Struggle of a gay man in a straight world. I have two secrets, I am in love with my straight best friend and I am the Manonator, fighting crime and seducing men wherever I go. Troy and I hang out almost every day which is great but most of our conversations are spent talking about his wife, oh, I didn't mention yes I am in love with my straight married best friend. He knows I'm gay he supports me, if that's what you're thinking, I just haven't told him I love him and I don't really intend to that would just cause it too be awkward. I haven't really had problems getting men I'm the Manonator for crying out loud but my problem is keeping them. They either hate my flirting with other men or they find out I'm in love with Troy then dump me. I don't care though all I care about is that I'm friends with Troy.

One day everything changed I was at work and got a call from Troy telling me he had left his wife and he asked if he could see me. I said I was working but that I could meet him later that night. The rest of the day all I thought about was why Troy had left Gabby. When I got out of work hours later I met Troy at a club. We sat down and ordered drinks. After I took a sip of my drink I asked,

"Why did you leave her?" he laughed before he sighed and looking into my eyes and replied,

"I realized I was in love with someone else." I felt my heart drop. 'What girl is it this time?' I thought.

"Who is she?" I asked not letting my pain show. Smiling he and not looking away from me he replied,

"I've known this person a long time we hang out almost every day and it's not a she." I felt confused as my heart dropped even more.

"Who is he then?" I asked looking through blurry eyes.

"Ryan, it's you." He grabbed my hand. I felt a calm come over me as I realized what he said.

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"Yes." He leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"Does Gabby know why you left her?" I asked when we had broken apart.

"Yes, we had a long talk and I explained how I was feeling." He explained smiling.

"Really?"

"Yes. We're still best friends she doesn't blame me." He was still smiling as he looked at me seriously and added,

"Will you be my boyfriend?" I nodded as I placed a kiss on his lips. We had dated for a few months making it my longest relationship but I still had one more secret that seemed to get in the way. Every night that Troy and I would go out it would result in a fight because guys were flirting with me and I, out of habit, would flirt back. One day Troy got so fed up he called us quits. Every day since then I've thought about him and that was five years ago.

I still go to the club almost every night but I strangely don't see him. One night I looked across the dance floor at a table that had four men sitting at it, one of them being the man who had stolen my heart and hasn't given it back. I watched him until I heard my favorite song come on over the speakers. I walked up to him and holding out my hand asked,

"Can I have this dance?" he nodded as he silently took my hand and walked onto the floor with me. I put my arms around him as if he had never left.

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

"It's been a long time since I've seen you." I said wanting to hear his angelic voice again.

"Too long." He agreed after a moment then added,

"I've thought about you every day since I left." I smiled and said,

"So have I. I've missed you." We continued to dance even after the song ended.

"Me too. I've missed you so much." I kept smiling as I leaned down and kissed him with all the passion that I had been holding in for five years.

"I love you." I whispered as I pulled away. I shed a tear I didn't know I had left when he whispered back,

"I love you, too." I vowed to never flirt with other men and prove every day that I love Troy as long as he stayed with me. He vowed to trust me and we both vowed to love each other till the end of time. Vows we kept and still keep to this day.