Disclaimer: I in no way own Red vs Blue, unless my unfaltering love and devotion counts for anything.
"Speaking"
'Thoughts'
Authors Notes
The redhead sighed and leaned her head against the rocky surface of the mouth of the cave. Only a few feet away rain fell down in heavy sheets, pouring from the monochrome sky dyed in brooding greys and blanketing the surrounding land in a drank screen. The soft pitter patter of delicate raindrops was oddly calming alongside the air that was laced with the musty scent of fresh mud.
Her bright red hair pulled into a long ponytail and sky blue tanktop contrasted against the dull backdrop in a way that a certain one eyed someone might have once called beautiful, shortly after delivering a cheesy pickup line and shortly before receiving a punch to the gut in return.
Her wandering thoughts were cut short as a heavy set of foot steps approached from behind. The slight echoing sound of bare feet against stone causing her to drift back into reality which she was grateful for, she didn't want to get caught off guard by the pack of idiots she was supposedly guarding.
"Armors off, huh?" Washington's voice rang out before he had even reached her.
"Well what do you expect? It was soaked," She responded dully.
"I just never thought you'd take it off, some of the other guys thought it was just a part of your skin," He said with a chuckle.
She sighed in response, she really didn't feel like putting up with their usual back and forth banter right now and just wanted to listen to the rain fall for a little while longer. Washington, as if sensing her plea for some peace and quiet leaned against the opposite wall of the wide cave mouth and just stared silently out into the rain soaked expanse beyond.
His usual light blue flecked yellow armor was off as well, set beside a low burning fire deeper in the cave. She found her eyes drifting over his his broad chest and wide shoulders, hidden beneath a similar dull blue t-shirt with yellow trim, his muscular form proof of years of service in the army. He had such light brown hair that it seemed blonde if seen in the right light, and went well with his dark brown eyes.
After a short time, Wash broke the silence by saying, "You'd better come inside, if you stay out here you're gonna catch a cold."
"I'll be fine, but thanks anyways," The responded curtly without tearing her eyes from the horizon.
"Come on Carolina, the fire is nice and warm," He coaxed the ex-freelancer, "And I think the guys might finally shut up if you're there looming over them."
"I said I'm fine," She said with an edge to her tone.
He looked at her for a moment before sighing, "What's wrong, it's not like you to get so worked up over nothing."
She spared him a glance out of the corner of her eye and saw he was standing in that lopsided manner he did when he was talking casually, but his face was serious, searching her eyes for an unspoken response that she was unwilling to share verbally.
She stood stone still for a moment, as did Washington, before giving in and saying at length, "We are… The only ones left. Arent we?"
He tilted his head to the side and asked, "What do you mean?"
"The two of us… Well, the director too… Were the only ones left from Project Freelancer," She said slowly as she herself mulled over the haunting thought.
Saying it out loud sent a hollow echo through her mind, resounding in the empty cavern in her chest, making her whole body shake slightly and her stomach felt like it was about to cave in on itself. She steeled her nerves and buried the sensation under layers and layers of calm composure, not letting any of her emotion show.
"Well there's also Epsilon, but yeah, I guess we are the last of the Freelancers." He said with a soft voice and a low tone.
Hearing him confirm it just made the unwelcome emotions grow till her legs began to feel like jelly and she no longer trusted her voice. Thoughts swirled in her mind; Wyoming… Florida… North and South… Maine… CT… York-
'Oh god, York…' She thought sadly, her stomach began to twist into knots and she felt sick.
"Carolina, are you ok?" She looked up to see Wash staring at her unmoving, his brow wrinkled with worry lines at seeing her face go pale.
"…" She opened her mouth and tried to speak but all that came out was a small squeak which she instantly regretted.
Washington's eyes shone with a concern she hadn't witnessed in so long and now found herself detesting. She took a step forward, attempting to walk back down into the cave as if that would prove to him she was fine and she didn't need his help but after the first few steps her legs gave out beneath her sending her falling forwards only to be caught by a strong arm.
"Woah! Take it easy Carolina!" His soothing voice said layered with intense concern, "Are you hurt?"
She beat herself mentally for falling to such weakness and tried to stand, only to have her legs collapse beneath her again, falling heavily into him. She tried desperately to shove the unwelcome thoughts back behind a closed door in her mind and regain her composure but every time she tried to lock them away York's smiling face floated to the surface of her mind with his chocolate brown hair and one milky white eye, the other a matching coca color. Then his body, coated in blood with a hole in his chest…
'No.' She stuffed the image away again and focused on the present but a part of her mind stayed right where it was and she felt tears begin to form in the corners of her eyes.
"…Carolina?" She heard Wash's voice, but it seemed to be coming to her though a long tunnel, the path paved with painful memories and the walls lined with tears and blood, of everyone she had let down and failed again and again.
"No," She repeated in a whisper, unaware that she was speaking aloud.
Wash's eyes softened and he pulled her into a compassionate hug when he felt the red haired woman shaking slightly in his arms. She gripped his blue shirt and grasped the fabric tightly in her hands as if it were her only lifeline and salty tears began to streak down her cheeks and she opened her mouth in a silent scream as she choked out inaudible sobs that echoed around in the cave soundlessly. She gasped for air in between unvoiced cries as her tears soaked into the man's shirt. She clutched the bunched up fabric tighter and Wash delicately ran his fingers through her ponytail comfortingly as she continued her release of years of pent up emotion.
"York," She mouthed his name as she breathed out.
"Shhhhh, Carolina. It's okay, you're okay," He said softly.
The memory of their first meeting flashed into the forefront of her mind like a movie projector;
Club Errera, the building ablaze with neon red and orange lights and music pouring out from the door and spilling onto the street. Red hair pulled back into it's usual ponytail and dressed in a white spaghetti strap top with a bright blue skirt she was ready to hit the club, have a few drinks, and sneak home before her father noticed she was gone. She knew of all people that Leonard could be downright cruel when it came to punishments and she did not want to have to face his wrath yet again.
The heels of her knee high leather boots clicked against the ground as she walked right in. No line, no bouncer, that's what made this club her favorite. The whole place seemed to be moving and shaking to the beat of the song, swaying along with the group of dancing people on the brightly lit dance floor. She smiled and walked past the over crowded mass and made her way to the bar, her eye catching on the colorful array of bottles lining the back and obscuring the long mirror.
She was about to take a seat on an empty bar stool when she saw something out of the corner of her eye, a man sitting at the very end of the bar all alone with short brown hair and two coca eyes to match. He seemed to be attempting to drown himself in whisky, flicking a grey lighter with a red cap on and off, on and off, on and off.
She walked over to him and reached out with one leather gloved hand, grabbing the lighter right out of his hand, causing him to look up at her with a half drunken look on his face. She spun the lighter around in her hand and flicked it on and off, on and off, on and off.
"Buy me a drink?" She asked taking a seat besides him.
He gave her an odd look but complied and ordered a bloody marry from a passing bartender.
"So what are you doing here all by yourself?" She asked, striking up a conversation with the stranger.
"My buddies just left me here," He said truthfully and leaned against the counter lazily, he let out a light hearted chuckle before continuing, "It was supposed to be a party to celebrate my joining the army but they ditched me."
"Awww, well that sucks," She replied in a rare moment of sympathy and studied the lighter in her hand, it was marked with the same symbol of the club in black ink.
"I'm Foxtrot 12," He said holding out his hand.
"Foxtrot?" She said raising an eyebrow.
"It's my code name, though I figured it was appropriate," He responded with a smile and a shrug.
"I'm Carolina," She said, pressing the lighter into his open palm.
"Carolina?" He said in a light hearted voice, "Like the state?"
"Yep, and it is my real before you ask," She said as the waiter dropped off her blood red beverage with a celery stick poking from the top and salt rimming the glass.
Carolina took a sip of her new drink and he took the chance to gulp down the rest of his honey colored alcohol.
"So what brings a pretty lady like you to this place, all alone might I add," He asked, focusing on a new topic of conversation.
"I'm not in a any danger, if that's what you're implying," She responded sharply, shooting him a glare.
"Not at all, I have no doubt you are more than capable of defending yourself," He said quickly, "What I meant is, don't you have a boyfriend?"
She nearly spit out her drink at the unexpected question but recovered quickly by saying, "Ha! You've got a long way to go before trying to ask me out."
"Alright, then at least help me out with some pick up lines," He asked innocently.
She raised an eyebrow but didn't object, instead taking another sip of her drink.
Then he cleared his throat before rattling off a list of the cheesiest pickup lines she'd ever heard, "Do you have a band aid? 'Cause I scraped my knee falling for you. I lost my phone number, can I have yours? Do you have a map? Cause I'm getting lost in your eyes. You owe me a drink, 'cause when I saw you I dropped mine. When I saw you I ran into a wall, I'm gonna need your name and number for insurance."
At the end of the bar, in the corner of the club, they sat together long past her curfew and into the night, telling bad pickup lines and sharing laughs over old stories. It was one of the happiest nights of her life and looking back on it, the only time she had ever truly let herself relax since she was a small child.
And with that the movie in her mind ended, the screen fading to black and the curtains closing over a dark screen. Carolina had stopped crying a while ago and now was just leaning against Wash. The rain outside had slowed to a slight drizzle that would clear up in a few minutes so they could continue on their journey towards Epsilon in hopes of finding the Director.
Wash rubbed her back in a soothing way and stared off into the sky, grey clouds disappearing to reveal the bright blue sky beneath.
"Feel any better?" Wash asked her in a soothing tone.
"Yes… Thank you," She said slowly, regaining her ability to speak coherently and looking up at him from her position curled in his lap, having no idea how she ended up like this.
"Thank me? For what?"
He looked down at his once leader and met her emerald green eyes. They almost hurt to look at, the eyes of the director. The same eyes that bore into your soul to find your weaknesses and forced you to obey, but he had begun to notice hers shone with a different light, where as he fathers were sharp and cruel, hers were kinder and almost… lonely. The subtle difference was difficult to notice, but focusing on it was the only way he was able to look her in the eye.
"Thank you," She looked away from him and tried once again -succesfully this time- to stand on her own, "For not dying."
He sat shocked for a moment at her comment before breaking out into a low laugh, "No problem, I promise you I won't die if I can help it."
She smiled subtly and brushed herself off, "But wouldn't it be a shame if the others some how found out I was crying, then maybe your body would be coincidentally found in a nearby ditch, it really would be a shame, wouldn't it?"
"Woah! No need to go to extremes, I'm not one to gossip," He said and grabbed hold of a hand Carolina extended to help him up, "Your secret it safe with me."
She treaded back down the tunnel leading deeper into the cave where the reds and blues were camped out, probably tearing each other to shreds over made up insults, as she descended she called over her shoulder, "Thanks, Wash."
"Yeah, you too," He mumbled with a smile as he took up her position at the mouth of the cave, 'guarding' the rocky enclosure with a sigh, "Crazy Freelancers…"
This is set sometime in season nine when Carolina rounds up the red and blue teams -plus Wash- to track down Epsilon off screen and we don't get to see any of their epic adventures.
I was reading some Freelancer fics and I realized, "Holy shit… Wash and Carolina really are the only ones left." And then I curled up in the corner and cried my eyes out for a bit before getting the idea to write this! I hope you like it!
I was listening to Number One by xXxRainyGirlxXx when I wrote this! If you haven't heard the song I really suggest you go listen to it on YouTube! It is so sad and filled with Yorkalina feels! DX
If you liked the story please favorite! All reviews are welcome!