So after a year + of procrastination I'm finally back to posting Inuyasha fanfiction. Originally, I wanted to wait until I had more up since this story is the new edited version of A Miko's Sacrifice, The Hanyou's Love, but I have changed things enough (not to mention it's been ages since I've last updated) that it won't be repeating. Enjoy!
Choices
Prologue
I never claimed to be a very smart hanyou. For the longest time I lived by the survival instincts. I never trusted anyone. After Ofukuro died, there was no one who cared, no one who wanted anything to do with a miserable half-breed. Having never been taught how to hunt, it was something that I had to teach myself. All my life I had learned never to depend on anybody. People betrayed you.
Ofukuro's maid had promised that she would care for me while my mother lay on my death bed. Her body had barely started to turn cold before the maid tried to sell me to a slave trader. Neither of them had been prepared for my fangs and claws. I'm not too ashamed of the mess that I left the maid's face in. She had broken her promise to my mother.
It was probably because of this that trust never came easily to me. When chance and the rumor of a jewel brought Kikyou into my life I was too foolish to see what it was. Sometimes I wondered just exactly how it was that our trust was so easily destroyed by a shape-shifting bastard. It makes me wonder what it was that happened in her life that made her trust so fragile. Sometimes I wondered if it was because of who I was. For all of the humanity that she saw in me, my blood was still tainted with youki. Youkai were her enemy. How could she fully trust someone like me; even though I refused to let any harm come to her.
This question plagued my dreams through my imprisonment. It let me be for a while I tried to comprehend the puzzle that was Kagome. Through her stupidity she had managed to shatter the jewel that I had sought for so long. I was more then furious at her inability to do anything correctly, completely forgetting how odd my world seemed to her. I had been so desperate for the jewel—as a pure youkai I would have been able to forget everything that happened, to forget Kikyou's betrayal.
I was such a foolish pup. I was completely unaware of the precious treasure I had stumbled upon. There was something about her, about the way she was able to forget the way I said hurtful things without thinking. She was always there at the moments when I needed her the most. I was even able to find comfort in her when Kikyou came back to me. The old wounds didn't bleed quite so much because she was there. I took advantage of that and let her suffer.
I never meant for her to suffer; I never meant for her to love me. I don't know how it all happened, and would have done everything I could to prevent it, but by the time realized that it was too late. Kagome was content with friendship, and I took it; I needed it.
Maybe it was this selfishness that lead to her destruction. When we finally defeated and the shards joined together to form the perfected jewel she gave it to me. After the indecisions that had plagued me during our travels on what I would do with the jewel if Kagome gave it to me, I finally knew what I wanted.
Or at least what I thought I wanted.
I used it to give Kikyou back her life, her humanity. That curséd jewel gave us another chance at life.
We had been so worried as to whether or not it would work that neither of us—at the very least me—took into consideration what it was that I would lose in the process.
That night, when Kikyou regained her humanity, is a night that still plagues my nightmares. Even betrayal didn't hurt this much.
What I wouldn't do to have her back.