Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again
Marie sat in her room, after a large fight had broke out between her brother and basically everyone else. Everyone was trying to explain the same thing just using different words coming from their own mouth. She Sat on her bed, hugging her knees, feeling ready to crack at any moment of the day. Everyone thought she was just needing 'alone time'; little did they know the truth running through her severely unstable mind.
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
She hated this. It was like this seemingly everyday of her life. Every battle in life affected her mentally and it seemed as if those battles were pointed right at her. She had no sign above her directing them all her way. She realized a long time ago she was confused about her current 'reality'. She laid her head down on her knees, misery engulfing her mind.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
Everything was too hard. She just wanted it to stop. She wanted her reality to quit existing. She didn't care how, she just wanted it. Everyone yelled, throwing out insults, just making her mind, unknowingly, worse. Little did they know the girl they were making over the years with each curse word thrown and screamed. She stood up, going over to her dresser, opening up one of the drawers slowly and quietly. She grasped an object, one promising to make all the pain disappear, forever.
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
She sat down, again, staring at the shiny metal, seeing her own reflection staring back at her. She grasped it tighter, the anger and sadness slow leaving her body; numbness replacing her being.
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
She went to the front door, locking it, never to be opened until dawn. She hurt inside; a hurt she never wanted to ever bare. It seemed to have doubled worse than the day before, everyday. She seemed out of options. She breathed in and out, trying to calm down her heart-beat. Nothing could change her mind now.
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused
She had the same feelings as earlier, and everyday before. Soon, she hoped those feelings would slowly disappear, with her own sanity following after them.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
She went to each door and window, locking them tight, clutching her plastic and metal friend in her right hand. She walked back to the living room, seeing one body sleeping peacefully on the sofa, meaning her parents were asleep upstairs now.
I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
She raised her knife up, hovering over the flesh, soon to be met with the warm, softness. She never wanted this. She seen no other way out now. She would make them pay. Pay for her years of suffering. She'd paint the walls with their blood, covering their sins, forever. She brought the knife down, plunging into her brother, his eyes opening widely, seeing her blackened eyes staring at him, emotionless. "M-Marie? AH!!!" She stab him a total of ten times, each one deeper than the next. Each stab killed a piece of herself to the brink of nothingness inside. She had blood on her face, arms, and splatters on her clothes; her brother's blood. She took the knife from him, putting it to her side, turning around, slowly. Her parents were deep sleepers, so they wouldn't of heard a thing. She turned towards the stairs, taking each one slow. Only creaks could be heard
throughout the house, as she stopped at her parents' room.
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
She soon looked over her bloody parents' corpses, knowing she'd be found out soon. She placed the knife on the bed, then leaned over too each parent, "I love you guys, forever." And she kissed each on the cheek, proceeding to her room, under the covers. Her pain was gone. The ones that caused it were gone now, to a better place. One of no fighting. She smiled, then spoke to the darkness around her, "Good night."
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
tonight.
I'm not exactly sure where this one came from. I base none of this story on my life. I was angry at the time I wrote it and I wrote what I felt. But I hope at least one person enjoyed it out there. Well, so long until later on!
