Shoulder to Cry On

"I'm losing him, Felix," Dee whispered, almost imperceptibly.

You never had him, thought Gaeta bitterly. You only thought you did. He looked at Dee, staring despondently into her coffee mug, and wondered how a woman so perceptive...so intelligent, could be so blind...so...stupid.

He didn't really know why he was here in the mess hall, sitting on the cold metal bench opposite of his companion, listening to her moan about what had been obvious to him and the rest of the crew for years now. He'd found her standing in the hallway about an hour after Starbuck and Apollo's fight, looking shell-shocked, and for some reason, he took pity on her and led her to the empty mess hall. He didn't know why he did it. It wasn't like they were close anymore. In fact, when he rejoined the fleet and was reassigned to C.I.C., Mrs. Lee Adama barely registered his presence. He figured that, being the former aide to President Baltar, most people on board wouldn't welcome him back, even after it was revealed he helped the resistance on New Caprica, but Dee's coldness had stung him the most. And now...she was waiting for a response.

"Uh, what makes you say that."

She looked up at him, her green eyes glaring. "Don't play dumb with me! You were there. You saw what they were like. They weren't fighting, they were–" She suddenly pushed away her mug and stood up. "I think I'm going to be sick."

In the past, he would have stood up, held her, tried to comfort her with soothing words...humor her, take away her pain somehow. But then, that was a different Felix Gaeta.

"Look, Dee, you knew this was coming. If it wasn't in the ring, it would have been in the rec room, the gym, the flight deck...Hell, I wouldn't have put it past them to duke it out in C.I.C.. They needed to fight. It's part of who they are!"

"But–"

"Sit down!"

Dee stared at him open-mouthed. She wasn't expecting that. Good 'ole Gaeta...always ready for with a shoulder to cry on. His last words had come out sharper than he intended, but he was tired of this bullshit. "Sit down...please." She meekly slipped back into her seat. Gods, she's changed...

He remembered how in the early days, how much they used to talk, enjoying each other's company. Falling in love had been easy for him, but he had been smart enough to know that she didn't see him in the same light, so he contented himself with their friendship. So when she started seeing Billy Keikeya, he'd actually been happy for her. He'd talked to him only a few times, but had been impressed by his heart and his intelligence. A little young for her her, perhaps, but a good man overall. It wasn't until she set eyes on Lee Adama that she started to change. Billy fell to the wayside–sacrificing his life for her-- and she'd barely shed a tear. Gods, that could have been me...

"You know, you're a smart girl, Dee. You always were. It's just that I find it hard to believe that you had no idea that he had feelings for Starbuck–"

"Of course I knew!", she snapped. "But after the way she treated him...After she took up with Anders he just lost it! And I–"

"You were there to pick up the pieces."

There was a dead silence between them for a moment.

"Dee, don't think I don't remember how you used to look at him in C.I.C. You hung on his every word. You even lied to my face when I asked you if you were planning to break him out of the brig–and don't you say that you don't know what I mean. You're a truthful person. You can look at a person and pretty much tell if they're telling the truth. But right then and there, I knew you were lying, I saw it in your eyes. You were willing to risk landing in the brig yourself for him because you were in love. So it's really not a surprise that you could fool yourself into believing that was in love with you."

Dee's entire body stiffened, her eyes despairing... He could tell that what he was saying was not what she wanted to hear.

"You've changed, Felix", she whispered.

He snorted. "Well, I spent the better part of a year dealing with a pathological liar, so I know bullshit when I hear it. Hell, I'm practically an expert now!"

She stood up quickly, almost knocking the bench over. "I don't need to hear this!"

"Yes, you do, Dee!" He hissed, slowly standing to his full height, his dark eyes piercing into hers. He slowly strode towards her, ready to give her the truth whether she liked it or not. "Your husband has a connection with Kara Thrace. Crazy, frakked up, you name it. They have a bond that few people understand. Whether they end up frakking or not, whether he'll leave you or not, I don't know. What I do know is that you have two choices. You either step up and fight for him outright, or stand aside and get on with your life." He stopped in front of her, leaning in close to her face. "To tell you the truth, I don't think you're strong enough for the former–"

At that moment, Dee's hand flew to his cheek.

Gaeta stood there for a moment, rubbed his face, feeling the sting...and then he laughed mirthlessly, shaking his head. "Karma's a bitch, isn't it."

FIN