We weren't like any ordinary brothers.
We spent time together, we wrestled each other, shared a room occasionally and hugged each other.
Nothin wrong with that picture.
There's nothin wrong with brothers being close. But as close as we are? Nobody ever knew.
They all thought it was just a big brother taking care of his baby brother the best way he could. Which he undoubtedly did and did a good job of it.
In the seventh grade, our best friend Shannon had told us that he didn't like girls. That he knew it was wrong and he shouldn't feel that way. He cried and I hugged him telling him "Every thing'll be alright bro." Matt pat his shoulder and told him maybe it was just something that would pass in a month or two. He looked up at me and Matt and smiled wiping the tears from his eyes. "Thanks y'all." He said as he gently punched my shoulder.
But it didn't change. He felt the same way after a year, two years, and now still after eight years. Me and Matt stood by him the whole time, unaware of our feelings for each other.
I thought he was the sun, my life source. The answer to everything. His deep chocolate eyes were always sparkling, aware and keen with a hint of misheif. His eyes always asked questions and sought answers. He could see right through anybody. His hair was always long and curly. He would wear it down in the winter and wore it in a pony tail or braid in the summer and when he was working. I was he the one he always asked to trim it. Growing up I always thought Matt had the strangest nose, the way it sloped so steeply at the bridge and made a sharp point at the tip. And his lips. They looked so smooth and such a soft shade of pink. He licked them often.
He had talents out the ass. He could cook better than any of our friends moms and could make do with anything we had in the fridge. Did I mention he could sew? He could fix just about anything and make just about anything with a needle, thread and a sewing machine. Fixing my bikes were not a problem for him. In less than an hour me and Shan would be on our bikes again, giggling and laughing all the way to the lake to cool off. Matt's biggest talent was wrestling. Boy he can wrestle.
I always looked up to him with admiration. I had always loved him. When I turned eighteen I learned that I loved him. It was then that I decided to tell him so.
I was a nervous wreck. Cold sweats and all. Sweat dampened my then blonde hair and trickled down my face and into the corners of my lips. I could taste the salt of it. I ran my fingers through my hair, watching him as he walked in the cool woods ahead of me. His muscles rippled through his wife beater, his tanned skin shining in the little bit of sunlight left.
"Baby Bro? Shan? You guys coming?" He turned towards us with his thin eye brows cocked, his dark eyes questioning.
I snapped out of my thoughts and smiled, quickly following him.
"Oh yeah ah forgot what ah was doin for a second there. Sorry man." Shannon drawled, his accent always came back when we were home. " Its juss this tree, ah think ah maybe wanna climb it." He said looking up at it and patting it gently. He had a smirk plastered to his face which meant he had some crazy idea to go along with it.
Matt let out a sigh and kept walking. "So whatdoya think he's gonna do up in that tree?"
I smiled. "Prolly pull some prank like he always does. Ah dunno..."
We walked for a long time until we stopped at a clearing in the woods. Our little camp site. Matt and I set our packs down and began setting our things up while Shan ran around picking up try twigs like he always done. He whistled a tune while he did it and Matt glanced at me with a raised eyebrow as if to laugh at Shan. He smiled gently then began setting his tent up. When his was done he set up Shannon's. Just like he always done. When I finished I went to the fire pit and set up our logs around it. Shannon came back with an arm load of twigs and set them in the pit. He dug around his pocket with an angry look on his face. Then it turned to a pout. "Ahhhh shit. Sorry y'all, ah forgot the lighter. Please tell me one of y'all gotta lighter? I ain't gonna sleep unless we got a fire." I smiled and wrapped an arm around his waist.
"Ya know one of us always got one. We know how forgetful you are." I said while pulling a lighter out of my pocket. He smiled at me, his eyes sparkling in the dim light.
"Well you two gonna stand there all night starin at eachother or is one of y'all gonna come help me?" Matt asked obvioulsy irritated.
We turned to eachother and smiled. He knew what I was thinking. We ran towards Matt and formed a clothesline, knocking him flat on his ass. I landed on top of him. My eyes ran from his to the ground. I was nervous so I did the only thing I could think of.
I kissed him.
His eyes opened wide and he wiped his lips. "What was that for?!" He half yelled.
"Well uhm... I love you?" I said smiling, trying to make it seem like a joke.
"Uhh ok Baby Bro, NEVER and I mean never do that again. It was weird..."
"Okay guys lets go do somethin. Ah'm gettin bored sittin around. Hey Lets go for a swimmy? Eh?" Shannon was almost as antsy as I was.
I quickly accepted his offer and raced him to the lake. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into the water. Shan jumped out of a tree into the water and I just flipped into it.
"So...why did ya kiss Matty huh?" He appeared behind me, hair wet and slicked back, his eyes eagerly asking for answers.
"Well I guess its because I really do love him... Ya know what Im tryin to say?"
"Uhm yeah...like incest you mean right?" He asked.
"If you wanna call it that then yeah. I call it love."
"He don't know does he?"
"Well I guess he does now."
All of a sudden we hear a Tarzan like yell. All we see is Matt running towards the lake buck ass naked. He dives into the pool an comes up with a shocked look on his face.
"Ya'll ain't nude in here?! Shit man I feel stupid now." He blushes despite the fact that we have all seen each other naked plenty of times.
"Hahaha you suck man!" Shan giggles and dives under the water. He pulls Matt's leg and he falls into the water. He cant stand that Shark game.
We all play around for a while. Well more like Matt throws us around for about an hour or until me and Shan decided we had enough and it was payback time. We wrestled and jumped off trees and an assortment of other things into the water.
Matt picked me up from behind and kissed the back of my neck. I turned around and kissed his lips. This time he didn't say a word but instead deepened the kiss. Shannon stood to the side with his mouth hanging open. Matt turned to him with a eyebrow cocked.
"What? Ya want some too?"
"Uhh well no... uhm ..." He stuttered.
Matt dropped me and began wading his way to Shan. He pulled Shannon by the hair and kissed him too. I was confused. I didn't make sense. Why would he kiss me and then turn around and kiss Shannon too? This was getting to be too much for me. I was confused.
We grabbed our towels. This time I was careful to wrap my towel around my waist securely. Shan on the other hand wasn't so bright. We started our walk down the fading trail back to our cozy little campsite. Matt was looking up at the sky and whistling some song. Funny how I couldn't remember what song it was. He turned to me and his eyes sparkled. I knew what was coming. He got closer to Shannon and yanked his towel from him and ran the rest of the way back to camp.
"Aww shit man. Ah gotta walk back to camp nakey? That's not fair. C'mere and gimme my towel you fat sonova bitch!!" He ran after Matt leaving me to walk back to camp and think by myself.
I wonder why he did that…Why me and then Shannon. I mean its not possible for him to be gay. Bi maybe but gay? Naw. Maybe he's just sexually frustrated and need to relieve some of it. I mean I'm not complaining cause he kissed me. I liked it….
Anyways I got back to camp and realized there were only two tents. Mine was missing. Matt was sitting by the fire with a grin from ear to ear with a marshmallow over the fire.
"Hey baby bro.."
"Where's my tent man?"
"Ohh that…" He said nonchalantly plucking at his marshmallow, " Some bear took it." He looked up at me and smiled. "Looks like your sleeping with me t'night."
We sat down and roasted marshmallows and talked for a good while. Shannon had long gone to bed. Matt stretched revealing some of his well toned stomach and yawned. I reached for his hand and stand up, motioning to go to the tent. He smiles and takes me up on my offer. Once we get into the tent he begins taking off his clothes. How stupid am I? I forgot he sleeps naked. I mentally slap myself for forgetting that.
"What are ya doing?" He asks. I shake myself out of it. I didn't realize I had been staring at him the whole time. I smile and he shrugs. He lays down and pulls the covers up over and pats beside him. I crawl over to him and rest my head on his bicep. He kisses the top of my head.
"Baby Brother.,I love you so much. " He squeezes me to his body. I reach up to play with his hair.
"I love you big Brother."
He arches and eyebrow. "Ya sure? I mean you really feel like that?
"Yeah…yeah I do. For the longest time now." I smile and bury my nose in his chest. His soft skin feels so good. His scent is so soothing.
"So whadoya think Daddy's gonna say?"
"Quite frankly Matty, I really could give a rats ass about what he thinks. Normally I would care but when it comes to you…naw."
"So youre saying you do wanna be with me then right Jeffro?"
"No I'm saying I cant stand you and I want you to die."
"Hey, That wasn't nice and you better be just kidding." He smiles.
"Duh of course I was kidding you dork." I hug him and take in a deep whiff of him.
He cuddles me closer to him and we fall asleep, together at last.
Shannon says: How corny was that? I was hardly in it