Sometimes I wonder if humans realize that they're even staring.
I never stare without being fully in control of the fact that I'm most likely making the other person feel awkward and confused. I'm also well aware that the fact that I stand on a street corner for two hours every morning might seem odd to most people. However, it's not like I cause a public disturbance- this is merely a part of my routine. Isn't it odd that a man goes to the same coffee shop every morning, orders the same thing every morning, and then sits and stares at the same person every morning? I think so.
But he's unimportant, just as the rest of those horrible creatures are, just as-
"Excuse me, do you know how to get to the nearest convenience store from here...?"
The voice is soft and timid. My first thought is that it's annoying to hear a voice that could be strong and powerful be that demure, but I don't turn around as I answer the stranger's question.
"Walk down this street here, turn left, turn right."
"Ah...thank you very much."
Not offering a reply, I go back to my people watching. I hate humans, the whole lot of them, but this observing helps with what I do for a living, and so I watch, every day. I see all examples of their weakness and malignance. I overhear conversations that would most likely be better left unsaid. If I imagine, then I can touch, smell, taste the rotten disease that's infected this species since they first walked the planet.
I still don't look as the man heads away. I probably won't see him again.
:
When the same thing happens the next day, him asking directions for the convenience store, I actually do turn around.
As humans go, he's very easy on the eyes. However, I've learned over the years that the worst sort are always the people like this, the people who you take one glance at and think that maybe, maybe you can trust them. Blonde hair is slightly tussled from the wind, crimson eyes that are the exact shade of my own framed by dark-rimmed glasses. A white scarf is wrapped his neck, which immediately strikes me as abnormal, because it's the middle of August. His clothing (what looks like a bartender's outfit) suggests that he either has an important job or a weird sense of style.
But it doesn't matter to me either way. He's just a passing face, after all.
"Don't you remember from yesterday?"
"Yesterday?" He seems puzzled. "Yesterday...oh, yeah! Um, I forgot again, sorry..."
I sigh. "If you're looking for an excuse to talk to me, you should at least ask for a different place each time."
A flash of indignation, and then it is gone. "I honestly forgot. I'll try to remember this time, I promise."
"Alright," I say, and repeat my instructions from the day before. He nods his thanks and is gone yet again.
I can't shake the feeling that he'll be back tomorrow.
:
It turns out that the feeling is right. Much to my chagrin, he asks for the convenience store for a third time.
"No. I'm not telling you. Go find someone else to hit on."
"I...I'm not trying to hit on you! I just get lost and forget directions easily!"
"Don't tell me that once you got to where I said to turn, you had to ask for directions again, every time."
His embarrassed silence is all I need. "It's like I said."
"Rather unfortunate for you, then."
"I'm Tsukishima," he says, after a moment of hesitation. I scoff; I haven't even asked for his name. "But you can call me Tsuki."
"Hachimenroppi. Don't even think of giving me a nickname."
"Roppi-san, are you here every day?" Through the curiosity in his tone I notice that he's ignored me and christened me with the most idiotic variation of my name that I've ever heard. Well, two can play at that game.
"Yes, every day, Tsukishima. But don't think that makes me your tour guide."
He seems put off that I won't call him by his cutesy label, which sounds like something a pedophile posing on the internet would name their fabricated identity. "I didn't mean it that way. I just see you here a lot, that's all."
"There are a lot of people that come here every day."
Silently I can feel his amiable agreement with my statement, but he replies anyways, "You're just the most noticeable, I think. But," he adds, suddenly looking startled, "I don't mean that in a bad way, Roppi-san."
I laugh. It's true, I am the most noticeable human here. Short black hair is normal enough, and even sharp red eyes aren't automatically catching, but my clothes are enough to make some of the more uptight humans turn back twice to make sure they've seen properly. I can't help but love the black coat with striking red fur around the cuffs and collar. It's also a part of my routine, and thinking about that, it hits me just how unjust I was in thinking that Tsukishima was an oddity for wearing winter clothes during summertime.
"Don't you need to get to the convenience store?" I won't lie about my impatience for him to leave. Something in his presence is unsettling, different.
His eyes light up. "Oh, yes! Will you remind me how to get there, Roppi-san? I know for sure it'll stick today."
I doubt that, but parrot my advice anyways. "Walk down this street, turn left, and then turn right. Try to look for landmarks you recognize so it'll be less of a struggle next time."
"Ah, I see. Thank you very much!"
:
The next day I'm met with anxious red eyes.
"Roppi-san, I...I didn't remember..."
The exasperated sigh that escapes my lungs at this is entirely not my fault. "Today, I'm walking there with you." Anything to get this guy off my back. Irritatingly enough, he seems excited at the prospect. "What do you possibly need every day at the convenience store?"
"I bring flowers to my brother, in the hospital, and I also get the snacks he likes," Tsukishima explains. "I can do it all in time before work, so I don't mind."
"What do you do for work, anyways?" Or rather, who would even hire someone with absolutely no sense of direction?
"I work at a business that loans money to people. I have a desk job, since I don't think I'd be too useful at trips to foreign places..." The blonde chuckles sheepishly. I find I don't dislike the sound of his laughter, as I do with most others.
The job makes sense for him, and there are worse things, as occupations go.
"That's nice."
"What do you do, Roppi-san?"
"Here we are," I say, avoiding the question. We've arrived at the rather good-sized store. "Think you can find it tomorrow?"
A flustered look crosses his features. "Oh, I...I didn't realize it, but I was really concentrated on talking to you, so I didn't pay attention."
In all honestly, I should have expected this, and the half-hearted glare I send him is entirely not my fault.
:
"Are we friends?"
I raise an eyebrow. "Not going to ask for directions first, Tsukishima?"
"I brought you this," he says, offering me a coffee from the cafe across the street. I can't help but feel mildly surprised, reaching out to accept it.
"Thanks, I guess. And to answer your previous inquiry, no, we are not."
"Why?"
I blink. Tsukishima has a strange habit of asking far too many questions, and at things any other human would have just left alone. "Friends are people who have a mutual agreement to leech off each other."
"I've never heard that definition," he argues.
"Because you're naive," I retort without missing a beat.
"You really don't like people, do you, Roppi-san...?"
Has he just figured that out now? "Humans are disgusting creatures. They're selfish and don't care about anything other than themselves."
"You're one too, though."
"Yes," I agree. Obviously.
The blonde looks away. "Is...is that why you have scars on your wrists?"
"Exactly, Tsukishima." He didn't expect me to be so open about it, I can tell- his scarlet gaze speaks his shock as clearly as a glass windowpane. I don't remember ever being that yielding with my emotions. I've learned how to let my windows fog up until even I can't see inside. "When did you see?"
"When you took the drink, I saw down your coat sleeve...is that why you wear it all the time?"
"Hah. Do you wear that scarf all the time because you have scratches all over your neck?"
"No, this is just important to me."
"And I just like this coat. Alright?"
The conversation ends, but I can still feel his dubious stare.
:
"Everyone got sick at the office," Tsukishima tells me the next day. I don't understand why this makes him as nervous as he looks until he continues, "so I'm the only one they can send on this business trip. I have to leave this afternoon."
"You're afraid of getting lost and messing up?" He nods frantically. "Alright, just don't freak out. You had no problem asking me for directions, right? Just do that a lot."
"But what if people get mad at me?"
"As long as you get directions, then I don't think it matters, Tsukishima."
"But..." He winces, staring intently at the ground. "I don't like it when people get mad at me."
Of course he wouldn't. That's just the type of human he is, one of the ones always seeking approval, always fearful of making a mistake. I won't bother listing all the reasons why he just shouldn't care. "Most people are nice about it, don't worry."
He doesn't appear any more relieved. "Roppi-san, do you have a cell phone?"
"No," I reply, and I'm not even lying. I don't have any use for a phone aside from work related purposes, since I don't have 'friends', and so I generally take advantage of the pay phones that can be found all over the streets when I need to talk to someone. I hate phones. I'd much rather talk face to face, heaven forbid the activity known as 'texting'. It's so easy to deceive when the other person can't see your face.
"Ah..." Tsukishima is predictably disappointed. "Well, just in case you want to talk, this is my number." He offers me a slip of paper; something about this is just so comical I want to reject him, but I take it anyways.
"My, so forward, Tsukishima. Giving me your number already?"
I admit it, I might have a slight thing for teasing him. His cheeks flush a light pink, eyes averted, and sometimes he even begins to stutter as he vehemently denies whatever I've said. "I-I'm not trying to make a move on you, I swear, I just..." The rest of what he's trying to tell me fades away, his teeth trapping his bottom lip in a worried gesture.
I have to stop myself from thinking that it's adorable.
:
The next day, I realize ten minutes into my two hour observance just what it is that's missing from my routine.
:
I buy a phone.
It's a pitiful move, and I've only known Tsukishima for a week, but he's already fitted himself into my daily activity. I consider calling before concluding that he might be in the middle of something, and I do something that I never in my life would have imagined myself doing before.
Hello, Tsukishima? This is Hachimenroppi.
The reply comes a couple minutes after my first text is sent. Roppi-san! I thought you said that you didn't have a phone?
I lied, of course. I don't want to let him know that it was because of him I went out and purchased one of these things.
Haha. What's up?
Hm? He's not even mad? I might have been offended, had I been in his place. I stumble over what to say next. How have you been doing with getting lost?
This reply isn't as fast as the others, and I'm only a little irritated that this makes me smile. I've gotten lost a lot...but everyone has been very kind to me about it.
I told you they would be.
Yeah. I can't wait to get home, though. I don't like being away from everyone. :(
I frown in confusion at the combination of a colon and a parenthesis symbol. What is that supposed to mean? I brush my lack of knowledge off. Don't get too homesick, though. Make sure you get your job done.
I will! I just got out of a meeting, actually. ^^
Again with the strange language that I don't understand. I stare for a moment, and apparently I'm not fast enough, because my new electronic buzzes with another message while I'm still trying to make sense of it.
Roppi-san, if I ask you a strange question, would you laugh at me?
What? Are you going to ask me out already, Tsukishima? My lips quirk into a smirk as I envision his visage erupting into that embarrassed expression.
No! I just wanted to know what your opinion on love was. It seems like you would give me an honest answer.
Love is an area that I don't pride myself in having a lot of knowledge on- and I'm sure if I stated my opinion on it outright I would be attacked by a horde of teenage girls. What do you think of hate?
It's stupid. ^^;
Honest and naive as always. Hate doesn't lie. Love does. Does that make sense? This is cynical of me, but both of them are just hormones. I feel that it was too blunt and harsh of me to say it like that, but Tsukishima was the one who asked, after all.
I see. Thank you for your answer, Roppi-san. :)
I'm coming home in two days and I'll have the day off. Would you like to go out somewhere with me when I get back?
As friends, not anything like that!
The third text pops into my inbox before I can reply with something suggestive. I hesitate over my answer. Agreeing would mean that we had some sort of connection, but I can't find any trick to it, any catches.
Sure. I'll be where I usually am in the morning.
Okay! I'll be there!
A thought leaps into my mind: why am I doing this?
:
Roppi-san, I don't know what to do. ;m; I'm greeted with the text as I get ready for bed.
What's wrong? I inquire, climbing underneath the sheets, the light already out, sighing blissfully while the day's tension leaves my body.
I think this girl is trying to get me to sleep with her and I don't know how to say no without sounding rude...
Is she attractive? Why wouldn't you say yes? I know how humans are. But I find it hard to picture Tsukishima on top of some girl, pleasuring her while being utterly dominant, and so I replace the image with him on his back, being driven into, deportment a mixture of sheer gratification and pain as I-
Luckily his reply is there to stop my thoughts from going any further.
Well, I already like someone.
Interesting. He doesn't seem particularly lovelust-struck to me, at least not for the instances that we talk.
Do they know about it?
No, haha. Oh, but I have to go now. Goodnight, Roppi-san! :)
Goodnight, Tsukishima.
I'm left alone with my less than innocent thoughts- it's a fight to capture sleep.
In the morning, my boxers are sticky with something other than sweat, and I determine that Tsukishima's existence itself is just why I hate humans.
:
There's only a day until the cause of my troubles returns. We don't text the entire time as I get a lot of my work done, but I'm distracted. Why would I have a sex dream about Tsukishima, of all people? I've had them before, since I am, after all, a human male. I hadn't realized that my body had taken such a liking to the blonde's prominent looks, though.
Well, I think to myself, there's no law saying that I have to do anything about it.
So I forget about it.
Almost.
:
"Roppi-san!"
I watch as Tsukishima runs up to me, scarf flapping out behind him. He's way to excited, and he'll probably trip if he's running that fast-
And, there he goes.
"Are you alright?" I ask, helping him up, not being able to help the amused tone my voice has taken on. His glasses have fallen off, making his ruby eyes even more distinct. He stands up and automatically sways on the spot.
"Sorry," he mumbles, looking the definition of guilt. "I don't see too well without my glasses, um...do you see them anywhere?"
I peer behind him and spot them instantly; unfortunately, he must have sat on them, because they're bent beyond repair. After I tell him this, his distress only increases. I know he won't go be able to do much of anything right now, because his eyes can't even focus on my face without the lenses. Was it even possible to have that bad of eyesight without being classified as blind? Hm.
"I'm so sorry, Roppi-san! I guess I won't be able to do much to entertain you today, huh..." He bites his lip.
"It's okay. I'll lead you around." I find myself saying. Wait...what? That was the perfect opportunity to ditch him!
It's too late to take it back. "Really? You will?"
I sigh, resigned. "Yes, I will."
We end up walking around the city, me holding onto his hand firmly so he couldn't wander off to get lost anywhere. I'm sure that it looked odd to other humans, but I was honestly just doing something like a father would do for their child.
It does feel nice, however. I can understand why couples are so desperate to hold hands in public. Tsukishima's palm is warm, but not to the point of sweating, and his fingers curl comfortably around mine. We don't speak at all. I think ironically that it's very human of me to simply enjoy someone's company like this, but he doesn't seem all that bothered by the quiet, either.
Silently, after we have been moving our feet for two hours, there is an agreement to turn back.
The motion of return to the street corner where we met is filled with talking. Tsukishima asks me questions about my life, my likes, my dislikes. I'm not asking anything in return, but his keep coming. The question about my line of work comes up again, but I take that opportunity to point out that this is rather like a date, and that sufficiently distracts the blonde enough to ask something different.
"Have you ever dated someone, Roppi-san?"
"No. 'Dating' is like being 'friends', only there's sex involved."
"I don't think so...when you have someone special, there's a connection there that friends don't have."
Naive as always. I give a noncommittal hum, not wanting to discuss it.
"We're back, by the way." We stand at the street corner, and I'm just about to ask what's wrong when he speaks again. "If...if this is a date, then, can I walk you back to where you live?"
I can't say I'm not stunned at the bold statement. He waits patiently for my answer, standing close enough for his eyes to be able to focus on my reaction. "Alright," I finally agree, and he smiles widely.
His next audacious move comes at the doorstep to my apartment, when the kiss he's probably aimed at my cheek lands on my mouth instead.
I'm not prepared for the warm feeling that spreads through my stomach. After he recognizes what he's just done, Tsukishima jerks away, stammering out pleas for forgiveness. Against my better judgment, I ignore all of them and pull him back for another moment of contact. He inhales sharply, eyelids sliding shut, before he begins to respond.
I've made up my mind; I won't fight this lust any more.
Thankfully he waited until I unlocked my door to drop the bomb on me, and I grope blindly behind myself for the doorknob, twisting it around and pushing the door open. I tug him inside the building after me. He follows without complaint, even shoving the object closed again after we're both inside. A noise of shock rumbles in his throat as I desperately pin him against the door, tilting my head at just the right angle; for such a tall man, Tsukishima is surprisingly weak.
It's much, much too fast, tongues and breath and everything else mingling as clothes fall to the floor until I have him writhing against it, but I can't bring myself to care as his saliva lubricates my fingers and aids my hurried preparations, not wanting to wait any longer. All the blonde can do is gasp, gasp, drop his head on my shoulder as I fuck him, the door shuddering behind us.
Somehow, even after we're done, I manage to carry him to my bedroom for another round.
:
He wakes up first.
I know this because I'm woken up by his arms cuddling me closer, as if we're 'lovers'- and maybe we are, maybe we aren't. I'm not sure if this is a one-time thing. I don't think about that as I curl nearer to his warmth. Even if it is just lust, this doesn't feel too bad.
"I don't think lust applies to cuddling," Tsukishima says honestly.
The only possible conclusion is that I've said something out loud. I think on his words for a moment, attuned to his quiet breathing.
"No," I concede. "I suppose it doesn't."
:
"You're a writer, aren't you?"
I'm right in the middle of eating some much needed breakfast when the blonde comes up behind me, holding my latest manuscript in my hands. It had to have been pretty strenuous for his eyes to skim through it.
"The characters in this story all get a happy ending, and they're all good people."
Grumpy that he's found me out, I mumble into my cereal. "So?"
He pauses. "I'm sorry I read it without asking."
"It's alright," I say. It does bother me that he's seen into my inner fantasy while knowing that it's me (I write under a pen name), but I figure he's already seen enough of me last night.
When he starts to make scrambled eggs on my tiny stove, squinting to see what he's doing, I'm fairly hopeful that this might become a part of my routine, too.
I realize that I'm staring.
:::::
….well.
Well then.
8D'' I don't know where this came from. Longest thing I've ever written guys! Wow, pfff. I blushed writing that sex scene because I am definitely not good at sex scenes. Lawl.
Thanks for reading~. If you spot any mistakes, please let me know. :'o