CAN YOU SPARE ME A BR…: BONUS FEATURE
SEAL OF THE NOODIFIED REPUPLIC OF CHINA
The Russian National anthem plays… for some strange reason. Noodified Master Shifu, Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five bow down at your arrival. The Emperor of China himself enters upon your presence.
"Welcome stranger to the Land of Smiles…" Poppin welcomed with a smile.
The Forbidden Palace went silent with everyone looking at each other with blank stares.
"Sorry Thailand. Hmmm… I guess I'm gonna have to make a better theme."
Poppin Fresh as Poppin Bury
"When I first heard of the role, I was really excited. I was given a chance to play something else other than being just Poppin Fresh. I've been a cookie mascot for how many years now…
[Slide show of Poppin Fresh on being the mascot of Pillsbury]
… what about being a noodle mascot huh? Anyway, I'm still the cookie mascot no matter what."
"Poppin Bury was really different. It expressed a different side of me. Yes, sure, he is still all smiles but it's with a twist you know. There was a sense of darkness within. In fact, he kind'a reminded me of the Joker. I just like that, don't you?"
Getting in to the Poppin Bury Persona
"I dunno. I loved the role and all. Believe me. But I found it very hard to get into character somehow. I felt my kind of happy expression wasn't like the happy expression the fic wanted me to be. I had a personal trainer who trained me everyday just to get me into character. It took a few weeks, but I was able to get it."
"I think I nailed it right. When I saw my performance, I realized how well it turned out. I commemorate this performance to my friend Heath Ledger, who also taught me what he knew in getting into character as the evil Poppin Bury."
[Shows photoshopped picture of Poppin Fresh and Heath Ledger sitting side by side in a picture taken in 2006]
Beyond the ending
Poppin goes to the balcony and shows you the kingdom. "This is the Noodified Empire of China. Population… well I'm don't remember but it is the densest empire in the world. Demographics… 100% Chinese noodle minions ranging in a variety of animals such as red pandas, giant pandas, cranes, vipers, tigers, monkeys, snow leopards, wolves, foxes, etc."
"If you ask about the newborns, yes, we have to take their brains out for the noodification to complete. It's convenient now, I don't have to go the villages to noodify them. Do you know how hard it is to noodify babies when thousands are born every day in all parts of Noodified China. Now, we have local noodified doctor that does the job perfectly."
The cast
"About that… you see, the casts are not coming back. They're already noodified and it really is irreversible. I've probably noodified all the main characters of Kung Fu Panda… except Master Oogway. He's dead to begin with…
"Iceberg! Right ahead!" The watchman or watch otter yelled.
The Titanic suddenly slowly turns to starboard slowly but eventually hits the iceberg. Captain Oogway slowly steers the ship when he noticed the big iceberg right in front of him. "Hmmm… didn't see that coming."
… yeah… or maybe his spirit lurks elsewhere."
Mei Ling wasn't noodified
"Really? I must be off. Can you stay here for a while? I will be back for the rest of the interview."
PLEASE STANDBY…
"Okay, now we're back. I've got someone special for you. Please welcome our new addition. She is one of the finest warriors in all of Noodified China. Meet Mei Ling, our newest noodle minion. So Mei Ling, how does it feel to be noodified?"
Mei Ling, wearing a familiar hat, made an awkward smile. "It's swell." She said creepily.
What's Next For Poppin Fresh
"Rule Noodified China for as long as I live. Did you know noodles symbolizes long life? It's true you know."
"Anyway, I'm working on a new cookie. It's noodle-flavoured."
Farewell
"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed your stay in Noodified China. Now, I'm going to give you a ten minute head start to leave Noodified China before I noodify you." Poppin closes the main door of the Forbidden Palace.
THE END
Disclaimer: Poppin Bury is based on the dough boy of Pillsbury, Poppin Fresh. I don't own him, but I would definitely love to eat him. This fanfiction does not intend to steal the theme "Land of Smiles" from Thailand. This fanfiction does not intend to show malice to the Russian Anthem. This bonus feature is intended for the additional enjoyment of the viewer.