Disclaimer: I really, really don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Note 1: Just so no one comes into this fic expecting something they're not going to get, this is not a Kara/Ward story. While I find their dynamic interesting, the writers ultimately failed to make me believe in a romantic relationship between them (especially on Ward's part). That, and I'm a hopeless shipper for Skyeward, even if the writers seem have filled that ship with so many holes that it's resting on the bottom of the fandom ocean. While not everything I write has to be Skyeward (whether or not this will be Skyeward remains up in the air), I can't bring myself to write either Ward or Skye in a happy relationship with anyone else.

Note 2: Rather than cover Kara's time with S.H.I.E.L.D. prior to the main part of the story, which would cover a lot of time and not really be entirely relevant, I'm going to take a flashback/main story model. Each chapter, until we're done covering the relevant parts of her time with S.H.I.E.L.D. before the actual part of the story will include a flashback, and then include the main part of the story happening in 2019.

Note 3: For the purposes of this fic, the events of 2x20, 2x21 and 2x22 happened as they did in canon, with the obvious exception of the Kara and Ward kidnapping and torturing Bobbi scenes (and what followed after that) and, since I don't know what the plan with Simmons getting sucked into the Kree stone is, I'm going to say that didn't happen either.

Obviously, this is AU for whatever the hell happens in Season 3, just starting with the 'Ward didn't take over Hydra' thing and going from there (Kara's still alive, and since I don't know what they have planned, I can't take it into account).

Note 4: I'm going to mention this once here: For the interested, I have a Tumblr, alkenifanction . tumblr . com where I provide sneak peaks, chapter excerpts, writing updates and meta-discussions on fandoms I write fic in. This is all rather infrequent, but it is there if you're interested. If not, on with the fic!

Thanks to my beta-readers, LisaMichelle25 and Riley Holden/Colormeblue

Enough Good Left After All

By Alkeni

Chapter 1: Four Years Later

Infirmary, The Playground

April 30th, 2015

When Coulson told her that Grant wasn't coming back, Kara let herself seem hurt, disbelieving, surprised. She yelled at Coulson, saying that the truth had to be something else, that he wouldn't just abandon her. It was part of the act, part of the plan. She accused them of turning on him, killing him as soon as he was no longer useful.

It was only when Coulson told her what Grant had said that her disbelief started to be genuine. Telling Coulson that there wasn't enough good left in him to 'fix' her, that he believed she should have what was taken from her back, that she shouldn't be held responsible for his actions. That wasn't part of the plan. Bakshi being killed wasn't part of the plan either. He was supposed to make it – at least for their plan to go the way they'd intended. He was going to die, but not – not yet...

It didn't mean she couldn't still do her part. She could wait for the opening, send the signal to Grant and take Barbara Morse. She still had May's face in her mask's memory. Once she had her, once she was there, together they could make Morse pay. They could make her pay for what she did. She could finally put this behind her, find closure... And then Grant and she...

We can finally be together.

That last thought was a lie. She knew it, even as she desperately clung to the hope that it was true. The dying, tattered hope that Grant really did love her, that he really did return her feelings.

But he didn't. As much as he'd tried to deny it, as much as she'd been willing to lie to herself and believe his words, the only person Grant loved was that murderous, backstabbing freak who shot him from behind and left him for dead. She'd believe him at first when he'd said that Skye's shooting him in the back had made it clear that she didn't love him, and that he'd moved on. That he wasn't so crazy as to keep on loving her.

Kara was fairly sure she'd actually let herself believe it because that's what she wanted to hear. And Grant... he was trying to convince himself as much as her. Trying to make himself believe that he didn't love her anymore. But he did.

What is so great about her that he still loves her, even after all that she did to him? After she rejected him time and again, shot him and left him for dead... Why does he still love her, when I was the one who was there for him? When I saved him and accepted him for who he was? Kara couldn't help but hate the girl named Skye.

But – all that wasn't the issue now. She could confront him about it after they were done with Agent Morse. After they were done with the plan.

The plan that Grant had for some reason now rejected.

Though they had confiscated her weapons when she'd come onto the base, they hadn't taken her phone. It was an oversight she was sure, and one they would correct shortly, but it was an oversight she was grateful for as she felt it vibrate against her leg. The infirmary was empty. There was a guard at the door, but on the outside. Kars was the only patient – Mike Peterson had been taken out, and delivered to a different S.H.I.E.L.D. facility with better care for what he needed and more space for long-term care.

She looked at the phone and let relief fill her.

"Grant!" She didn't bother to hide her relief, her concern. "Are you alright? Did something happen? Why did you say-"

Grant interrupted her. His voice was calm, level, but she could tell there was something wrong, that he was...upset wasn't quite the word, but it seemed the only one she could think of.

"Something happened, yeah. I suppose I should have expected it, or something like it, but I didn't." He paused, but only for a moment "Simmons tried to kill me. She was about to throw a splinter bomb at my back. Bakshi got in the way, saved me, but ended up taking the bomb instead."

"Simmons? The Doctor!? She tried to kill you?" The...guilty expression on the British woman's face made sense now. Kara clenched her empty fist, but Grant, picking up on the anger in her voice, kept talking.

"Don't do anything to her. She didn't succeed, and it isn't like I didn't do enough to deserve it." His tone was flat now, emotionless, like it almost always got when talking about what he'd done to his former team.

"Grant! That's not true! You don't deserve to die. You're not-" Once again, Grant interrupted her, and she felt a flash of anger at him, wishing he'd just let her finish her sentences.

"I'm a murderer and a traitor. I meant what I said to Coulson. There isn't enough good in me to help you. I thought..." He let his voice trail off, a low breath escaping his lips. When he spoke again, there was a strangled note in his voice. "I thought...I thought that if I could help you find yourself, find closure, recover from what Hydra did to you, it would mean that there really was something left in me. That I wasn't just a hollow shell. That there was some good left in me after all that I've done."

"Grant!" Kara insisted, trying to get him to understand, to get him to see reason. "There is! You helped me. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even know my name, I wouldn't have my own face, I wouldn't be able to do any of the things that you've helped me do in the last few months." Kara lowered her voice, "Without you, I wouldn't know who sold me out and left me in Hydra's hands. Thanks to you, I can find closure." Thanks to you, the nightmares are less frequent, less terrible.

"That's the problem, Kara. I can't turn you into me. I made my choices, and yes, killing my brother and my parents got me closure. Forcing Christian to admit what he did to me the way I did...it was closure. But it came with a cost. Torturing Morse until she apologizes and then killing her...that will come with a cost too. It isn't going to help you get better. It's just going to make you more like me. You deserve better than that. I was never a good person. You were. You had that taken from you. You can – you can get it back there, if you stay with S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Stay with S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Kara had to work to keep her voice low. "They abandoned me and turned their back on you. I can't trust them. Skye shot you in the back. Simmons tried to kill you and Fitz tried to suffocate you in your cell. How can you think I'm safe here, in the same place that they are!? How can I stay in the same place as Agent Morse!?"

"You shouldn't trust S.H.I.E.L.D." Grant told her earnestly. "S.H.I.E.L.D. is an institution, and at this point I think we've both learned not to trust institutions. But you can trust Coulson, he's a good man. As for Skye and FitzSimmons... they're good people too. As long as you don't do what I did to them... they're no threat to you. It wasn't Coulson who abandoned you. He didn't know – Morse never told him what happened to you. S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't know that she sold you out to rise up in Hydra and maintain her cover. Coulson won't be happy she kept that secret, let alone that she did it in the first place."

"How can you say Coulson is a good man?! He handed you over to your brother to be turned into a spectacle, to be executed!"

"He's also the man who put me in the most basic of handcuffs. The kind that he knew I could break out of easily."

Kara couldn't believe what she was hearing. She couldn't believe he was defending the people who had turned on him, had abandoned him so utterly. "So what? Coulson wanted you to escape?" Kara didn't believe that for a moment, and she couldn't believe that Grant did either.

"Not exactly," Grant admitted. "He wanted to have it both ways. He wanted me out of that base and he wanted Christian off S.H.I.E.L.D.'s back. But he also wanted to be able to look at himself in the mirror after handing someone over to the man who abused them for years." Grant chuckled hollowly. It was a sound she was familiar with. "He may never have bothered to ask, to find out about Garrett, the truth about what happened. But he knew the truth about my family. He knew that much. So he made sure I could escape. And once Christian gave that speech...well, it didn't matter if I broke out or not."

"And that's enough for you to forgive him?" Kara didn't want to hear this, didn't want Grant to keep talking like he was, to go where this could only end.

"No." Grant sounded indignant at the very though. "I don't forgive Coulson for handing me over to Christian, I don't forgive Skye for shooting me, I don't forgive Simmons for trying to kill me or Fitz trying to suffocate me. But that doesn't change the fact that they're good people. It doesn't change the fact that I'm not," he continued, barreling over any chance she had to object to his words, to his claim that he was worthless, that he had nothing to offer her.

He has worth to me! Even if he really never could love her like she wanted him to, even if they could never truly be together, she couldn't bear the thought of him no longer being by her side.

"You were a good agent. Unlike me you were a loyal agent. You deserve a chance to have that again. To help people, to save lives. You deserve to be surrounded by good people again. People who aren't me."

Kara felt tears in the corners of her eyes and didn't care. She didn't care that her voice was full of the sob she was barely keeping back. "Grant! No, please. You can't – you can't leave me." She was begging. She didn't care.

"Please...please Kara." Ward was begging her now. "Don't make this harder than it has to be. I'm not good for you. And this – you have a chance to have what you had back. You have a chance to be an Agent again. You have a chance to have it all back." Kara could hear the unstated 'the chance I want, the chance I'll never have' in his words. She could hear the broken quality in his voice. "I don't want to do this. But it's what needs to be done. You can find your closure with Morse another way. Just...just don't throw away your chance to have it all back."

The sob broke through, the tears falling freely. "Grant – why are you – please don't do this to me."

"I'm sorry..." Grant let his voice trail off for only a moment. "Goodbye." His voice really broke on that word. "Goodbye Kara." The call ended. She tried to redial, tried to get him back – the call didn't go through.

Grant was gone.

Coulson's Office, The Playground

May 7th, 2019

S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't exactly need to keep the Playground as their headquarters.

Technically, it was still an unsanctioned organization acting outside national and international law. It still had no official support from any government, and not much in the way of unofficial support. These days, it did have some unofficial backing from Stark Industries and a handful of other private interests, but still not much.

Public opinion was still not very pro S.H.I.E.L.D.

Still, none of the world governments were actively going after S.H.I.E.L.D. or their agents, facilities and assets, as long as they kept a low profile and didn't try to go up against them. Sometimes the agency worked at cross purposes with a government, which led to saber-rattling and some problems for a while, but really... they didn't need to use a secret underground base as their main headquarters.

Kara supposed it was something of a reflex, or perhaps just nostalgia on the part of Coulson and his inner circle for the base that had been their home until S.H.I.E.L.D's position had become more secure in the last few years. It didn't really matter. She rarely spent much time in the Playground, preferring to operate out of any – well, not quite any – other base. She refused to go onto the Illiad, now that Morse ran it.

But Coulson was still the Director, and when he ordered you to come to his office, you came. Most of the time, these days, she liked working for him. It was hard to hate Coulson. He was a good man. He could have been a better man, but he was a good man. And apart from her brief incarceration after Grant left... he'd not held her responsible for what she'd done while brainwashed. He'd given her a chance to become a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent again.

As much as she still wished she was working alongside Grant, even now, she was glad to have this opportunity to get back this part of her old life. She did like being a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Being able to help people, save lives... just like he'd said.

Every life she saved, every good deed she did as an Agent... it was one small bit of redemption, for what she did at Whitehall's order.

And for what Grant had done. All the good she did – Grant was responsible for it, ultimately. If he hadn't helped her, hadn't saved her from the black abyss she'd fallen into after Whitehall's death, she wouldn't be able to do the good she did now.

The rest of S.H.I.E.L.D. might never forgive Grant. But she would make sure the scales were balanced eventually. Hers and Grant's. One day, there'd be enough good that at least on some...grand cosmic level, things would be balanced out.

She could only hope. For her own soul and for Grant's.

She hadn't known what to expect when she walked into Coulson's office, but Skye being already there was definitely not something she'd thought she'd see. The implication was obvious. She was going to go on some sort of mission with Skye, but Coulson knew better than to send her on missions with Skye.

He never sent her on missions with Simmons or Bobbi. She'd never told Coulson what Simmons had tried to do, in that base in the Arctic, but he'd quickly been able to tell that Kara neither liked, nor trusted Simmons, and couldn't stand to be in the same room as her for any length of time. With Bobbi – well, Coulson, and just about everyone else knew why Kara wouldn't work with her.

He'd never pressed on the issue of Simmons.

With Skye...

Well, Kara didn't like Skye. She still hated the girl just a little bit, but not for shooting Grant. She'd moved past that, eventually. It had taken a heartfelt conversation, more than a few beers and a lot of time for her to get there, but she had. But she still hated Skye because...

Because Grant loved her so much I never had a chance.

She didn't like Skye, but she did...trust her a little. Enough that she was willing to be in the same room, anyway. Especially since, apart from that one drunken conversation, they'd long since come to an unspoken truce: never mention Grant. But going on a mission together with her? Coulson didn't do that very often.

"Sir?" She asked, closing the door behind her. She nodded to Skye, acknowledging her. "What is it?"

Coulson tapped something on the tablet in his hands and a picture went up onto the main screen in the wall. It was a picture taken at some sort of park – complete with slides, monkey bars and what looked like a sandbox in the corner. Kids playing. There were several children in the foreground – they were clearly who the focus of picture was on. It didn't take her long to understand why this picture was of relevance to Coulson, to S.H.I.E.L.D.

Because right in the background, just on the edge of the playground, was Grant Ward.

He was clean-shaven, a look she didn't really recognize on him. He looked...normal. He wore jeans and a T-shirt and she didn't see any sign of a weapon on him, not even to her trained eye.

"You found Grant." She couldn't stop the faint tremble in her voice. Four years... that was the last time she'd heard from him. And now, here he was. In a perfectly normal picture. Alive. Unharmed. Safe. And apparently... something approaching happy, judging from the small smile on his face.

"We found him," Coulson nodded. "This picture was taken yesterday and put onto the Facebook page of that girl's parents this morning." He gestured to the little girl in the center of the picture. "Unless Ward has completely lost his touch, he won't be hanging around for long. He'll know he's been caught."

"Caught?" Kara looked at him. "You're going after him? It's been four years. He's done nothing to get onto our radar. He hasn't-"

"Whatever he has or hasn't done in the last four years, Agent Palamas," Coulson started, "he's still a criminal. And I highly doubt he's been some sort of model citizen in the years since the Arctic."

"So what, you want to arrest him? You made a deal with him. He helped you get into that base, get the information on where Strucker and the staff was. He helped you rescue Mike and Lincoln." She shot Skye a look at the mention of her ex. The former hacker didn't react.

"The deal was that he go through the T.A.H.I.T.I. protocol and then he'd be free," Coulson replied.

"Yes." Kara usually didn't let her displeasure with Coulson show whenever she was unhappy with him. But this time – this time there was no reason to bite back the acidic venom in her words. "Because taking away someone's entire sense of self and giving them a brand-new custom made past and personality is absolutely freedom." Coulson and Skye both had the decency to look away for a moment at her words.

"With all the crap we're dealing with – like Hydra coming back again – why on earth are you so interested in capturing Grant?" Kara demanded.

She'd been amazed at the naivete S.H.I.E.L.D. had shown in the aftermath of the brief conflict with the Inhumans. The idea that Hydra had been defeated, or at least rocked back on its heels so hard that it would take a long time to rebuild to be a threat was a foolish one.

Kara had known that was nonsense. She had known that Hydra would come back, and far sooner than they'd expected. She'd told them as much, but they hadn't believed her. Six months later, Hydra announced its return to the spotlight with an attack on the Illiad that had nearly cost them the carrier. It had taken two years to defeat that new, smarter, sleeker and even more compartmentalized Hydra. And yet, two months ago, it had announced a third rebirth by bombing an international arms control summit.

So far, they weren't sure who was behind the new Hydra 4.0, or even what its objectives were, beyond the general 'world domination'. They had a surprising number of gifted working for them and they seemed to strike randomly. Only one of their bases had been identified and taken out so far.

"That's exactly why I want to deal with him now, before he becomes a problem. I don't think this picture was an accident. Ward's too good to let his picture be taken by accident. He's taunting us. Calling us out." Coulson just couldn't see past what had happened. "This isn't up for discussion, Agent Palamas. I want Grant Ward apprehended and brought to the Playground. I'd rather it be unharmed. And I know you would too."

"I will not be the one to arrest Grant. Do you hate him so much you want to have the only person left that he trusted turn on him?"

"I...I have to say – I – I don't see how this is a priority," Skye said softly, the first time she'd spoken since Kara had come into the room. "If we weren't busy with Hydra, I'd understand. But Agent Palamas is right. This isn't a big concern." Coulson looked at her, as if he couldn't believe what she was saying. Skye kept talking, and Kara balled her hands into fists at the woman's next words. "He belongs in a cell. He shouldn't be allowed to roam free, but – this is a small concern."

"Big concerns grow from small concerns. You plant them, water them with tears, fertilize them with unconcern. If you ignore them, they grow," Coulson replied. Kara recognized the reference immediately. From the look on Skye's face she did too.

"You're really going to quote Babylon 5 to make your case?" Kara could barely believe he was trying to justify this with – a line from a TV show. A damn good TV show, but still. And Skye-

Kara wasn't surprised that Skye agreed with Coulson. No in S.H.I.E.L.D. besides Kara understood. They didn't see and didn't care. Skye knew more about the truth, about what had happened to Grant, than anyone else, but when she wasn't three sheets to the wind, she couldn't even start to think past the betrayal. She couldn't see that Grant was a good man. A good man trying desperately to make up for a lifetime of mistakes and crimes, to overcome the man that his family and Garrett had created.

"It makes my point as well as anything else." Coulson replied calmly. He took a breath and let it out, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose before finally continuing. "I don't imagine we'll end up keeping him in a cell for long. If there's one skill Grant Ward has shown himself to have it is a consistent ability to wriggle out of almost anything eventually." Kara tried to ignore the slight note of disgust in Coulson's voice as he said the word 'wriggle', but she couldn't.

Coulson was a good man, yes, but not when it came to Grant.

"But," Coulson continued, "in the meantime, there are questions I have that only he has the answers to. Questions S.H.I.E.L.D. needs answers to."

"Then give them to me and I'll ask him myself." Kara replied. "Or do you suddenly not trust me again?"

"I trust you. But these questions and their answers are need-to-know only."

Kara shook her head. She didn't believe him. Or – there was something more at play. Coulson knew more than what he was saying. As far as he could tell, he didn't keep secrets like this that often, but this time he was.

"I'm not going to betray him like everyone else in his life has." Kara replied calmly. She didn't care about the response – the incredulous looks from Coulson and Skye that more or less said 'what the fuck, really?'. "You want me to go along because you think if he sees me he'll drop his guard. And you don't think he'll shoot or hurt Skye, which is why you're sending her. But here's the thing: Grant never drops his guard."

"If he sees someone he trusts – you, as you say – then he'll know we're not arresting him for an execution. We're not," Coulson countered. "This isn't a suggestion, Agent Palamas. I'm ordering the two of you to go to Indianapolis and bring Ward back here. There's a quinjet waiting and fueled up for you."

Kara said nothing. She took in a sharp breath, keeping her fists clenched and her arms by her sides. She nodded but didn't trust herself to open her mouth.

"Just the two of us?" Skye asked, her tone focused, professional.

"If you need backup, it will only be two hours away," Coulson told her. He looked to Kara. "Agent Palamas – I need you to tell me. I can trust you on this, right?" He let out a breath, "If you can't do this -" His voice softened a moment, "I'd understand. If you're determined to not... I won't make it an order if you can't do this."

Kara was too angry at Coulson to give him any points for acting like a human being again, but she sucked in a long breath and let it out slowly. "I'll go." She looked to Skye. "I'm the only one I'd trust to bring him in alive and unharmed."

Skye didn't say anything. Kara wasn't surprised.

She took another deep breath.

It was time to go arrest Grant Ward.