notes | m'kay, i can't help but notice the similarities between tarachristiankat and massiederrickdylan and maybe massie isn't as innocent as tara was in the beginning of dance academy — but i'm sort of bored, so i came up with this, (: i'm in sort of a good mood, so nobody dies! hope you guys like this; please leave a review? / this is more of a drabble, so it's really short.
.:all the little lights:.
Now our bodies are the guilty ones. —The Guilty Ones, Spring Awakening
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Perhaps, everything goes back to those days of innocence.
They can barely remember those days of kindergarten, before there were thoughts of sneaking out past curfew, and having your first kiss be that random hot guy who was on KISS FM but there were some special, magic moments that no children wanted to end. Of course, even back then, the children of Westchester always used to be push the limits, but they never go as far as they've gone these days; they always knew when to stop, and they were "daddy's little girls" and "mommy's little boys", the perfect children with beautiful hair and the act of innocence real. Everything was real about them, and there wasn't any pretense about being caring and warm.
Massie Block, seventeen years old, trails into an empty bedroom, and takes out a bottle of vodka from underneath her bed; she examines her makeup in the reflection of the mirror, eyeliner dripping down and hair, a wet, soggy mess. She takes a swig of vodka and falls upon her bed, the room spinning around her. Massie Block thinks that Westchester's version of daddy's little girl is sorely fucked.
.
She was supposed to turn like a perfect child;
One of those children who have this sort of tragic upbringing, when one or more of their legal guardians die, and then maybe something happens to them as well, along the lines of failed relationships or some sort of chronic disease that only happens in the most noble of families, or something along the lines of that. Then, they find some way to become some of the richest people on the planet, and it's not like their parents suddenly just gave them millions of dollars or anything and before they graduate high school, usually at Constance Billiard or St. Jude's, they have written a rags to riches novel.
It's one of those books that everybody has read — especially snobby college acceptance boards; and these sort of people get into whatever college of their choice, but somewhere around the way, they mess up everything, and end up in jail. Nevertheless, their reputations are ruined and they're left friendless, but somehow they do something amazing like finding a cure for cancer or actually getting cancer, and everybody feels bad for them.
In the insane asylum or cancer therapy group, these girls always meet this perfect guy, and they hit enough immediately. They go through struggles in their relationship, but end up with this beautiful happily ever after that doesn't really make sense.
And, Massie has just tried so hard to follow this path, but there are only so many people who can find the cure for cancer; she decides to go through the relationship struggle sort of thing, and starts in the fourth grade. Her life becomes spoiled, a mixture of embarassment and mistakes that can't be taken back, and suddenly it's already high school, and her friendships are broken, all bonds bent, forevermore. She leaves for boarding school, somewhere in Switzerland or Australia or anywhere but Westchester because she needs to start escaping her problems.
.Around the first day of school, Massie's already completely ruined everything, because her parents decide that this math and science academy will be perfect for her, and then they switch to dance at the last minute, just because they absolutely love watching Alicia — the perfect friend, always the perfect one; dancing, and Skye Hamilton, gosh isn't she marvelous? And, Massie thought that she would be able to escape everything.
By moving to the middle of nowhere, it was only a way to escape being compared to, never being good enough, and no matter how hard she tries, everything keeps on following her. Nevertheless, she screws up her auditions and is nearly sent home until Massie realizes that she's the only person at the National Academy of Dance who bribes their admission way in; she never wanted this happen, but Kendra and William can't accept the fact that their only child, their only daughter, is a complete failure with no real ambition or passion in life. Massie can, though.
She decides to give up until competition comes along, in the form of a perfect little girl named Skye Hamilton; the past keeps on following her, and Massie's not an innocent, little girl anymore. She knows what Skye is up to, but plays along with the nice act; a pretense, really, that's transformed into her mask — disappointment and loneliness reign inside, castle walls being torn down to keep everything picturesque. After all, that's the best thing a girl can be; a beautiful little fool.
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And perhaps deep down, there is still innocence after all, but everything goes by in a blur;
Sometimes, Massie just wishes that she could forgive and forget, wrapping everything up in a box but the bitter truth will always come out — the Academy has officially ruined them. It's the perfect place for the symbolic reference of loss of innocence, where everything starts going wrong, and in a way, none of them will ever be the same after coming out of there, if they haven't already left due to injury or excessive cases of eating disorders, which is about one of three.
Sometimes, Massie just wishes that life had gone differently; that maybe she wouldn't have ran away from all of her problems, because they ended up chasing her anyway; she remembers the stares from the people as she walked down the hallway, blissfully ignorant until a certain familiar series of pictures shows up on her phone, and everybody knows, her newfound reputation gone. And, it's wrong. It's wrong that one mistake should define your entire life.
But it does, and Massie's learned that life isn't perfect, and it isn't pretty, and she thought that going away, to this far away please like she's seen on numerous television shows would be an adventure, but this is real life, and she's the world for what it is.
(The little lights of hope in her brain start flickering. But, darling, didn't you know that it wasn't going to work out?)