A Non-Nightmare on Dinah's Street and Other Stories

I do not own Justice League or Nightmare on Elm Street. Yes this is meant for humor and NO there will be absolutely NO killings or any of that kind. And yes, Freddy does get a very humiliating ending which I find hilarious!

A Non-Nightmare on Dinah's Street (Or Freddy Gets Screwed Over, if you'd prefer)

The night sky twinkled over the skies in the Watchtower as everyone was sleeping. Dinah Lance and Helena Bertinelli were both sound asleep in their twin beds, snoring softly. Neither one noticed a familiar clawed glove in the room. All at once, that hand belonged to the crown prince of terror, the king of nightmares, the one true devil that makes Scarecrow look like a pansy, the notorious… FREDDY KRUEGER!

"So… this is the Watchtower? Hehehehe… perfect. Now, whom shall I pluck first?" Freddy deviously thought to himself before a fiendish smile crept on his face as Dinah snored sweetly. Freddy's hand laid in waiting motion, and it was about to strike when all of a sudden…

BZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTT!

"AAAAAAGGGAAAAAGGGGGHHHAAAAAAAAHHAAAAA!" Freddy screamed as more than ninety eight hundred volts of electricity coursed through his body, blasting him out the window and into the garbage dumping ground.

Dinah jolted from her slumber gasping, then noticed the electric defense generator around her bed. "Dinah, did you hear something?" Helena mumbled sleepily, Dinah simply shrugging. "Must've been one of Wally's pet rats again." Dinah yawned, going back to sleep as a heavily battered, bruised and stench-filled Freddy limped out of the garbage section. "Ugh! This is so embarrassing! God, my gloves are now rusted!" Freddy snarled, as he attempted to smother Dinah with a pillow. Unfortunately, fate yet again displayed it's amusing sense of humor as the pillow morphed into a giant snake. Apparently the serpent was not pleased about its current situation.

"Oh god…" Freddy moaned as the cobra then bit him on the butt. "YOWWWW!" Freddy hollered, falling headfirst into the lion cage, where the bogeyman came face to face with very large and extremely pissed off male lions. Sounds of screaming and flesh being scratched were heard while everyone else ignored it for their own amusement. Because Freddy's a bad guy and whatever happens to him we find funny.

"That's it. I've had it, that's the final straw." Freddy growled having had enough with the booby traps throughout the tower. So far he's been electrocuted by a defense grid, mauled by snakes and carnivores, and worst of all his trademark gloves were moments away from becoming stale gloves. Leaning over a young woman's bed with a machete, Freddy was about to strike when due to his own clumsiness, a mouse bit his toe, causing the machete to impale his foot.

"AAAAGGGH!" Freddy yelped in pain, wincing as he then felt his neck being squished as Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons and mother to Wonder Woman, Dinah and Helena had him in her firm grasp. "um… I can explain." Freddy whimpered as Hippolyta gave him a glare that would make even Darkseid tremble in fear.

"You invaded my home, you tried to murder my daughters, you violated our sanctity and now you shall feel our wrath!" Hippolyta boasted as she opened the gate to Killer Croc's cage where the hungry half man half alligator waited patiently for his much deserved midnight snack. "Here you go Croc, a little tidbit." Hippolyta remarked, tossing Freddy into the cage before grinning as Croc devoured the nightmare master before burping. "Tasted like regular chicken. Little bit of flavor on the shirt, too." Croc commented, licking his chops.

"Mommy?" Dinah asked worriedly as Hippolyta sat by the foot of her bed. "what is it honey?" Hippolyta wondered as she rubbed her daughter's blonde hair while tucking her into bed. "I had this strange dream that this creepy guy with long hands tried to attack us but then he was eaten by a giant alligator." Dinah recalled, having summed up the night's recent events… and its rather amusing conclusion.

"Well the dream's over. Now it's time to go nighty night." Hippolyta spoke soothingly as she kissed Dinah on the forehead. "Goodnight my little angel. I love you." Hippolyta whispered lovingly, handing Dinah her teddy bear as she snuggled up with it in her sleep. Hippolyta smiled and kissed Helena goodnight as she quietly tiptoed out the door before glancing at her sweet sleeping children. "shhhh. Goodnight girls, sleep well. Mommy loves you." Hippolyta cooed softly, closing the door.

The next morning…

"what the?" Catwoman yawned, having woken up to see the lions chewing on what appeared to be a rusted glove with metal talons on it. Close behind laid the tatters of a once familiar red striped shirt. "Hey, did you hear any noises last night? Cause I could've sworn I heard someone screaming down in Killer Croc's area." Lois asked as both girls pondered for a moment then the answer dwelled on them both: Dinah

"Dinah? Come on pretty bird, time to wake up." Poison Ivy spoke warmly as she shook Dinah's shoulder as the lovely lady snored softly in her bed, drooling on her pillow. "Forget it Ivy, Dinah only wakes up whenever Hippolyta tells her to. You know how it is." Helena commented, drying her hair.

"Did you hear the noises last night? I could've sworn that somebody had gotten into the Watchtower last night." Ivy asked as Helena shook her head. "Pam last night the only noises I heard were Dinah sucking her thumb in her sleep and her mumblings about Hippolyta in her sleep. Other than that, no I didn't hear anything else."

"Hmmm, well either way Killer Croc said something at breakfast about eating some creep with a burnt face. But then again it must've been that idiot Firefly." Ivy commented. "Must've been." Helena replied before Hippolyta entered.

"well how are my beautiful little ladies this morning?" Hippolyta asked cheerfully, in her hand a fresh baked stack of pancakes. "You baked food for us?" Ivy wondered, Hippolyta nodding. "Pamela I've been cooking dishes and serving meals ever since I was pregnant with my lovely little Dinah. Which reminds me where is she?" Hippolyta wondered, looking for her most cherished child.

"Oh she's over here. Sleeping like a baby, as usual." Ivy remarked as Hippolyta smiled warmly as Dinah was sucking her thumb in her sleep. "Now isn't that cute? She is so adorable when she's sleeping." Hippolyta spoke softly as she rubbed Dinah's shoulder. "Come on baby girl, Mommy says its time to wake up now." Hippolyta whispered as Dinah opened her eyes and hugged her mother.

"Ooh, pancakes! My favorite!" Dinah squealed in joy, taking a bite. "Do me a favor; don't get any syrup on the bed. I spent two full hours vacuuming that up." Helena deadpanned as the girls giggled

"Hey Croc, what's new?" Two-Face commented as the alligator/man hybrid mix walked into the café. "Eh not much. Say you know that funny looking dude from Nightmare on Elm Street, right?" Croc asked

"yeah, yeah we do, Freddy Krueger, what about him?" Dent wondered, Croc chuckling in amusement. "well this may sound a little silly, but Hippolyta caught him trying to terrorize Dinah, right? So Hippolyta grabs the weasel by the neck, hands him to me and he's like screaming his head off going 'aaaaahhh' and all that. And his head just exploded like a watermelon when I ate him" Croc laughed, imitating Freddy's bloodcurdling screams as a few Leaguers laughed in amusement.

"So what happened after he got nearly eaten by the lions?" Robin asked in anticipation. "well he tried to sneak into Dinah's room through the cabin, only to get his butt caught in a bear trap! Ha!" Croc guffawed, everyone cracking up.

"Hey, what do we do about this glove anyway?" Nightwing asked, holding Freddy's now useless glove. "eh, just place it in the workshop. I'll see if I can convert into an auto-animatronic hand." Black Mask commented

"You mean like that hand from the Addams Family?" Power Girl piped up, Black Mask groaning. "Yes and don't even think about starting that song again, last week it drove my steel mill workers bananas when some wise guy rigged the intercoms to play cheap sixties TV show themes over and over!"

Story Two: the Cat, the Canary, and the Croc

"Whatcha doing Croc?" Dinah asked cheerfully as the giant man/alligator mix was tinkering with a radio device on his workbench. "ah nothing really. I found this map radar thingy on the barge an hour ago, and I'm testing it to see if it can activate at all. But so far, zip, nada, nothing." Croc commented before sighing in boredom.

"hmm, maybe you need to boot it up or something. Like you know, batteries." Selina piped up, munching on a cinnamon bagel as Croc connected two circuitry wires together and in a spark of light, the radar turned on revealing a waypoint. "Holy shrimp balls, it worked!" Croc gasped in delight, before nearly falling over in his chair as he pointed his clawed finger excitedly to a spot on the radar.

"Oh my goddesses, it's a treasure map! That radar is the device to locating a vast amount of loot" Dinah gasped ecstatically. "And it says it's down in the Suicide Slums of Metropolis." Selina piped up as the radar revealed the coordinates to the first map marker. "well what are we waiting for? C'mon ladies, we've got some booty to dig up!" Croc exclaimed, the three would-be treasure hunters dashing off to the teleporter beam.

"Hey Dinah, Selina, Waylon. What's up?" Lady Blackhawk asked as the three arrived in the Tomorrow District of Metropolis. "we're looking for buried treasure hidden in the city. Want to come join us?" Croc offered, Lady Blackhawk graciously accepting unaware that a very certain mercenary was watching them from afar…

"A treasure, eh? Well, we'll see who gets it first." Deathstroke grinned fiendishly as the wicked bounty hunter stealthily followed the heroes, only to get lassoed by Hippolyta.

"Touch my babies, I'll show you 90 percent of pure pain!" Hippolyta hissed before shoving Deathstroke down the sewers and into the lions' den where some very hungry lionesses gathered around him.

"Oh god…" Deathstroke moaned as the lionesses devoured him.

To be continued