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"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NINA!!!"
Nina Einstein had never felt more loved; nearly every character that actually had some importance in show ACTUALLY came to celebrate HER birthday.
"Thank you so much, everyone!!" Nina cried, wiping away her tears of joy.
"Now that that's settled," Milly spoke up, "Let's start by opening the presents we all bought for you!"
Reaching into his briefcase (it's a purse, really), Lelouch pulled out a book; it was an extensive catalogue on various kinds of desks and other furniture.
"I really tried to consider what kind of person you are when I decided what to get for you..." Lelouch told her.
"T...Thank you..." Nina replied, a bit disgruntled that she hadn't gotten anything better from the snobby rich pretty boy.
"I bought you a steel desk!!!" Milly interrupted, tossing the large metal contraption right into Nina's face.
"Well, I got you a good ol' wooden desk, straight from California!!!" Kallen exclaimed.
"My desk has a roll of tissue paper in it!!! Because...well...YOU KNOW!!!" Kaguya pointed out.
"MINE HAD PIZZA IN IT FOR YOU...BUT I ATE IT!" C.C. admitted.
"I BROUGHT YOU EUPHEMIA'S PHOTOGRAPH...AND HER TOMBSTONE!!!!" Suzaku roared, holding his majestic present high over everyones' heads.
Surrounded by all of these desks (and a tombstone), Nina finally lost her patience. "I DON'T MASTURBATE ON DESKS ALL DAY, YOU IDIOTS!!!!"
Lelouch, Kallen, C.C. and everyone else in the room gasped in shock. "...You don't?! WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO, THEN?!!"
"I'M A FREAKIN' SCIENTIST!!!"
"TO BE FRANK, WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST BEING A PEST, AND NOT ACTUALLY BEING USEFUL AT ALL BESIDES LOOKING LIKE AN UGLY, PIMPLE-FACED LESBIAN..."
'...I'm using the tombstone first...' Nina decided, stomping out of the room with said tombstone under her arm.