Chapter 1 – It's Hard

Bella's POV.

I was still at the beach when Jacob came to take me home. As soon as I saw that his eyes were all red and puffy, I knew something was wrong.

"What happened? Who is it? Who did Victoria hurt?" I asked hurriedly, dreading the answer.

"No one was hurt by Victoria," Jacob explained, his voice breaking, "It's Harry Clearwater, he's had a heart attack."

"Oh, Jake! Is he okay? Are you okay?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around his big body, trying to comfort him. I could hear his unsteady breathing as I rested my head against his bare, warm chest.

"He's still in hospital, but the doctor's don't think he'll make it." Jacob said in a dull, dead voice. I pulled away from him so I could examine his face. It was full of grief as he looked out at the waves. "Better get you home." He finally said as he took my hand and led me toward the road.

"Where's Charlie? I asked, " If he's at the hospital, I don't want to go home to an empty house." I continued, trying to persuade him to let me stay with him. "Can I stay with you? Please?" I pleaded. The corners of his mouth curled up to form the tiniest of smile.

"Okay. C'mon lets go back to my house" He said, the smile disappearing. Poor Jake. Poor Harry. Poor Charlie. Poor Sue, Leah and Seth, I thought as we walked all the way back to his house.

We arrived at his house and he led me to the lounge. I sat down and he went into the kitchen and came back out with two lemonades in his hands. He passed one to me, opened his and nearly drank the whole thing in one go. He sat the nearly empty can next to mine on the ground.

He turned on the TV and I snuggled into his chest. He was so warm. I could never understand why he would love me but I think I could understand why I could and would love him. In time.

"Jake, I know you love me and I think I could love you too, if you gave me time" I explained as I looked up at his face. He smiled but it didn't touch his eyes.

"I always knew you loved me, you just needed to realize it." He said and bent his head down to kiss the top of my head, "And I know it's hard, but if we do it together, I think we can make this work." He whispered into my hair and held me closer to him. We were watching TV when Sam walked in, pushing Billy in his wheelchair. As soon as I looked at their faces I knew Harry Clearwater had passed away.

"Hey Bella, you had better get home. Even though Charlie is still down at the hospital helping Sue organize everything." Billy said in a dead voice.

"Okay, sure." I agreed, because I understood how much Charlie would need me when he did get home.

"I'll drive you home. Be back soon Dad, Sam." Jake said as I passed him the keys to the Chevy. On the way home Jake was very quiet.

"Don't worry Jake. Everything will be alright." I said in a gentle, comforting tone. Jake just nodded as tears continued to roll down his cheek. I slid over on the seat to hug him. He pulled into my driveway and turned off my loud car. We just sat there, holding each other in the silence. Jake opened his door, so he could get out and go inside with me, but instead of getting out, he slammed the door shut with a snap.

"Vampire!" he growled as my car roared to life. I clung to his arm as he pulled out of my driveway. His hands were shaking as he sharply turned the steering wheel. Then I saw the shiny black Mercedes and I yelled, "Stop!" and Jacob hit the brake pedal quickly.

"What? What is it?" He asked in a worried voice.

"That car ," I said pointing to the Mercedes, "It's Carlisle's car."

"Oh" He said, realizing what I meant. "Okay, lets go in and check who it is together."

"Are you sure Jake?" I asked, looking at his shaking hands. He looked like he was ready to crack.

"Yes, let's go." He said nodding jerkily. We held hands as we walked to the front door. I unlocked it and rested my hand on the door knob. I took a deep breath as I opened the door and turned on the light to see a pixie-like black haired girl standing there, waiting for me.

"Alice!" I squealed in delight as I ran to give her a hug.

"Gee, Bella. Calm down." Alice said in a disapproving tone. I looked up and saw eyes were pitch black instead of their usual tawny brown.

"Sorry." I apologized. I stepped back to hold Jacob's shaking hand, hoping that would comfort him a little. "Alice, this is Jacob." I said . Her eyes narrowed in on our joined hands. I felt blood rush to my face as I blushed.

"What IS he?" she asked me in a quizzical voice.

"What…. What do you mean?" I stammered as I tried to lie. I could still feel Jake shaking next to me.

"Bella, don't even try lying to me," she said putting her hands on her hips, "tell me the truth."

I looked up at Jacob as he said through clenched teeth, "I am a werewolf. Have you got a problem with that?" The expression on Alice's face was hard to read.

"Er, no I am just….surprised." she said and then rounded on me. "You really are a magnet for bad luck." she said.

"Jacob is NOT bad luck."I said hotly, "why would you think that?"

"She probably thinks I'm too dangerous to be around." Jake muttered to me. "I had better get going."

"Okay," I grumbled sadly, "When will I see you again?" I asked, a hint of panic entering my voice.

"Soon. Very soon." He said after he kissed me on the cheek. He went down the hall to the front door and then I turned on Alice.

"So, why are you here?" I asked.

"Well, I have been wanting to come visit for a while but I didn't know when. And then when I was trying to see you, well, I couldn't see anything so I got worried."

"Ed-Edward doesn't know you're here, right?" I stammered, wincing as I said his name.

"No way. He would kill me if he knew I had come here." She said pretending not to notice me wince.

"You can stay here for as long as you want." I said in what I hoped was a persuasive voice.

"I do have a home of my own you know." she said. "But I guess I'll stay here if you want."

So as I made a bed for Alice on the couch (not that she needed it, but for show when Charlie got home), I thought about Jacob. He had only left five minutes ago but I already missed him. It wasn't weird for me to feel like I needed him, but it was weird to feel like I wanted him.

Why was our relationship so confusing? Where we just friends, or more than friends? So many unanswered questions were buzzing around in my head and it made me feel slightly dizzy. As I started to make dinner, I could feel Alice's penetrating stare on the back of my neck so I turned around to face her.

"What's wrong Bella?" she asked me. I sighed as I sat down on the chair next to her and launched into the long story,

"Well it all started when you guys left…"