I don't own anything but the plot line. :)

Sirius Black walked (well more like leaped) down the stairs to the Gryffindor Common Room. He saw a bit of sandy blonde hair poking up over the back of an armchair. He crawled on his hands and knees to place his head under the armrest and then darted up in a very fast, but not in the least bit frightening, motion. Remus Lupin turned his head.

"Padfoot, what is that on your chin?" Lupin questioned pointing at his friend's lower facial area. A very thin square of black hair coated the surface. "You seemed to have missed a spot while you were shaving."

"Remus, my boy, you know nothing of facial hair! This is my soul patch. An extraordinarily cool fashion statement." Sirius motioned to his handsome jaw, a superior smile playing on his lips.

"And what is the statement?"

"Well. . . . err, it says that I am a laid-back, ladies man, who-coincidentally, is the most attractive person in the room."

Remus blinked. "Keep telling yourself that." Sirius's grin fell slowly. He shook his head in utter confusion, his dark hair was whipping back and forth. Cocking his head to the side in a mystified manner.

"What's wrong with my soul patch?" Sirius became flustered, and when he was flustered he became feverish, and when he was feverish he tended to-

Sirius Black woke up in the hospital wing. He snuggled deep under the covers of the warm, cushy bed. Yellow sunlight poured though the open window, and the faint music of birds was audible.

"This is the third time this month, Mr. Black. You seem to faint more often each school year." Madame Pomfrey gazed down on the seventh year student. "I want to know the cause of these incidents."

"Well you see, Ma'am, it all started when Remus Lupin commented on my soul patch- wait, wait, I forgot! Madame Pomfrey, what do you think of my patch made of soul?" Sirius asked with eyes wide like saucers. Two fingers sitting on the top of the hair.

"Your what?"

"The new statement of style! Madame, it seems one of my good friends does not truly appreciate this addition to my beauty. So I have to wonder, what is the opinion of a lovely woman like yourself?"

Poppy Pomfrey looked at him with a blushing face. Her eyes slightly glazed. "Well. . . Black, you seem to be feeling more- lively." A few seconds of silence hung in the air between them. Poppy shook her head as if there was water caught in her ears. "OUT, Black, out!''

After Sirius was beaten over the head with a copy of Witch Weekly he bumbled down the stair case. Coming to a mirror in the Entrance Hall he looked himself over; day old shirt, he could work with that, no shoes, but socks, better for sliding across the floors, and finally the soul patch. Cool. COOL! After two people had failed to comment on the coolness of his facial hair he had to find someone who would. The quest would be called; "Sirius Black, Finding the Soul in his Patch!"

Sirius cart-wheeled into the Library. He came to a stop at the table of a young group of Hufflepuff witches. They raised their eyes to him, as if to get a better look at his face. The witches immediately knew the boy they were dealing with. Sirius Black was the gem of Gryffindor house. They burst out laughing. One witch pointedly grabbed his chin. She held it close to her friends' faces so they could get a better look at the hilarity that was Sirius Black's soul patch. Offended, Sirius wiggled out of her grip and placed his hands on his hips. He turned on his heel with a, "Humph!", and walked to another table.

Lily Evans had her hair pulled away from her face in a dark red braid. She was currently writing an essay for potions. She was determined to finish quickly, well she was until Sirius approached her with life-or-death question,

"Lily! In one word, describe my soul patch."

"No, Sirius."

"What?"

"The word is, 'no'. Shave it."

"What?"

"You're too thick for me to deal with right now."

"Lily Evans, if there is one thing I am not it is thick! You know the reason I can't play Quidditch is because I have a very thin skull! I am deeply offended!"

"I see, your skull is so thin your brain matter tends to leak out. That answers so many questions."

With his mouth spluttering, Sirius told Lily she was, "Impossible.", and left the library. As he stumbled up the stairs he sang his lonely song (all rights to Eric Carmen);

" When I was young
I never needed anyone
And makin' love was just for fun
Those days are gone "

"Livin' alone
I think of all the friends I've known
But when I dial the telephone
Nobody's home "

"All by myself
Don't wanna be, all by myself anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live, all by myself anymore"

"Hard to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure
And love so distant and obscure
Remains the cure"

His eyes' vision slightly blurred, Sirius walked to the Fat Lady he gave her the new password, "Muttonchops.", and dejectedly climbed into the portrait hole. When he dropped into the Common Room it was completely silent. Everyone was playing outside on this beautiful day. He could hear their laughter. He secretly knew that they were laughing at him. At his soul patch. Nothing really mattered anymore. His image was ruined. His days at Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry over. Yes. Nothing truly mattered. Sirius decide that he would hide here, under this blanket next to the fireplace forever. Or at least until he died his lonely death. Then he could wander the school for generations to come. He could do it for the children. Their laughter at his facial hair would give him a new meaning. He cried himself to sleep.

Sirius woke up to the face of his best friend, James Potter, poking his face. "Hey buddy," he said in a gentle voice, "Lily told me you were having some problems. You want to talk about it?"

"Jamie, nobody likes my soul patch."

"Not true! I like it- no I love it!"

"Really?"

"Really."

"Okay."

"Good, now promise me something, nev-"

"What?"

"Let me finish! Never shave off that soul patch unless you want to, alright?"

"Alright."

And he never did.

Thanks for reading! Please review, and see you next time. :)