A/N: I had to write it! The SouRin moment in Episode 10 was just so precious, i couldn't stop smiling all day! A big thanks to KyoAni for giving my OTP such a beautiful scene.
Enjoy!
~~Rin~~
I'm at the coffee shop.
I read the text over and over. My legs pick up a pace on their own, hastily making their way to said coffee shop where we agreed to meet up. While my body moves ahead, my mind wonders back – to those days we spent together in Samezuka, then even further back – in Sano. How long has it been since I last saw him? Why hasn't he contacted me all this time I was in Sydney?
A stack of letters flash before my eyes – written with inexperienced hands and childlike innocence, filled with good wishes, then concern, then understanding – none of which got a reply.
I grimace. Of course he didn't.
With a sigh I unlock my phone. The text shines brightly before my eyes again. I swiftly tap out a reply and hit send.
Almost there.
~.~.~.~.~
"It's about Sousuke-senpai."
"…"
"He's in Tokyo right now… and we wondered if it might be to have surgery on his shoulder. Just thinking about it worries me."
"What do you think Rin-senpai?"
"…"
"Well… he's walking the path he feels is right for him. I know he'll be fine. So you guys don't need to worry."
~.~.~.~.~
Heh! I told those two not to worry. And here I am, worrying myself sick over him. That Sousuke! He didn't even tell me he's having a surgery. Hasn't changed a bit, has he? Always carrying the burden on his own like a stubborn bastard!
But if he hasn't told me… does it mean he doesn't want me to know? Or maybe he didn't find it necessary to let me know. Maybe I'm not as important to him as I think. Or... perhaps the surgery went wrong somehow and he can't swim anymore so he didn't tell me?!
Just like that time.
Ah! What the hell! I can just ask him how the surgery went and it'll be alright. But… how do I ask him when he hasn't told me anything yet? For all I know, he still thinks I have no idea about it. And that's not all either. There's a part of me – a tiny insecure and scared part of me – that's afraid to hear the answer. Afraid of seeing that painful and defeated smile on his face again.
I love his smiles the most. But not that particular one. I hate that one.
I see it just as I turn the next corner. The coffee shop.
Sousuke – he must be inside. I can see him if I just go in. Just the thought of it makes my heart speed up. Not that I'll ever admit to it.
The door jingles softly as I push it open. A pair of eyes locks with mine and suddenly all I can see is ocean green. My heart keeps thundering while relief and a sense of overwhelming happiness fill my chest. Ten months. Ten months of staying away and burning with longing. Ten months of forcing myself to not think about him too much. Ten months of hard work and pain and loneliness.
Ten months without Sousuke.
"Hey", his voice pulls me back to the present. "Good to see you, Rin."
He's smiling. That same beautiful smile that makes me feel special and loved. A smile that's honest and pure. That drives me forward in my moments of self-doubt. A smile so contagious it makes me grin back at him.
"Hey, Sousuke."
Ten months without you.
And now I'm here again. With you. Right where I belong.
I'm so happy I wanna run and jump in his arms. Wrap my arms around him and breathe him in. Run my fingers through those dark strands and kiss him senseless with all the passion bubbling inside me. Call me a sap if you will. I don't give a damn.
Sousuke of course, sees right through me.
His eyes discreetly warn me not to do anything stupid. And I, flustered by being caught with the thoughts, tear my eyes away from him and look around. The café is small and mostly empty. But there's a man at the back end reading newspaper and watching us from the corner of his eye.
Oh.
Sometimes I tend to forget how different Sydney and Tokyo are.
With a sigh I walk over and take a seat on the stool beside him. There's a cup of coffee and a glass of iced water in front him. I'm served the same soon enough.
And then, it's just silence.
If it was any other time, I'd have no problem conversing with him. In fact, I'd actually be talking non-stop. There's so much to talk about. So many things in Sydney I wanna tell him about. So many questions I wanna ask.
But now, one single question is stuck in my throat like a persistent bone. And I'm so busy trying to muster up the courage to ask it that I can't think of anything else to say.
"It's been a while, huh?" I start lamely, for the lack of anything more interesting to say.
"Yeah", he replies, not looking at me. "When did you get in from Sydney?"
I can definitely hear the unsaid "you didn't tell me you're coming" in that tone. Ha! I refuse to feel guilty. You didn't tell me about your surgery either, you stupid dork.
"Uh… a little while ago. I'm here for the All-Japan Invitational."
… Truth is, I wanted to surprise him. But of course, I'm not gonna let that slip.
"The All-Japan, huh?" His voice turns wistful. I know what he's thinking. He uses that tone subconsciously only when he's thinking about how he's never gonna swim with me. I don't think he even realizes it – the way his voice goes lower and the words escape with a sigh. But I hear it. I feel it. Every time. And just like every time, it hurts.
I look down at my lap. If he's getting depressed hearing about the All-Japan Invitational, could it mean that he… he really can't swim anymore?
I want to ask him. I want to ask him so bad and get rid of this anxiety in my heart. But–
But I'm just too afraid…
So what I do instead is dig into my backpack and take out the most ridiculous looking t-shirt I could find in all of Sydney. It's pink. Like, really pink. With a Koala on top of a rocket!
"I got you a souvenir too." And thrust it on his face.
He's startled, to say the least. As he takes the t-shirt in both hands and opens it up to see, his face changes from confusion to mortification. Finally, to amusement.
"Uh…" Well well, it's not every day you see Yamazaki Sousuke become speechless.
"You have a scary looking face, so I thought it'd soften your image a little", I offer, trying to sound sarcastic while my stomach churns with thoughts of his surgery. I'm aware that I'm making a weird face. Hiding the nervousness and worry with a forced smile. I just hope he doesn't notice.
"Very funny." He doesn't. Or maybe he just pretends to overlook, to give me more time. I don't know.
"Shut up", I look away from that understanding smile. "I had the right idea, didn't I?"
He just keeps smiling.
Ask him. Ask him. Ask him!
"Oh, I stopped by Samezuka too!" Yup, I'm a coward. I can't bring myself to ask one stupid question. So I keep blabbering. "Seems like Ai and Momo made it into the regionals."
"Oh good. Those guys worked hard."
Ask him now!
"Oh, and apparently, my coach Mikhail is a relative of Ai's."
Damn it! Why am I talking about Mikhail here? This is where I should be telling him that Momo and Ai informed me about his surgery. What the hell, Rin!
"For real?" he looks genuinely surprised.
I look away. "Yeah", my voice goes quieter. "Small world, right?"
From the corner of my eye, I see him smiling again.
"Sure is."
Now. I have to ask him now.
"So anyway, Sousuke…" I start. Then I lose words. How do I tell him? What do I tell him? Hey Sousuke, I heard you had a surgery. So how did it go? But what if it actually didn't go well and I end up hurting him by bringing it up?
But I need to know!
"I mean…" I try again, but the words just won't come. "Um… so…"
Damn it!
I take a peek at him from the corner of my eye, still facing straight ahead. He's turned towards me. And he's smiling that knowing smile.
"You want to ask how my surgery went, right?"
Like I said, he always sees right through me.
~~Sousuke~~
"You want to ask how my surgery went, right?"
He jerks in surprise when I say it. Did he really think I wouldn't know? The moment he said he'd been to Samezuka, I knew Momo and Ai must have already told him.
Stupid Rin.
My stupid Rin. Who probably rushed to Tokyo as soon as he heard about my surgery. Who greeted me just like before without any spite even though I haven't been keeping in touch since he left. Who's been here with me for almost half an hour now, talking randomly the whole time, but not being able to ask the one thing he wants to know the most.
"Y-Yeah…" he finally replies, looking down again. He looks downright miserable, to be honest. Glassy eyes, body hunched in, voice trembling – if it wasn't a public place, he'd probably be trying to hide himself in my chest.
I kinda wish he would.
Seconds tick away. I keep watching him. His nervousness slowly turns to concern. I still keep watching. Then, when I see hints of fear starting to shadow his beautiful face, I give in.
I turn on my stool to fully face him. I wanted to tell him the news looking him in the eye. But he's hiding his face under those wine red bangs. If I'm not wrong, he's assumed the worst already and trying to hide his tears. It is kind of my fault too, I guess. Taking my sweet time answering is bound to make him think like that.
I smile. He doesn't have to be afraid anymore.
"A success."
His head shoots upward first, then towards me. Those ruby eyes are wide with surprise, as if he can't quite believe what he's heard.
"The surgery was a success", I say it again. With pride. With confidence.
I can swim with you again.
Tears well up in those pretty eyes. Tears of happiness, of pride. They remind me of our last relay in Samezuka. He was crying then too. But those were tears of sadness. And pain of shattered dreams.
~.~.~.~.~
"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?!"
"Because I knew… you'd cry."
~.~.~.~.~
"I'll be waiting for you."
"… I'll give it some thought."
~.~.~.~.~
But not this time. This time, we've won against fate. It's a victory for our dream. For us.
He quickly hides his face with the cap when the teardrops start spilling over. "Good", his voice is thick and shaky with the effort of suppressing the sobs. "That's what I wanted to hear."
The world knows Matsuoka Rin as a rising swimmer with the potential to go global. Sydney knows Matsuoka Rin as the hard working energetic athlete who never gives up. Samezuka knows Matsuoka Rin as the capable captain, the best butterfly and freestyle swimmer. Iwatobi knows Matsuoka Rin as an old and dear friend, the one who loves to swim and dreams of going to the Olympics.
But this, this person in front of me – the one who acts tough just to hide his insecurities, the one who likes chick flicks and cries at the movies and then denies it, the one who starts humming some romantic pop song whenever he thinks no one's watching him, the one who loves spicy food and sports drinks, the one who sucks at showing his family and friends how much he adores them, the one who visits his father's grave once every month just to talk to him – this is the Rin only I know.
The naïve, emotional, romantic and stupid Matsuoka Rin.
My Rin.
If it wasn't for the waiter behind us and the man reading newspaper at the corner, I'd be hauling him onto my lap and kissing those tears away. Since I can't do that here, I go for the only other option that can stop his tears.
"You crying?" I say in a teasing voice.
"Like hell I am!" As expected, he turns his face away with a jerk.
I look ahead smiling, giving him time to wipe his eyes. "I feel like I'm finally standing at the starting line." Right beside you. Where I belong. "Keep taking on the world until I get moving."
"Don't get smart with me", and he's back with a retort. "I don't have time to wait around."
Heh! Such a liar.
"I've gotta keep moving ahead, even beyond the horizon", he finishes dramatically.
"Another poem?" I smirk. Always the romantic.
His answering smile is dazzling. "It's fitting enough now, isn't it?"
I smile back, bumping his fist with my own.
Yes. It's perfect.
"Ne, Sousuke…"
"Hmm?"
"Why didn't you– Nah. Never mind."
We've long since finished our coffee. I'm actually preparing to leave when Rin suddenly shoots the question – more like, half a question – at me. I sit back down and look at him. He averts his eyes.
"Rin."
"…"
"Look at me Rin."
He keeps staring straight ahead.
"I did write a lot of letters, you know", I say with a chuckle.
That gets his attention. "But I didn't–"
"I know you didn't get any", I cut him off. "I didn't send them."
"Huh?!" he's looking at me with wide eyes again. "Why?!"
I rub the back of my head nervously. Huh… I was hoping I wouldn't have to answer this question.
"It's not like I intended to avoid you. You know I'm too far gone for you to do that", I say the last bit in a whisper. From the corner of my eye, I see his cheeks turn red. Great, that makes two of us. "It's just… every time I wrote a letter, I wished I could tell you all those words face to face and… ended up not sending any of them."
We become quiet; both too embarrassed to say anything.
"I'm here now", it's Rin who breaks the silence with a whisper.
"Huh…?" I look at him, confused.
He looks into my eyes, determined and sure of himself. The only other time I've seen this look on his face is when he stands on the starting line, ready to swim.
"You wanted to tell me face to face, right?" a tiny smile appears at the corner of his lips. "I'm here now."
His fingers lace with mine. I look around in panic. But the waiter seems to be talking to that other customer right now and from where they are, they can't see our hands.
"Tell me Sousuke…"
A storm. That's what he is. A big wild typhoon that makes a mess out of my senses every single time.
"Rin…"
He waits for me. With a smile on his lips, a twinkle in his eyes. I realize how lucky I am to have the brightest, gentlest, most beautiful man sitting right here in front of me, patiently waiting for me to catch up to him. And I know he deserves to hear the words I'd been sealing inside my heart all this time.
"I missed you Rin", I squeeze his hand. "Every day, every night… I wanted to see you so bad. I wanted to pick up the phone and call. But I was afraid I'll become even weaker if I hear your voice. It was… it was so lonely without you."
"Sou– I–" his voice quivers. "… I missed you too. A lot…" He lowers his head, tearing up again.
Alright. I've reached my limit. I can't just watch my lover sit and cry in front of me and do nothing. I don't care what people think.
I reach out and pull him close until his head collides with my chest. His body trembles with quiet sniffles as he nuzzles against me. My fingers trail up his back and rest on his head, smoothing out the wild strands. Tears soak through my shirt, but I keep holding on to him.
I can feel two pairs of eyes giving me sharp looks. They don't say anything, but I can sense that they don't welcome something like this either.
To hell with them. We're just gonna find some other coffee shop next time.
When the trembling slowly subsides, Rin pulls away from me. I reach into my pocket and take out a handkerchief, holding it out for him. He takes it and wipes his face. "Thanks."
"We'd better get out", I say, looking around.
Rin takes the hint and nods.
"Where are you staying?" he asks once we're out of the shop.
"Nowhere."
"Huh?"
"I came to the hospital directly, so there was no need for a hotel. They released me today after the rehab and everything", I point at my bag. "I was planning on going back home directly."
"Oh…" he looks crestfallen.
"You're staying at a hotel, right?"
"Huh? Yeah", he replies absentmindedly. "Since I'm here for the All-Japan."
He still hasn't caught the hint, has he?
"Rin…" I call his name softly. He looks up. "I don't have to go back today… if you want."
It takes exactly three seconds for the words to click in his head. And then, his lips stretch into the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.
"Sousuke!"
"Hmm?"
"Let's go to my hotel!"
I chuckle, shaking my head. So much for being subtle.
"As you wish."
~~Rin~~
His lips latch onto mine as soon as the elevator door closes. I sigh in contentment, opening my mouth eagerly. His tongue invades almost instantly, licking every inch he can reach. As if he's been starving for me.
I'm no better I guess. I've been starving for him for the past ten months too.
Suddenly I'm pressed up against the wall at the back of the elevator and all I can see, all I can feel, all I can hear is – Soususke, Sousuke, Sousuke. His taste, his scent, his breath. It feels as if I'm about to be consumed by the overwhelming emotions inside of me.
It excites me. Entices me.
Just as his fingers slip under my shirt, the elevator dings. We barely manage to tear our lips away from each other and stumble out on the empty hallway of the 10th floor.
"My room… ahh… it's the… third one on the right!"
"Mmmm…" his hand slides up my chest underneath the clothes while his mouth is busy peppering kisses all over my neck. "Hurry up."
My shirt is barely hanging by one of the sleeves when I reach the door. It takes four tries to finally unlock the damn thing – Sousuke keeps up his teasing, letting out a breathy chuckle against my neck every time I fail, leaving me all hot and bothered – and finally, finally we're inside.
He presses me up against the door this time, our shirts already forgotten on the floor. It's like we're horny teenagers again – making out at the entrance, not even bothering to go to the bedroom.
Not that I mind. I waited ten long months. I need him now.
"Rin…" the low and husky voice makes my body shiver. "Rin… Ah… God! How I missed you Rin…"
"Sou…" I sound so breathless even to my own ears. "I love… mmhnnmm… I love you Sou…"
He starts sucking and nipping at my neck while his hands trail down my back and reach the hem of my t-shirt. I thread my fingers into his raven hair and pull, making him raise his head and join our lips again.
"Love you too Rin", the words form against my lips. "Love you so damn much!"
We tug at each other's clothes, desperate to feel skin on skin. And soon we're left with nothing but boxers. His hands slide down slowly, going past the waistband of my boxers and hoisting me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him closer with a smirk.
He devours that smirk.
I push my hips forward, rubbing against him. He growls. We're both panting by now, our skin slick with a mess of sweat and saliva. And I fucking love this!
"Sorry Rin…" he breathes out while grinding against me. "I… hah… I promise to make sweet love to you… nngh… all night! But–" he grinds down harshly, making me groan. "But I'm at my limit right now!"
I lean in to leave butterfly kisses along his shoulder, the one that got surgery. "I've been waiting for ten months Yamazaki", I whisper in his ear. "Fuck me already!"
His answering growl makes my toes curl. "You're gonna be the death of me!"
The first finger burns. I have to breathe in and out to slowly relax myself. Sousuke understands of course, and waits patiently for me to adjust. When I give the signal, he starts moving it. Slowly at first, then speeding up.
"You're so fucking tight, Rin!"
"It's been… t-ten months", I look away, face flushed in embarrassment. "Of course I am."
He kisses it away. The embarrassment, the hesitation, the shyness. "Feels like I'm taking your virginity again", he whispers against my ear.
"Ah… Sou…" I whimper when his finger brushes against my prostate. He smirks and adds another, brushing against the same spot. I'm a complete mess by the time he's added a third.
"Enough… Enough! I'm ready!"
The fingers are replaced by something else soon. I whimper as he pushes in, feeling my insides squeeze against every inch of it. When he's fully in, he drops his head on my shoulder, breathing harshly.
"Sousukeee…" I whine. And that's all it takes for him to start thrusting hard and fast. Yes, that's just how I need it right now. I cling to him, moaning shamelessly while he keeps pushing in and out.
"Rin… Rin, I'm so close", his voice is rough, and incredibly carnal. "I don't think I can–"
"It's okay. It's okay. I won't last much longer either."
The rest is a frenzy. Like I've been drugged. One moment I see his face contorted in ecstasy, the next all I can see is white as pleasure fills every inch of my skin, running through my blood like liquid fire and spilling over.
When was the last time I had an orgasm this intense? I don't know. I can't think. I probably don't even remember my name right now.
After I'm finally able to get my senses back, I open my eyes. I never realized I'd closed them. The familiar ocean green stares back at me with a smile. "Hi…"
Unable to suppress the giggle that's about to escape my lips, I swoop down to steal a kiss. "Hello there."
He slowly takes me down, holding onto me until I can stand on my own feet without doubling over. When raise my head, I find him looking at me with gentle eyes full of love and warmth.
"Care for a bath?"
I wrap my arms around him and smile. "Only if you join…"
"Sou…"
"Yeah?"
I look at our intertwined fingers and wonder if this is a good time to ask. We've been all over each other the whole night. Remembering each other's body and making up for all the time spent alone. And now, we're lying in my bed – naked, yes – my body pressed against him as he takes our joined hands up to his lips and starts kissing.
"Rin?" he looks at me when I don't say anything for a while.
"Why didn't you…" Come on Rin. Say it! "Why didn't you tell me about your surgery?"
He stares at me for a long time. And I start wondering if maybe I should've picked a different time for this. Then, his lips curl up ever so slightly and he looks up. "Because I knew you'd leave everything and run to me."
I look down. He's right. He's always right. But–
"Of course I would! Nothing's more important to me than you. You know that!"
"I know Rin", he smiles softly. "But your dream is much more important to me. Even more than my own."
"Sou…"
"If– If you'd put everything on hold just to stay with me and then the surgery had gone wrong…" his face hardens. "I would've been holding you back for no reason. I can accept everything Rin, even giving up my dreams. But I can never stand it if I'm somehow getting in the way of your dreams. I will never allow myself to do such a thing."
This guy! How many times does he intend to make me cry in one day?
"Stupid", I mumble, nuzzling my face against his neck. "My dreams changed the day I fell in love with you."
His fingers brush against my skin, warm and gentle. And full of love. "Yeah? So what's your dream now?" he whispers.
I look up at him and press our lips together in a chaste kiss. "The same as before, but with you by my side."
He grins.
"Let's make it come true then."
A/N: Ah! Been watching Free! for a while now and finally my first Free! fanfic is done!
If you wanna know, Rin is my favorite character and I love SouRin, MakoHaru, MakoRin, IkuYori and of course, ReiGisa. I'm a bit sad that the new season is reaching it's end. Hope we'll get an OVA like Free! ES. I loved that one.
On a different note, Kisumi's such a darling and I really hope KyoAni will feast our eyes with some Sou-Kisu-Rin moments. I wanna see the Sano trio so bad!
Thanks a lot for reading! Let me know what you think about it!