"Nobody's looking at you, Howard," Vince muttered under his breath and started removing his clothes, carefully folding them into a waterproof satchel.
Howard was clutching a plastic bucket to his crotch desperately and trying to look anywhere but at Vince's naked body. This was going quite well until the sun cream came out.
"Vince what are you doing? That's practically pornographic!" he hissed desperately.
"Remind me to loan you some better porn," Vince said, rubbing the cream into his white chest, "I need to look after me skin. Skin cancer just isn't me."
With that he squirted out a handful into his cupped hand and poured it onto Howard's palm.
"Do my back for me yeah?" he asked casually and turned around before receiving an answer.
Howard's throat felt like he'd dry swallowed a handful of sand. He looked from the viscous liquid in his hand to the thin pale back in front of him. He dipped his fingertips into it and started daubing it across Vince's shoulders.
"I'll need more than that," Vince looked over his shoulder at him, "I'll burn bright red and peel for days. Give us some more."
Howard let a small amount spill from his hand to Vince's back and quickly caught the rivulets the started to flow down his spine and across his ribs. He rubbed the cream in with small circular motions of his fingers. Laying his palm flat against Vince's back, he dragged it across and up and down to cover each scrap of exposed skin and then went back to rubbing it in, more confidently and firmly now.
His hands went lower and lower, until the tops of his fingers were brushing off the curve of Vince's surprisingly round buttocks on each downwards circle. Vince hummed contentedly from his supine position on the towel.
"I think that's it," Howard stuttered and dropped his hands.
Vince looked over his shoulder and opened one eye lazily.
"Aren't you going to get your kit off?" he asked, "It is a nudist beach."
"Yeah, about that Vince. You don't think you could have mentioned that when you said you wanted to go to the beach?" Howard said adjusting his bucket and spade (so to speak)
Vince looked vaguely surprised, as though the fact that it was a nudist beach should have been inferred.
"Anyway, I'm not going to take my clothes off in public!" Howard said stubbornly.
"Suit yourself," Vince rolled over onto his back, "I'm not the one who'll get the tan lines."
He opened both eyes and looked at Howard.
"Incidentally, it's a bit of a faux pas getting a stiffy at one of these places," he said, raising an eyebrow.
Howard's hands flew to his crotch.
"How did you know?" he hissed desperately.
"I didn't. I do now though," Vince smirked.
Howard looked set to make a few choice remarks about Vince's general character and overall demeanour, but at that point Vince sat up and kissed the side of his mouth.
"Come on, lets get home and we can have some private naked time," he said and started putting his clothes back on as casually as he'd taken them off.
Howard tried to come up with a cutting response, but gave up and started to repack the beach bag.