My Only Love
A tale sprung forth from: Happy Cabbit Konai's mind.
(Special thanks to Nemesys-sama for the support and suggestions)
DISCLAIMER: I made Tenchi Muyo!!! (That's also why I write fanfics about
my own show and put them on the Internet….) Seriously though, I didn't
create
any of these characters…other people did. Pioneer and AIC are the people
I'm supposed to give credit to, right? Okay then, Pioneer and AIC, you made
these characters…but I made the current situation their in. Sue me if you
want,
but don't plagiarize me….and don't tell your psychiatrist about plagiarizing
me
when you do, cuz believe me, he'll wonder….
(NoTE: This fic is based in the middle of Shin Tenchi. Why? How many
other
fics haveyou seen based off of Shin Tenchi that didn't include Sakuya
getting
naked? Thought I'd give it a shot...and not let Sakuya...well, you get the
point)
"She's made of hair and bone and little teeth…
Things I cannot speak.
She comes on like a crippled plaything,
Spine is just a string.
I wrapped our love in all this foil,
Silver tight like spider legs.
I never wanted it to ever spoil,
But flies will lay their eggs.
Take your hatred out on me,
Make your victim my head.
You never ever believed in me,
I am your tourniquet."
-M. Manson, "Tourniquet"
It was a hot day…and I longed to see him. I felt tense all over. *Does he
hate
me today?* It used to be so difficult to tell. One day I would be his
Goddess..
the next nothing more than another name in the Tenchi Masaki lottery.
That's why I was so happy when he came home. To me. To the shrine that
was his home.. (That squalid hellhole of an apartment over there in Tokyo
will
never be his home! It's just a temporary place for him to sleep!)
He seemed happy…but sad. This surprised me. I was the one with the warring
emotions, It was I that felt horrible for loving him, but happy and wistful
because
of him…
He shouldn't have to feel that way…
So I did what I thought women were supposed to do…I threw my arms around
him and pulled his body firmly against mine. He didn't seem to mind too
much.
And that frightened me.
"Tenchi….what's wrong?" I forced my eyes to meet his, but his ran away…He
always ran...all of him. Even his eyes. Now I wish he'd kept running that
day…
"Ryoko…I have something to tell you…"
"Tenchi?? What is it? What's wrong? Tell me…please."
He steeled himself and looked at me. His face was contorted with the same
overwhelming emotions I endured inside daily.
*What's wrong with my Tenchi?*
"Ryoko…you remember that Sakuya girl you met a couple weeks ago?"
I nodded. "The one with the funny last name, right?"*Damn hussy*
"Well…we're dating. I…."
His words left his mouth at an eternity per syllable, slowing down the scene
before me like the climax of a recurring nightmare. Frame by frame, I
endured it...each soul piercing word.
"….Ryoko…I…I love her."
The world had come to a halt around us, his words still hanging in the air.
They
ballooned, filling the room's emptiness, echoing, suffocating me.
"…I…I love her."
My mind flashed back to the moment I'd met him. The way he'd looked at me.
"…I love her."
The way he always made me felt, even when I saw him waste his smiles on
Ayeka
instead of me.
"love her."
What had I done wrong? I had never lost before. Not at anything. To
anyone.
Why did I have to lose now? Why did I have to lose at this?
Why did I have to lose to….
" her"!
The world clicked and I realized I had been silent for quite some time.
Tenchi
was staring at me and fidgeting uncomfortably. My cheeks felt wet and
heavy.
Tenchi didn't look happy. He kept looking away nervously…like a dog who'd
been caught shitting on the floor…A dog who wanted to find a way to explain
just why he'd been shitting on the floor.
Then I screamed. I'd never screamed like that. With my heart, my feelings,
myself. I *was* that scream. I was that noise reverberating through
Tenchi…
making him clap his hands around his ears…making him cry..
Funny…I'd cried myself to sleep on his account more times then I could
remember. But it shocked me to think someone else, even him, might do
something similar because of me.
It was then that I realized it, mid-scream. *Why?*
The scream abruptly stopped, but Tenchi just kept his hands over his ears
and
continued sobbing. He slowly fell to the floor, hands still clamped, eyes
still wet,
and curled up in the fetal position.
As I watched Tenchi, I finally realized I had stopped screaming. And…I
smiled
wickedly.
I fought to keep my voice from trembling too much. "Do you know just how
worthless you are?" I closed my eyes.
"Do you!?" I shouted at the top of my lungs.
I kept my eyes closed and my hands shaking in fists at my sides.
"Do you know just how pathetic a worm you are?"
I shook my head back and forth, tears flying in all directions, as I
continued.
"DO YOU!"
I opened my eyes and stared down at him. For the first time, really stared
at the
loathsome creature balled up on the ground.
His tears were silent ones now, and they glistened noiselessly as they
trickled
down his face.
"I know opposites attract, but look at you! Your running skills are matched
only
by your hiding talents!" I spat, as I bent over at the waist, putting my
mouth next
to his ear, but keeping my lungs and voice at full force.
"You treat girls like they're the plague…unless they're minors! What the
hell's
wrong with you? You never once told Ayeka and I how you felt..never even let
us know you cared. But westayed, if only so we could continue dreaming of
the
glorious moment you did…"
My voice softened, quavering. "I loved you. I love you. Why? Why did I
waste my time? Why did I let you…" I paused as he looked up, his eyes
screaming regret as loudly as I my insults.
"…Hurt me?"
He turned his head aside again, but I took my trembling hands and placed
them
as gently as could on either side of his face.
"Not this time, worm! Tell me, you spineless jellyfish!"
I forced his head around towards mine. Our wet eyes locked.
"Ry.." He sobbed "Ryoko….I am…so sorry…" He tried to look away,
grabbing my hands with his and pulling fiercely. But It's hard to deal with
a
demon you just angered.
I looked down at him…the way I should have always looked at him..the way he
deserved to be looked at. "Oh…" I let my voice lighten up considerably,
sarcasm oozing in quickly to replace the lost hatred. "Oh, he's
soooooorrry…."
I inched my face a little closer, wondering whether or not he could smell
the odor
of the last meal I had preyed upon.
Quickly I wrenched him up, made him stand.
"You're a humanoid." I stated rationally. "Stand like one."
"Act like one…"
I opened my right palm and tensed the muscles there. Soon I could feel the
energy pouring in.
"Die like one."
Swiftly I clenched the hand into a fist, creating a simple yet deadly sword
which
I brought towards his throat.
All that time he looked away…even when he said, "Ryoko, no!"
I'd heard him say that many, many times. It had never failed to stop
me…from
killing Ayeka, from staring at him while he was in the bath….
And it stopped me, as if out of habit, then.
His eyes met mine. They were red, and had a sticky looking film over them.
His
cheeks were gaunt and rivered with several trails of tears.
I wanted to know. I had to know. "Why, Tenchi."
His voice trembled horribly, his words barely decipherable.
"Why…what….Ryoko? What?"
"Why her?" It was my turn to avert my eyes…to wonder just what the hell I
was
doing.
"Because….because…"
Suddenly I felt my arm being forced down abruptly. Not expecting the
attempt,
I had let my guard down. Quickly I brought my hand to bear the other
direction…and into Tenchi.
My eyes widened as I realized just what I had done. "Tenchi…" I quickly
retracted the sword from his gut.
The cheeks below his red eyes rose slightly…into a smile.
"Ryo…ko…." He said, between gasps, not sobs, now. "I…had…to…." His
eyes began to be getting a little glazed. I stared deeply into his eyes…
wondering how..why…it had come to this.
"I…really care…. for…you…"
My eyes widened involuntarily.
"Bu…t" He gulped down something. "Ayeka… too." His efforts at speech
were putting a large strain on him, and it was visible.
"If…I.. had….chosen…one of…you…." He coughed reflexively, but halfway
through, his throat filled up with the blood he vomited up on the floor a
moment
later. His gaze began to wander, his eyes jumping as they reached one side
of
his head.
"The…other…would…have….been…hurt…" His voice was still pained, but it
sounded asif though he were trying to gargle mouthwash and speak at the same
time. He stared my eyes down lovingly as he finished his sentence "Aaand…..
hurrrt…aand .hhate…my…cho..sen…"
His eyes stared at the ground he would soon be under. "Be…" He made a loud
gasping noise as the side with the gaping wound twitched. "sides…"
"You'rre tooo…good for mee….I don't desherrve you..shorry…had to..do thish"
His head began slumping and raising in turns while mine took a dive and
started
swimming.
I opened my mouth, not fully realizing what I had done, only how I felt…
Tenchi opened his mouth slightly, blood gathering in a small pool on one
side, as
he forced his eyes to stare into mine for one last time.
"I love you" we both voiced simultaneously.
I closed my eyes and reached out for his cheek, drawing his face close to me
as
I wrapped my other arm around him. I parted my lips and guided his mouth to
mine. I savored it…everything about it…about being so close to the man I
loved.
About how he responded with his own kiss Intimate, yet innocent…and pure.
If
only the world were like that kiss…
He broke it off a few minutes (or was it hours?) later. I kept my eyes
closed as
I pulled back. Feeling something tickling the corner of my lips, I
reflexively drew
the back of my hand across my mouth. I stared at my blood covered hand, and
shivered involuntarily. I turned my eyes away sharply. Towards Tenchi.
A hole, about the size of a half dollar, stared at me from his stomach.
There was
no blood in the wound itself, being cauterized by the heat of the blade upon
entrance. The world began swimming in time with my head, and a throbbing
numbness soon enveloped my body.
The man I loved…ruthlessly tortured emotionally and slain-by my own hand.
I began walking backwards, not really believing what I saw…and not being
able to take myeyes off it. My head began to pound. What would the others
think? What would Ayeka think?
I continued backing up, bringing my hands up to cover my mouth and the
wordless noises it made, shaking it back and forth. His face still seemed
directed at me, though his eyes had rolled up into the back of his head.
Around
him on the carpet laid the few crimson stains of a deed too well down.
*Sasami'll have a heart attack when she sees she has to tackle those
stains..* I
thought distantly, not willing to accept the evidence my eyes presented to
me as
I continued backing up absentmindedly…and straight into something warm…
*Flesh behind clothes* I identified the source of the warmth I had run
into while
backing up.
"What have you done, Ryoko?"
I whirled around to see a horrorstruck Ayeka, still staring at Tenchi's
corpse.
She brought her eyes to bear against mine…searching for a clue…
"What have you done?"
"Well, I'm finally free.
I'm your tourniquet.
I never ever believed in me…
I am your tourniquet."
Well, it's over..and aren't you happy? Anyhowz…thanks for reading, you sick
sick person you. (Why didn't you quit halfway through? You've got
problems...
of course, I'm the one who wrote this thing...)
If you'd like to see me continue this into a series, E-mail me. Please!
Tell me
how good I did at happycabbitkonai@hotmail.com .
If you'd like to see me commit seppeku, please, e-mail me. Please! Tell me
how bad I did at the same address. (rotten.com needs some more gruesome
pics…go for it!)