Hurrah! The first chapter! Let me just make it clear that my knowledge on the full goings on of Death Note at this point isn't very good, so if some details aren't accurate or are incorrect, please don't flame me for it okay? Besides, this is a fan fiction so I think I should be allowed a little leeway on that, k?

There is a lot of hinted yaoi/shonen ai in this fic so if you don't like then don't read. (But please do – there's an awesome competition you need to know about).

Chapter I

Nakigoe

Light walked to his parents' home that night after L's funeral, unable to bring himself back to the Task Force headquarters where he and L had spent such a long time together. Earlier that day, he was happy that L was gone - even going so far as to shout it out at L's grave, surely making the detective turn in there – but now, he wasn't so sure: with L around, Light's life was exciting; knowing that L was working with Kira himself; knowing that any minute now Light would find out L's real name and kill him.

Besides, the enemies did have some good times together, and Light did enjoy the in-depth discussions that they would sometimes have when their time wasn't spent on the Kira Case or Misa. In fact, some people may even go so far as to call it…

No! Never! That's not what it was like! How could Light even think about having feelings for L?! He and L were just two enemies who got a little close to each other, that's all!

Light felt tears sting at his eyes, and he tried to blink them back, but it was too late – the hot tears spilled down his face, and he had to put his hand on his front door to steady himself. He let the tears flow, and cried, not caring who would see. Then, hearing footsteps walking towards the door from the other side, he quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and face, and stood up straight.

The door opened, and Light's mother, Sachiko Yagami was there, a spoon in one hand, and flour in her hair. A look of utter shock was on her face when she saw Light standing at the door – she had not seen him for months, and when the News had confided yesterday that there had been a death at the Task Force Headquarters, she had feared the worse for her husband and son.

"I-is S-so-soichiro…?" tears were welling up in her eyes, and as Light shook his head, she put her arms around him, crying her heart out with relief. None of her family was the confirmed dead, and that was best piece of news she'd heard all day.

"He's at an ICPO meeting in Tokyo city centre, and he has to report the death to the others."

Sachiko finally let go of her son, and let him walk inside. She was about to close the door when it suddenly flung open and Matsuda fell down onto the floor, a thick paper envelope. His breathing was heavy, as though he'd run a marathon, and his face was a little red as well.

Picking himself off the floor, he gave Light the envelope. It was then another minute before he got his breath back and spoke. "I was going to give you those earlier, but I forgot to, what with the eulogy." Light opened up the envelope, to reveal a collection of thirty or so photographs. He looked at one of them, and quickly put it to the back of the others, feeling his cheeks reddening. Sachiko started shouting at Matsuda, and Light quickly closed the envelope again.

"Eulogy?! You mean there was a funeral?! Who's dead?!"

"Uh...uh...uh…" stammered Matsuda, knowing he'd probably be killed himself if he revealed that L was dead. With the distraction, Light ran upstairs, wanting to look at the photos alone, away from prying eyes.

Opening the door of his room, Light switched his light on, to show that his room had been left exactly the way he'd left it, with just tiny bit of dust on the television screen being the only hint that the room had not been lived in for all these months. He sat on his creaseless bed, and took all of the photos out of the envelope, laying them out carefully so that none overlapped or creased. He then picked each of the photos up in turn and looked at the image, before putting it down and picking up another. After looking at a couple of them, Light realised that they were all pictures of him, L and Misa during the time that him and L were handcuffed together.

The first one Light picked up off the bed, was of when L stole Misa's cake, and Light had punched L as punishment for it. In the picture, L was falling to the ground, with Light falling head first after him.

Another one was of Light and L sitting at the computer, a vacant look of pleasure on their faces. The camera was looking at them from behind the computer, so it was impossible to tell what they were looking at. However, the next picture that Light picked up said otherwise: it was an over-shoulder view of the screen, and showed that they were looking at a huge picture of the J-rock boy band Nightmare. The young men were top naked, and surrounded by enough sweetie wrappers to fill up a mountain on Mars – and that was a lot!

(A/N: One such mountain is about twice the size of Mount Everest. So…how did the cameraman who took the Nightmare picture get a hold of so many wrappers?)

Light remembered how he and L had managed to find the picture: L had decided to have free time on the computer, and had typed in the words "Bubble gum nightmare", due to a dream he'd had only the other night. As soon as the picture was selected, Light just couldn't move from his seat, staring at the picture like a pervert. L was similarly affected, and was half tempted to pull down his trousers.

Slowly putting it down, Light picked up one of him and L strangling each other with their chain. Well, to put it more accurately, the picture was of Light wrapping the chain around L's neck, while Misa tried to pull them apart, tightening the metal even more.

"How dare you show her my magazine?!" Light had shouted at L, "How dare you give her my YH magazine?!"

Light smiled at the memory. It may not have been L's favourite memory, but what had happened afterwards certainly ranked up there.

Light looked at some more pictures, until he finally picked up the one he'd first looked when he was in the hallway: It was a picture of what had happened after the strangling: Light and L were standing top naked, the chain only loosely hanging around L's shoulders. Light had his arm around L's neck, with one hand at L's cheek, and L had his arms around Light's waist, with his hands down the back of Light's trousers. They were kissing with tongues, and pulling each other closer. Light could feel himself go red again as he looked at the picture, feeling himself relive the moment.

Once again, tears welled up in his eyes as he looked closer and closer at L's porcelain white face, knowing that Light would never see or kiss that face again. This time, instead of blinking them back, he let them fall; half hoping he'd drown in them.

The door opened behind him, and Light quickly gathered up the pictures off the sheets and placed them under his bed, getting rid of the evidence. He laid himself suddenly on his stomach, covering his face with his arms, allowing him to cry some more.

"Light? Is that you?" It was a girl's voice, belonging to his sister Sayu's. He heard her soft footsteps move across the floor towards the bed, and felt her hand rest on his shoulder. "What's wrong Light? Why are you so down?" Light watched silently out of the corner of his eye as Sayu smiled at him comfortingly.

When she realised that he wasn't going to answer, her smile faded a little, and she whispered, "I heard on the news what happened at task force HQ… that someone was dead, but that they didn't know whom. I was so worried that it was you or Dad, but when they mentioned something about the person dying in a young man's arms, I was so sure that the young man was you. Mom told me that Dad's OK…" Suddenly, she bust into tears, and Light sat up on the bed and hugged her, letting his little sister drench his blue suit as he cried with her.

"I-I was so-so worried!" she stammered through her tears, not caring that her hair was getting wet as well. "Don't you dare worry me like that!" Light shushed her quietly, trying to calm her as well as him.

"Look at us," Light whispered, "crying like a pair of babies."

"Why? What are you crying about?" At this, Light tried to answer, but couldn't, not without explaining to her about him and L. Suddenly he pushed her off onto the floor, making her fall on her bottom. Crying her eyes out, she ran out of Light's bedroom, no doubt off to tell her mother what Light had done.

Just before Sayu slammed the door, Light saw a glimpse of something shiny in her hand, something rectangular and thin, like a piece of…

Wait. Did he put that photo of him and L kissing under the bed with the others? Did he even put it down on the bed before he collected them up? If he kept it in his hand, and his hands are now empty…

Suddenly, Light threw himself at his wall, and began banging his head against it, cursing his own stupidity. Bang…Bang…Bang…Bang…

Finally, he fell to the floor, crying. "Oh L," he whimpered, "Why did you leave me like this?" His crying was loud, and his shoulders shook with every heaving gasp of breath.

Earlier that day, Light was happy that L was gone, but now… the grief of it was tearing him apart.

And that was chapter one! Let me make sure you know that this is NOT a one shot! Although the title of this story and the content of this chapter makes it seem like it is, there is definitely more chapters to come! I know quite a few of you don't like that L isn't really in this story, but that's the way it's going. The chapter titles will be in Japanese for this fan fic, and for chapter one, Nakigoe means "Cry". For those of you who've read my DN Angel fanfic Kokuyoku no Maigo, you'll know that I did the same thing for the chapter titles as I am doing now for this fanfic.

Please tell me what you think and if there could be some improvement in how it's written or something, just tell me in a review. All flames will be used for toast and applesauce! Please R & R.

SEE YA!!!

COMPETITION TIME!!!!

All you have to do is have a guess at what Light meant by his "YH magazine". The first person to guess right will get a chapter dedicated to them, and probably a new character too! So, in your guess, just add at the end what you would like your new character to be called and what that character is in relation to the other characters. You can even add a brief description of features like hair and eyes, but don't go overboard or too in depth please: everyone else may not want to hear about how your character likes to get touched, or what that character likes to eat for snack-time.

SMALL PRINT (Must be read):

1) Only one guess per person.

2) Having him/her be a detective may be what you want but if you put that the character is a detective, even if you get the competition answer right your character may not get chosen.

3) This competition will not be running forever so please get your reviews in quick, and recommend this story to your friends, so that they can join in.

4) The competition will stop running after 20 reviews or so, or – if a right answer hasn't been given after that – until a right answer is entered.

5) There is no age limit for entrants, but if you give a stupid answer, or you give a stupid sounding character entrant, I'm sorry but they won't be considered as winners.

6) Entries won't be counted if they are illegible.

7) No swearing or rude sounding character names (e.g. Evanna Humpalot, Ben Dover, Pussy Galore).

8) No breaching of copyright laws – The new character's name must NOT be exactly the same as the name of any other book/animanga/TV series character or any other ready-made character in existence, because if I use that name, I will get blamed for breaching of copyright, not you, and I can't be doing with a law suit on my ass.

9) If your character gets chosen, although the original name and any basic description will be kept the same, and you will be notified as the original creator, the character's full development and result in said development will not be up to you, as the character will need to be changed somewhat for plot purposes.

10) And finally, NO FLAMING IF YOU LOSE: I honestly can't be doing with hundreds of hate mail clogging up my account when I could be wasting my time on something more worthwhile than reading about how you've used voodoo to give me bad luck, or how you hate my guts. If you truthfully feel you can't cope with the odds of losing, then don't put yourself in that position.

HAVE FUN!!!!