This is my first story and I'm not sure how to tackle dialogue, which will be necessary in future chapters so it will be slow going. Feedback appreciated but be kind, please.
And maybe I'm not up for being a victim of love,
When all my resistance will never be distance enough – Anna Nalick
MacKenzie was sitting on her balcony, her mind curiously blank beyond the reverberating question of how in the hell she had let this happen. She had not yet reached the point of considering what she would do from here. Instead, she was stuck in a kind of shock that it was happening at all.
She had finally, finally moved on with her life, or was bloody well trying. She'd made a modest success of News Night. She had managed to accept that Will would never completely forgive her or, at least, never want a relationship with her. After receiving multiple job offers over the last six months, one tempted her enough to actually take it and she'd hoped that severing ties and starting over would lead to her being able to forgive herself someday. She wasn't convinced she'd ever be truly happy, but she did hope to find some peace. Accepting the impossibility of a life with Will had certainly been a step in that direction and eight weeks ago, she had walked away, heart breaking in a million pieces once again but head held high.
Weren't all of these steps, while excruciatingly painful, also phenomenally healthy? Hadn't she accepted what she couldn't change? Hadn't she recognized her own addiction to letting Will punish her for something she hated herself for? Hadn't she purposefully broken away from that? Hadn't she earned career opportunities through her own success and accomplishments? Looking at the facts of her story logically, and ignoring the pain she still felt (something she had also gotten better at), she took a little pride in her progress.
Apparently, though, the universe was not satisfied with her efforts and was not the least bit interested in forgiving her. In fact, the universe apparently wanted to continue her punishment. How else could the only selfish and foolish decision she'd made in almost a year, and certainly the last six months, result in her sitting on her balcony holding a small white stick displaying two blue lines? And how was she supposed to break an addiction if she was tied to it forever?