Forgiveness
Hope Romagnoli
I stared out at the field that lay below me, watching the wind blow against the lush green grass and white mounds that lay adorning the land. Frustration, anger, and guilt welled up inside me as my eyes scanned the sight that was the memorial of soldiers, just white tombstone after white tombstone, stretching as far as the eye could see over the field and up the hill I now stood upon. Why was I angry and feeling guilty for these men? The tombstones were dating back to the sixteenth century and past' no one would be alive to even remember who these men had been; but I did. I remembered every single one of them, and I was guilty of their deaths. It was my fault. I turned my eyes away from the sight, but in my heart I knew I was still looking at the slabs.
I wanted to turn and run away, screaming to the world that their deaths were mistakes, that I was not to blame. But I was. I was their country. An immortal being that lives on to service my people… I had been young at the time. People make mistakes. But I am not people, I reminded myself, I am country, something that lasted forever until the empire that was mine would crumble and I would vanish like no one had ever been standing there; no I was definitely not people or human for that matter. I turned my eyes back to the stones. They were still there, staring up at me and I wondered if any of those men down in the cold earth below my feet hated me. I felt my stomach turn at the thought; I didn't want them to hate me but it was my fault. I had been a younger nation back then, more foolish and thought that my strength would last forever, no… I had been running away from this moment for too long.
My breath was held tight within my chest as my feet timidly made their way down the lush green slope, the soft sound of pasture rustling as I seemed almost to glide down the hill. I paused in front of one of the stones, a white one just like the rest, just like that hundreds of others that lay down in this crevasse. Like one of America's rollercoaster's, my guts did loop-dee-loops and upside down spins, making the world twist before my very eyes. I adjusted the half spectacle glasses that rested on the tip of my nose, steadying myself for what was to come. The breath that I held tight to me was released, the light gray cloud forming just in front of my lips; I could do this. Ever so gingerly I reached my gloved hand out and placed it on the tomb, flinching a little as I did so. Even with the leather I could still feel the cracks in the rock and iciness of its make. I could still run away I reminded myself but the thought was immediately pushed aside, I would no longer be a coward; I owed this to them.
"I…" the word was horse and cracked when it finally spilled from my mouth. I was surprised it was even mine. "It's me… Austria." I pause. He hadn't known me by that name so why should I use it now? "I mean… Roderich." There was silence all about me aside the wind that blew between the graves. I had never been good at this. My pride was horrid- not making this easy because of the guilt. Guilt and pride were nasty things to have locked inside you for centuries at times. "I wanted…. It's long overdue but I wanted to…" I pause again. I knew this was going to be hard when I had first set out to come here- but trying to get the words out from inside me was worse then I had though- getting here and been tortured all by its self! "I-I'm S-sorry… I'm so sorry and I should have said this sooner. I'm sorry." I felt my legs wobbly unsteady beneath me and within seconds I was now eye level with the name marked upon the tomb, the word 'sorry' continuing to spill from my lips until the dark of night….
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"
I wrote this along time ago in the middle of the year for school. We had to write something in... first? ... person and I'm horrible at that because it WAS supposed to be ABOUT ME- but I'm just horrible at real life writting... don't know why.
So I asked Mrs. Green if I could do this- and she said yes!!!
So that made me happy (and I got a pretty good grade for this. XD )
The reason I wrote about this though was because I was browsing DA for some inspiration to write and what came to mind was o0hotaru-chan0o photoshoot in her Austria cosplay in front of tombstones. (LINK HERE- .com/art/100theme-APH-28-131513729 )
Very beautiful picture really...
She's an awesome cosplayer and does one hell of an Austria!!
...
Hope you all liked it