Zell's Band
Part 1
"Yoo! Come on, you guys! Please?" Zell Dincht, Balamb Garden's resident rowdy punk begged his 'friends'.
"Nope. No way I'm bein' in a boy band." Seifer Almasy declared with his trademark smirk.
"Damn right. I ain't going near any stage." Irvine Kinneas agreed.
"But…but… you did in the Garden Festival! Come on!" Zell yelled. "Squall?" he implored.
"Not to reinstate my over-used former phrase, but…whatever." Squall grinned. After the Sorceress' defeat, Squall had opened up a lot more to his friends.
"Yeah! Get it into your dumb Chicken-Wuss head that there ain't gonna be no band!" Seifer yelled.
"But guys…" Zell whined, "The prize if you win is…a year's supply of HOT DOGS!"
Squall grimaced. "Even less reason to join, then."
"Yoo! You guys are so mean!" Zell screamed.
"Yeah, so? You wanna make somethin' of it?" Seifer asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"N-no. But please! You guys have to! Raijin?" Zell asked.
"Nah, ya know? Gotta go with the boss' ideas." Raijin gestured at Seifer.
"MUSICAL TALENT, NONE." Fujin announced, glaring at Raijin.
"Who asked you, eye-patch girl?" Zell said crossly. Before he knew what was happening, Fujin had yelled 'RAGE!' and kicked him very hard in the knee. (It would have been the shin, but since Zell's such a dwarf…)
"Oww!" Zell shrieked and started crying. "Yoo! My legs are like toothpicks! You saw them when we faced Ultimecia! You coulda BROKEN them! That's it! HAIR STRIKE!"
With these 'threatening' words, he charged head down at Fujin, missed her and smacked into Raijin, impaling him on his stupid spiky Chocobo-hair.
"Yeah, baby! That's what nine cans of hairspray a day can DO!" Zell yelled triumphanly, while Raijin whimpered, "I'm bleedin', ya know?"
Fujin nodded. "IMPALED." She said to Seifer, who was trying very hard to stifle his laughter. Irvine and Squall had already failed and were rolling on the floor laughing.
"Guys? If you come in my band, I won't tell Cid you sneak out every Wednesday to play Poker with the girls…" Zell said, an evil look in his eyes.
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Will Zell ever get his band? Will the other boys' secrets be revealed? Will Squall and Irvine ever stop laughing? Will Raijin survive? Find out in the next exciting installment of… ZELL'S BAND!