Beautiful Disaster

Chapter one: A vain Hope

She had made a mistake. She knew that, could see it oh so clearly now. It struck a pain in her heart, twisted a knife into her soul. She couldn't breath for the weight of the burden that had been placed on her. Really she had placed it on herself. It was pathetic and she laughed harshly at the tragedy it would have been made into had anyone lived to tell about it.

The fool of a woman who, despite all knowledge of who and what he was had fallen in love, and thought she could save him. So naive and bright eyed she had been. The beauty and the beast. The lion and the lamb. Against all odds she thought she could save him. She had thought love could. Her love.

In the end her love changed nothing, his love changed everything. It had changed her, making her despair and bleeding her dry. Sucking out her spirit until there was little that she could recognize left inside of her. Still, even know as she lay here dying in a pool of her own blood that stubbornly naive part of her still hoped that he could be saved. She inwardly cursed her stupidity. Even now, even though he was watching her die from a sword wound made from his own hand she still loved him. Loved him so much it hurt. She wished she could scream, but all sounds were stuck in her throat so she looked at him with violet eyes the gold flecks shining brighter than ever with her sorrow and tried to convey all the words she could not speak.

Silent tears fell, mingling with the sweat and blood on her face. How pitiful she must look. After all this time, she was dying alone...

He was Annatar no more. Now he was Sauron, and Sauron had no problem letting her die.

"Where is Zuko?" He asked, fury barely checked in his voice as he asked after his son. Their son.

Veleka turned her head away from him as her answer. She had sent Zuko away. He wasnt coming back, and Saroun would never touch their son. She still loved him, the father of her son... and her soul burned for it.

"Where is my son!" He roared, and she flinched at the pure hatred in his voice. The ground shook with his anger and Veleka held out no hope for the future anymore. With that last outburst, she knew her love was gone forever, dead while this shadow od Annatar stood before her, a cruel mockery of what they had shared. Images flashed through her mind of hugs and kisses, walks around the sandy shores. Whispered promises at night under clear stars. As time went on, their love grew stronger but so did Sauron's desire for power, and she had watched helplessly as Sauron tore through countries killing anyone who stood in his way.

He had changed for the worse. She hadn't saved him, instead she had damned herself. Closing her eyes, she took a shuddering breath. She could hear her mothers sweet voice, almost smell the warm cinnamon and vanilla scent that had brought her so much comfort growing up when her mother held her in her arms. In her mind she could hear her whispering to her that love conquered all. Her mother had been wrong.

Come home...I will take care of you... She heard her mother saying. She wasn't sure if it was in her imagination or if it was real, but she had always found safety with her mother and desperately wanted to be with her right now. She wasn't able to choke back a sob in time, and blood poured from her mouth. She felt chills all over her, and her heart felt like it had shatter into a million glass pieces. It felt like her soul was ripped from her body and Veleka just didn't want to live anymore. It hurt to much to feel.

A strangled cry was torn from her, and her whole body hurt. It was torture...She had never felt this type of pain before..this horror of love so completely betrayed and she didn't want to survive it.

Come..come now... She heard her mother calling for her again, urgency creeping into her voice. She couldn't hold on anymore. Her spirit fled from her body, to the sound of her mother's voice.

Sakora jerked awake, with a dying scream. The sheets pooled around her waist and her nightdress was plastered to her body in sweat. She sat still gasping in the darkness for a few minutes.

She had been having these dreams for a while. It was always different people, and different places and she always experienced the emotions of the one wronged as if it was happening to her and it scared her.

She wasn't sure what to make of them. Always, always it was love gone wrong, tragic endings. She shuddered at the depth of emotions that were always in them. Each time she felt like death would be a relief, like if it came she would welcome it with open arms. A lot of the time death did come.

Sighing, Sakora took off the silencing charms around her bed and used a spell to check the time. It was only three a.m and she was sure no one would be in the common room yet. Getting up she walked down the steps quietly and took the floo powder off the mantel and tossed some in.

"The kitchen." She said clearly and seconds later a house elf leaned in the fireplace.

"Yes, mistress?" He asked.

"Would you bring me some hot chocolate to the common room please?" She asked him, and smiled slightly when his face light up.

"Oh yes, yes.. Ingy can do that. Would you like something to eat as well mistress?" He asked excitedly, but the thought of food made her stomach clench tightly.

"No thanks..Maybe later." she said absently, but kindly.

Really, Sakora should have known better than to say maybe later. She laughed as Ingy brought in a basket of food for later.

"

Thank you, Ingy." She said with a laugh, taking the basket and the hot coco.

"Oh, Ingy Iike Mistress Harris...Yes Ingy does." He said fervently, his bright eyes shining before disappearing with a snap of his fingers.

Sinking into the couch, Sakora folded her legs under her holding her cup in her hand. The fireplace had long since gond back to the orange and red flames, and she stared at them for a moment, wondering why those flames reminded her of something important that she had forgotten.

Once again, images of the dreams came to her mind unbidden. The one where the witch was burned at the stake while her husband watched on, a wicked gleam in his eyes and a smug smile on his face as he held the shoulder of the girls lover in his grip forcing him to watch. Sakora shut her eyes tightly to ward off the intense emotions that memory of the dream brought. It didn't seem fair to her that she had to suffer these dreams and emotions that she knew weren't hers.

Sometimes, they burned into her, scarring her and other times they left her with an agony so intense that she couldn't breath. Other times she stayed awake taking pepper up potions, or dreamless sleep because she was too frightened that another one would come.

The one tonight wasn't the worst by far, but it had been a recurring one since as long as she could remember. it scared her far more because of the woman's eyes. The woman, Veleka had the say eyes as her. Violet, with golden specks.

As she looked at the fireplace, she decided she wanted to talk about this with her godmother Rose, a seer. Headmaster Longbottom had told her she could go home sometimes on weekends, when the dreams got too bad.

Sakora still couldn't believe how understanding her headmaster could be but she was grateful for it.

Decision made she went back up to her dorm, and wrote him a note.

Giving it to her white owl, Irony, she went back to the common room.

"2958 Nos ata." She said clearly, throwing the floo powder down.

Seconds later, Sakora glanced around in confusion. Closing her eyes for a second she opened them again, before they widened in somethink akin to horror. This wasn't her home. This was where her last dream took place.

As she gazed at the green grass around her, she couldn't see the beauty in the strong, tall trees or the meadow she was standing by, near the black river. The slight breeze that swayed the trees and flowers creating a clean, sweet smell didn't register. Instead all she saw was blood, and anguish... She saw the woman with the violet and golden flecked eyes that looked so much like her own. Sakora's breath came in short gasps as she watched the scene of her nightmare's unfold before her.

Standing here, near the great oak tree every feeling she had felt in the dream was intensified and her knees gave up, causing her to clutch to the tree trunk to stop her descent.

"Ah," The cry escaped her before she could stop it. Her heartshaped face was twisted up in agony, as she felt a searing pain in her side. Heat flooded her face, and spots danced before her eyes. This time when she started to fall she couldn't catch herself in time, and consicousness fled.