A/N: This is a sequel of sorts to my previous mini-novel, "Be Careful For What You Wish For", but this story can pretty much stand alone. This is an Oolong romance, and no, the girl in question is not Puar. I saw one Oolong/Puar, but that story had disappeared off of and I haven't seen any other stories then involving Oolong as the main character, let alone a romance.
If you are wondering where a certain redhead named Candy Apple comes into play, well, read "Be Careful" to learn more about her. She's not one of the main stars this time, although she is in here quite a bit. For those of you who don't know, Candy is Master Roshi's new wife who is pregnant with his child. Runs around with smelling salts to revive the readers who fainted at that sentence
And for Oolong's new amour, please read to the end of this chapter before you walk away; I promise that you will find this worthwhile, if you don't mind a romance story that isn't B/V or G/CC or V/P or whatever. Anyway, here we go!
This story takes place four months after "Be Careful" ends...
HOG WILD
Chapter One: Oolong Finally Gets Lucky...Sort Of
At the Hog Wild Motorcycle Shop And Biker Bar…
"Candy, I don't know about taking up motorcycling," Master Roshi told his new wife, Candy Apple Roshi, was serenely patting her pregnant tummy. Candy Apple, the popular fashion doll that Master Roshi had wished to life and later married, was now eight months pregnant. She and her aged, still somewhat perverted husband already knew that the baby would be a boy, and they had already named him Kane.
She, Master Roshi and Oolong and Puar were out motorcycle shopping at the insistence of Candy, who now wanted a new motorcycle. Thanks to the money coming in from her job modeling lingerie for a maternity wear company, Candy and Roshi now had plenty of money coming in every month. Candy had the perfect body and looks for a model; like the Candy Apple fashion doll, she was tall, with perfect, round breasts, candy-apple red hair, sparkling emerald-green eyes, a curvy body, and legs that would not quit. The only thing that would set her apart from the doll was her bulging tummy.
She was currently dressed in her newest outfit: a black leather jacket with fringes on the front and black leather pants with slits on the ankles and rhinestones on the pockets. Long brown suede boots accentuated the outfit.
They were now at the Hog Wild Motorcycle Shop and Biker Bar, currently inside the motorcycle shop. The store/bar was a large, roomy, converted duplex that resembled a huge shotgun shack. On one side of the building was the motorcycle shop, with a huge show window displaying two beautiful motorcycles. Biker, Harley Davidson, and Route 66 paraphernalia decorated the inside of the store and on the store shelves. Helmets, both old and used hung in neat rows on one side of the wall inside the shop. Leather jackets, pants, gloves and boots covered the wall opposite of the one holding the helmets. The floors were oak hardwood, clean, but well worn with a huge black and orange Harley Davidson mural painted in the center of the floor. On the wall behind the pine counter were framed pictures of motorcycle groups. A small trophy case filled with trophies for motorcycle racing also stood behind the counter. In the glass display case in the pine counter were shelves of fancy belt buckles and jewelry considered suitable for bikers.
Candy had her wild heart set on one of the bikes in the shop window, a brand-new shiny Harley Davidson motorcycle with chrome hubcaps. She knew that she couldn't ride it until after her baby was born, but she wanted to get one now, so that she and Roshi, who was not entirely enthusiastic with her idea, could learn how to ride it and work on it. She was currently admiring a twenty thousand dollar purple-and-black fantasy Harley that was trimmed with gold. And as a free bonus, it came with a matching helmet, which alone delighted the fashion-conscious Candy.
"I want that one," she told Roshi sweetly, pointing at the expensive motorcycle. Roshi's eyes bulged--not at the beauty of the bike, but the high price.
"Umm…Candy," he told her hesitantly. "Don't you think that maybe we should try for a bike that's...less costly, perhaps?"
Candy tickled Roshi under his chin. "We have more than enough money, darling!" she cooed. And then she leaned over and whispered in Roshi's ear, as she openly caressed his body with one slender hand, "And just think of what it would be like to make love on a Harley. We haven't done that yet!"
Roshi grinned lasciviously, suddenly having a fantasy of Candy dressed in leather stirrups, her bra and thong, sitting on the motorcycle with her perfectly shaped legs crossed, and himself dressed only in leather bikini men's underwear. (Okay, bad images…bad, bad images…)
He chuckled softly, and he looked at his new bride lustfully and said, "Well…I don't see how it could do any harm. In fact, let me tell you this fantasy that I just had of the two of us…" And he whispered his recent fantasy into Candy's eager ear.
Puar had heard them with her extra-sensitive hearing and squealed to Oolong in a whisper, "I wonder exactly what they hadn't done together yet."
Oolong, who had just returned from the restroom, was leaning in a corner, a little bored. No one except his friends would have recognized the shape-shifting pig at this moment, for Oolong was now in human form, a tall, bulky, handsome man, who almost resembled Nappa, Vegeta's former partner, except that he was a foot shorter than the deceased Nappa had been. Oolong, in his human male form, was dressed in blue jeans and a black tank top, hoping to attract women.
Oolong finally got his wish when a beautiful woman almost as tall as he was came from the back room. She had long, shimmering blond hair, a cape of gold draping over her back. She had piercing deep baby blues resting upon a creamy oval face. She also had a long, slender swanlike neck, with huge, perfect breasts even larger than those of Bulma and Candy. The young woman was dressed in a small black leather jacket decorated with silver spikes and Harley Davidson patches. The jacket was worn over a tight hot-pink tank top that showed off her wondrous mounds and a deep cleavage. Dark blue jeans hugged her hourglass figure and curvy hips, and they clung nicely to her long, tapered legs.
Oolong was openly drooling, and his drool was making a small puddle on the floor. The young woman didn't seem to mind though, as she pulled out a small, slender cigar with a wooden tip from her front jacket pocket. She lit the cigar casually with a skeleton-shaped brass lighter, and the smoke emitting from the little cigar smelled of cherry and vanilla. She then took out her cigar and said in a husky voice, "Hi, I'm Suiza Harvey, the owner of this shop and the bar next door. How may I help you today?" She took a puff on her cherry-and-vanilla cigar after she spoke, and rings of white smoke drifted away lightly from her mouth. Candy wrinkled her nose; she didn't care much for smoking, even though the scent of cherry and vanilla was sweet.
Meanwhile, Master Roshi was openly staring at Suiza's perfect body and drooling. His eyes were bulging when Suiza repeated her question, and then saying a bit curtly, "Hey old man, is it you or your lady who wants to buy something? What would you like to buy, if anything?" Her voice, slightly harsh, had a thick, breathy, quality to it.
A still drooling Roshi stammered, "Me and my wife would like to buy the cleavage--I mean the purple-and-black Harley in your shop window."
Candy glared at her husband darkly, and Suiza laughed, taking another puff of her cigar. Suiza asked, "And just what do you like best?"
"Those curves and lines…the shape of your sleek body--I mean of the Harley!" Roshi stammered too late. Candy frowned at him, and he looked down onto the floor, remembering once again that he was a married man.
"He means," Candy began edgily, "that the make and model of the vehicle is what we prefer. How many miles to the gallon?"
"A good thirty or forty, actually," Suiza replied, and then she took a better look at Candy. "Oh, man! I think I recognize you! You're that famous new maternity wear model, Candy Apple Roshi, am I right? A friend of mine's pregnant, and she mentioned you when she was looking through the Fulfillment Maternity Wear catalog."
Candy smiled then and laughed. "You've got it! Now, about that bike…do you mind if I climb into that shop window and take a closer look at it and inspect it?"
Suiza said, grinning, "Sure, why not? And while you're doing that, I think that I'll go help that other customer over there--the big, handsome hulky fellow with the floating kitty." She looked over directly at Oolong, who was anxiously looking at his watch. She did not know that the handsome fellow that she was admiring was worried because in approximately three minutes, he would go back into his natural form as a pig.
And now Miss Suiza Harvey was coming his way, sashaying casually past Candy, who was dragging an ogling Roshi closer to the shop window by his arm. Oolong was completely tongue-tied; he so badly wanted to say hello to her at least, but if he turned back into a pig before he could escape her…
"Hello, handsome," Suiza whispered gruffly to a trembling Oolong, who was now sweating because he only had one minute left before he went back to being a pig. "What's your name?"
Oolong stared at her gorgeous body with his mouth open, unable to speak a word. Finally, Puar squeaked, "He's a bit…shy, shall we say? His name's Oolong?"
"Ooooooh….long," Suiza purred, rolling the name off of her tongue like a ripe cherry. "I like it…different. Well, Oolong, I'm sure that you heard my name by now, Suiza Harvey. Are you interested in buying anything today, or do you just want to admire the merchandise?"
"I wouldn't mind admiring your merchandise," Oolong blurted out before he thought. His Nappa-like face suddenly reddened, and he panicked.
He quickly seized poor Puar by her tail and dragged her out of the shop and into the parking lot. Puar meowed loudly, as Oolong dashed behind a shed on the parking lot and hid them both behind it. After he automatically changed back into his natural form, he then released Puar's tail and seized the purple cat by her torso with both hands.
"Puar!" he cried desperately. "You have to do me a favor, please!"
"After you grabbed my tail?" Puar exclaimed indignantly.
"I'm sorry, really, I'm sorry!" Oolong said worriedly. "Please, Puar, I need you to go back in there, in the form I was just in-and talk to Suiza for me! I want to get to know her better, but she won't have anything to do with me, if she finds out that I am really a pig…"
"Who's as perverted as Master Roshi," Puar finished. "Marriage hasn't changed Roshi one bit."
"Please, Puar, pretty please!" Oolong begged, almost near tears. "I just need you to talk to her, get to know as much about her as you can! In the same form that I was in earlier. Please, please, please! I'd do it myself, but I can't keep any shape for more than five minutes, you know that!" He anxiously shook the small cat's body.
"Oh, all right!" Puar hissed. "I'll go talk to her, if you promise not to touch or grab me anymore today!"
"Thanks, Puar, I greatly appreciate this!" Oolong exclaimed excitedly, as he impulsively hugged her, squeezing her until he nearly broke her ribs.
"OOLONG!" she cried in an angry meow.
"Oh, sorry, so sorry! Now go talk to her! I want to know anything and everything about her, no matter what it is!"
"Okay, okay, just let me go, will you?"
Back inside the motorcycle shop…
Suiza was puzzled by Oolong's strange and sudden exit. She quickly sniffed her clothes and tested her breath to see if she smelled bad, but she didn't. Maybe it had been her cigar that had turned him off, although for the life of her, she couldn't imagine a bike shop customer being turned off by a little cherry-and-vanilla cigar…
Candy and Roshi were taking the bike for a test drive, after they had both effortlessly had lifted the bike out of the display case. Suiza had helped them wheel the bike outside, and Roshi was the one who had to drive. Candy, who was slender for someone who was eight months pregnant, climbed onto the back, with Roshi's help. Suiza frowned at this; she was not certain that it was safe for a pregnant woman to be riding on a motorcycle, but if the old man didn't go too fast, she probably would be okay. She hoped that the old man would be careful with her.
Roshi was now riding around the parking lot, and he was actually enjoying himself on the bike. Candy would have liked him to go faster, but there was the baby to be concerned about.
"WHEEEEEEEEE!" both of them yelled, as Roshi drove the bike around in circles.
"Hi, Suiza, sorry to run off like I did, but I had a sudden urge to answer nature's call."
"Oolong" was back, in his Nappa-like form, and Suiza looked at him a bit strangely, but then she laughed. "Oh, that's all right!" she said easily. "But you could have just used the restroom in here!"
"Umm…forget about that, sorry," "Oolong" (Puar) stammered. "Actually, I was just coming along with my friends, Roshi and Candy Apple. Candy insisted on buying a bike, even though she can't ride it until after her baby's born. Anyway…do you really own this shop?"
"That I do, that I do," Suiza said proudly. "Bought this old duplex and opened it myself just a year ago. It's been totally renovated, and it's doing well. Are you into motorcycle riding?"
"I'm about to be," Puar said as smoothly as Oolong could at times. "In fact, I had come along just to learn more about motorcycles. Would you mind telling a beginner such as myself about bikes?"
"Sure, why not?" Suiza said sweetly, just as Candy and Roshi were coming back towards her. Candy was waving a credit card.
"We'll take it!" Candy told her happily.
"I can't wait to ride Candy--I mean the bike--when we get home," Roshi said happily.
Suiza laughed at Roshi's fumbling. "Tell you what, you two! Since it's not everyday that I get a famous model, a crazy old man, and a handsome gent who can't find the potty on time all at once in here, I'm going to take off three thousand zeni off the bike. How's that sound?"
"Great, thank you!" Candy exclaimed happily.
"Yeah, thank you!" Roshi added joyously. "I can't wait to start getting miles out of my woman on this bike--er, I mean get some miles out of the bike…"
Suiza chuckled good-naturedly, as Candy handed her the check credit card. Suiza went back to the counter with Candy following her. After some paperwork and the showing of Candy's new motorcycle license had been done, Suiza finally charged the entire price of Candy's new bike on Candy's check card.
"Enjoy your bike!" Suiza told Candy and Roshi.
"We will," Candy assured her, tucking her arm in Roshi's. When they were outside of the motorcycle shop, Roshi then pulled out an empty capsule from his pocket and tossed it onto the floor. After a "poof" and a cloud of smoke, the entire motorcycle was encapsulated, and Roshi tucked the capsule containing the motorcycle back into his pocket.
"C'mon, Oolong, Puar!" he ordered his friends.
"Be there in a sec!" "Oolong" shouted to Roshi from inside the shop.
"I suppose that everyone's told you how lovely you are," Puar said smoothly as possible. Suiza chuckled.
"Quite a few folks," she said. "You're a quiet fellow, aren't you? That's alright; I like men of all kinds!"
"Even pigs?" Puar asked before she thought.
"Even pigs, depending on the hog of course," Suiza told her easily.
"That's good," Puar told her. "'Cause Oolong sure will be happy to know that!" She then covered her mouth in horror before she thought.
Suiza's turquoise eyes widened just a bit. "What did you say? You just mentioned yourself in third person."
Puar knew that she had to think quickly. "I-I sometimes speak of myself in third person. Oolong is a man like no other, as you will find out if you get to know him."
Suiza chuckled, as "Oolong" stood near the counter. She offered "him" a cherry-and-vanilla cigar, which "he" took. Puar didn't like smoking, but she was curious if the cigar tasted as good as it smelled. She took a couple of puffs and began hacking and coughing thirty seconds after she did.
"HACK! HACK!" she gasped, and Suiza patted "Oolong's" back.
"Not used to cigars, I see," she laughed again. "Ah, well. Hey, listen, Oolong, I know that we just met, but I'd like to ask you out to dinner at my biker bar tonight. Anything you like would be on me since I own that as well."
"Even catnip?" Puar squeaked before she thought. Oh, Dende! Oolong wouldn't have wanted catnip!
Suiza fell over laughing again. "Well, catnip's not normally on our menu, but I can get you some by tonight! Don't be late, handsome!"
"I-I won't!" Puar told her. "What time?"
"Seven o'clock," Suiza said. "And pay no mind to my friends in there; they'll mess with you a bit, but they won't do anything bad. They just like to show off. You're an unusual fellow, but I like you already! See you tonight, Ooos, can I call you Ooos?"
"Sure, why not," Puar stammered. "Well, I definitely have to go now! See you tonight!"
And Puar, in her human male form, quickly dashed out of the shop.
At five o'clock that evening…
Suiza decided to close up early, so that she could head over to her own bar to meet her friends. She chuckled at the thought of that good-looking, but somewhat strange Oolong. She really did want to get to know him better, but would he want her once he learned her secret?
Suiza now stood in the restroom looking at herself in the mirror. She sadly traced a finger along the dusty bathroom mirror above the ancient white sink. She wondered if she and Oolong ever became closer, if he would want her-and like her the way she was.
She looked carefully at her reflection, but it was not a tall, busty blonde with long-lashed, sky-blue eyes that looked back at her.
Instead, in the mirror, was the same woman with the same blond hair and blue eyes, but much shorter. A shorter, plumper woman.
A shorter, plumper woman who happened to be a snow-white pig with a pink snout.