Disclaimer: I owneth not Harry Potter and all its characters involved nor do I own the idea of Roses by Moonlight.
A/N: Written on a random whim and lazily put together. Inspired by "Roses by Moonlight" by Patricia C. Wrede in Book of Enchantments. Although it was not my favourite story in the book (I preferred "Cruel Sisters") it was still a touching story.
Warnings: none really
This fanfiction is not to be reproduced, translated, or copied without the express permission of the author
Even from the park where Sirius stood, he could still hear the music coming from inside the house. It drifted over to his ears, the music of the live orchestra. It was the exact music that Sirius had always hated, waltzing and elegant. He much preferred the Weird Sisters or some other uncouth band as his mother had put it. However, it wasn't his place to criticize, at least not tonight. The family was celebrating the fourteenth birthday of his lovely little brother, Regulus and it was the exact music that Regulus loved.
Figures they'd have a live orchestra for him. It was just like his family to flaunt their love for their younger son while the elder stood outside, alone and staring at the night sky. His motorbike was chained to the ground; he was being punished for some slight or the other again. He could hear the sounds of laughter coming from the inside of the house. The ancestral home of the Blacks was already draped in emerald and silver, enchanted orbs of the Slytherin colours hung in the air, floating around wistfully. Fairies danced around the gardens, diving in and out of windows. It would have been a beautiful scene if Sirius did not loathe it so much.
A couple of more weeks and he would be out of there. He would never have to return ever again. Sirius smiled at the thought, thinking about his friends who would be waiting for him in Godric's Hollow.
A refined laugh snapped him out of his thoughts. It was Regulus's voice, in conversation with cousin Narcissa. Sirius started thinking about his brother. Regulus was the exact type of person everyone adored, especially his family. He always knew what to say to keep everyone happy. It didn't help that he could look excruciatingly adorable when he wanted to, something Sirius had always resented him for. Everything seemed to work for the little boy, treasured from the day he was born, always cuter and more sensible than the older of the Blacks. He was the pride of the family, saying and doing exactly what was expected of him. Handsome, strong, clever, talented Little King of Slytherin while Sirius wore the crimson pride of Gryffindor. Sirius smiled at the thought. It wasn't that Sirius hated Regulus, he just disliked him, strongly. He would never admit it but in his heart, he felt envious of the younger Black.
The music suddenly got louder as a bright light fell on Sirius. He heard footsteps walk out onto the lawn and stop. He didn't bother getting up. If whoever came out was looking for him, then let them look. He had no obligation to make himself known. After a moment, the footsteps started travelling towards him, obviously finding the object of their search. Sirius's view of the sky became partially blocked by the hem of emerald and black dress robes and the strong scent of butterbeer.
"Sirius?" The uncertain voice called, crouching down.
He had a full view of Regulus now. Black hair framed the young boy's face as he looked down at him, grey eyes matching the exact colour of the waxing moon. His skin seemed to glow with happiness from his own party and the creases of laughter at his eyes had not quite died from the boy's face.
"What do you want, Regulus?" Sirius demanded, eyes still focused intently on the moon.
Regulus frowned, "Won't you come in? They're going to cut the cake soon." He looked pleadingly at Sirius, mustering up his adorable expression.
Sirius frowned and closed his eyes. He didn't want to be swayed by the walking ball of cuteness. "I don't want it." It was a lie and Regulus knew it. He never could resist sweets.
"Please Sirius? I'll tell mum to stop the music, I know how much you hate it." He could just see Regulus now, hands clasped together.
Damn, fourteen years old and still as adorable as when he was four. Sirius thought to himself, feeling his heart soften a little, before replying, "It's okay, you go back and open your presents. I'll be there in a minute." He said, trying to sound nonchalant. He reached up and brushed a strand of hair from his brother's eyes, gazing reassuringly into the grey orbs. "Don't worry about me. Go enjoy yourself."
"Alright," Regulus had to be content with that answer. "I'll tell mum to save you a piece of cake." He turned reluctantly and left, clearing the view of the sky again. Sirius gazed up and saw the constellation Leo. He tried to avoid it but his eyes were drawn to the heart of the lion, where he knew the star Regulus would be.
Regulus was still the one that can grab everyone's hearts with a single expression. He hated that about him. He hated how much his parents did for the little brat. It wasn't fair, he knew, it wasn't Regulus's fault he just had to be born adorable. It wasn't Regulus's fault that Sirius decided to go against everything his parents believed in but still. As the sound of music wafted over towards where Sirius lied, half drowned out by the sound of voices, laughter and delight. It wasn't hard to find resentment for Regulus. It flared up with passion when he heard Regulus exclaim, "Wow, Uncle Cygnus, the new Nimbus!" with a round of congratulations directed towards Regulus. Sirius winced, wishing he was the one receiving all those presents. He forced himself to look away from the constellation Leo and find the star Sirius, the brightest in the sky.
As he stared at the star of his own namesake, a soft crunch could be heard approaching him. He closed his eyes, feeling, rather than seeing the robes rustle the grass beside him. "Reg, I told you, I'm coming later."
A low chuckle emitted from the figure standing in the grass, "Sirius, you really have to learn to read footsteps."
Sirius opened one lazy eye, "Uncle Alphard?"
Alphard smiled down at Sirius, "And how is my favourite nephew?"
"Why aren't you at the party?" Sirius asked, gazing up at his uncle. Like the rest of the Blacks, Uncle Alphard inherited the black hair, grey eyes and haughty handsome features. Unlike the rest of the Blacks, however, Uncle Alphard's eyes were creased with laughter and a permanent smile was always attached to his features. He was Sirius's favourite by far.
"I thought my other nephew needed a bit more love." Uncle Alphard said and held out a hand to help Sirius up. "How're you feeling Sirius?"
Sirius took it gladly. He stood up and turned away from the moon, staring at the illuminated features of his uncle, "What do you mean? I'm just fine." He said.
Uncle Alphard was still smiling but a glimmer of sadness now touched his eyes, "Listen Sirius, the decision you're about to make tonight will affect you forever."
For a moment Sirius thought Uncle Alphard knew about his plans to run away but reflected. He couldn't have. Sirius had sent no owls and received none. It was already planned out and they didn't want to risk anything to give it away. He looked at Uncle Alphard, confused.
"I was an idiot, too young and naïve. I chose what I thought I wanted then. I was wrong. You'll see." Alphard said enigmatically.
Sirius was going to ask Uncle Alphard to explain but a small crack indicated someone had apparated near them. He frowned, turning to see the figure. It was a woman dressed all in white, with cropped white hair and lines on her face. Her eyes were infinitely dark and wise, Sirius was afraid to look into them.
The woman's voice was cool and detached as she turned to Alphard, "Is this the one?"
Uncle Alphard nodded, "Sirius, this is Madame Seymour. Madame Seymour, my nephew, Sirius Black."
The woman scrutinized Sirius for a moment and Sirius felt himself shrink under her immeasurable gaze. He squirmed, looking at Uncle Alphard for affirmation. A moment of silence passed and the woman nodded, "Follow me." She said simply.
Sirius was compelled to follow, listen to her every direction. He didn't know where they were going, indeed the roads of London seemed to twist and curve unexpectedly. Soon, the curious figure of Uncle Alphard had disappeared behind the corner as they continued to traverse the roads of London. Then, abruptly, the woman turned into a dark trail and disappeared. Sirius had to jog a bit to keep up. Eventually, they ended up in a sweet-smelling garden. The woman had stopped and was gazing at Sirius. Sirius looked around, it was a giant garden crammed with every type, shape, and colour of rose. Each of them seemed to emit a unique scent so that the scents were altogether fascinating. He looked at the woman uncertainly but she nodded at him, "Go ahead and give them a sniff."
Tentatively, Sirius walked towards a plump, red rose and bent over, breathing in the scent of the flower.
-
It hurt, everything hurt and Sirius didn't know why. He tried to move but couldn't lift a finger. The pain was excruciating and Sirius wasn't sure how much he could bear. Then, he heard voices, through tears. He identified one of them as Prongs.
"It was so stupid of him, why did he have to go?"
"I don't know James." Remus's voice said darkly.
"The motorbike was being strange for weeks; I thought he had fixed it." Was James crying? Why was he crying?
And then, another voice: "Sirius…Siri, please wake up," The voice was soft, pleading. He felt a tear fall on his cheek and wanted to wipe it away but he couldn't move. The pain was engulfing him. Regulus was crying, on him, for him.
"He never was careful on his motorbike." Remus's voice was cracking. "Oh god," Sobs replaced Remus's words.
"But he will be okay, right?" Was that Peter? "He won't… you know…" Peter's voice broke.
"I'm sorry," A voice he didn't recognize spoke, "He… may not be able to wake up again."
A piercing shriek and more teardrops fell onto his cheek. The pain was so intense now that it burst forward in a wave of great anguish.
"Sirius! Please don't leave me! Don't leave, I love you!"
-
Sirius jerked up with a start and looked around. He was back in the rose garden. Madame Seymour was gazing at him with a soft expression, eyes still scrutinizing him.
"What the hell was that?" Sirius demanded, glaring at the woman.
"It is your future. At least, what may lie in your future, if you follow that path." The woman explained. "Pick your rose, Black, and pick carefully."
Sirius turned and gazed in horror at the roses. He had never taken Divination seriously but this was such a strange branch of magic he never knew existed. He looked at that woman, "Who are you?"
"Madame Seymour," She said simply, "Divinator of Time."
"And the rose I pick will be my future?" Sirius asked, "How long do I have?"
"The rose you pick, you will meet sometime in your future, yes." The woman said, "You have all the time you need. Go on, sniff another one."
Sirius turned, shrugging. He hoped the next rose wasn't going to be as horrid of a future. He bent down to a rose beside the first one and sniffed.
-
"Dad!" Two black haired boys ran towards him, eyes twinkling and grey. Sirius looked around. He was back in Grimmauld Place. A beautiful woman sat next to him, sipping tea and gazing indulgently at the young boys playing in the garden. A house elf stood near him, younger than Kreacher.
"Master and Mistress," The house elf said, " Master Regulus and Mistress Calliope send word that they will be here shortly."
"Of course," The woman said, apparently not seeing anything amiss. "Sirius, dear, let's send for tea. Your brother's family will be here soon."
Sirius flinched and nodded curtly. He was still trying to process the scene. So the woman must be his wife, a pureblood no doubt and the young boys must be his sons. It was obvious; they had the haughty good looks of a Black. He had inherited Grimmauld Place from his parents and was now the head of the Blacks. Regulus must be on speaking terms with him. He wondered what happened to get him back in good terms with the family again.
A moment later, the house elf returned, followed by a striking man wearing an expensive cloak and an attractive woman. He recognized the man immediately as the twenty-something version of Regulus and the woman must be his wife.
"Sirius, how're you?" The greeting was warm but Sirius could not help but hear the detached tone in the voice.
"Fine," Sirius said, wanting to ask him so many questions.
Regulus nodded, "How's work for the Dark Lord? I heard Germany has been presenting a bit of a fight for Him." It seemed like a normal point of conversation and Sirius suddenly knew how he came back with the family. A Death Eater's mask was lying carelessly on the grass, being picked up and fiddled by the young boys. He lifted his sleeve quickly and saw, to his horror, the Dark Mark burned into his skin. He had seen enough.
-
Sirius swore under his breath, it would've been a great future… except for the major flaw. He didn't turn to the woman this time but pressed on.
-
There was a grave.
Sirius stood in front of it, dressed all in black. He held a wreath of lilies in his hand as he looked down at the tombstone. A comforting hand lay on his shoulder and he looked up, Uncle Alphard had tears glistening from his eyes and Sirius realized that he too was crying.
He reached up to wipe the tears from his eyes so he could see the tombstone better.
Here Lies
Regulus Arcturus Black
1961-1977
Bile rose in Sirius's throat as he read the words. Regulus Black, dear Reg. his Reggie, his little brother, died. He swallowed hard and new tears fell down his cheeks. He knelt down, dropping the flowers, and laid prostrate upon the tomb. "Reg!" He screamed, almost able to see Regulus appear from behind the tomb stone, screaming "Surprise!" and assuring him everything was alright.
"Come on, lad," Uncle Alphard urged although his tone implied that he didn't really expect Sirius to give up so easily.
"Why? Why did he die? He was only sixteen!" Sirius cried at his uncle. "It's unfair!"
Uncle Alphard looked at Sirius, a look of pity mingled with pain crossed his face as he drew Sirius up. "I know, Sirius. Death takes the best of us."
The world seemed a much darker place now that Regulus was gone. He was the only child now, the only heir to the Black family. Regulus, the better son, the golden boy, was gone forever. "How… how did he die?"
Uncle Alphard didn't seem surprised by the question. He hesitated for a moment before saying softly, "The Dark Lord."
Sirius let out a long sharp scream, crying into the night.
-
"Aren't there any happy futures?" Sirius demanded, having enough of the pain and suffering the larger flowers contained.
"Look beyond," The woman said simply, nodding towards the flowers in the back.
Sirius waded in between the roses, "These futures, they all have a possibility, don't they?"
"Each of the future has a chance of occurring. You are merely choosing the one you desire." The woman answered, voice barely a whisper yet carried across to Sirius.
Sirius walked around, sniffing roses at random. Some of them contained happy thoughts. Him taking his children over to James's place for afternoon Quidditch, the death of the Dark Lord and subsequent imprisonment of all the Death Eaters, running away from his parents on his motorbike, laughing into the night air. Sirius's hand twitched at all these futures but drew back and pressed on.
Some of them were outrageous, Sirius would never have predicted such a future if it wasn't for the rose. He was the lead singer of a famous wizard band. He found out his first child is a squib. He was living in a cave, being pursued by Dementors. He paused at the lead singer one but moved on, searching specific future yet not knowing what he really wanted.
Many were tempting but something was missing from them. Regulus. He could not find a trace of his brother anywhere in those futures. He was not satisfied. Still, he pressed on.
"I can only pick one?" It would make selection so much easier if he could pick more.
However, Madame Seymour said, "You only have one future."
"But they're random segments in time!" Sirius argued, looking with longing at the one with James and his children playing.
"Yes, but a specific set of events will trigger that moment in time. They may contradict each other, creating conflict in the rift of time."
"Wouldn't choosing my future conflict it?"
"As I said, all futures could potentially happen. The roses just give you a notice, of sorts." The woman sounded slightly exasperated but answered with grace.
Sirius nodded and continued to sniff the roses. He would be a teacher at Hogwarts, an esteemed auror, the Minister for Magic (!), even conductor of the Knight Bus. Some of them made him chuckle, others wince. One future, however, particularly stuck to him.
-
Sirius stood in the midst of a great battle, laughing and shooting jinxes at a Death Eater. Finally, a stunning spell hit him and he fell over, another one came in to take its place. All around him, similar battles raged on. He could see Prongs body bind a Death Eater and grinning at Sirius. On the other side, he saw Moony repel a spell with so much force that the Death Eater was slammed against a wall and slumped down. "Nice one, Moony!" He called as he shot spells after spells at his particular Death Eater. He heard Remus laugh as another Death Eater matched up with him.
It took no time at all for Sirius to finish off this Death Eater, his mask sliding off his face to reveal a Slytherin boy he knew was a year below him. He felt disgusted. Turning away from the young boy slouched on the ground; he looked around for another Death Eater to battle. Everyone was taken.
"Stupefy!" Dedalus Diggle slumped down on the ground, unconscious.
Sirius turned to see the caster of the spell, intent on taking Diggle's place. If this Death Eater had managed to stun Diggle, he would be an interesting fight. Not only that, most Death Eaters were shooting the green jets of the killing curse, only this one kept on Stunning people instead.
The Death Eater turned towards Sirius, wand raised, ready for battle. Then, upon seeing Sirius's face, the Death Eater faltered and stepped back. Sirius raised an eyebrow at him and pointed his wand. A killing curse shot by and illuminated the mask on the Death Eater's face. Grey eyes, black hair, pale skin.
Regulus Black
Sirius faltered as he gazed into the eyes of his brother through the slits of the mask. They were eyes that had seen lifetimes of pain since the party. Cold and pleading, begging Sirius not to judge him, eyes wise beyond their years. They were so painful to stare into yet Sirius could not tear away.
"Sirius," Regulus said, in the same tone he used at the party, pleading with him.
Sirius shook his head, "Regulus." He took a tentative step towards his brother, wanting to pull him into an embrace. He could not stand those eyes and knew that however much he was hurting, Regulus's suffering was doubled. But then, he remembered the mask and remembered what he was supposed to be fighting for. Regulus seemed to have the same thought as they both stared at each other one last time before turning to find other opponents.
-
Sirius rose with a shudder. He hoped that those features would never mark brother's eyes. Sirius walked around the various rosebushes. Strangely, no thorns hurt him and no petals fell. He gazed around, sniffing a rose here and there, none of them satisfactory.
He wasn't sure what would satisfy him, but certainly not Regulus becoming a Death Eater. He wanted something to happen between him and his brother but he still wasn't sure what it was he actually wanted. It seemed that all the roses in the garden were sniffed. He searched the bushes for a rose that he had not found yet. Was there no hope between him and Regulus?
And then he saw it. A little bud of a pink rose, barely opened and hardly a rose, on an obscure bush hidden by the fences. He turned towards the woman, she nodded, and he headed off to it and gave it a sniff.
-
"Sirius, let's talk." Regulus was older, his face losing the childish wide eyes and becoming more angular. He didn't know how old Regulus was but saw that they were both still wearing their Hogwarts robes.
"Sit down," Sirius said, patting the ground beside him. It was night and Sirius had been sitting out on the lawn, stargazing. Regulus walked over slowly, obviously relieved, and took a seat beside Sirius. An emerald and silver prefect badge caught the light and gleamed. Sirius rolled his eyes, he wouldn't have expected anything less from the little King.
"So what's up?" Sirius asked, trying to sound as light as possible.
"You're graduating in two days." Regulus said slowly, "Have you thought about what you're going to do?"
Sirius realized that it was his seventh year and Regulus's fifth. Then he must've already run away from home, if everything went well. That was probably the reason Regulus was hesitant about talking to him. He wondered how long it's been since they've talked. "I'm joining the Order and fighting Voldemort, of course."
Regulus jumped at the name, "Of course, I wouldn't have expected anything less."
"What about you Reg, what're you going to do?"
Regulus hesitated, "I don't know, I suppose it all depends on my OWLs doesn't it?"
There was something Regulus was not telling him, but Sirius decided to let it slide. He wanted to know the real reason Regulus sought him out.
There was a silence as a breeze stirred the waters of the lake, a distant flop could be heard, probably the Giant Squid. It was a serene and warm night, disturbed slightly by the occasional breeze. The moon was gone from the sky but in its place shined millions of bright stars. Sirius gazed at them and pointed, "Look, the brightest star, it's Sirius." He turned to Regulus, smiling kindly.
Regulus looked skyward, eyes glittering from the reflections of the stars, "Didn't you hate Astronomy?"
Sirius laughed at this, "Not when it has to do with me." He looked at the sky again and traced his finger down several inches, "And there's Regulus, heart of the lion." Sirius said, a hint of pride in his voice.
"You say it like I'm in Gryffindor." Regulus smiled at Sirius for the first time. "You should have been named Regulus, you were destined for Gryffindor."
Sirius tried not to let his pleasure at the comment show on his face, "I don't think I'd be able to put up with a stupid name like Reggie."
Regulus rolled his eyes and continued to look at the stars. Silence fell between them again but not awkward this time. Both of them stared at the stars in unison.
"…I've always envied you, you know." Regulus said, voice so low that Sirius almost didn't catch it.
"Why would you envy me, Reg?" Sirius was surprised; he was the one that had always envied Regulus.
Regulus hesitated, "You're so popular and smart." He sighed, "…and so brave to stand up to our family. I don't think I'll ever have the courage." He turned and stared at Sirius wryly.
"Regulus, don't be ridiculous." Sirius said honestly, "I've always envied you."
Regulus looked at Sirius with a jerk, "Why? I'm nothing compared to you."
"Don't ever think that. It would be unfair to both of us." Sirius reached up to ruffle Regulus's hair, "You're wonderful, Regulus. You have no idea."
"I don't want us to fight. We've never got along too well, not since… I don't want us to fight anymore." Regulus said, "Let's talk it out, okay?"
"Of course," Sirius assured him, of course they would talk it out. They should have talked it out ages ago.
"I'm glad, Sirius."
-
Sirius stood up and looked at the tiny flower. He reached towards it, intending on picking it up. It was just the future Sirius had been waiting for. A mutual understanding between the two, that was the most important. It didn't matter if they weren't on good terms. They had to listen to each other and talk, just talk about all the things they've missed out on. His finger caressed the rosebud, contemplating whether to pick it or not. It was something he desperately needed, to talk to Regulus. But then…
"This future, if I pick this one… then all the others would be lost, wouldn't they?"
Madame Seymour nodded, "They will be less likely, yes, to the point of obsolete."
"My future will be the rose?"
"Each rose shows a pivotal point or summarization of a life you could potentially lead," she said.
Sirius nodded, "But if I never came here, these futures might've happened anyways, right?"
"Each future is possible." Her voice was cool as she said those words, strangely detached.
Sirius had another question, "I can never come back?"
"You will never find this place again."
Sirius looked down at the rosebud, frowning in thought. "I won't… have all?"
The woman shook her head, "One rose renders the rest gone." She was now studying Sirius again, eyes narrowed slightly, as if knowing which one he would soon pick. Sirius shuddered under her scrutiny. Her eyes were so black and unfathomable that it was easy to get lost in them.
He turned back to the rose, looking at it for a moment. He reached down to pinch it, hands shaking slightly. It was his decision now. He would pick the rose and all would soon be right between them. Regulus and Sirius would be proper brothers again. But he remembered Uncle Alphard's warning. It will affect you forever…
"Then, I think I'll leave it as it is."
The woman nodded her understanding, "You are the first person to make such a decision." Her voice betrayed no emotion, "Perhaps you are the wisest." She waved a hand and a pathway appeared away from the garden. She nodded at Sirius, who took it as his cue to leave.
"Farewell, Sirius Black," She said as he made his way back for Grimmauld Place, "We will not meet again."
He turned to say farewell but she was already gone, the rose garden was replaced by forest. Frowning, he continued walking until he was back at the park in front of Grimmauld Place. The party was still continuing, loud music coming from inside of the house. Laughter carried its way towards Sirius, bright and cheerful.
Sirius paused; he ought to go talk to Regulus and sort things out with him. He ought to understand him. They were brothers and friends. He should not leave without talking it over with him. He would never do it to James, so then, why to his own brother?
Then, he heard Regulus's voice, loud and clear above the rest, thanking Narcissa for a new book on Potions. He was laughing, happy at being older, wiser, as they told him. He sighed. It could wait; he had time to sort things out with his brother. Regulus would be there the next day, and the day after.
After all, it was all in his hands, it was all possible.
With that, he lied back down on the grass and gazed up at the stars.