HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was really depressed latley so I wrote this song ficcy thingamabob cause.......I wanted to..... This is my first one so please dont flame me! Oh and don't get mad at me...it's an expression of emotion I guess so If you don't want to read it, don't..........thankies!

Warning- Contain's gore.....ummm and that's it?

Disclamer- I don't own Kai or Beyblades or anything....sucky.....

Ps- This really has nothing to do with the other bladers, just Kai hating his life, thanx Oh and please don't think im suicidal or insane plz

I slammed the door to my room and stood in silence. Escaping from the abby was harder than I first thought......they were never going to let me go. I was going to spend the rest of my life in this god forsaken place. I cluched my head as painful memories flowed through my mind.

Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

I wasn't going to be their tool, I didn't want to help them. Suddenly I realized, the power I seeked was here, right in my own hands. I had the power. Me. And I was going to use that power.

I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That i'm the one confused

I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes had grown cold and hasteful, Boris' work. Hard to belive I was once a carefree child. I gazed down at my cut up wrists. Only recently hadI started doing this, hurting myself. This wasn't right.....why was I like this?

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
Tonight

I opened my drawer and took out the pocket knife that had already been stained with my blood a few times before. I carefully slit my wrist and watched the red liquid ooze from the gash. I felt no pain anymore, just the feeling of emptyness and sorrow.

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again

I looked at the two word's I had just painted on the white wall with my own blood. Why did I feel this way? I don't want to feel like this anymore, I don't want to feel ANYTHING anymore!

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause i'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

I poud on the wall with my bleeding fist. I would end it.....I was going to end my suffering now. My hand clutched the knife and I plunged it into my stomach. For some reason, a smile crept to my lips as I dropped the knife and collapsed beside it.

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean

A scream.....I heard a woman scream as I lay their, my vision fading as a pool of blood began to surround me. I stare into the blade, it was reflecting the words I had written earlier, "I'm Nothing." I let go of life and faded into and endless dream.

I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So I'm breaking the habit
Breaking the Habit
Tonight