Sane people finish things before they start something else. This isn't Prince and the Polar Bear, it has on of the same main characters though! Gakuen AU is awesome sauce.

Normal people put disclaimers in their stories, I point out that this site is for FANFICTION.

"NEIN!"

It was his final answer, and nothing was going to change his mind.

Meet the Bad Touch Trio, amateur band in need of a new vocalist. The band consisted of their self proclaimed leader Gilbert who was on base guitar, Antonio on guitar, and Francis on drums. Gilbert was a good vocalist, but his voice was much more suited for a band following in Rammestein's jizz trail, and the trio just wasn't epic enough to sodomize their keyboardist on stage and jizz all over their fans. Antonio could deliver, but he didn't want to, and Francis would enjoys the drums far to much, for he is a master of banging things.

"Gilbert! You want us to be big! It's not a replacement! It's an addition!" Francis tries to reason with the albino.

"Dude, if there's four of us, it's not a trio!" Gilbert says

"Then we change the name mi amigo." Antonio tells the other

"To what, Bad Touch Quartette? I think not." Gilbert says

"I was thinking Bad Friends. It sounds pretty bad ass" Francis says, Antonio agreeing.

"But we wont be the fag trio if we get someone else!" Gilbert says

"But look on the upside… we wont be the fag trio anymore." Antonio smiles

"Gilbert, why don't you want a new member?" Francis asks

"…" Gilbert didn't reply. In truth, it was because these two were his only friends, unless you counted Beta and the Posh Queen, but they sucked in Gilbert's opinion. Sure, he had his brother, but he was still mad at him for stealing Feliciano away from him. Francis and Antonio were his best friends, and he didn't want anything to change, but he'd never admit it.

"Fine. Get a new member, see if I care, no one's going to match my awesome musical prowess." Gilbert says, deciding to play happy. His friends could tell he was still mad.

…

"Okay, why are we lurking around the music hallway?" Gilbert asks as Francis looked around.

"I have a friend who really enjoys music, I figure we might want to let him audition~ I just need to figure out where that fairy seeing brat is" Francis says, happy yet cringing at the thought of asking his friend to join them.

"I don't want HIM in the band!… I'm still mad at him for bombarding me and stealing my booty." Antonio says. Gilbert chose to ignore his two friends, and continued his disgruntled way down the hall.

"Ni Wa Wa, Ni Wa Wa, Yi ge ni wa wa~" Gilbert heard someone singing what sounded like a cute children's song near by. Gil followed the sound of the mystery person's voice as he, [at least Gilbert thought it was a he], continued to sing.

Gilbert approached a classroom he knew very well. It was the classroom belonging to his mentor Fredrick, Fritz for short.

"Isn't that Chinese?" Gilbert heard a voice that definitely belonged to Fritz. There was a small giggle.

"Hai, but Yao-San has been singing it all week, and it's been stuck inside my head… Is it illegal to beat songs out of a students head?" The unknown person speaking to Fritz, asks Fritz.

"Well Kiku, if you don't mind me saying, you have a lovely singing voice. You should join the non glee inspired glee club, we'd love to have you there." Fritz tell Kiku

'If that IS your real name' Gilbert thinks to himself as he listens in on their conversation. Gilbert considers going into the room but he hears a phone ring.

"Excuse me" Fritz tells Kiku as he answers the phone, "Allo? Uh huh. Okay, I'll be right down." Fritz hangs up, "That was my wife, she's here with the divorce papers and the lawyer man… It could take a while, just make yourself comfortable."

"Okay. Thank you… uh… I've never had to send off anyone who was going to get a divorce before so… good luck?" Kiku says a bit awkwardly.

"That's better than have fun" Fritz says, "okay, I'll be back, I don't want any dead bodies in here when I get back." Fritz exits, Gilbert steps aside to avoid collision.

"Hey Fritz, good luck with that reverse marriage thing." Gilbert says, not even trying to deny the fact he was eavesdropping.

"Thanks." Fritz smiles at the boy before walking away. Gilbert waved as he left. He peered into the classroom and saw who he assumed was Kiku, for he was the only other person in the classroom. Kiku was shuffling through his iPod, setting it down to listen to the music. Gilbert had recognized the song as he had recently become infatuated with voice synthesizing androids. The particular song playing was "Eh? Ah, Sou" by Hatsune Miku. He heard Kiku mumbling along with the lyrics. Kiku started to actually sing along as he felt more comfortable.

"I do not hate it, want it I bear it, I'm lying, it's bittersweet and it's making me nervous! Really, I don't know how to take it, If I'm a whore then you'll tell me the truth. Say I'm stupid, foolish dim-witted, brainless. Slow dim, I face it I break it, I'm useless. I make it by in life, by trusting the ones who tell me I'm worth the fight!" Kiku sang. Gilbert found himself inside the class room, captivated by this raven haired beauty singing with the voice of an angel.

"Ah, fell from the skies above, could it be this love, Purple to petal flight, like little raindrops . Spinning, and dancing, you feeling dizzy? Maybe we'll take a break, and run away?" Gilbert was enchanted. The only other time he had ever felt this was the day Fredrick taught him how to master the art of the flute, but the feelings then didn't compare to now.

"Now show me baby, now don't you be scared, Little touch, little kiss, feel a shiver down your spine, Now, yes let's fuck, till the morning is nigh, I'll fascinate, you'll create, till we're both still flying high," Now Gilbert smirked. Sure it was part of the song, but he wanted to take the Asian boy up on the offer. Gilbert hatched up the perfect plan. He knew the lyrics, not that he was obsessed with the singing androids or anything. He approached Kiku from behind.

"This feeling sweet or nice-" "We'll make it once or twice"

Kiku froze. He was in shock, having been caught singing such a perverted song. Kiku refused to look at the man watching and listening to him.. Gilbert walked right up to Kiku's back, smirking.

"So after all the pitying noises cry, we'll be alone to feel, we'll know it's all unreal. So do you agree?" Gilbert wrapped his arms around the boy in shock, whispering the last line seductively, "So do you believe?"

Kiku was having trouble registering what was going on. On one hand, there was a strange man grabbing you from behind. On the other hand, this person knew of Hatsune Miku. There was a definite conflict going on in Kiku's mind.

Kiku squirmed against Gilbert trying to escape. Gilbert released his hold on Kiku, not wanting to scare the boy to much. Kiku turned around to get a good look at his attacker. Tall, thin, messy platinum hair and piercing red eyes. If not for the cocky grin he would have reminded Kiku of one of those sexy stoic men from his animes.

As Kiku stared him down, Gilbert took the opportunity to do the same. Short, adorable, neat black hair, adorable, ineffective glare, did he mention adorable? Gilbert grinned and stuck out his hand.

"Name's Gilbert" He says, still trying to sound seductive, but was fighting back the urge to hug the other and say how adorable he was.

Now that he thought about it, he'd seen that scenario before, only with Professor Wang in his place. Gilbert froze. He had just borderline molested the younger brother of the most overprotective and clingy teacher at the school. If he could take anything back, it would be the last several minutes he had spent trying to get into Kiku's pants. Gilbert was screwed if this got back to Yao, and considering the situation, chances of him surviving were slim.

I imagine that in AU land, Gilbert is always blessed with the greatest mentor that one could be blessed with. In fact, in every random thing I think up, if Fritz is in it, he's Gilbert's mentor. I also think Fritz and Kiku would get along pretty well. Kiku's like, Fritz's Teaching Assistant so they're probably cleaning the classroom or grading things.

Also, in my mind, Yao's the lord of the brother complex. Golbez, stand aside.

The Lonely Union is my favorite pair, the whole opposites attract thing is what makes it better than my last [and by last, I mean the one before I started shipping him with the world] Kiku OTP. Yeah, Giripan's cute, but... it's kind of boring, and I think that Greece's constant fighting with Turkey, who is on fact one of Kiku's good friends, would be a turn off... okay, why am I ranting about that here? Just... ignore that I guess...

Don't mess with an otaku's idol, they'll kick your ass.