Thank God I was petrified.
Thank God I was frozen and unable to respond.
Otherwise, he would have known.
He would have seen my cheeks turn red when he spoke to me, so sweetly.
He would have felt my heart beat so much faster when he held my hand.
I loved him.
From the first time I saw him, I had fallen hard and fast for the boy who lived.
His messy hair, baggy clothes, and beautiful green eyes had caused so many sleepless nights. Of course, we were friends and nothing more…wishing will only get you so far.
Thank God I was petrified and unable to speak or these words might come pouring out.
Thank God I had learned to bite my tongue so early on. The stress he was under was unbearable and he needed a soft place to fall…which he found in me and Ron…as his friends. Friends and nothing more. I would be what he needed me to be.
I would be the best friend who stood by him forever. I would smile and be happy for him when he succeeded in life, saved the day, and eventually found love with another.
I would hold the tears in when he saw right passed me. I would ignore the pain I felt when he made it so obvious that he didn't feel the same. I would be a friend to him…and nothing more. I would settle for someone who was ok, but not the one I wanted. Not the one I loved more than life itself.
Thank God I was petrified and unable to move. Thank God.
Otherwise, I would jump up and throw my arms around him.
Otherwise, I would press my lips to his and let all these secrets be revealed. I would sob and apologize for these feelings which would tear our trio apart.
"I wish you were here, Hermione..." His voice was so gentle and broken. Thank God I was petrified and unable to cry.
I'm here, Harry. Always.
…but as a friend and nothing more.