don't know how long I can live with out you by my side.

But maybe,

Just maybe,

I will be able to find some one to take your place by my side.

Until I meet the right guy I don't know…

All I know is right now I need you to hold me,

The way you did.

I need you kiss me,

The same way you did to make my pain go way.

I need you to whisper in my ear,

'I love you and always will' when I would feel like no one cares about me.

I know you can't do that anymore,

Because you're in the morgue.

It's been five years since you have gone to the morgue.

I have yet to find a new person to stand by my side,

I have to go,

I can't live without you!

I need you right now to tell me that what I'm going to is wrong and I don't need to do it cuz you're alive.

But I know you won't.

The only way I can see you is if I die.

I'm going to do it now before I can't,

And maybe the world will finally know me,

Not for the person I was,

But for a suicidal chick with nothing to lose.

Is that how I want to be known?

Some suicidal chick with nothing to lose?

No!

I want them to know me for the person I am!

I may become a singer and a writer,

And make a song about my life,

And dedicate it to my love…

My Tai.

That's what I'll do with my life,

Even without you by my side,

I'll continue to live.

I'll make sure that you'll be remembered.

Every song I sing I'll sing for you and you only Tai.

The world will know why you died!

If only you weren't there at that time,

If only you were 30 minutes late!

Then you would still be here,

Here to hold me when I cry at night when I'm alone.

Here to say that you love me like you used to.

I miss you!

I will have a specialpoem just for you!

I love you Tai!

And this poem is for you.