He has this dream.
It's not there every night, but often enough to haunt his daylight hours.
In the dream, he's with Lelouch in a small room. The walls and the floor are checkered, for some reason, and stained with blood. Suzaku isn't quite sure how, but he knows it's Euphemia's blood. He points to the blood and asks Lelouch what it's doing there when it should be inside Euphemia's body. Silly Lelouch. Blood shouldn't be spilt like that.
"I'm sorry", Lelouch says, and he's crying, and Suzaku isn't sure why because all they need to do is return the blood to its proper place, right? Come on, hurry, Euphemia's going to start wondering where it all went, you know.
Then all of a sudden it isn't Euphemia's blood anymore.
Lelouch is on the floor, bleeding from a massive hole in his chest. Suzaku wonders why, but then he sees he's holding Lelouch's heart in his hand. Blood is dripping from it.
"But Lelouch, don't you need this?"
Lelouch smiles and shakes his head.
"I want you to have it. It's so very fragile after all. I don't trust myself with it."
Suzaku suddenly realises this is true, and he looks at the heart again. It's made of porcelain, not flesh – how could he not have noticed? He thinks to himself, I should be careful with this, and just as he thinks that he drops the heart onto the floor.
When it breaks, it makes a sound almost like a scream.