Disclaimer: FF7, its characters, and the names of Squaresoft and Tenchi Masaki do not belong to me at all… Not at all…
Cloud and his Chibi
(We find our heroes [and heroines] sitting around in Cloud's villa while facing their worst enemy… Boredom)
Cloud: (yawns) Gah…what a Friday… (sits down on his bed)
Tifa: (yawns, then stares at Cloud) Mmm…you said it… (starts falling asleep)
Barret: (yawns, then
growls) Damn it! Stop
yawnin'!!! Yo' yawnin' is makin' me
sleepy you ^&)($ cows!!!
Cid: Hey! The
only one to cuss is me g*****n it!!!
You big fat ^(*&% son of a )(*$^
piece of*&^$)(8 motherf---
Tifa: (bitch slaps Cid and cuts him off) Hey!!! No cussing here!
Cloud: (yawns) Eh…I don't give a f**k… (lies down on the bed)
Tifa: (walks towards Cloud, "pretends" to slip, and falls on top of him, smothering him with her twin peaks, giggling) Oops…
Cloud: … (sweatdrops and feels like Tenchi Masaki)
(Meanwhile in Shinra HQ…)
Hojo: I've done it!!! Finally!!! WAHAHAHA!!!!
Scarlet: (walks into Hojo's lab) Kyahahaha….ha…? (raises an eyebrow) All right, you old cook. What have you created THIS time???
Hojo: Well, my pretty young… (takes his first look at Scarlet for the day) I mean…coughcoughgrandmacoughcough…
Scarlet: (didn't get it) Well? What have you done???Hojo: (sweatdrops and picks up a customized gun on his desk) Ahem…well, I've created a device that can duplicate any living organism's biogenetic structure in a matter of nanoseconds!!!
Scarlet: Wha…..t…?
Hojo: (sighs) A copy machine…happy???
Scarlet: But we have those around the builiding!
Hojo: it's not just ANY copy machine! This machine can copy a person or animal!
Scarlet: Really! GIVE ME THAT!!! (steals the dupe gun)
Hojo: NO!!! Give that back to me, you wench!!!!
Scarlet: Wench?! Why I oughtta… (raises the dupe gun)
Hojo: GAH! Don't shoot!!! You don't know what you're doing!!!
Scarlet: (smirks) Heh…yeah I do… (shoots Hojo)
Hojo: GAH!!!! (glows for a bit before his clone appears next to him) Hey…I shall call him…Mojo Hojo!
Scarlet: (sweatdrops)
Hojo: Ok fine…just plain Mojo.
Mojo: That's better…now give me that gun before I rip you in two with my own 28 teeth…
Hojo: Don't you mean 32?
Mojo: Obviously you haven't been brushing your teeth very well!
Hojo: …
Mojo: (snickers) Now give me the cloning gun…
Hojo: What?! I don't think so…
Mojo: Hand it over, old man…
Hojo: Old man?! You're my clone! You're old too!
Mojo: Feh…I'm a newborn… (adjusts his glasses)
Hojo & Scarlet: (sweatdrop)
Mojo: What???
Hojo: NOTHING!!!
Mojo: Good…now give me the gun before I make you wish you were never born…
Hojo: NEVER!
Mojo: (smirks) I'll give you until the count of 3 to give me the gun…
Scarlet: Hey…why is he so evil?
Mojo: 1…
Hojo: I don't know! Take the gun and get out of here!
Mojo: 2…
Scarlet: But he's so manly… (swoons)
Hojo: (sweatdrops) Scarlet…?
Scarlet: (has hearts in her eyes)
Hojo: I'm doomed.
Mojo: 3!!! ROOOOOOAAAARRRRR!!!!!!! (pounces Hojo with his smelly, pointy, yellow teeth shown)
Hojo: I regret nothing. (gets torn apart, limb-from-limb by Mojo)
Mojo: (finishes off Hojo and starts eating his severed arm) ……
Scarlet: (is oblivious to the carnage and just stares at Mojo with that "stalker" look) WHAT A MAN!!! (throws the gun out of the lab window and pounces Mojo with her lips puckered up)
Random bird: (swoops down, grabs the Dupe gun, and flies away, but then gets hit by a meteor and lets go of the Dupe gun right above Cloud's villa)
(The last thing that can be heard is the sound of bloodcurdling screams and feminine moans that would make even Sephiroth shiver with fear)
(Back in Costa de Sol…)
Cloud: Gah…Tifa…I can't breathe… *cough *
Tifa: (giggles and gets up) Sorry Cloud!
Cloud: No prob… (puts a hand behind his head and grins like an idiot)
Everyone else: (rolls their eyes)
Vincent: (comes out of the bathroom) * yawn* I need a new gun… My Death Penalty isn't worth jack!
Cloud: Well, morning Vince!
Cid: (with an Irish accent) Top o' the mornin' to ya, my fine bloodsucking friend!
Vincent: …
Barret: (laughs his @$$ off)
Vincent: Why I oughtta…
(The dupe gun falls through the roof, not only making a big hole in the roof, but also falling right in front of Vincent)
Cloud: Grrrr….and I just had the roof fixed two days ago!!!
Tifa: Aww…poor Cloud…
Cloud: * Sniff* Yeah…poor me…
Tifa: Want me to make you feel better? (grins)
Cloud: If you guys think Tifa should do
her worst to me, then gimme a hell yeah!!!
(Crickets chirp in the background)
Cloud: …Nevermind…
All: (sweatdrop)
Barret: Who gives a damn 'bout your damn
love life, Spike! Vinny's got a
sucky-@$$ weapon!!! WAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Vincent: ARRGH!!!! It's not my fault Squaresoft gave me such a
stupid weapon!!!
Barret: (keeps laughing, sounding like a sick grizzly bear)
Vincent: That's it… (grabs the Dupe Gun from the floor and aims it at Barret) Time to DIE!!! (shoots)
Barret: HOLY S**T!!! (pulls Cloud in front of him)
Cloud: Hey…what the hell?! (gets
shot) GAH!!!
Tifa: Cloud!!!
Cloud: (glows a bit before his clone appears next to him, only different) …
????: … (crosses his arms)
Cid: (jaw drops and so does his cigarette) What…the hell is that tiny mofo?!?!
????: (looks straight up at Cid and flips him off)
Cid: Why…you…little!!! (lunges for the clone)
????: (sidesteps while tripping Cid with his foot)
Cid: (falls down and hits his head with the wall, knocking him out) @.@
Cloud: (looks at his tiny clone and grins) I shall call him…Chibi-Me!!!
Tifa: (looks at Chibi-Cloud and hearts appear in her eyes) HOW CUTE!!!!!!
Chibi-Cloud: (sweatdrops)
Tifa: (walks over to Chibi-Cloud and tries to pick him up)
Chibi-Cloud: (jumps out of
the way and shakes his head) Forget it, toots! I'm not a
damn plushie to be carried around!
Tifa: (pouts)
Chibi-Cloud: (looks at Cloud and scowls) BIGGER-ME, YOU ARE SUCH A DAMN BAKA!!!
Cloud: (raises an eyebrow) What did I do?!Chibi-Cloud: NO REASON!!! YOU JUST ARE!!!
Cloud: (growls) You smug son of a---
Chibi-Cloud: (cuts Cloud off) OMAE O KOROSU!!!
(Cloud and Chibi-Cloud enter a battle of insults while a very nervous AVALANCHE keep their distances from the two contenders)
Tifa: What are we going to do about THOSE two?!?!
Yes…what WILL they do about the arguing Cloud's? How will the crew deal with a new member of AVALANCHE? How will Cloud deal with his foul-mouth chibi? How will the fans deal with an author that refuses to shut up? The answers to these questions will appear soon if the author can get off of his lazy butt and type faster!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: How'd you like it? There WILL be more to this! Geez…I gotta finish my other fics… Anyway, please R&R! Or you could send your comments to Cloud_S_@excite.com! Preferably reviews here, but that's just my little ol' opinion…