AN: Just some halloween silliness. One-shot. Hope you like it!
Disclaimer: It wasn't me. All hail the source.
Feebs, Follies, and Finding Out
"Again, Tobias?"
Gibbs flipped open his phone with a sigh, then he held it at arm's length and gave it an exasperated glare. It was giggling.
"I'm not gonna answer the phone all night, T.C."
There was a muffled snort followed by another giggle. "Why not? You need more than one hand for what you're doing?"
"Yes, and I already told you I'm not coming. Told you twice now."
"I swear, Gibbs, do you love carpentry that much or are you actually the most antisocial human on the face of the planet?"
Gibbs didn't reply. One had nothing to do with the other and Fornell was going to amuse himself no matter what.
"Pretty please, Jethro?"
"Toby, you're hammered. And I don't need to come to a Feeb costume party to know what you're like when you're drunk! Get a ride and leave me out if it. I'm not coming."
"That was before, Gibbs!" The man on the other end stopped talking in a wheeze of laughter. He sounded like he was about to cry. "Jethro - ooh - you've got to see this for yourself, trust me! I know I wouldn't have missed it!"
"Well, sounds like you didn't."
"Gibbs, I'm just saying there's something other than a boat here you might want to get your hands on..."
"Doubt that. G'night."
Gibbs flipped the phone shut but not before he heard his friend trail off into yet more helpless laughter.
"Doubt away, Jethro, doubt away!"
Moments later the phone buzzed again. If Gibbs could have found the mute button without looking he might not have seen the picture that flared to life on the antiquated screen, but he couldn't, so he did, and he froze.
Son of a bitch, what is this?
He might have stared at the image for ten seconds or ten minutes, there was no telling, but he ascended the stairs and exited the house in a kind of fog, leaving his boat, his basement, and most of his wits behind him.
He slipped into place against the far wall of the ballroom where the FBI was holding its stupid Halloween party, sidled up next to Tobias Fornell with a glare that could sink a carrier. It was the same glare that had caused a junior agent's words to die in his throat when he'd stuttered something at the door about costumes being required. It was the glare Gibbs had left the house with.
"No costume, Tobias?"
"Got a reputation to maintain, Gibbs! Just like you." Fornell smirked and began mumbling. "...not sure how that's going to work out tonight, though..."
Gibbs leaned rigidly against the wall and watched the show. The skin on the knuckles of the hands in his pockets was stretched very tight.
A surprisingly rich baritone voice was snaking its way out of the surprisingly glossy lips of a tall, muscular young man whose long fingers curled comfortably around a large, thick microphone. People in unimaginable garb were gathered around him, and his body was moving in all-too-imaginable ways. The performer was in his glory and the room was eating it up, erupting in cheers and cat-calls as he continued his obscene and apparently hilarious number.
"I'm just a SWEET TRANSVESTITE, from transsexual - Tran-syl-VAY-nee-UH!"
Gibbs wasn't laughing, nor was he thinking - though his gut was kicking at the base of his brain with steel-toed boots. In short, he was not pleased. The photo hadn't lied.
DiNozzo. Lace-up vest, lipstick, hose, garters, black leather something-or-other that barely covered his ass or anything else, shocking high-heeled platform shoes, lots and lots of eyeliner...
Gibbs tried to make sense of it, of why Tony would be vamping up a Halloween party for the FBI. Just to annoy them? There were a few costumes standing around whose wearers seemed to be sipping vinegar, but only a few. He hated doing it but he turned to Fornell.
"Tobias, what is he doing? Why is he here?"
Fornell sighed his disapproval. "Christ, Gibbs, you're worse than I thought! Don't you let your kids have any fun?"
"He's not safe here."
This time Tobias gaped at him, shaking his head.
"Oh, you poor, poor man..."
As if to prove a point, though Gibbs wasn't certain whose, party-goers gathered around Tony, laughing, applauding, flirting, jostling, touching. He handled them like a pro, and all of Tony's gestures were familiar to Gibbs - the toss of his head, the broad winks, the teasing, wicked smile that was almost a sneer but was accompanied by loud laughter and the friendly twinkling of his eyes.
It was classic DiNozzo and Tony was in control. His gut beginning to subside, Gibbs watched the young man plant a sloppy, fake kiss on the cheek of a woman who looked like cross between a princess and a ghoul. He pretended to ignore his satisfaction at how quickly Tony's eyes slipped away from her and was turning to leave when he belatedly noticed just where Tony's eyes did go.
A gaggle of fit-looking costumed forms sauntered into Tony's space and everything just changed. Gibbs abandoned all thoughts of departing as the guys took their turns hitting on Tony. Suddenly the grin wasn't spread so achingly tight across Tony's cheekbones and his posture wasn't speaking of control. His curving costumed body didn't look silly at all. Instead he looked languid, feral, sexual. His voice couldn't even be heard as he chatted with the young men who congratulated him on his performance and his outfit. He dropped his chin here and there, a small but worldly gesture, before cocking his head ever-so-slightly in a subtle and scintillating exposure of his neck. His eyes - when Gibbs finally glimpsed them beneath the long lashes now on double duty - were nearly pure smoke, liquid fire, liquid sin.
Gibbs furiously swatted away what was undoubtedly Fornell's hand on his arm just as a muscly dude in a toga stepped chest to chest with Tony, reached around him, and grabbed a handful of his ass.
Tobias Fornell sighed for the umpteenth time. "Guess it's not really Halloween until all hell breaks loose..."
Gibbs crossed the room and everything happened at once. His own voice, raised in a shout. "DINOZZO!" Stunned silence then groans and jeers from everyone still in attendance around Tony. Over-loud whispers. "What's he doing here?" "Jeez, can't DiNozzo go anywhere without him?" "What a jerk!" "Might have known." Gasps when the toga dude sank to his knees because Gibbs' right hand was against his wrist forcing his palm back while the length of the older man's left arm swept out and pushed Tony from his grasp. Tony's face full of surprise, horror, embarrassment. Tony's eyes alight with anger and something else. Frowns and raised eyebrows as Gibbs grabbed Tony's upper arm. More silence as Tony roughly shook him off but nonetheless followed him out the door, loose and angry, tall and perfectly poised on five-inch heels.
Once outside, Gibbs turned to face Tony, having no rational explanation for what he had just done. He had no idea what he wanted to say but he fully expected Tony to save him the trouble. He was right. Tony was still and silent and his eyes bored into Gibbs'. It was more effective than speech and more damning. With Tony, it was also more honest and Gibbs sustained the younger man's attack in comparable silence, studying him.
DiNozzo had flowed smoothly alongside him all the way out of the building but now that they were alone and away from prying eyes he was rigid with fury. All of his tensed muscles were on display due to the costume, and the seductive makeup only looked dark and dangerous when Tony spoke through tight lips and clenched teeth.
"Didn't expect to see you here, Boss!"
"Obviously!"
"And let me guess, you have questions!"
"Maybe."
Tony's hands were on his hips, indignation still pouring off of him. "Well maybe I was just having fun, you know, like anybody else who ever puts on costumes or goes to parties, anyone but you that is, because..."
"That's not what I saw back there!"
Oh, really! What did you see, Gibbs?"
"You. Just before..."
Gibbs stopped himself.
"Just before you outed yourself to half the FBI?"
Gibbs knew he'd been played. His eyebrows rose along with the pitch his voice.
" DiNozzo, have you looked in the mirror!?"
Tony paused and met Gibbs' gaze levelly, soberly.
"Yeah, Boss. I have."
"Tony..."
The younger man waved dismissively. "It's not that much of a secret, Gibbs. Tony DiNozzo, omni-sexual. Most people think it's a joke."
Tony's voice broke a little on the last word and Gibbs had had enough.
"It isn't a joke though, is it?" he asked softly.
Tony sighed once, briefly, through his nose. "Of course not."
"Why?" Gibbs didn't need to say the rest of it. Why didn't I know? Why didn't you come to me?
"Would've been hitting a little too close to home, I guess. Jethro."
"Closer than you think." Gibbs nodded and allowed his gut to take over. "Let's go get some coffee. Then you should come home."
Tony's brows shot upward. "Don't you mean go home?"
"No, I want you to come to my home, Tony. For tonight. Can just talk, if you want."
"Right." Tony grinned and relaxed into a slump against the nearest car. His posture spoke volumes about just how overdue this all was and Gibbs' gut agreed. Blast Fornell if he hadn't been right about him wanting to get his hands on Tony.
"Think you could lose the costume?"
"What, you won't go to a diner with a sweet, towering transvestite?"
"From Translyvania!" both men said in unison.
"No that's fine, I was talking about after," Gibbs dead-panned.
Tony's voiced squeaked out, high and offended. "I thought you'd wanna take it off me!"
"I didn't put it on you, DiNozzo!"
Tony's eyes screamed 'jealous bastard' but his lips curved and his hands started to shake when he caught on.
"So first you wanna talk, now you wanna watch - tell me, Gibbs, am I going to make it home in one piece? And isn't there something holiday appropriate you should be saying?"
"Sure. Be mine?"
They joined hands and headed for Gibbs' car. Tony was laughing as helplessly as Fornell had been earlier and Gibbs turned the tables on him by supplying the chatter.
"...you should leave the eyeliner on, though. It looks really good..."
The End.