A/N this is a parody and not to be taken seriously.
Hey y'all my names Bertha Fatterson and I'm the cuuuuuuuurviest girl in District 10. All those other anorexic sluts wish they had my body. At 5'1 and 3800000000 lbs, I was the perfect 3400-5200-6900.
At the reaping I waited for the skinny slut escort to pull out a name.
"Bertha Fatterson!"
"Oh my gawd! I won!" I wobbled up to the stage to shake my district partner's hand.
As I oozed closer, he shrank back. "Uh no offense, but you're kinda f-"
"WHAT?! YOU DID NOT INSULT MUH CUUURVES!" Then the stage collapsed. Stupid stage, it obviously wasn't built for real women like me.
On the train ride, I was so hurt I ate everything in sight. Including my partner and escort. Oh well.
I continued to eat all the way up to training. We had to get weighed but when I got on the scale it kept going, and going and going.
"Hey, that's my phone number!" the Gamemakers said.
Then the fat shaming trainers tried to convince me to put down my food.
"BUT I HAVE CUNDISHUNS, I GOTS TO EAT TO KEEP MUH SHUGAHS UP CAUSE I GOT THE BEETUS."
I tried to get on an elliptical but it crashed before I even started.
"WUT?! THIS IS DISCRIMINASHUN!" I howled, stomping my feet and causing an earthquake. I could feel some of the anorexic tributes being sucked into my gravitational pull.
"STOP OPPRESSING MUH!"
Sobbing, I waddled to my room past the TV that the escort was watching.
"Hey, you made me miss 3 episodes!" she cried.
I flung myself on my bed, where it crashed down several floors until I ended up in the District 4 apartment. I found myself swimming in the aquarium. Suddenly, the whales started singing 'we are family!'
"STOP FATSHAMING ME!" I cried.
At this point I couldn't wait till I could finally get into the arena and end it all.
"Sorry, but this year's Hunger Games has been postponed until Bertha Fatterson's headshot can finish printing. They will probably not resume in any of our lifetimes, so everyone can go home. Ta ta."
THE END
A/N Please read and review!