Disclaimer: Don't own.
constant →
You're a constant in life's stream of variables
As sure as the sun and the moon
You're a certain in this world of change-ables
You are you and that's the only thing I know that's true.
- I'm Not Afraid © Fleming & John
It is on a rainy day that she realizes something that's never really crossed her mind before, because it's just so… natural.
Her fore-head protector is sliding down slightly, but it's not enough to impair her vision just yet, so she leaves it. Besides, there are many other things to consider at the moment. Things like getting new strawberry-scented shampoo at the store near her house because all that's left at home is raspberry that she bought by mistake and that's just yuck. Then there are those never-ending medical reports that Shishou's piled onto her once again – of course she's happy about getting more work, but hands-on stuff is always so much more fun.
Oh, and there's that small problem that Kakashi-sensei is currently kicking her ass (both literally and figuratively) in their sparring session. These sort of exchanges between the ex-student and her ex-teacher are rather rare, considering he's always reading that Icha Icha series of his or training on his own. When they do spend time with each other (surprisingly often, but then again she never partakes in activities other than work), it's usually just arguing over a cup of coffee or a bowl of ramen; well, it's more of her arguing and him throwing her off with few but strangely insightful comments.
Damn him and his stupid sharingan. She's still smarting over certain individuals with that coveted ability – yeah, she'll probably never get over it. It's not so much the fact that Sasuke (she doesn't even think of him with a kun attached at the back anymore because she likes to think that she's moved on) left her for a different path – well, not anymore – but more because she's getting really sick of trying to drag his sanity back. Naruto's still going strong with that foolhardy determination of his, but frankly she's tiring. Maybe, just maybe, Sasuke's happy with his choice.
She dodges her teacher's shuriken by a mere millimeter and quickly jumps away to create some distance between them. That was close. Torrents of rain beating down upon them are making the ground slippery, but she doesn't lose her footing. What she does do, is to lose Kakashi – the rain isn't making it any easier to sense him. Numb fingers reach up to touch her bangs – damn, it's sliced off more hair than she expected it would. Well, it's not as if there's anyone to impress.
The rain continues to fall as she makes squishy sounds in the mud, and looks around for Kakashi-sensei, but he's nowhere to be seen, as usual. She doesn't mind – it gives her time to ponder about her previous notion. Nah, there's really no way she'll ever give up on bringing the grumpy Uchiha back. Their team will never be complete without him, no matter who's assigned to take his place. Sai's a nice boy (right, who is she kidding?), but he doesn't quite fit the gaping hole that's found its way into Naruto, herself, even Kakashi-sensei.
"You're not concentrating very well today," remarks her teacher, a mere whisper in her ear as he appears behind her and holds a kunai to her neck. On sunnier days, she'll probably release herself from his hold with a kick and a back-flip due to her competitive nature, but today she's not really in the mood for training. Letting out a sigh, she finds herself leaning back into Kakashi slightly – a sign that she's conceded defeat.
He lets her go on cue. There aren't any injuries to heal, because she's still too inexperienced to place more than a few shallow scratches on the copy-nin, and he doesn't try his hardest with her. Not that it bothers her much – well, not anymore anyway. In fact, she likes the way he hasn't really changed his attitude towards her over the years.
"Ramen?" she asks suddenly as she's wringing her clothes out. Kakashi raises an eyebrow at her expectantly. Oh, of course. "I'll pay," she says a little begrudgingly, but they both know she isn't really irritated with him. His uncovered eye crinkles in response, and she can't help but laugh as she walks towards the restaurant, which is probably going to be filled with wet and sticky people. Like them, for instance.
It's quite disheartening to find that Kakashi-sensei looks absolutely dry and clean by the time they're seated, and she's still dripping like a drowned rat. A drowned pink rat, to make things worse. They order their usual and settle down into a comfortable silence. Eating together is not an issue anymore, because she's seen his face before, merely by accident. Nowadays, he just pulls down his mask like he's been doing it all his life with his team. Hah, Naruto and Sasuke will be so jealous if she ever tells them. Their teacher's face is very different from what they'd expected, and possibly more attractive than most. It's enough to make the waitresses swoon, anyhow.
The food is taking a long time to come because of the crowd. She's not in a hurry though, because today is a Thinking Day. And you're supposed to go slow on Thinking Day – everyone knows that. Of course, it isn't long before Kakashi takes out his favorite little orange book and seemingly engrosses himself in the graphic scenes written by Jiraiya. She might've gotten angry if the person sitting across her wasn't her ex-teacher because it's just rude to read during a meal. But she knows he's always listening, no matter what he's doing. It's just a habit most skilled ninja have acquired along the years. So she's rest assured that her sensei will respond when she speaks.
But Thinking Days don't require much talking. She props her elbows on the table and rests her head on her hands, eyes focusing on her table-mate.
Then it strikes her suddenly, even though it's not actually a revelation because it's been buried in her mind all this time. Kakashi-sensei, with his messy white hair that never grows because he shears the long ones away with a kunai, and the way he never takes off his mask unless it's absolutely necessary, and his disgusting porn collection, and his rough fingertips as they pat her lightly on her head, and his musky sandalwood scent, and his tendency to be late all the time – he hasn't changed at all. As their teacher, he was always pushing the boys beyond their limits, but gave her a bit of leeway most of the time. She suspects it's because he doesn't understand little pink-haired girls who're infatuated with a particular team-mate. Even Inner Sakura hangs her head in shame – she had been quite a brat in the past. Yet, he saved intellectual debate for the only female member of the team, and helped her out whenever she requested for it. Still helps her out whenever she's angry or whiney or sad or just wants someone to talk to.
But yes. It's in his unchanging attitude towards her that she finds solace. He is never too kind, because she needs to be toughened up, and never too harsh, because she isn't as stupidly hard-headed as the two boys in the team.
Kakashi-sensei is the constant in her life, the force that keeps her going because she knows this one isn't going to change drastically and just disappear from her life with the snap of her fingers. Naruto is too volatile, and Sasuke too detached. Ino is a good friend, but she's manipulative (in matters such as matchmaking and guess who the lucky victim is?) and her likes and dislikes vary too often. It's because of Kakashi that she's managed to maintain her sanity for so long, she thinks. The constant in her equation, even if his habits do get onto her nerves at times. Letting her hands drop down to her side, she looks her teacher in the eye (… quite literally). He takes his eyes off his book and returns her gaze.
"Don't ever change, sensei," she declares, giving a determined shake of her head to emphasize her point. He looks taken aback for a second, then smiles that familiar, unchanging smile of his. Sakura doesn't know, but she's somewhat of a constant in his life too. Sure, she's gotten stronger and less of a crybaby, but the core is still there. She's still Haruno Sakura, with her sharp tongue and her outbursts, and her strong will to be a good kunoichi.
He reckons, that's how they balance each other out.
Author's Notes: First Naruto fic. I hope it worked out okay. Reviews much appreciated.