Title: It's *That* Time of the Month or The Ikka no Kyande Tempt Fate
Authors: Emiri and Usa
Email Addys: Emiri--bunny_s_@hotmail.com and Usa--Usako0@aol.com
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All Sailor Moon characters are property of Takeuchi Naoko, Kodansha, TOEI Animations, and Bandai.
Author's Notes: This fic takes place after Stars. It's our attempt and humor and we think we did a pretty good job... Not that we're boasting... ^^;; The two title thing is kind of a tribute to Rocky and Bullwinkle. Emiri and I loved that show! Translations for some words is at the end of the fic. Enjoy!
Again, thanks Emiri, for a chou wonderful time! ~Usa
I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life writing this...makes me want chocolate. (^_~) ~Emiri
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It's *That* Time of the Month or...
The Ikka no Kyande Tempt Fate
***********************************
'That time of the month...' should have some meaning for young girls between the ages of 10 and 19. Older as well, but work with us here...
Men should particularly be aware during that time. One man comes to mind right now. Chiba Mamoru. The man was either brain dead or incredibly baka. He was in a small confining room with 9 girls... all during that time.
He was just about to leave when the girls began fighting. He decided that as the boyfriend of one of the girls, he should referee.
"Usagi-chan, do share some of that chocolate you're hoarding in your backpack," Rei said sweetly.
"Yes, or I'm afraid we'll have to kill for it," Minako added.
Usagi looked at Rei innocently. "What chocolate, Rei-chan?"
"Come on, Usagi-chan, I don't want to have to get nasty," Makoto growled.
"We all know about your stash, Usagi-chan, now fork it over! I got only 98% on a test today...I'm not in a good mood!" Ami looked like she was ready to attack. Usagi's eyes widened. She had never seen Ami so... scary.
Haruka joined in. "She's right, Odango. We need some sustenance."
Michiru's eyes widened as she realized what *her* Haruka had called Usagi. "Dear," she said, "I thought we agreed about calling people by their proper names."
Haruka just glared at Michiru. Michiru glared back. There was no way Haruka was going to flirt with Usagi in her presence and live to tell about it...
"If you don't hand it over, I'll destroy the world!" Hotaru was about to bring out the glaive.
Setsuna just groaned, lying on the bed.
"Hotaru-chan," Mamoru spoke up, "I have some chocolate." He fished a candy bar from his pocket. Mamoru told them that he had a chocolate bar in his pocket. Chou bad idea! 'Baka!' Mamoru thought.
"GIVE ME THAT BAR, MAMORU-SAN! NOW!" Makoto screamed, jumping for it. Mamoru threw the candy onto floor and got the hell out of there. Ami, Rei, and Minako all dove for the chocolate. Makoto and Haruka dove as well.
Setsuna just continued groaning on the bed. "Oi..."
Hotaru sat back and waited, knowing the chocolate would eventually come flying her way as everyone tried to grab it. Usagi, however, was munching happily on a Hershey bar with almonds. "Yum..."
"Hotaru-chan," Usagi called. "Here ya go!" She chucked a Krackle bar to her young friend.
Michiru's head whipped around. "You said yum...you *do* have chocolate!" She dove on top of Usagi. "Share!"
"Anyone want some Twix or Reese Cups?" Usagi asked. "But you gotta pay me!"
"I'll take both," Minako fumbled out of the pile. "NANI???"
Haruka chomped quietly on the Snickers bar Mamoru had tossed to them. It was nice being one of the strongest Senshi. Michiru ran over to Haruka. "SHARE!"
"Oh, I'll pay you all right..." Makoto said angrily.
"That's not a wise idea, Usagi-chan." Ami looked even more threatening than before.
Sweat dropping, Usagi handed Ami the Twix, Makoto some M&Ms, and Rei a Watchamacallit.
"Ne, Minako-chan, want anything?"
Ami, Makoto, and Rei retreated happily. "HAAI!" Minako responded. There was no way on earth that she'd refuse chocolate now!
Hotaru felt a *little* sorry for Setsuna, and walked over to the bed? "You want a piece?"
"Oh... go away, Hotaru..."
"I've got..." Usagi rummaged through her backpack, "an Almond Joy."
"OOH! I'll take that" Rei ran to grab it. Usagi shrugged and handed her that and Minako a Mars bar.
"Setsuna-san, would you like some candy?" Usagi asked.
"Only if it's chocolate covered Midol, Usagi-chan," came Setsuna's muffled reply.
"Ooh! I have extra strength Midol!" Minako offered. "I've got enough for everyone to have 2..."
Usagi was confused. She had never heard of that before. "What is that Minako-chan? Chou good candy?"
Everyone sweat dropped. "You don't know what Midol is?" Ami asked.
"No..."
"I envy you." Rei rolled her eyes and groaned. Her cramps were *killing* her.
"Hurry up with that Midol, Minako-chan!" Makoto said.
"Well, is anyone going to tell me?" Usagi asked
Setsuna just groaned again and held out her hand for the Midol.
"Midol is...the Goddess of medicine! It kills cramps, bloating and the caffeine gives you an energy boost!"
"Me too, Minako-chan!" Haruka said.
"Here!" Minako walked around, handing out the Midol to everyone.
"But I don't have cramps or bloating," Usagi complained. "But, I'd love an energy boost."
Rei, Minako, Ami, and Michiru looked ready to kill Usagi. "You're lucky, Usagi-chan..." Makoto muttered.
"You don't get bloated....you don't get cramps..." Usagi shook her head.
"I wonder if it has to do with her being the Moon Princess," Ami thought aloud.
"Well, in that case, I want to be the Moon Princess!" Rei whined.
"Probably," Setsuna said, trying to sit up. She failed and collapsed back onto the bed.
Hotaru went over to her. "Here, Setsuna-mama. You can have my Midol, I don't have bad cramps or bloating either." Setsuna grabbed the Midol out of Hotaru's hand. Two more wouldn't hurt...
"She's just lucky 'cause she's young," Minako muttered.
"Hai, hai," Makoto replied.
"Anyone else want more chocolate?" Rei offered. "And what about pizza and pop?"
Haruka decided she wanted to lie down. "Move over Pluto, Uranus needs to be comfortable."
"HAI!" everyone exclaimed, except Haruka and Setsuna. Michiru glared at Haruka. She went and sat between her and Setsuna.
"Good, 'cause I do too! YUUICHIROU!"
As if on cue, Mamoru arrived with five pizzas and Yuuchiriuo followed with several 2 liter bottles of pop. "Yes, Rei-sama?" He bowed slightly... "If you need anything else, just let me know..." Rei winked at the other girls. He was obviously well-trained, after dealing with her PMS for several years.
"Mamo-chan!" Usagi smiled. "Arigatou!" She stood on her tip toes to give him a kiss.
"Odango, get a room..." Haruka put a had to her mouth and looked at Michiru "G-gomen." Michiru hit Haruka. Hard. "MICHIRU!" she cried out. Then quietly added, "Save that for the bedroom." Michiru leaned over, grabbed Haruka's hand and dragged her out of the room, with everyone staring at them. She popped back in for a bottle of pop, and then left again.
"Pizza time, minna!" Usagi said. Everyone hoarded the boxes. Except Setsuna... she just continued to groan in pain.
"Good, I'm STARVING!" Minako exclaimed.
Rei went to grab for the last slice of Hawaiian pizza just as Usagi did... "No, Rei-chan, that's my slice!" Usagi growled.
"I don't think so, Odango Atama! *My* Yuuichirou brought it especially for *me!*"
"No, *My* Mamo-chan brought it for *ME*!"
"Well, it's my house, therefore I get it!"
"Well, I'm your Princess and your future Queen so you should give it to me!"
"Well, you don't suffer from cramps and bloating like the rest of us, so you don't have an excuse to be crabby!"
"Hang on guys," Minako said. "I know how to settle this." The two looked at Minako. "Here, give me the slice and a knife."
Usagi didn't trust Minako at all. "Uh..." She grabbed it and stuffed it into her mouth.
"RATS! I wanted that!" Minako said, disappointed that she had failed .
"Bis is chou bood!" (translation: "This is chou good!")
"Usagi! I wanted that!" Rei jumped on Usagi. "Give me half!!!"
"Usagi-chan..." Makoto said.
Usagi then began choking on the pizza. She could barely breathe. "Serves you right." Rei slid off and stuck her tongue out at her. Usagi pointed to her throat and fell to the floor.
"Oh my god! Usagi-chan!" Ami cried out. She rushed over, ready to perform CPR.
Setsuna jumped up, ignoring her pain. "Kami-sama!"
"Does this mean I can have the rest of your chocolate, Usagi-chan?..."
"Minako!"
Just before Ami put her mouth over Usagi's, a grin spread on the girl's face. Usagi began laughing. "Usagi-chan, you...faker!" Ami sputtered.
"That was cruel!" Makoto told her.
"Just for that, I get the rest of your M&Ms!" Hotaru said.
Haruka and Michiru popped back in. "Did we hear M&Ms being mentioned?"
"Usagi-chan, so help me..." Setsuna said, rushing over to her. The Senshi of Time was about to choke the life out of Usagi herself.
"Setsuna-san!" Haruka exclaimed, grabbing her arm.
"Setsuna-mama...I thought your cramps hurt too much for you to move."
"They did, until Usagi scared the shit out of me."
"So your cramps are gone now?"
"Not really, but they're not as bad as before."
Usagi swallowed the last bit of pizza. "G-gomen..."
"Hey, I think we found a new cure for cramps," Rei exclaimed.
"What?" Makoto asked. "Have someone choke on pizza?"
"No...scaring the shit out of someone!"
"Oi..." Haruka muttered, going back outside.
"Ugh...did you have to say that?" Michiru wrinkled up her nose, then suddenly making a mad dash for the toilet.
"YUUICHIROU!"
"I want some chocolate," Setsuna said. "I'm ready. I NEED CHOCOLATE!"
He got there in about 0.2 seconds after Rei had yelled. "Yes, Rei-sama?"
"We need more chocolate. NOW. Buy whatever the store has, get it all! Now GO!!!"
"And you'd better be back in 5 minutes!" Makoto threatened.
"Make that 4 and a half! I'll end the world if I don't get more chocolate!" Yuuichirou ran off like a bat out of hell.
Setsuna spotted a piece of smashed Snickers on the floor. 'Hmm... I can't wait...' She went straight to the candy, scooped it up off the floor and popped it in her mouth. "Mmmm..."
"Were you *that* desperate you couldn't wait another 4 1/2 minutes?" Minako asked.
Hotaru watched them all with big eyes. She hoped that she was never *that* bad.
Setsuna nodded. "I was in too much pain to eat anything earlier!" she protested. She just wanted the chocolate cause it was yummy... "And you guys ate all the pizza..."
"You didn't get *any*?"
"No." Usagi's face was red and she hid behind Makoto.
Rei was about to yell for Yuuichirou again, when she remembered that he was gone. "Damn! I want more pizza too!" She glared through Makoto.
"Usagi-chan, Setsuna-san could have had that last slice of pizza you stole," Makoto explained.
"It's all right, lets just order some," Setsuna replied. "... with anchovies and chocolate and ice cream..." Usagi's face turned from red to green and she ran for the bathroom.
"Good idea! I'm STARVING," Ami replied. "And I need more chocolate too...I'm getting depressed 'cause of my lousy score on the test."
Michiru was still in the bathroom, but Usagi couldn't wait and threw up right onto Mamoru, who was waiting his turn. "Usako!"
"Gomen, Mamo-chan... My stomach hurts and Setsuna-san was talking about anchovies on pizza, and..." She put a hand to her mouth.
"Don't think about it. Just take a deep breath..."
"Hey, I like anchovies," Michiru said, coming out of the bathroom. "Oh, you might not want to go in there for awhile...gomen."
"You shouldn't have eaten so much candy, Usako." Usagi went in to throw up again, but instead, she passed out from the smell.
"It's not *that* bad," Michiru whined. "Is it, Haruka?"
"Usako!" Mamoru exclaimed, but soon he hit the deck.
Haruka only stared at her. "Nani yo?! Haruka!!! It's not like you smell like a daisy either, you know!"
"I didn't say anything!"
"Yes, but you gave me that *look*..." Michiru began to wail.
"Where's Usagi-chan?" Makoto asked. "Shimatta, what died in here!"
Michiru began to wail more. "You're all so cruel...I need more chocolate...Haruka, get me chocolate!"
"Hai hai... " she said running off As if on cue, Yuuichirou arrived with boxes full of chocolate. "I bought out...the entire store..." he puffed.
"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!" 9 girls screamed. Usagi had woken up by then... There was a mad dash for the box and Yuuchiriou was thrown outside.
Ami went to grab an Oh Henry , when Minako asked "What's that?" and pointed in the general direction of Ami.
"Oh NOOOO!" she wailed. "Don't tell me that I'm breaking out now too!" Ami began to cry as well.
"Yummy... Chocolate..." a male's voice was heard from outside. Setsuna, Haruka, and Makoto rushed out.
"Nooo..." Minako said, shaking her head as she packed Reese's Peanut Butter cups in her mouth. "Behind you!"
"Youma!" Setsuna yelled. "Minna, henshin yo!"
"Moon Eternal, Make up!"
Michiru stopped wailing when she realized everyone had left.
"Mercury Crystal Power, Make Up!"
"Mars Crystal Power, Make Up!"
"Jupiter Crystal Power, Make Up!"
"Venus Crystal Power, Make Up!"
"Uranus Planet Power, Make Up!"
"Neptune Planet Power, Make Up!"
"Pluto Planet Power, Make Up!"
"Saturn Planet Power, Make Up!"
"You chocolate stealing youma! Get away from there!" Sailor Moon hollered when it was edging towards their stash. "In the name of bloated, PMSing girls everywhere, leave that chocolate alone!"
"Trust me, you don't want to mess with PMS." Neptune glowered.
"We are the Sailor Team! Sailor Moon..."
"Sailor Mercury!"
"Sailor Mars!"
"Sailor Jupiter"
"Sailor Venus!"
"Sailor Uranus!"
"Sailor Neptune!"
"Sailor Pluto!"
"Sailor Saturn!"
"And I am Tuxedo Kamen, trust me, you don't want to mess with these girls!"
"And what is *that* supposed to mean?" Rei glared at him.
"Kakkoii!" Usagi said dreamily
"Who cares, he's right," Makoto exclaimed. She was beyond pissed.
"Who are you?" Haruka questioned.
"My name is Sato, youma for the Ikka no Kyande."
"The Ikka no Kyande?" Setsuna asked. She gasped a little when her cramps returned.
"Setsuna-mama? Need more Midol?"
"The Family of Candy... and I don't have time for this!" Sato hollered. "We need our chocolate!" Before anyone could attack, Sato chanted something. "Sticky goo, sticky goo, stick to something pure and true."
A sticky substance flowed from Sato's finger tips and onto the Senshi. Tuxedo Kamen had almost gotten away but soon, he was trapped as well. "Nani yo?" Usagi cried.
Sato laughed, grabbed the chocolate and was about to leave when Haruka stood up. She had removed some of the goo. "I don't think so..." For some reason, she had an urge to say something completely different than she was used to. "Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!" 'What the hell?' she thought.
"How dare you try and steal our chocolate?!" Venus was equally outraged. She managed to get free long enough to shout "Venus Love and Beauty Shock!"... but nothing happened.
Everyone looked at Venus and Uranus in shock. What was going on? Venus couldn't attack, and Uranus had used Mercury's.
"This is too weeeeeird!" Rei screamed.
Suddenly, they heard a male voice say, "Venus Love and Beauty Shock!"
Venus fell over in shock. MAMORU had her attack?! They all turned to see Tuxedo Kamen... wearing a fuku!?!? "Mamo-chan!" Usagi screeched.
"I... uh..." Just as Minako got back up, she fell over again. Him...in a fuku...
Pluto got up and decided to try her attack. "Jupiter Oak Evolution!" she said. "Nani yo!"
"Hey, that's mine!" Jupiter exclaimed. She felt some really strong powers within her. "Worldo Shaking!!!!!" Jupiter jumped up and down with excitement. "Sugoi!"
Saturn decided to try and use her glaive, but found a rose in her hand instead. "WHERE is my glaive?!" she screeched.
"Uh... in my hands." Usagi whispered. She lowered the glaive and poked Rei in the ass.
Mars groaned. "You klutz!"
"Ah, gomen!"
"Surrre..." Rei glared.
The youma just laughed at them, enjoying every minute of their confusion. Haruka was upset. "No offense, Mercury, but your attack sucks."
Rei felt an incredible power inside her "Starlight Honeymoon Therapy kiss!"
Usagi's eyes widened in shock. "Masaka..."
"SUGOI! I'm the new leader!" She was really upset that Rei had her attack... That meant that she had the Ginzuishou, the gift from her okaasan. A few tears escaped Usagi's eyes as the youma disappeared.
"Kuso!" Haruka exclaimed.
"Usagi-chan?" Ami looked concerned. She also wondered who's power she had. Then, Pluto's time staff appeared in her hands.
"You have the time staff, Ami-chan," Pluto said in amazement.
"I guess..." Ami's eyes lit up with fascination and she swung it around, ninja style.
"Ahem... minna... could we detransform and get me out of this thing?" Mamoru asked.
9 girls turned to look at Tuxedo Kamen, but could not do so without snickering wildly. Usagi momentarily forgot about Rei having her powers as they all headed inside.
"I rather like my new costume," Hotaru remarked.
"You look kakkoii, Hotaru," Haruka told her.
Michiru glared at Haruka again, and waved her fist threateningly. "If you don't stop flirting..."
"Kami, Michiru, she's 12 years old, I'm not flirting with her!"
"Yes, but when was the last time you told *me* I was kakkoii?" Michiru pouted.
"I tell you every night, Michiru," she replied with wink. "You know that."
"That's enough, you tw--" Rei stood up to stop Michiru and Haruka from arguing anymore, but then slumped down to the floor.
"Rei-chan!" Makoto said. "Daijobu?"
"Kami...I feel so weak all of a sudden. I want to take a nice long nap!"
Usagi watched silently. 'Now she knows why I'm always so tired.' Tears were threatening to fall.
"Ne, Usagi-chan, this must be why you fall asleep practically everywhere!"
"Un..."
"Usagi-chan? Want more chocolate?"
"No," Usagi said, shaking her head.
Minako was worried about the chocolate supply, but then became more concerned about her friend when she saw how dejected she looked. "Daijobu?"
Usagi didn't reply. "Is it 'cause I have your powers, Usagi-chan?" Rei asked.
Usagi nodded slowly. "They're part of... of my heritage. It's like I was stripped of my crown..."
"Hey, you can have them back anytime you want 'em! I thought it'd be fun to be the leader at first...but now I see what kind of power you deal with....and I'm happy to have my fire." Rei smiled at her friend. "Heyyyy, speaking of which, who *does* have my fire?"
"We should determine who has what power," Ami said.
"Well," Usagi spoke up, "I have Saturn's." She was really upset by this as well. How could she have gotten stuck with such a horrible thing.
"And I have Mamoru's," Hotaru said.
"And I have Minako-chan's..." Mamoru muttered.
"And I have..." Minako wasn't sure what powers she had, since she never attacked. But, then it came to her. "I have Neptune's!"
"I have Mercury's," Haruka said, pouting. Ami laughed. Finally, someone else could understand how it felt to be the weakest one...
"And I have your power, Rei-chan," Michiru said.
Makoto was the opposite of Haruka's feelings. "I have Haruka-san's!"
"I have Setsuna-san's," Ami exclaimed.
"And I have Mako-chan's," Setsuna said.
"Ne, Setsuna-san, does that mean that Ami-chan can travel through time?" Usagi wanted to know.
"Why Usagi-chan?" Ami asked.
"I was just curious..."
Setsuna shrugged. "I suppose so. Ami-chan, say, 'Time Portal Open'."
"I shouldn't abuse my powers..."
"You can open the portal," Setsuna explained. "As long as you don't enter, you're fine."
"Oh...all right then." Ami seemed pretty impressed with just holding the big key.
~~~~~~
Three weeks had passed since Ikka no Kyande had appeared. It was just about "that time of the month" again for the Senshi. And they were still royally pissed at the Sato the Youma, who they hadn't killed yet. They were all confused as to how their attacks were switched. Enventually they learned that it was caused by Sato's sticky good. And Mamoru... his face was permanently red.
Luna and Artemis were trying to run a strategy meeting at Rei's temple. At least the 9 girls could all be in a room together without (usually, anyway) wanting to kill each other. However, they had depleted the entire chocolate stash in Tokyo.
"Minna, we have got to stop the Ikka no Kyande!" Ami spoke up. "Or there won't be any chocolate in 30th Century Crystal Tokyo. And poor Usagi-chan won't be able to have any when she's pregnant with Chibiusa-chan."
"How exactly can we stop them?" Minako wondered.
"What do they want, besides chocolate?" Michiru asked.
"Nothing that I can think of," Haruka replied. No one could think of anything...
"Hey, maybe we can get some chocolate, poison it, and leave it for them!" Hotaru tried to be helpful.
"What a waste..." Makoto said.
"But, it might work," Setsuna replied.
"Luna, Artemis," Ami asked, "do you have any information about these youma?"
"Nothing of value, Ami-chan," Luna said. "I just know that they need chocolate to survive."
"Just like a few certain Senshi during *that* time of the month..." Artemis muttered.
"I just remembered something I heard on the news!" Usagi exclaimed, standing up.
Everyone turned to look at her. "You, news, Usagi-chan," Makoto laughed.
"Do tell, Usagi-chan!" Rei said, rolling her eyes.
Usagi stuck her tongue out at Makoto and Rei. "Anyway, there's a shipment of chocolate coming in from the US tonight at 10:30! We could hold it for ransom and make them switch our powers back! Then we can destroy them!"
"That's a SUGOI idea!" Minako exclaimed. "Only...how do we get near the chocolate?"
Mamoru looked at his girlfriend in shock. "You came up with that?" She nodded. "All by yourself?" Nod. "Just now?" Another nod. "Usako, fantastic!" He scooped her up and kissed her on the lips.
"We can teleport there," Haruka said. Turning to Usagi and Mamoru she said, "Get a room."
Michiru gave Haruka a look. "Nani? There was nothing wrong with that comment!"
"We can do that later as well."
"Oh..." Haruka replied with grin.
"Let's all transform, then teleport to the ship," Rei said.
"Hai!" everyone exclaimed.
"Moon Eternal, Make Up..." The rest of the Senshi transformed, then they used the Sailor Teleport to reach the chocolate.
~~~~~~~~
Arriving on the boat, the Senshi looked around. Usagi notice Mamoru had found him staring at his reflection. "Usako, does this fuku make me look fat?"
"Mamo-chan," Usagi groaned. He had become overly obsessed with his weight since becoming Sailor Venus...
"Usagi-chan, Mamoru-chan, the chocolate's this way," Makoto said.
"So, how do we know that the youma are even gonna show up?" Tuxedo Hotaru asked.
"If they're anything like our future Queen, they'll just know where the chocolate is!" Setsuna exclaimed.
"Setsuna-san!" Usagi cried. She expected a comment like that from Rei or even Makoto but never her!
"Well, it *does* have a ring of truth to it." Rei said.
"Shut up, Rei-chan!" Pppt! Rei stuck her tongue out at her. Usagi did the same.
"Hahaha, well if it isn't the Baka Sailor Senshi! You're just in time to meet you doom, Sailor Senshi."
"Who are you calling baka, Sato?" Mamoru growled.
The two youma couldn't hide their laughter. "Ahem... well everyone, I'd like you to meet my friend, Amai. Amai, meet the Senshi we're about to destroy."
"Charmed."
'This is really upsetting...' Mamoru thought.
"By the way, nice costume, buddy."
"Okay, now I'm pissed!" Mamoru exclaimed. "Venus Love and Beauty Shock!"
The Senshi were dying of laughter as they watched Mamoru "blowing a kiss" at the youma. After they calmed down, Usagi spoke up. "If you want this batch of chocolate, then you have to give us our powers back!"
"I can see how weak you two are without sugar to sustain you," Mercury said.
Sato thought about this. Only one of the two youma could give them their powers back. He knew it was Amai who could. He'd let the Senshi decide who to destroy. Amai looked over at Sato, and smiled evilly.
"Sailor Senshi-tachi, you have a choice. Kill me or kill Amai. Only one of us can help you switch back. Neither will say which. The choice is up to you. You must choose, choose wisely..."
"Sailor Moon? What do you think?"
"I'm thinking Amai can help us."
"I don't know, Odan--" Haruka looked at Michiru. "...Usagi-chan."
"Hmph." That was Michiru...
"Princess, I don't believe so either, but I have always backed you so I shall continue doing so," Setsuna said. Makoto and Mamoru nodded in agreement.
"Listen to your heart," Minako said. Ami agreed with her.
"And you know how I feel." Rei smiled.
Usagi nodded. "Rei-chan, kill Sato." Before she could, Sato and Amai attacked. Usagi saw their attack coming and screamed, "Silence Wall!"
"Now, Rei-chan!"
"Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss!"
"AHHH!!!!" Sato cried out. "Cavities!"
Amai was shocked. Damn those Senshi...how had they known? They had just sent his brother into the land of Dentists, and now they wanted him to give them their powers back?!
Usagi wielded the glaive. "You had better give us our powers back, Amai, or I shall destroy you." Everyone looked at Usagi in shock. Her voice was deep and scary.
He decided to try and trick them into handing over the chocolate. He was too weak to attack anymore, and he *needed* that chocolate to be able to defeat them... "Can I have just a bit of that chocolate before giving you your powers back? I promise, I won't try any weird tricks, you won fair and square. If I can have just a little...then your powers will be increased when I give them back to their rightful owners."
They were conferring quietly in a huddle. The Senshi looked at one another, uncertain of what to do. "Minna," Setsuna said, "I don't trust him."
"Nor do I," Said Tuxedo Hotaru
"I don't either," agreed Sailor Kamen
"I think we should let him," Makoto spoke up. She didn't want to go from extra strong to her old self again.
"No!" Usagi screeched.
"But Mako-chan, it could be a trick!"
"Still, I'll miss the time staff..."
"You're just jealous because you won't be stronger than me after this, ne, Mako-chan." Makoto glared at Haruka.
"This is no time for a pissing match, ladies!" Setsuna exclaimed.
"Pluto's right!" Rei said. "Let's get our powers back!"
"Hai!" Usagi said. She stepped in front of Amai. "No chocolate for you until we get our powers back."
"Please, not even a tiny little bit?" Amai made a sad puppy face. "I guess you don't want your powers then."
"Yes. We. Do." Usagi whispered evilly.
"Then, bring me chocolate!!!" That girl was so close to Amai. He mustered up most of his remaining energy, and blasted her as hard as he could.
She hit a crate of chocolate, precious chocolate, and it broke open! Usagi screamed in pain as the energy hit her square in the chest. She felt her back smack into something hard. It was the crate. She could feel the wood splinters pierce her back.
Amai flew towards the chocolate...needing it painfully.
"Usako!"
"Usagi-chan!"
"Odango!"
"Usagi-san!"
"Usagi!"
Usagi attempted to get up but the pain was too great. "Kutabare!" Rei yelled at Amai. "Give us back our powers now, or I'll turn you into cocoa powder!"
"Worldo Shaking!" Makoto cried out "Rei-chan, we can't destroy him until we get our powers straightened out," she said.
"Haaai." she groaned.
"Submarine Reflection!"
Mamoru ran over to Usagi. He was really pissed off with Amai. The youma had attacked his girlfriend. "That's it!"
"Whatcha gonna do, skirt boy?"
He stood up. "You nearly killed my girlfriend, and for that the Senshi of Love will not forgive you!" Sailor Kamen took a breath and shouted, "Venus Love and Beauty Shock!!!"
Venus shook her head sadly. The boy needed help...but at least he was getting rid of youma.
"Cavities!" Amai screamed as the attack hit, and then he was no more. He had been sent to the land of Dentists along with this brother.
Hotaru muttered as the tuxedo left, and her normal fuku returned. "Minna-san, I think everything is back to normal."
Usagi watched at the glaive disappeared and Mamoru sighed with relief as the fuku changed into a tuxedo and cape. Venus was also relieved, she wouldn't have to watch Mamoru-san blow kisses anymore.
The Senshi of the Moon slowly got up from the floor. Her fuku was tattered in the back and she felt a little weak. Mamoru ran to her.
"Kuso..." Makoto muttered under her breath. "This is going to suck!"
Rei was happy to return Usagi's power. She felt incredibly weak as well, and was glad that wasn't a normal occurrence.
"Daijobu, Usagi," Haruka asked.
Ami sighed as the time staff floated back to Pluto. She was gonna miss that thing...
"Un...or I will be in a few minutes..." The Ginzuishou returned to her and felt herself being healed by it's powers.
"Yokatte..." Mamoru said with smile. Everything was back to normal.
"Uggh," Michiru complained. "I feel bloated. Haruka, get me chocolate NOW!" Haruka rushed to the crate and grabbed some chocolate for her and Michiru. Everyone else followed suit.
Usagi looked from Mamoru to the chocolate. She smiled at Mamoru then pushed him to floor. "CHOCOLATE!"
Mamoru watched in sickening horror as the Sailor Senshi, who were supposed to save the world, sat on their knees shoving candy into their mouths. "Oi, it's going to be a long month..."
The End... Well, what did you think? Should we do another comedy? We had a lot of fun writing this, we hope you did reading! ^_^
~Emiri and Usa
Sato: sugar
Amai: sweet
Ikka no Kyande: Family of Candy
Authors: Emiri and Usa
Email Addys: Emiri--bunny_s_@hotmail.com and Usa--Usako0@aol.com
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All Sailor Moon characters are property of Takeuchi Naoko, Kodansha, TOEI Animations, and Bandai.
Author's Notes: This fic takes place after Stars. It's our attempt and humor and we think we did a pretty good job... Not that we're boasting... ^^;; The two title thing is kind of a tribute to Rocky and Bullwinkle. Emiri and I loved that show! Translations for some words is at the end of the fic. Enjoy!
Again, thanks Emiri, for a chou wonderful time! ~Usa
I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life writing this...makes me want chocolate. (^_~) ~Emiri
***********************************
It's *That* Time of the Month or...
The Ikka no Kyande Tempt Fate
***********************************
'That time of the month...' should have some meaning for young girls between the ages of 10 and 19. Older as well, but work with us here...
Men should particularly be aware during that time. One man comes to mind right now. Chiba Mamoru. The man was either brain dead or incredibly baka. He was in a small confining room with 9 girls... all during that time.
He was just about to leave when the girls began fighting. He decided that as the boyfriend of one of the girls, he should referee.
"Usagi-chan, do share some of that chocolate you're hoarding in your backpack," Rei said sweetly.
"Yes, or I'm afraid we'll have to kill for it," Minako added.
Usagi looked at Rei innocently. "What chocolate, Rei-chan?"
"Come on, Usagi-chan, I don't want to have to get nasty," Makoto growled.
"We all know about your stash, Usagi-chan, now fork it over! I got only 98% on a test today...I'm not in a good mood!" Ami looked like she was ready to attack. Usagi's eyes widened. She had never seen Ami so... scary.
Haruka joined in. "She's right, Odango. We need some sustenance."
Michiru's eyes widened as she realized what *her* Haruka had called Usagi. "Dear," she said, "I thought we agreed about calling people by their proper names."
Haruka just glared at Michiru. Michiru glared back. There was no way Haruka was going to flirt with Usagi in her presence and live to tell about it...
"If you don't hand it over, I'll destroy the world!" Hotaru was about to bring out the glaive.
Setsuna just groaned, lying on the bed.
"Hotaru-chan," Mamoru spoke up, "I have some chocolate." He fished a candy bar from his pocket. Mamoru told them that he had a chocolate bar in his pocket. Chou bad idea! 'Baka!' Mamoru thought.
"GIVE ME THAT BAR, MAMORU-SAN! NOW!" Makoto screamed, jumping for it. Mamoru threw the candy onto floor and got the hell out of there. Ami, Rei, and Minako all dove for the chocolate. Makoto and Haruka dove as well.
Setsuna just continued groaning on the bed. "Oi..."
Hotaru sat back and waited, knowing the chocolate would eventually come flying her way as everyone tried to grab it. Usagi, however, was munching happily on a Hershey bar with almonds. "Yum..."
"Hotaru-chan," Usagi called. "Here ya go!" She chucked a Krackle bar to her young friend.
Michiru's head whipped around. "You said yum...you *do* have chocolate!" She dove on top of Usagi. "Share!"
"Anyone want some Twix or Reese Cups?" Usagi asked. "But you gotta pay me!"
"I'll take both," Minako fumbled out of the pile. "NANI???"
Haruka chomped quietly on the Snickers bar Mamoru had tossed to them. It was nice being one of the strongest Senshi. Michiru ran over to Haruka. "SHARE!"
"Oh, I'll pay you all right..." Makoto said angrily.
"That's not a wise idea, Usagi-chan." Ami looked even more threatening than before.
Sweat dropping, Usagi handed Ami the Twix, Makoto some M&Ms, and Rei a Watchamacallit.
"Ne, Minako-chan, want anything?"
Ami, Makoto, and Rei retreated happily. "HAAI!" Minako responded. There was no way on earth that she'd refuse chocolate now!
Hotaru felt a *little* sorry for Setsuna, and walked over to the bed? "You want a piece?"
"Oh... go away, Hotaru..."
"I've got..." Usagi rummaged through her backpack, "an Almond Joy."
"OOH! I'll take that" Rei ran to grab it. Usagi shrugged and handed her that and Minako a Mars bar.
"Setsuna-san, would you like some candy?" Usagi asked.
"Only if it's chocolate covered Midol, Usagi-chan," came Setsuna's muffled reply.
"Ooh! I have extra strength Midol!" Minako offered. "I've got enough for everyone to have 2..."
Usagi was confused. She had never heard of that before. "What is that Minako-chan? Chou good candy?"
Everyone sweat dropped. "You don't know what Midol is?" Ami asked.
"No..."
"I envy you." Rei rolled her eyes and groaned. Her cramps were *killing* her.
"Hurry up with that Midol, Minako-chan!" Makoto said.
"Well, is anyone going to tell me?" Usagi asked
Setsuna just groaned again and held out her hand for the Midol.
"Midol is...the Goddess of medicine! It kills cramps, bloating and the caffeine gives you an energy boost!"
"Me too, Minako-chan!" Haruka said.
"Here!" Minako walked around, handing out the Midol to everyone.
"But I don't have cramps or bloating," Usagi complained. "But, I'd love an energy boost."
Rei, Minako, Ami, and Michiru looked ready to kill Usagi. "You're lucky, Usagi-chan..." Makoto muttered.
"You don't get bloated....you don't get cramps..." Usagi shook her head.
"I wonder if it has to do with her being the Moon Princess," Ami thought aloud.
"Well, in that case, I want to be the Moon Princess!" Rei whined.
"Probably," Setsuna said, trying to sit up. She failed and collapsed back onto the bed.
Hotaru went over to her. "Here, Setsuna-mama. You can have my Midol, I don't have bad cramps or bloating either." Setsuna grabbed the Midol out of Hotaru's hand. Two more wouldn't hurt...
"She's just lucky 'cause she's young," Minako muttered.
"Hai, hai," Makoto replied.
"Anyone else want more chocolate?" Rei offered. "And what about pizza and pop?"
Haruka decided she wanted to lie down. "Move over Pluto, Uranus needs to be comfortable."
"HAI!" everyone exclaimed, except Haruka and Setsuna. Michiru glared at Haruka. She went and sat between her and Setsuna.
"Good, 'cause I do too! YUUICHIROU!"
As if on cue, Mamoru arrived with five pizzas and Yuuchiriuo followed with several 2 liter bottles of pop. "Yes, Rei-sama?" He bowed slightly... "If you need anything else, just let me know..." Rei winked at the other girls. He was obviously well-trained, after dealing with her PMS for several years.
"Mamo-chan!" Usagi smiled. "Arigatou!" She stood on her tip toes to give him a kiss.
"Odango, get a room..." Haruka put a had to her mouth and looked at Michiru "G-gomen." Michiru hit Haruka. Hard. "MICHIRU!" she cried out. Then quietly added, "Save that for the bedroom." Michiru leaned over, grabbed Haruka's hand and dragged her out of the room, with everyone staring at them. She popped back in for a bottle of pop, and then left again.
"Pizza time, minna!" Usagi said. Everyone hoarded the boxes. Except Setsuna... she just continued to groan in pain.
"Good, I'm STARVING!" Minako exclaimed.
Rei went to grab for the last slice of Hawaiian pizza just as Usagi did... "No, Rei-chan, that's my slice!" Usagi growled.
"I don't think so, Odango Atama! *My* Yuuichirou brought it especially for *me!*"
"No, *My* Mamo-chan brought it for *ME*!"
"Well, it's my house, therefore I get it!"
"Well, I'm your Princess and your future Queen so you should give it to me!"
"Well, you don't suffer from cramps and bloating like the rest of us, so you don't have an excuse to be crabby!"
"Hang on guys," Minako said. "I know how to settle this." The two looked at Minako. "Here, give me the slice and a knife."
Usagi didn't trust Minako at all. "Uh..." She grabbed it and stuffed it into her mouth.
"RATS! I wanted that!" Minako said, disappointed that she had failed .
"Bis is chou bood!" (translation: "This is chou good!")
"Usagi! I wanted that!" Rei jumped on Usagi. "Give me half!!!"
"Usagi-chan..." Makoto said.
Usagi then began choking on the pizza. She could barely breathe. "Serves you right." Rei slid off and stuck her tongue out at her. Usagi pointed to her throat and fell to the floor.
"Oh my god! Usagi-chan!" Ami cried out. She rushed over, ready to perform CPR.
Setsuna jumped up, ignoring her pain. "Kami-sama!"
"Does this mean I can have the rest of your chocolate, Usagi-chan?..."
"Minako!"
Just before Ami put her mouth over Usagi's, a grin spread on the girl's face. Usagi began laughing. "Usagi-chan, you...faker!" Ami sputtered.
"That was cruel!" Makoto told her.
"Just for that, I get the rest of your M&Ms!" Hotaru said.
Haruka and Michiru popped back in. "Did we hear M&Ms being mentioned?"
"Usagi-chan, so help me..." Setsuna said, rushing over to her. The Senshi of Time was about to choke the life out of Usagi herself.
"Setsuna-san!" Haruka exclaimed, grabbing her arm.
"Setsuna-mama...I thought your cramps hurt too much for you to move."
"They did, until Usagi scared the shit out of me."
"So your cramps are gone now?"
"Not really, but they're not as bad as before."
Usagi swallowed the last bit of pizza. "G-gomen..."
"Hey, I think we found a new cure for cramps," Rei exclaimed.
"What?" Makoto asked. "Have someone choke on pizza?"
"No...scaring the shit out of someone!"
"Oi..." Haruka muttered, going back outside.
"Ugh...did you have to say that?" Michiru wrinkled up her nose, then suddenly making a mad dash for the toilet.
"YUUICHIROU!"
"I want some chocolate," Setsuna said. "I'm ready. I NEED CHOCOLATE!"
He got there in about 0.2 seconds after Rei had yelled. "Yes, Rei-sama?"
"We need more chocolate. NOW. Buy whatever the store has, get it all! Now GO!!!"
"And you'd better be back in 5 minutes!" Makoto threatened.
"Make that 4 and a half! I'll end the world if I don't get more chocolate!" Yuuichirou ran off like a bat out of hell.
Setsuna spotted a piece of smashed Snickers on the floor. 'Hmm... I can't wait...' She went straight to the candy, scooped it up off the floor and popped it in her mouth. "Mmmm..."
"Were you *that* desperate you couldn't wait another 4 1/2 minutes?" Minako asked.
Hotaru watched them all with big eyes. She hoped that she was never *that* bad.
Setsuna nodded. "I was in too much pain to eat anything earlier!" she protested. She just wanted the chocolate cause it was yummy... "And you guys ate all the pizza..."
"You didn't get *any*?"
"No." Usagi's face was red and she hid behind Makoto.
Rei was about to yell for Yuuichirou again, when she remembered that he was gone. "Damn! I want more pizza too!" She glared through Makoto.
"Usagi-chan, Setsuna-san could have had that last slice of pizza you stole," Makoto explained.
"It's all right, lets just order some," Setsuna replied. "... with anchovies and chocolate and ice cream..." Usagi's face turned from red to green and she ran for the bathroom.
"Good idea! I'm STARVING," Ami replied. "And I need more chocolate too...I'm getting depressed 'cause of my lousy score on the test."
Michiru was still in the bathroom, but Usagi couldn't wait and threw up right onto Mamoru, who was waiting his turn. "Usako!"
"Gomen, Mamo-chan... My stomach hurts and Setsuna-san was talking about anchovies on pizza, and..." She put a hand to her mouth.
"Don't think about it. Just take a deep breath..."
"Hey, I like anchovies," Michiru said, coming out of the bathroom. "Oh, you might not want to go in there for awhile...gomen."
"You shouldn't have eaten so much candy, Usako." Usagi went in to throw up again, but instead, she passed out from the smell.
"It's not *that* bad," Michiru whined. "Is it, Haruka?"
"Usako!" Mamoru exclaimed, but soon he hit the deck.
Haruka only stared at her. "Nani yo?! Haruka!!! It's not like you smell like a daisy either, you know!"
"I didn't say anything!"
"Yes, but you gave me that *look*..." Michiru began to wail.
"Where's Usagi-chan?" Makoto asked. "Shimatta, what died in here!"
Michiru began to wail more. "You're all so cruel...I need more chocolate...Haruka, get me chocolate!"
"Hai hai... " she said running off As if on cue, Yuuichirou arrived with boxes full of chocolate. "I bought out...the entire store..." he puffed.
"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!" 9 girls screamed. Usagi had woken up by then... There was a mad dash for the box and Yuuchiriou was thrown outside.
Ami went to grab an Oh Henry , when Minako asked "What's that?" and pointed in the general direction of Ami.
"Oh NOOOO!" she wailed. "Don't tell me that I'm breaking out now too!" Ami began to cry as well.
"Yummy... Chocolate..." a male's voice was heard from outside. Setsuna, Haruka, and Makoto rushed out.
"Nooo..." Minako said, shaking her head as she packed Reese's Peanut Butter cups in her mouth. "Behind you!"
"Youma!" Setsuna yelled. "Minna, henshin yo!"
"Moon Eternal, Make up!"
Michiru stopped wailing when she realized everyone had left.
"Mercury Crystal Power, Make Up!"
"Mars Crystal Power, Make Up!"
"Jupiter Crystal Power, Make Up!"
"Venus Crystal Power, Make Up!"
"Uranus Planet Power, Make Up!"
"Neptune Planet Power, Make Up!"
"Pluto Planet Power, Make Up!"
"Saturn Planet Power, Make Up!"
"You chocolate stealing youma! Get away from there!" Sailor Moon hollered when it was edging towards their stash. "In the name of bloated, PMSing girls everywhere, leave that chocolate alone!"
"Trust me, you don't want to mess with PMS." Neptune glowered.
"We are the Sailor Team! Sailor Moon..."
"Sailor Mercury!"
"Sailor Mars!"
"Sailor Jupiter"
"Sailor Venus!"
"Sailor Uranus!"
"Sailor Neptune!"
"Sailor Pluto!"
"Sailor Saturn!"
"And I am Tuxedo Kamen, trust me, you don't want to mess with these girls!"
"And what is *that* supposed to mean?" Rei glared at him.
"Kakkoii!" Usagi said dreamily
"Who cares, he's right," Makoto exclaimed. She was beyond pissed.
"Who are you?" Haruka questioned.
"My name is Sato, youma for the Ikka no Kyande."
"The Ikka no Kyande?" Setsuna asked. She gasped a little when her cramps returned.
"Setsuna-mama? Need more Midol?"
"The Family of Candy... and I don't have time for this!" Sato hollered. "We need our chocolate!" Before anyone could attack, Sato chanted something. "Sticky goo, sticky goo, stick to something pure and true."
A sticky substance flowed from Sato's finger tips and onto the Senshi. Tuxedo Kamen had almost gotten away but soon, he was trapped as well. "Nani yo?" Usagi cried.
Sato laughed, grabbed the chocolate and was about to leave when Haruka stood up. She had removed some of the goo. "I don't think so..." For some reason, she had an urge to say something completely different than she was used to. "Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!" 'What the hell?' she thought.
"How dare you try and steal our chocolate?!" Venus was equally outraged. She managed to get free long enough to shout "Venus Love and Beauty Shock!"... but nothing happened.
Everyone looked at Venus and Uranus in shock. What was going on? Venus couldn't attack, and Uranus had used Mercury's.
"This is too weeeeeird!" Rei screamed.
Suddenly, they heard a male voice say, "Venus Love and Beauty Shock!"
Venus fell over in shock. MAMORU had her attack?! They all turned to see Tuxedo Kamen... wearing a fuku!?!? "Mamo-chan!" Usagi screeched.
"I... uh..." Just as Minako got back up, she fell over again. Him...in a fuku...
Pluto got up and decided to try her attack. "Jupiter Oak Evolution!" she said. "Nani yo!"
"Hey, that's mine!" Jupiter exclaimed. She felt some really strong powers within her. "Worldo Shaking!!!!!" Jupiter jumped up and down with excitement. "Sugoi!"
Saturn decided to try and use her glaive, but found a rose in her hand instead. "WHERE is my glaive?!" she screeched.
"Uh... in my hands." Usagi whispered. She lowered the glaive and poked Rei in the ass.
Mars groaned. "You klutz!"
"Ah, gomen!"
"Surrre..." Rei glared.
The youma just laughed at them, enjoying every minute of their confusion. Haruka was upset. "No offense, Mercury, but your attack sucks."
Rei felt an incredible power inside her "Starlight Honeymoon Therapy kiss!"
Usagi's eyes widened in shock. "Masaka..."
"SUGOI! I'm the new leader!" She was really upset that Rei had her attack... That meant that she had the Ginzuishou, the gift from her okaasan. A few tears escaped Usagi's eyes as the youma disappeared.
"Kuso!" Haruka exclaimed.
"Usagi-chan?" Ami looked concerned. She also wondered who's power she had. Then, Pluto's time staff appeared in her hands.
"You have the time staff, Ami-chan," Pluto said in amazement.
"I guess..." Ami's eyes lit up with fascination and she swung it around, ninja style.
"Ahem... minna... could we detransform and get me out of this thing?" Mamoru asked.
9 girls turned to look at Tuxedo Kamen, but could not do so without snickering wildly. Usagi momentarily forgot about Rei having her powers as they all headed inside.
"I rather like my new costume," Hotaru remarked.
"You look kakkoii, Hotaru," Haruka told her.
Michiru glared at Haruka again, and waved her fist threateningly. "If you don't stop flirting..."
"Kami, Michiru, she's 12 years old, I'm not flirting with her!"
"Yes, but when was the last time you told *me* I was kakkoii?" Michiru pouted.
"I tell you every night, Michiru," she replied with wink. "You know that."
"That's enough, you tw--" Rei stood up to stop Michiru and Haruka from arguing anymore, but then slumped down to the floor.
"Rei-chan!" Makoto said. "Daijobu?"
"Kami...I feel so weak all of a sudden. I want to take a nice long nap!"
Usagi watched silently. 'Now she knows why I'm always so tired.' Tears were threatening to fall.
"Ne, Usagi-chan, this must be why you fall asleep practically everywhere!"
"Un..."
"Usagi-chan? Want more chocolate?"
"No," Usagi said, shaking her head.
Minako was worried about the chocolate supply, but then became more concerned about her friend when she saw how dejected she looked. "Daijobu?"
Usagi didn't reply. "Is it 'cause I have your powers, Usagi-chan?" Rei asked.
Usagi nodded slowly. "They're part of... of my heritage. It's like I was stripped of my crown..."
"Hey, you can have them back anytime you want 'em! I thought it'd be fun to be the leader at first...but now I see what kind of power you deal with....and I'm happy to have my fire." Rei smiled at her friend. "Heyyyy, speaking of which, who *does* have my fire?"
"We should determine who has what power," Ami said.
"Well," Usagi spoke up, "I have Saturn's." She was really upset by this as well. How could she have gotten stuck with such a horrible thing.
"And I have Mamoru's," Hotaru said.
"And I have Minako-chan's..." Mamoru muttered.
"And I have..." Minako wasn't sure what powers she had, since she never attacked. But, then it came to her. "I have Neptune's!"
"I have Mercury's," Haruka said, pouting. Ami laughed. Finally, someone else could understand how it felt to be the weakest one...
"And I have your power, Rei-chan," Michiru said.
Makoto was the opposite of Haruka's feelings. "I have Haruka-san's!"
"I have Setsuna-san's," Ami exclaimed.
"And I have Mako-chan's," Setsuna said.
"Ne, Setsuna-san, does that mean that Ami-chan can travel through time?" Usagi wanted to know.
"Why Usagi-chan?" Ami asked.
"I was just curious..."
Setsuna shrugged. "I suppose so. Ami-chan, say, 'Time Portal Open'."
"I shouldn't abuse my powers..."
"You can open the portal," Setsuna explained. "As long as you don't enter, you're fine."
"Oh...all right then." Ami seemed pretty impressed with just holding the big key.
~~~~~~
Three weeks had passed since Ikka no Kyande had appeared. It was just about "that time of the month" again for the Senshi. And they were still royally pissed at the Sato the Youma, who they hadn't killed yet. They were all confused as to how their attacks were switched. Enventually they learned that it was caused by Sato's sticky good. And Mamoru... his face was permanently red.
Luna and Artemis were trying to run a strategy meeting at Rei's temple. At least the 9 girls could all be in a room together without (usually, anyway) wanting to kill each other. However, they had depleted the entire chocolate stash in Tokyo.
"Minna, we have got to stop the Ikka no Kyande!" Ami spoke up. "Or there won't be any chocolate in 30th Century Crystal Tokyo. And poor Usagi-chan won't be able to have any when she's pregnant with Chibiusa-chan."
"How exactly can we stop them?" Minako wondered.
"What do they want, besides chocolate?" Michiru asked.
"Nothing that I can think of," Haruka replied. No one could think of anything...
"Hey, maybe we can get some chocolate, poison it, and leave it for them!" Hotaru tried to be helpful.
"What a waste..." Makoto said.
"But, it might work," Setsuna replied.
"Luna, Artemis," Ami asked, "do you have any information about these youma?"
"Nothing of value, Ami-chan," Luna said. "I just know that they need chocolate to survive."
"Just like a few certain Senshi during *that* time of the month..." Artemis muttered.
"I just remembered something I heard on the news!" Usagi exclaimed, standing up.
Everyone turned to look at her. "You, news, Usagi-chan," Makoto laughed.
"Do tell, Usagi-chan!" Rei said, rolling her eyes.
Usagi stuck her tongue out at Makoto and Rei. "Anyway, there's a shipment of chocolate coming in from the US tonight at 10:30! We could hold it for ransom and make them switch our powers back! Then we can destroy them!"
"That's a SUGOI idea!" Minako exclaimed. "Only...how do we get near the chocolate?"
Mamoru looked at his girlfriend in shock. "You came up with that?" She nodded. "All by yourself?" Nod. "Just now?" Another nod. "Usako, fantastic!" He scooped her up and kissed her on the lips.
"We can teleport there," Haruka said. Turning to Usagi and Mamoru she said, "Get a room."
Michiru gave Haruka a look. "Nani? There was nothing wrong with that comment!"
"We can do that later as well."
"Oh..." Haruka replied with grin.
"Let's all transform, then teleport to the ship," Rei said.
"Hai!" everyone exclaimed.
"Moon Eternal, Make Up..." The rest of the Senshi transformed, then they used the Sailor Teleport to reach the chocolate.
~~~~~~~~
Arriving on the boat, the Senshi looked around. Usagi notice Mamoru had found him staring at his reflection. "Usako, does this fuku make me look fat?"
"Mamo-chan," Usagi groaned. He had become overly obsessed with his weight since becoming Sailor Venus...
"Usagi-chan, Mamoru-chan, the chocolate's this way," Makoto said.
"So, how do we know that the youma are even gonna show up?" Tuxedo Hotaru asked.
"If they're anything like our future Queen, they'll just know where the chocolate is!" Setsuna exclaimed.
"Setsuna-san!" Usagi cried. She expected a comment like that from Rei or even Makoto but never her!
"Well, it *does* have a ring of truth to it." Rei said.
"Shut up, Rei-chan!" Pppt! Rei stuck her tongue out at her. Usagi did the same.
"Hahaha, well if it isn't the Baka Sailor Senshi! You're just in time to meet you doom, Sailor Senshi."
"Who are you calling baka, Sato?" Mamoru growled.
The two youma couldn't hide their laughter. "Ahem... well everyone, I'd like you to meet my friend, Amai. Amai, meet the Senshi we're about to destroy."
"Charmed."
'This is really upsetting...' Mamoru thought.
"By the way, nice costume, buddy."
"Okay, now I'm pissed!" Mamoru exclaimed. "Venus Love and Beauty Shock!"
The Senshi were dying of laughter as they watched Mamoru "blowing a kiss" at the youma. After they calmed down, Usagi spoke up. "If you want this batch of chocolate, then you have to give us our powers back!"
"I can see how weak you two are without sugar to sustain you," Mercury said.
Sato thought about this. Only one of the two youma could give them their powers back. He knew it was Amai who could. He'd let the Senshi decide who to destroy. Amai looked over at Sato, and smiled evilly.
"Sailor Senshi-tachi, you have a choice. Kill me or kill Amai. Only one of us can help you switch back. Neither will say which. The choice is up to you. You must choose, choose wisely..."
"Sailor Moon? What do you think?"
"I'm thinking Amai can help us."
"I don't know, Odan--" Haruka looked at Michiru. "...Usagi-chan."
"Hmph." That was Michiru...
"Princess, I don't believe so either, but I have always backed you so I shall continue doing so," Setsuna said. Makoto and Mamoru nodded in agreement.
"Listen to your heart," Minako said. Ami agreed with her.
"And you know how I feel." Rei smiled.
Usagi nodded. "Rei-chan, kill Sato." Before she could, Sato and Amai attacked. Usagi saw their attack coming and screamed, "Silence Wall!"
"Now, Rei-chan!"
"Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss!"
"AHHH!!!!" Sato cried out. "Cavities!"
Amai was shocked. Damn those Senshi...how had they known? They had just sent his brother into the land of Dentists, and now they wanted him to give them their powers back?!
Usagi wielded the glaive. "You had better give us our powers back, Amai, or I shall destroy you." Everyone looked at Usagi in shock. Her voice was deep and scary.
He decided to try and trick them into handing over the chocolate. He was too weak to attack anymore, and he *needed* that chocolate to be able to defeat them... "Can I have just a bit of that chocolate before giving you your powers back? I promise, I won't try any weird tricks, you won fair and square. If I can have just a little...then your powers will be increased when I give them back to their rightful owners."
They were conferring quietly in a huddle. The Senshi looked at one another, uncertain of what to do. "Minna," Setsuna said, "I don't trust him."
"Nor do I," Said Tuxedo Hotaru
"I don't either," agreed Sailor Kamen
"I think we should let him," Makoto spoke up. She didn't want to go from extra strong to her old self again.
"No!" Usagi screeched.
"But Mako-chan, it could be a trick!"
"Still, I'll miss the time staff..."
"You're just jealous because you won't be stronger than me after this, ne, Mako-chan." Makoto glared at Haruka.
"This is no time for a pissing match, ladies!" Setsuna exclaimed.
"Pluto's right!" Rei said. "Let's get our powers back!"
"Hai!" Usagi said. She stepped in front of Amai. "No chocolate for you until we get our powers back."
"Please, not even a tiny little bit?" Amai made a sad puppy face. "I guess you don't want your powers then."
"Yes. We. Do." Usagi whispered evilly.
"Then, bring me chocolate!!!" That girl was so close to Amai. He mustered up most of his remaining energy, and blasted her as hard as he could.
She hit a crate of chocolate, precious chocolate, and it broke open! Usagi screamed in pain as the energy hit her square in the chest. She felt her back smack into something hard. It was the crate. She could feel the wood splinters pierce her back.
Amai flew towards the chocolate...needing it painfully.
"Usako!"
"Usagi-chan!"
"Odango!"
"Usagi-san!"
"Usagi!"
Usagi attempted to get up but the pain was too great. "Kutabare!" Rei yelled at Amai. "Give us back our powers now, or I'll turn you into cocoa powder!"
"Worldo Shaking!" Makoto cried out "Rei-chan, we can't destroy him until we get our powers straightened out," she said.
"Haaai." she groaned.
"Submarine Reflection!"
Mamoru ran over to Usagi. He was really pissed off with Amai. The youma had attacked his girlfriend. "That's it!"
"Whatcha gonna do, skirt boy?"
He stood up. "You nearly killed my girlfriend, and for that the Senshi of Love will not forgive you!" Sailor Kamen took a breath and shouted, "Venus Love and Beauty Shock!!!"
Venus shook her head sadly. The boy needed help...but at least he was getting rid of youma.
"Cavities!" Amai screamed as the attack hit, and then he was no more. He had been sent to the land of Dentists along with this brother.
Hotaru muttered as the tuxedo left, and her normal fuku returned. "Minna-san, I think everything is back to normal."
Usagi watched at the glaive disappeared and Mamoru sighed with relief as the fuku changed into a tuxedo and cape. Venus was also relieved, she wouldn't have to watch Mamoru-san blow kisses anymore.
The Senshi of the Moon slowly got up from the floor. Her fuku was tattered in the back and she felt a little weak. Mamoru ran to her.
"Kuso..." Makoto muttered under her breath. "This is going to suck!"
Rei was happy to return Usagi's power. She felt incredibly weak as well, and was glad that wasn't a normal occurrence.
"Daijobu, Usagi," Haruka asked.
Ami sighed as the time staff floated back to Pluto. She was gonna miss that thing...
"Un...or I will be in a few minutes..." The Ginzuishou returned to her and felt herself being healed by it's powers.
"Yokatte..." Mamoru said with smile. Everything was back to normal.
"Uggh," Michiru complained. "I feel bloated. Haruka, get me chocolate NOW!" Haruka rushed to the crate and grabbed some chocolate for her and Michiru. Everyone else followed suit.
Usagi looked from Mamoru to the chocolate. She smiled at Mamoru then pushed him to floor. "CHOCOLATE!"
Mamoru watched in sickening horror as the Sailor Senshi, who were supposed to save the world, sat on their knees shoving candy into their mouths. "Oi, it's going to be a long month..."
The End... Well, what did you think? Should we do another comedy? We had a lot of fun writing this, we hope you did reading! ^_^
~Emiri and Usa
Sato: sugar
Amai: sweet
Ikka no Kyande: Family of Candy