First time in a while I've written something that wasn't focused on Bubbline, and it's really been fun. So for all you Jake and Lady shippers out there here's their backstory from 40 Weeks because it's unlikely to be explored too much in the main story since they're not the main characters. There's a second chapter of this on the way too, it'll be just a two-chapter short.
Content Warning: irresponsible drinking, irresponsible hooking up. I'm not advocating one night stands, guys. Cross dressing, not very graphic hetero sex.
She almost didn't go to the party, unaware that she had a date with destiny. But at four o'clock that afternoon there was a knock on her door and Lady regretfully put away the book she'd been studying from and went to answer it. It was her next door neighbour's energetic new musician girlfriend, she should have guessed.
"Hey, I was just checking you're still good for the party tonight? Bon's in a state of absolute panic, I've never seen a party planned like it was an eight hour experimental surgery before. She sent me to ask what time to expect you so she can decide how early to put each set of drinks out."
"Marcy," Lady started with a sigh, "Honestly? I might bail. I've got a ton of stuff to look up for next week's court case and I love hanging with you guys but I've been to Bonnie's parties before, I'll lose the whole of tomorrow to a hangover if I'm not careful."
"Ah come on, it'll be fun! Even a massive brainlord like Bonnie can put down the books for one night and kick back. It's Halloween! You're not gonna get any studying done anyway. Because you'll be answering the door to trick-or-treaters all night and then you'll be able to hear our awesome party music and you'll be lying there in bed staring at the ceiling wishing it wasn't too late to rethink your lame life choices and-"
"Fine! Alright, I'll come for a couple of hours. But if your music keeps me up past midnight I swear I will call the police on the pair of you. Deal?"
"Deal. What are you going for with your costume?"
Lady had a costume although she hadn't decided if she'd wear it yet or not.
"No spoilers. You'll have to wait and see. What are you going as?" she asked instead.
"Freddie Mercury." Marcy shrugged. "I've got a stick on mustache and I was just gonna pull my hair back and gel it down, got the yellow jacket and white vest combo and I found a broken microphone stand at orchestra so I stole that too. I look way badass."
The theme for Bonnie's Halloween party the year earlier had been Disney heroes and villains, she'd given up trying to pretend not to be a massive children's film nerd. And this year it was a free-for-all drag party. Clearly the new girlfriend had influenced the costume choices.
"Sounds cool." Lady agreed with a nod. "I'll be there about eight, assuming I get everything done here. See you later."
She gently but firmly closed the door on the enthusiastic Indian girl and rested her forehead against the wood for a while. Perhaps she had been hitting the books too hard, she thought. It was getting to the point where she was having nightmares about standing up to cross-examine the witness and discovering she was naked in front of the whole court, or opened her briefcase to reveal that instead of her case files she'd brought nothing but a pair of slutty lace panties. Maybe Marcy was right, maybe a night partying was a good thing. Besides, she might meet a cute boy. Lady snorted to herself when that though crossed her mind; she had about as much chance of meeting a single, attractive, heterosexual boy at Bonnie's Halloween party as she did of going into space.
If she'd only known how the night would end she might have gone as Buzz Lightyear instead.
...
Eight o'clock sharp came and went. Bonnie was fiddling with her glittery whimsical glasses anxiously.
"What time did Lady say? She said eight, right?"
"She said around eight, maybe, if she finishes her work stuff. Chill out, babe. She'll be here. I made you a cocktail." Marcy replied with a grin, handing Bonnie a glass of slightly cloudy looking brownish liquor.
"What is this?" Bonnie asked. She wrinkled her nose at the smell of undiluted alcohol wafting up from the glass.
"I invented it! It's called Rum Rum Rum. It's white rum, dark rum and spiced rum. Shaken, not stirred. It's three of your five rums a day! And a splash of lime too. Y'know, for the flavour."
"So it's basically a hangover in a glass?" Bonnie asked sceptically.
"What's wrong, Sugar? You some kinda chicken?" Marcy teased.
"Pfft, you wish. I can down your rubbish cocktail in one breath and still throw you over my shoulder and carry you around like Fay Wray and King Kong." Bonnie replied, grinning back. Next second she made good on her promise and emptied the glass of rum in three gulps. "Urgh, that was gross. I'm gonna have to make you a Chinese Burn in retaliation. It's saké, extra hot chilli sauce and lemonade."
"Saké's Japanese, not Chinese." Marcy corrected her smugly. Next second Bonnie had grabbed her and thrown her half shrieking and half laughing over one shoulder, very much like Fay Wray and King Kong but wearing a bushy stick-on mustache and banana yellow PVC jacket. And that's how Lady found them, half breathless and giggling together, Marcy sliding down a little in Bonnie's arms so they could kiss more easily.
"Ok, wow, I did not need to see Freddie Mercury with his hands halfway down Elton John's pants. By the way, I think your doorbell's broken." Lady informed them.
Bonnie put Marcy down and hurried across the small lounge to hug her friend, just a little flushed in the cheeks both from the Rum Rum Rum and embarrassment at getting caught being less than innocent.
"You made it! And you look awesome! I wish we'd kept the cocktail now, you look like a woman who could use a bit of Rum Rum Rum."
Lady grinned back a little self consciously, raising her arms to show off the costume. She was pretty proud of it, really.
"Argh, mateys, or something like that? Anyway, rum disagrees with me. But I'd take your arm of for a glass of white wine." Lady replied with a slightly embarrassed roll of her shoulders. The stuffed parrot she'd pinned there brushed her ear at the movement.
"A glass of white wine for the coolest Jack Sparrow costume I've ever seen." Marcy replied with a grin, before she disappeared into the kitchen to get the wine out of the cooler.
It was a bit of a weird party, really. There was a large amount of classical musicians and newly qualified junior doctors around, most of them in a bizarre combination of drag. Lady was pretty sure at one point she saw a girl dressed as Charlie Chaplin making out with a boy dressed as Xena, Warrior Princess. And that was the least bizarre pairing she saw before the end of the night.
It was as she was sitting laughing with Bonnie about the time they'd gotten lost in the hall of mirrors at the funfair. Just as Marcy was shouting over to ask them if they'd seen Jake and Lady was wondering who Jake was the door banged open and drew everyone's attention. There was a tall, well built guy with dark blonde hair falling around his blue eyes in gentle curls and a bristly close trimmed beard grinning back at them all. He was wearing a floaty white cocktail dress and enormous white heels, full make up and a painted-on beauty mark on the left side of his top lip. It took a moment for Lady to work out who he was supposed to be.
"Happy Birthday, Mr President." he demurred with a coy bat of his false eyelashes around the room. It was without a doubt the worst Marilyn Monroe costume Lady had ever seen.
"Who is that idiot?" she giggled to Bonnie while Marcy rushed forwards and grabbed the guy in a slightly drunken bear hug.
"That's Jake, Marcy's roommate. He's literally the life of the party, you're gonna absolutely love him." Bonnie replied. Well that was quite the endorsement. The guy was already charging around the place with Marcy on his back using her broken microphone stand like a knight used their lance in a joust. It was lucky there were so many doctors in the room, Lady thought. Someone was gonna lose an eye if they kept doing that.
"He's cute, for a complete idiot." Lady replied a little tipsily. "Does he always wear suspiciously well applied eyeliner?"
"Nah, he's just funny. I mean, you can see why he's Marcy's best friend already, right? When they're drinking together they come over all Calvin and Hobbes, he really brings out Marcy's inner child. And apparently her inner child is an eight year old tomboy who thinks dick and fart jokes are the height of comedy genius. But it's cute, I mean they're obviously really close. I think it's good she has people around who make her laugh, Marcy's been through some stuff in her childhood." Bonnie went on to ramblingly explain something about her girlfriend having lost her mother when she'd been young, but unfortunately Lady only caught less than half of what the other girl said. She was watching the tall, muscular guy called Jake as he casually mixed a tray of complicated looking cocktails without appearing to pay much attention to what he was even doing.
"How can he do that without looking?" Lady interrupted, frowning at the tray of magnificently presented cocktails that the boy was now carrying around the room handing out.
"Huh? Oh, Jake's a chef. Like, a really fancy chef. Bartender too, he's got an actual recognised qualification in cocktail mixing. Marcy has money, Jake has crazy alcohol skills, their parties are absolutely legendary."
Lady had looked around to concentrate on hearing her friend over the thumping music and she hadn't noticed how far around the small lounge Jake had gotten with his tray until she opened her mouth to reply and was interrupted by a smooth, deep voice.
"Heart of Darkness Margarita? I've only got two left and I saved the prettiest glasses for the prettiest ladies in the room."
"I'll pass, thanks. I already downed a glass of neat rum that Marcy tried pass off as a cocktail and I'm gonna stick to water for the rest of the night, I'll be on hangover fixing duty come morning." Bonnie replied with a slightly knowing smile out of the corner of her eye at Lady. "Hey, this is my next door neighbour, Lady. She's a lawyer and apparently also a dastardly pirate. Lady, this is Jake, he's a fancypants chef and massive manchild, he shares an apartment with my better half. Have you seen where she disappeared to, by the way?" Bonnie asked, looking around the room to spot her girlfriend.
"Um, outside handing out super sour candies to trick-or-treaters, I think." Jake replied, still holding out the tray with two cocktail glasses on it.
"Better go check she isn't puking on my doorstep." Bonnie nodded, and slipped away. Lady only then realised that she was alone with the very cute idiot she'd been staring at for the last half hour.
"Um, hi." she muttered, looking down at the drinks.
"Hey. I should watch BonBon's seat, make sure nobody steals it. Tiny apartment, big party. The sofa is prime real estate, you've got the best seat in the house." Jake replied with a smile. He sat next to her and nodded to the tray of drinks. "I've not poisoned those, you know."
"So what's in a Heart of Darkness Margarita?" Lady asked for lack of anything else to say, taking a glass and looking down at the reddish purple drink.
"Blackberries, tequila, lime juice, orange liqueur and sugar syrup with a sprinkle of salt and a couple of fresh berries in the bottom. If we're having a cocktail party then someone has to make sure Babygoth doesn't just turn it into a shots party." he replied with a shrug.
"Babygoth? You mean Marceline?"
"Yeah. She used to be an actual baby goth, we went to private college together. Don't get the wrong idea, me and my little brother only got in because our Mum was the art teacher there and we didn't have to pay. Marcy's the one with the stupidly rich family."
"Oh. I figured, what with her having a fancy French name despite not being French, calling her father 'Daddy' despite not being four years old and owning her own music room. That girl was probably born on top of a pile of platinum credit cards."
Jake laughed and Lady noticed the handsome way his eyes crinkled happily, how the soft golden curls of his hair matched the slight golden tan he still had left over from summer across his broad cheeks. So he was attractive, that was one of her criteria.
"So, um, did you bring anyone tonight? Or are you here Han-style?" she asked, hoping it didn't sound as desperate out loud as it did in her head. He laughed again and Lady smiled too.
"Han-style? Yep, I'm here Solo! My Chewbacca abandoned me to go be a military brat, my little brother Finn. He's at some fancy army college learning to be an Officer and a Gentleman, leaving me to hold the fort back home. So have you got a girlfriend floating around the place tonight or are you also going stag?"
Lady had just taken a sip of the admittedly delicious blackberry cocktail and accidentally inhaled it, choking in surprise. Jake thumped her politely on the back until she could breathe again.
"A- what? Oh, because I'm friends with Bonnie! No, wow, I'm straight. Do I come across as gay?"
"Sorry! I just assumed, I mean what are the chances of meeting a gorgeous heterosexual girl at one of Bonnie and Marcy's parties? You guys are like unicorn poop; magical, glittery and probably not real."
That was the oddest compliment Lady had ever received and it was all she could do not to snort weirdly around her laugh.
"So wait, if I'm unicorn poop does that make you virgin poop? Because you know who the only people unicorns let close to them are, right?" she asked, deciding to throw caution to the wind and just go for full blown flirting. Probably the bravery was entirely to do with the bottle of white wine she'd drank and that was also why she thought that basically asking the cutest boy in the whole room if he was a virgin was flirty and not just weird. Luckily Jake just laughed again.
"Asking a girl if she's a virgin, well you pirates certainly don't have the manners to talk to a style goddess like myself! All I can say is, ask JFK if I'm a virgin." he winked.
Wow, he was also awkward and terrible at flirting. Lady took another sip of her cocktail and settled into the sofa, ready to awkwardly flirt her butt off. When Bonnie came back from outside with a slightly bleary looking Marceline in tow she smiled happily and directed her girlfriend into the kitchen instead, leaving Jake and Lady to laugh together on the sofa like they were the only two people in the room.
...
By the end of the night Jake had made Heart of Darkness Margaritas, Passion Fruit Cosmopolitans and one of his own inventions called a Three Mile Island Iced Tea which was like a Long Island Iced Tea but with absinthe replacing the rum to give it a nuclear green glow. Lady assumed it tasted good but she wasn't actually sure, she'd lost the sense of taste somewhere around her fourth margarita. What she'd also lost somewhere at the bottom of a cocktail glass were her inhibitions. So when Jake made to stand up and collect together his empty bottles something in her said that he shouldn't leave yet, she was having too much fun talking to him. Lady stretched out across his lap instead and smiled up at him innocently.
"Oh, ok. So we're skipping the 'hey do you wanna get dinner sometime' stage and going straight to the cuddling?" he asked with a slightly embarrassed smile.
"Well? You're a chef, it'd be weird to go to dinner with you and hear you criticize other people's cooking. And besides I like you, Jake. So who says we have to follow the three-date pattern, why can't we just connect like this?" she replied with a giggle. "Hey, you wanna know a secret?"
"Yeah?" he asked, leaning over her so she could whisper in his ear.
"You know what pirates are usually looking for?"
He shook his head, face very close to her own and lips looking very kissable from where Lady was gazing up into his handsome face.
"Booty." she whispered, sliding an arm around his neck and drawing him down into a deep kiss.
"I think you should take me home, Jake." she murmured against his cheek when they finally broke apart. "I don't usually do this kinda thing but you're really cute and honestly I could use some attention, work out some stress. If you want to?"
"Um, yeah? Sure, I mean, assuming you're asking me to... y'know, take you home and like, stay the night with you? Look, if you wanna maybe get that dinner some time, I could cook. Then you wouldn't have to hear me criticize anyone else's food. If you wanted to meet up again?"
That was pretty obviously a date invitation and Lady could definitely think about going on a date with Jake. He was funny, smart, handsome and very kind. They'd spent the whole night talking and laughing together and it had just been so easy, something about him just made her feel very relaxed. He had an easy smile and a chilled out attitude that made it difficult for her to worry about anything at all when he was smiling at her. Yeah, a guy like Jake might be worth going to dinner with. She considered that maybe asking him home with her could make her look trashy but then Jake didn't seem like someone who'd judge.
Bonnie and Marcy had disappeared off somewhere together and most of the other party guests were leaving. It was an easy thing for Jake to stand from the sofa and lift her with him, she giggled and clung on around his broad neck.
"So, where are we headed?" he asked.
"Next door. I keep telling Bonnie I can hear literally everything through the wall but she still won't stop being so fucking loud. For such a cutie she sure is dirty." Lady replied with a grin.
"You think that's bad? I share a bathroom with Marcy. She leaves stuff in there, stuff I don't even know the use of and I'm too afraid to google. I don't see any obvious piercings on her except for her ears but I found some weird jewelry in there last week, stuff that I really don't wanna know about."
"Kinda long metal bar with pink plastic balls on each end?"
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
"It's a tongue bar. Not to freak you out but Bonnie has her tongue pierced."
"Um, ew? Also, how do you know?" he asked as they made their way out onto the street together. Lady grinned and stuck her tongue out at him to show off her own piercing.
"We got them done at the same time. Like a kinkier version of friendship bracelets." she informed him with a sly grin.
"Kinky friendship sounds intriguing." Jake replied. Lady was already opening the door of her own building and he followed her inside a little unsteadily. The moment the door was closed behind him she was in his arms again, kissing him fiercely with hands tugging at his white cocktail dress.
"You don't wanna slow down, maybe take our time over it?" Jake mumbled around the kiss, although his own hands were inside her shirt and despite the quantity of alcohol he'd drank he was already very ready for her.
"No. I wanna do this right now, because you're hot and I'm hot and we're young and drunk and sometimes having fun with someone is just fun, right? Unless you don't wanna?" Lady asked, pulling back to examine his face.
"Hey, I'm way up for this. So long as you wanna go get dinner, maybe tomorrow night? I'm not usually a one night stand sorta guy."
He'd have kept talking but she'd slid a hand up and under his dress and was caressing him skillfully enough despite the alcohol that he was almost seeing stars and focusing on speaking was getting difficult.
"Silky panties?" Lady asked teasingly.
"Marcy's idea. Make the costume more realistic. Didn't wanna wear boxers under a dress." he panted in reply.
"You guys have such a strange friendship. You can tell me all about it over dinner tomorrow." Lady replied with a smile. Then she slid the offending silk panties down his legs, dropping to her knees as she did so and making Jake suck in a sharp breath and lean against the wall for support. He was definitely seeing stars that time.
...
Morning slipped into noon. Lady stayed asleep, much longer than she usually would. Probably that was to do with the drinking, Jake thought as he tiptoed quietly out of her bedroom. He wasn't putting the dress back on and he hadn't brought any other clothes so he draped a towel from the bathroom around his waist and washed the streaks of makeup off his face in the sink. Somehow Jake'd had an absolutely amazing night with a ridiculously hot girl and she'd agreed to let him stay, let him make dinner for her. He hoped so anyway, he'd be pretty disappointed if she kicked him out now that she was sober again. But dinner was a while away and even though his head was pounding Jake's stomach was growling at him; he decided to go investigate the kitchen.
Lady found him a half hour later flipping pancakes and whistling cheerfully to himself. She leaned in the doorway of her kitchen and took a moment to look at the man she'd brought home without him noticing her looking. He was broad, muscular, maybe getting just a little cuddly around the waist but she really liked that. She blushed when she remembered just how much she'd liked it last night, three times in a row and he'd still had the stamina to keep going. That in itself was pretty damn impressive but Jake seemed like a really nice person too. Yeah, she wasn't about to kick him out any time soon.
"You need a hand with anything?" Lady asked quietly. Jake jumped and almost dropped the pan.
"Hey! I was just making you some breakfast. You like pancakes, right?" he asked after a second.
"Yeah, I love them. There's some bananas and chocolate spread around the place if you're feeling in the mood." she replied lightly, taking all her bravery in her hands and coming forwards to slide an arm around his bare stomach. Jake leaned back into the hug and half turned to press a quick kiss against her forehead. Lady found she absolutely didn't mind that, it was weird but she felt like she'd known him a lot longer than just one night.
"Chocolate and me don't get on. I've got a rare allergy." he murmured. "But I can do some amazing stuff with just banana and maybe some other fruit if you've got any."
In the end Jake stayed all day, he called Marcy to drop by their apartment and pick up some clothes for him. She brought them over at the end of the afternoon but didn't stay long, still hungover herself and looking quite like a corpse that had gotten back up. While Lady was in the bathroom she consented to high-five her best friend and then punch him none too gently in the shoulder.
"Lady's awesome and she's Bonnie best friend. If you break her heart I'm honour bound to break your balls. Bro, I don't wanna. We're BBFs, but you know, Bon's amazing and I'd do literally anything to keep her happy. So if you hurt her friend I'm gonna have to castrate you, you know I will. Just take it easy yeah? I know I'm a total hypocrite and I shouldn't lecture anyone about taking it slow but seriously, I don't want you to get hurt either. Don't do anything crazy."
"Slow is my middle name." Jake replied with a self-conscious smile.
"Your middle name is Joshua and your Dad is totally gonna blame me if you elope or get her pregnant or something, he still expects me to be your voice of reason which is a bit weird since he's met me a lot of times and you'd think he'd know better." Marcy replied.
"Don't worry, I'm not planning on running off to marry a girl I just met last night or start a family with anyone. Lady's awesome and I really like her but I'm not stupid, I wanna get to know her before I decide if this could become serious." he replied.
Jake stayed the second night too and then they did take their time, tried everything slow and controlled. At some point when he was looking into her eyes and taking his time over it he fell in love with her. Despite everything he'd promised his best friend that afternoon Jake had a premonition that he was about to get into something crazy and wonderful that would either last forever or leave him crushed into a million pieces. Maybe he was a little psychic, after all.