Disclaimer: The characters of iCarly do not belong to me. It was suggested to me that I write a fic for a vid I did for Can't Make You Love Me by Elliott Yamin. So I decided that I would. Carly and Sam are together, and Carly cheats on her with Freddie. I really do love this song. I hope you guys like the fic. Big Cam angst. Loves Cam forever!
iCan't Make You Love Me
By Julia
It felt like she had been punched in the gut. Sam's girlfriend was standing there, macking on Freddie Benson. She felt like crap on toast. She and Carly had been together for three years. Sam had never loved anyone else in her life. It was only Carly. Carly Shay was a beautiful girl Sam thought she was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen in her life. Sam was working on not crying. She didn't want to show weakness right now. She just couldn't move. Her feet wouldn't let her move. She was wiping tears off her face anyway. "How could you do this?" She demanded to know, making them jump apart. Instantly, Carly started apologizing. Sam held up her hand. She didn't want to hear it. She had never thought that Carly would do this. They had been best friends for a very long time. She had thought they were rock solid. Apparently not. Carly was crying. Sam lifted her eyes, meeting the taller girl's eyes. "Be out of the apartment in two hours. I don't care where you go, as long as you aren't there when I get back." Sam held up her hand when Carly started to speak. "No." She said forcefully and turned around, storming out. What was she going to do now? How was she going to get past this? She just hoped that Carly would listen, and get the fuck out.
Yes I cheated, I admit it
I made choices that I never thought about
Guess I did it for the pleasure, but I never
Thought this day would come around
And now I'm missing you (oh yeah)
I miss kissing you (oh yeah)
Or the smell of your perfume (oh)
There's nothing now that I wouldn't do
That had been six months ago. Now Sam lived alone in their loft apartment with the huge California king size bed. She hated it immensely. Sam had definitely started to keep to herself. She worked as a barista at Starbucks. Soon, however, she was starting as a meat cutter in a grocery store. The higher education thing was not really Sam's bag. She loved meat, though, and they were going to be giving her fifteen dollars an hour. She was glad. Sam lived a very quiet and lonely existence now. She didn't really like people, and she never really had. She didn't like any of the college kids in the neighborhood. Carly was going to UCLA, so they had gotten an apartment in the middle of all the college hoopla. Sam was now stuck with this huge apartment that she didn't actually need. She could have downsized. Sam couldn't bear to give up her apartment. She had lived here with Carly. They had shared their lives together here. She didn't think she could go on and actually leave this apartment. It would mean giving up all of what Sam had loved most about Carly. Even if Carly had hurt her so badly that she felt like she would never be able to move on. Sam felt like it would never be better. All she could feel was numbness.
It wasn't even clear to her whether Carly and Freddie were still together. She was sure that they weren't. Carly had stopped talking to Freddie from what Sam had heard. She couldn't be for certain, but Gibby had been in contact with both of them, and that's what he had told Sam. She had chosen to believe him. Why would he lie? It just made no sense. Sometimes she wondered if she should give Carly another chance. She still loved the other girl with all of her heart. She didn't want to open herself up to be hurt again, but she definitely couldn't stop her feelings for Carly. She was just a glutton for punishment. What was Carly up to anyway?
That was the question, Hamlet. Carly was in the dorms, having had no other place to go. She had a terrible roommate. She thought that she deserved everything she got though. She had cheated on Sam. And with Freddie of all people. She still didn't know what was wrong with her. She didn't love Freddie, she never had. She must be insane. Sam had been her whole entire world. How could she go on without her? Especially when it had been her fault in the first place. Carly couldn't keep that night out of her mind. It had been the worst night of her life. Carly had just been doing her best to survive since then. She knew that cheating because she'd been drunk was completely deplorable. It…. how could she do that? Sam had taken care of her like no one else had before. She knew she'd never find anyone like Sam. She had to find a way to make this right. She just wasn't sure how.
And now I'm saying I'm sorry
For all that I've done I know I deserve it
If you've found someone don't know what to say
To make you come back home but I can't make you
Love me if you don't, if you don't
It was a chilly morning in April when Carly had decided to plead her case. She got dressed in her tightest pair of jeans, (the ones that Sam could never resist her in) and a white tee shirt. Then she grabbed some shoes, grabbed her keys and phone, and took off out the door. She knew Sam was still at the old apartment. She wasn't sure what to think about that. It could be a good sign. Maybe Sam still loved her and couldn't bear to leave. Sam wouldn't have stayed otherwise, Carly was certain. Unless she was just making sure she got her money's worth. She had paid most of the bills while Carly had been going to school. It had made sense at the time. They hadn't ever planned on this. She wished for the millionth time she could change it. Wishing wasn't helping anything. It's not as if she could really change it.
When she did reach the apartment, she stood outside for a long time before she went up to knock on the door. They didn't have a buzzer or anything. They couldn't afford an apartment that nice. She went up the stairs to the third floor, and knocked on the door. She waited breathlessly. What was Sam going to say? Would they argue for hours? Would she let Carly explain? She hoped she would. Carly wanted to be back with Sam more than she had ever wanted anything else in her life.
I'm not perfect, that's for certain, I'm so used
to people in and out my life that's the reason I didn't see it
til I missed you all those lonely nights and I'm still
missin' you (oh yeah)
don't know what else I can do
I've been acting a fool I'm still in love with you
When the door came open, it revealed Sam. She was dressed in a pair of jeans, which were baggy like men's, a tank top, and a plaid shirt. Her long curly hair was hanging lank and loose. Sam tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She didn't know what to say. Carly was here. This was what she had wanted for six months. She didn't know what to do now that it was actually here. Plus, Sam was certain that she shouldn't be happy that she was here. Sam wanted to forgive her, but she wasn't sure she should. Sam folded her arms. "What are you doing here?" She asked, her tone harsher than she wanted it to be.
Carly took a deep breath. She hadn't rehearsed what she was going to say. She thought maybe she should have. "Hi. Can we talk?" She asked, running her hands through her hair nervously. Her heart was in her throat.
This seemed like something Sam was okay with doing, so she stepped back to let her in. After Carly had come in, Sam closed the door behind her. She stood there looking at it, gathering strength before she turned back to her. "What do you want to talk about?" She asked, keeping her arms folded. It seemed best to keep the tone in her voice sharp, let Carly know that this wasn't going to be easy. She was doing her best not to throw her arms around Carly and kiss her until they were both breathless. That would end up being a mistake until she heard what Carly had to say. She had to be smart about this.
Letting out a deep breath, and glad that Sam hadn't kicked her out instantly, Carly clasped her hands. "I want…. I want to fix our relationship. I know I was wrong. I know that. I want to apologize for what I did. I know that it was the worst thing to do. I am so sorry. I shouldn't have cheated on you, and definitely not with Freddie." Carly had never loved Freddie and had never planned to. She still couldn't definitively say why she had been fooling around with him. She hadn't spoken to him since, either. She didn't think she should be friends with him anymore. Sam had never liked him anyway. But it stood to reason, he'd always been in love with Carly. She got why Sam hated him.
When Carly started apologizing, Sam felt better. However, she still felt angry. They had to work through this. She waited to reply, not sure what she wanted to say. Sam didn't know if she could work her anger into words. She hadn't ever really done anything other than bark at Carly to get out. She hadn't even beaten up Fredwad. She should have. Maybe it would have made her feel better. He certainly deserved it. Sam had never liked the little twerp anyway. Finally, she turned to Carly. "Really? That's all you have to say? That you're sorry? What about that it ruined our lives? We were together for three years, Carly. And best friends for practically our entire lives!" Sam wasn't having problems spitting it all out now. It was flowing freely. "I have never given you reason to doubt me! I have always been here. Loved you as best I can. I worked hard to keep us here in this apartment while you were going to school! How could you do that? And with fucking Freddie Benson! He's a boy, Carls! I thought you were a lesbian?"
After all that had come flying out of Sam's mouth, Carly took a deep breath. How was she going to answer that in the best possible way? Carly ran her hands through her hair. Her stomach was in knots. "I know it's not much, but I am sorry." She said, her eyes pleading. Sam had to forgive her. Tears slipped down her cheeks. "I am a lesbian, I swear. I don't know what made me kiss Freddie, really. He…. he kissed me. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him no. It really was. I just…. I guess maybe I'd had too much to drink. I just kissed him back. Then he put his arms around me, and I let him. It…. it was definitely different than when you kiss me. I don't know why I let him kiss me. I don't. It was different. That doesn't mean I liked it or that I would ever do it again. I just…. we'd been fighting. I was very confused and I didn't even know if we were still together. I was scared I had lost you!" By this point, tears were falling completely freely down her face.
That was all true. Sam could feel her own eyes filling with tears. They had fought a lot. They'd been arguing about bills, Carly's school, all things that had felt like adult arguments. Even though they were adults, Sam didn't feel like it. Sam still felt like the punk kid she had always been. The one who had spent her life getting into trouble and falling in love with Carly Shay. She had an engagement ring in her underwear drawer. She'd meant to ask her to get married the night she'd caught Carly with Freddie. That was what had made it hurt the most. She wiped her face. "We were fighting a lot." She hedged. "That doesn't excuse what you did." Sam added. Carly seemed to be hopeful now. As she stared back at the girl she'd always loved, Sam wondered if she was ever going to feel like she deserved Carly. Like she deserved good things in life. If she'd ever feel like the woman she'd become, and not that old punk kid who'd always been trailing after Carly.
And now I'm saying I'm sorry for all that I've done
I know I deserve it if you've found someone
don't know what to say to make you come back home
but I can't make you love me if you don't,
if you don't
When Sam seemed to be wavering, Carly was filled with hope. She stepped a little closer. It still felt like there was a chasm in between them. Sam was the only person Carly had ever truly loved. There had been boys, but none of them had really meant that much to her. In her heart, she'd loved that long curly haired blonde who ate a lot of meat and got into trouble. It still didn't sit right with her, what she had done. Carly supposed that she'd start to feel better when Sam forgave her. Or at least let her back in. It might be awhile before she got that forgiveness. But Carly was willing to do whatever she had to to get back in. Whatever. And she'd never do anything to make Sam leave her ever again. It had to work out. Cautiously, she reached out and took Sam's hand. To her great relief, Sam didn't pull her hand away. Carly took a calm breath. "We don't have to fight anymore." She told her, thumb stroking the back of Sam's hand. "You don't have to forgive me until you're ready. But let's mend this. Let's get back together. I will do whatever you need me to. Sam, I don't want to fight with you anymore. I love you so much. I've never loved anyone but you. Ever. Please. You have to let me make everything up to you."
That felt weird. Having Carly grovel like that. It felt surreal. She brought her eyes up to Carly's. They were both crying. Sam felt her heart melting. Despite that she was still really angry, she was definitely going to forgive her. They would figure this all out. They had to. Sam couldn't sleep in that huge ass bed without her anymore. Sam was kissing her before she knew what was happening. Carly was kissing back, and she felt as soft as Sam remembered. They were feverishly tearing off clothes as they headed for the bedroom. They were both naked and sweaty as they fell onto the bed. Breasts were rubbing against each other, and things were starting to get moist. Sam took charge. She pressed Carly back against the bed, her hands everywhere. One hand was teasing Carly's left nipple with her thumb, and the other was pressing two fingers inside Carly's hot sex. Carly's back was arching hard, and she was whimpering against Sam's mouth.
Sam's fingers pumped faster, and Carly began to moan. Sam lowered her mouth to Carly's breast, and licked and sucked. Her tongue darted across the nipple, and it made Carly scream out her name. Sam moved down to Carly's wet folds, and darted her tongue out, licking. She kept her fingers moving, and one of Carly's hands went into her hair. Sam liked when she pulled, and Carly didn't disappoint. She yanked hard as Sam finally let her mouth suck hard on Carly's clit. That made the brunette come immediately. Sam licked it up happily. She had always loved how Carly tasted. Even though it was always different, because with girls it depended on what they ate, but there was always an innate Carly taste.
As soon as Carly caught her breath, she flipped their bodies. Before she did anything to Sam, she got in the bedside table drawer, and got out the dildo they kept there. It didn't even occur to her that it would have moved in the six months they'd been apart. They did of course have a strap on, but Carly wasn't that pressed about getting it at the moment. She gently nudged Sam's legs apart with her knee. Sam was groaning underneath her. Carly pressed a thumb on Sam's clit, and she cried out. Carly smiled appreciatively. Sam was practically humming she was so ready. Carly turned the dildo on, and was pleased to see it come right on. She carefully eased it inside of Sam, and her girlfriend gasped out loud as it slid home. Carly let it do its job and she leaned to kiss Sam's mouth, and her free hand massaged Sam's breast, her thumb and index finger pinching her nipple hard. As she did so, Sam's back arched hard, and she came with a soft sigh. Carly grinned and pulled the dildo out and licked it clean. Then she put it away and kissed Sam deeply. They both collapsed on the bed.
After that sex, it was very hard to remember why she had been angry. Sam turned to Carly. Both of them were sexually satisfied, and sweaty. Sam stroked Carly's cheek. "I love you." She admitted. It wasn't time for the ring yet, but Sam could see it being soon. It wouldn't take them long to get back to where they had been before. To better than they had been before. Sam let out a deep breath. "We can get past this if we work through it." She added.
That was all Carly wanted to hear. She pressed her lips to Sam's, slipping her tongue in the other girl's mouth. She said, "I love you, and I'll do whatever you want me to do." She cuddled up to her, wrapping her arm around Sam's waist.
People say I was a fool to let you go
when a woman's fed up she's not afraid to let it show
When her mind's made up the situation's outta hand
It might sound crazy baby but I'm a changed man
And now I'm saying I'm sorry for all that I've done
I know I deserve it if you've found someone.
don't know what to say to make you come back home
but I can't make you love me if you don't,
if you don't, if you don't, if you don't, if you don't
Author's note: Okay! There's my Cam fic. Hope you like! I like how this came out actually. XD. Review if you want!