Conflict
Written for the prompt - Supernatural, Mary, conflict
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No matter what anyone might think, Mary had never forgotten the warning. She'd always remembered that he told her not to go into the nursery that night.
She didn't know who he was then, but as her eldest boy grows she knows. She can't imagine how, probably would rather not know how he did it, how he traveled back in time to give her that warning.
She wondered for a while if he loved his brother so little, that he thought nothing of sacrificing him, but she's watched her Dean and she cannot believe that of him. She could not ask for anything more of him than he is willing to give, her little angel.
Years down the line and she knows. She ignored the warning . . . she thought twice, there was a moment's hesitation, a moment when she almost heeded Dean's warnings but she can't do that, she can't sacrifice her baby. Her life is nothing next to that of her baby boy.
She made the sacrifice willingly, but still she wondered why Dean had asked her not to do that. Did he truly believe there was anyway they could all have survived that night?
Sam is the one who brought them back to Lawrence, Sam who shines brightly like a flame, strong and determined. He grew tall, her baby boy, she wishes she could hold him close. Her gaze settles on Dean and she sees what she couldn't when she was alive, he's broken, damaged. He's put every ounce of his being into protecting his brother, his family and all it's done is leave him bereft. She can read how he still believes she should have survived and how much it hurts to be here again. She can feel his memories on the surface roiling and twisting and pulling him apart.
She wonders again whether she did the right thing. It's her fault her son is broken like this. If she'd listened, would Sammy have survived and grown strong like this? Would Dean have been whole?
It's a conflict she can turn over and over for an eternity. It's a conflict she'll never have an answer for.