A/N Hello friends! It's been a while but I'm still around. Have only had time for reading as of late but I've come up with this one. It's not super long (4-5 chapters) and it's about halfway typed already so there shouldn't be long gaps between chapters. Hope you're enjoying the new season as much as I am. :o)

Disclaimer: I don't won TM or any of it's characters (Though right about know I would love to know what goes on in Heller's mind).

Summary: Things should have been better for Jane post Red John but instead he took a giant leap backwards. What happened to get the consultant stuck on such a hopeless loop and what will it take to knock him off of it?

Rating: T

Where I Belong

The tree to the left-hand side of the park trail was just out of sight to any passerby though the sun had nearly set. No one in their right mind would venture up the long path that overlooked the city at this time in the evening. The bent trunk of the tree reflected the last rays of sunlight as the bright orb dipped below the distant buildings. The sparse leaves on the tree's few gnarly branches glowed a faint orange stretching desperately towards the fading light.

Patrick Jane sat at the base of the tree, watching as the scene below transformed from day to night, the city eventually winning its struggle for dominance. There was a slight breeze from the west. It was a nice change from the stifling dry winds that typically blew in from the south at this time of year.

Jane closed his eyes, concentrating on the distant sounds of traffic. He shouldn't have come up here tonight. He was nearly out of cash save for the few quarters jangling in his pocket from the last time he had done laundry. If he wanted to eat tomorrow, he would have to come up with some money in the morning, not that he would have a hard time finding any. Ok, so maybe that wasn't entirely true considering his last attempt.

A mere three hours prior, he had been doing considerably well for himself after challenging a few guys at a nearby dive to a game of poker. His mistake hadn't been in his game play but in challenging semi-inebriated locals. Unfortunately, Jane failed to consider the fact that some men are sore losers and alcohol only tended to make those particular types even angrier. He had been quite ready to back away. After all, he had acquired a fairly sizeable pot in the small amount of time. He would have made it out the door too since grumpy was fairly slow on his feet if it wasn't for the guy's buddies getting involved. Grumpy and his three goons quickly assessed that Jane didn't have a fighting bone in his body and he was quickly thrown out of the bar. He landed on his hands and knees, cutting his right palm on a piece of glass and scuffing his already dirty pants. His left shirt sleeve was ripped where the men had tugged at his arm. If only they had asked nicely for him to leave.

With no money and little other options, Jane had returned to the park. He stopped at the taco truck at the park's entrance and asked for a couple of napkins for the hand. He almost wished he had avoided the truck as the smells wafting from the vehicle made his stomach growl hungrily. It took about a half an hour to walk the path through the wooded area and up the hill to one of the many overlooks in the area. He found his usual spot against the old tree and slid down it.

Looking down at his hand now in the faint glow from the city, Jane peeled the napkin off. The hand throbbed but at least the cut was no longer bleeding. By now, Jane could make out a few stars in the ever darkening sky. It was one of the reasons he came up here so often. Here, just outside the city limits, the stars were clearly visible at night. Sometimes, he would catch a shooting star as it briefly darted across the sky before fading out somewhere in the atmosphere. Occasionally a rainstorm would hover over the ocean, barely within sight. Bolts of lightning would illuminate the distant clouds like far off camera flashes. Closer, about halfway between the shoreline and where Jane sat, he could faintly make out the red brick and familiar balcony of the CBI building. He wouldn't have even known it was there if Lisbon hadn't pointed it out when she had shown him this spot.

That was the other reason Jane chose to come here so often. This was Lisbon's trail, the one he knew she ran in the afternoons or early evenings whenever she got home in enough time though never at night because it was too dangerous. He left early every morning assuring that they would never cross paths.

A flash crossed overhead. Jane caught the last moments of the shooting star before it disappeared behind him. He sometimes wondered what it would be like to be a shooting star, to be pulled to the earth by the force of gravity. It would only take a few steps. A few feet and gravity would take over, his light would flicker out like a flame in a strong breeze.

Jane was pulled from his thoughts by a sound to his left. He squinted into the darkness but couldn't see anything. Finally, he caught a flash of white, low to the ground. His mind swarmed with what it could be. His first thought was coyote because he knew the animals frequented the park. That, and he often heard their howls in the distance at night but he didn't think there were white coyotes.

The animal stepped out of the shadows and Jane could clearly see that it wasn't a coyote but he had been close. The dog, a white pit bull mix of some kind stayed pretty close to the trail. At first glance, he could tell the dog was female and that she had given birth to a litter of puppies at some point. The dog was nearly emaciated and he silently hoped she wasn't still nursing pups since she looked like she could barely sustain her own health. Jane shifted and the dog looked up, straight at Jane. The hairs on the back of the dog's neck stuck up. Her tail shot between her legs and she began to growl softly.

Jane made no further movements and after a couple of tense moments, the stare-down ended and the dog slipped back into the shadows. He sighed in relief, heart still pounding in his chest as he leaned back against the trunk of the tree. Eventually the dull thrum of noises from the city below calmed him enough to slip into a light doze under the starlight.

TBC

What do you think is going on? Why is Jane sleeping in the park? You'll have to wait to find out. (Hey, it can't be any worse than waiting for 6x02 :P )