Title: Hatefully
Genre: D. Gray-man, Kanda x Allen
Rating: PG-13, twisted
Summary: Kanda hates a lot of things. He hates Allen Walker most of all.
Disclaimer: D. Gray-man and its characters belong to Hoshino Katsura.
Kanda hates a lot of things. To be completely honest, the list of things he hates is almost infinite; too many even for him to list off-hand. In fact, it will probably be easier for him to list the things he likes, which is unsurprisingly, few and far. However, there are some things he hates that he cannot ever forget; large things, major things, and that is in itself, a feat, considering the number of things he hates with a passion.
Without having to think, he can list them easily, the hatred flowing through him like an angry raging river, or perhaps, it will be more accurate to liken it to molten lava. He hates sweet things; sweets, chocolate, desserts, even sweet foods. He hates them all. He hates the demons. He hates the person who gave him that damned curse. He hates festivals. He hates noise and commotions. He hates the many versions of Komurin Komui is wont to make. But most of all, he hates Allen Walker.
In fact, it seems fated that he'd hate him. After all, they clash like unlike magnetic poles, like ice to fire, like light to dark. There are so many contrasting ways he can link the hatred to.
He hates the fact that Walker is small and short and so very young – too young to be fighting as an exorcist. It almost seems like Walker is mocking him. He hates his bright green eyes and silk white hair that smells faintly of jasmine. He hates his parasitic anti-demon weapon – too attached to his body, with so many weaknesses he can easily point out closed eyed. He hates the way Walker eats; messy and dirty and so uncivilized. He hates the fact that Walker disagrees with him on every turn, never forgoing a chance to pick a fight.
He hates the fact that Walker is weak, with that gentle tenderness that he treats everyone else with. He hates the fact that Walker is too emotionally attached, too involved in the people around him, so much so that he will sacrifice himself for anyone of them. He hates that damned martyr complex, the fact that Walker throws himself into the frontline, into the centre of the war, uncaring of whether he will survive the aftermath.
He hates the fact that Walker hovers around Rinali, treating her like precious glass that might shatter at the slightest damage. That disgusting tenderness he projects whenever he reassures her they will all be fine, the annoying way he will thumb away her tears and smile that stupid gentle smile as she throws herself at him. He hates the way Walker will then stand; determined and tall in spite of his height and bear the weight of the world on his shoulders so as to fulfill his promise to Rinali, to make her dreams reality.
He hates it most when he sees Walker step away from Rinali's line of sight, suddenly looking fatigued and tired in the long shadows of the hallways, shoulders slumped and silk hair coarse and limp. And then, Walker will catch sight of him and his shoulders will square up; he'll stand taller, straighter, as if running on adrenaline, ready to start a fight with him again. Kanda will scoff, wanting nothing more than to laugh that short bean sprout away because he knows, he knows that it is all a façade, empty air, because Allen Walker is always too tired, trying to save the rest of the world, and there is nothing left in him to start a pointless fight with Kanda, but that he will start it anyway because his pride cannot take it otherwise.
He hates it and he hates Allen Walker and he will not ever think of letting him off lightly if Walker wishes to start a meaningless verbal fight with him anyway even when he is fatigued and Kanda knows all he wants is to rest and fall away into sleep.
But even his hatred has its limits. There comes a time when he hates Allen Walker too much, that he simply cannot bear watching that stupid idiot try to save the rest of the world by himself because he has too much pride, too big an ego to let the other exorcists do their job. Because hell! Walker isn't the only one that has the power to save the world from the curse of the Millennium Earl.
So when he sees Walker exit Rinali's room, tired and fatigued as usual, he marches up to him and drives him against the wall with a hand fisted in Walker's collar. Walker is too tired to notice, and when he does, he is already pinned against the stone concrete. He is weak from fatigue, and it doesn't take Kanda much to hold him down even when he struggles.
Kanda snarls, leaning into his face, their lips close enough to touch, Walker's breath warm and sweet against his skin. "I hate you," Kanda says, and he lists the reasons why. Walker slumps in his hold, features slack with surprise and disbelief as he listens to Kanda's infinite raging hatred. Kanda tells him exactly why he hates him, his words rough and cutting and venomous. The temperature around them spikes as Kanda feeds his hatred with anger.
"Why are you telling me this?" Walker finally asks in disbelief, small calloused hands pushing against Kanda's broad chest, futilely trying to get some personal space but Kanda doesn't care. What cannot hurt him can certainly be ignored, he thinks, and Walker has too much of a complex to ever think of using his innocence on him.
"Why?" Kanda repeats, leaning menacingly closer, his anger soothing as he watches Walker's eyes widen with uncertainty and smelling slightly of fear. "Because I hate you of course," Kanda replies and brutally kisses him.
His teeth bite down viciously on Walker's stunned soft lips, virgin lips Kanda thinks, because the idiot certainly hasn't kissed anyone before, and Kanda smiles vindictively against the pliant parted lips because he knows he has claimed Walker's precious first kiss. Walker doesn't fight it, allowing Kanda's brutal tongue and teeth to plunder painfully what is not his.
When Kanda's anger has been fed, he tears away from Walker's disgustingly warm body and bloodstained lips, breathing heavily as though he has just fought an army of demons. Walker stands there, stunned and heaving slightly, staring up at Kanda's angry face with the large innocent eyes Kanda hates. Unconsciously, Kanda tells him just that, and Walker's eyes widen in hurt and confusion and Kanda has moments to wonder why exactly that idiot will feel hurt, especially since Walker knows exactly how much Kanda hates him.
A dark smirk blossoms on Walker's bloodstained lips and the next thing he knows, Walker manages to push him off, kicking against the wall to get that extra spring before he jumps on him, tackling him to the ground. Kanda takes the brunt of the fall, neck rising reflexively to protect his skull against the cold stone concrete.
"I hate you too," Walker rasps out hoarsely from above him, leaning down so closely his hateful white silk hair brushes the side of Kanda's face. Kanda laughs, a dark twisted sound because he thinks the world has a cruel sense of humor and then his thoughts are interrupted by the press of soft lips against his and the flat metallic taste of blood in his mouth.
Because, hate is another form of love after all.
Nitric Acid 2007