I just continued to lie on the bed after I heard the door slam. I felt numb. The cuts on my arms not causing me any pain at all. I'm glad the private eye only stayed for a while. I can't bear to be around people for long.
Since my son died and my husband left me to take care of our baby. I've done nothing but cry until I can't cry anymore and I just couldn't cope any longer.
I dragged myself up from the bed and into the bathroom. I stared at my face. I used to be a happy person, my son brought so much light into my life. He was such a happy child. always fun to be around and never any trouble. I should have been there when he needed me. I was a bad mother for him.
I hope that investigator can help the little boy who has gone missing. I saw it on the news. I pray he doesn't end up like my Jeremy.
I turned on the taps and splashed some cold water on to my face. Drying my face, I thought of Emily and how she's too young to know what's going on and she wont remember any of this. Lucky for her it probably wont affect her at all. I headed into the living room and peeked over Emily's crib. She was sleeping peacefully. Guess that guy did a good job.
I sat down on the couch and stared at the phone, minutes later I was calling my mom. She was fine as usual. I told her that I needed her and she said to come straight over and that we could stay as long as we wanted and that it would give her a good chance for us to catch up and for her to see her granddaughter. We haven't really got on since my husband left, it was nice to talk to her again. I grabbed a bag and started to pack all the bits and bobs I couldn't leave behind plus Emily's things. 'Come on Emily.' I said, picking her up. 'We're going to see your Granny.''
To be continued...