My Lenore

By Damaged Demonic Angel

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Author's Note: Yes, you're probably wondering how a fanfic can be both comedy and angst, right? Come on…you know you are! STOP DENYING IT!!! Okay, anyway, it can be that way because it comes from two points of view! Mr. Gosh getting constantly beaten and rejected is the angsty part…and how badly he's about to get his hopes up. The funny part is the way he just gushes over Lenore in this thing (My angel! My love! Ooh!!!). Well, I find it funny…you might not. Oh well, whatever, here we go.

Disclaimer: These things annoy me so goddamn much! Do I frikkin sound like Roman Dirge? At any point here, do I say I am Roman Dirge, and that these characters come from my brilliant brain?! JEEZ! You can't blame me for stealing his stuff if I never say it's mine! Sheesh! Leave me alone!!

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Mr. Gosh's POV

          I open my eyes slowly to find that I am surrounded by dirt on all sides. Ah, everything that has happened until this point is a passing, unimportant blur. It is time again…time for me to visit my Lenore, and attempt to win her love once again.

          The effort of pushing my arm up through the now dry soil is tiring, but I finally break through. There is a clap of thunder and a flash of lighting overhead, but this is no time to look up and admire the wonders of nature. I have work to do.

          I hoist my bottom half out of the dirt and look up at the tombstone with my name engraved on it. This area has become…sort of a home to me. I cannot count the times I have awakened here, and hastily returned to the un-desiring arms of my angel!

I look around. Finally, I take some fresh dead roses that someone has so carelessly left at another grave. The perfect gift for my Lenore!

          Her house is visible from where I stand! I try to walk, but my legs aren't strong enough yet. I've been lying on my back for far too long. Instead, I crawl the distance on my stomach, balancing my precious gift to Lenore on my back.

          I arrive at her house in just a few minutes. I straighten myself, able to stand, and make my way over to her large first floor window. I peer through it, but I cannot see her. Perhaps she is upstairs.

          The front door is unlocked. I hold my right hand, the one the one grasping the flowers, outward, and push the door open with the other.

          "Lenore!" I shout. "I have returned—"

          But she is already there. It is almost like she has been waiting for me this entire time. Oh yes, does this mean what I think it means?

          "Mr. Gosh!" she cries, throwing her arms around me. She releases me and takes the flowers I have so graciously offered, and inhales deeply. Ah, the look on her face…

          She sets them down on a table and turns back to me, her face glowing with adoration. How long I have waited for this moment!

          "I love you, Lenore!"

          "I love you too, Mr. Gosh!"

          After all these years the words seem almost unbelievable! Yet here I am now, as she leans in closer, and closer, and closer still…

          And then…and then…

          I wake up.

          And yet, I find I have sleepwalked right to Lenore's house! I am standing upright; flowers in my right hand, and…I am pressing the doorbell!

          I hastily remove my hand. How long has it been ringing? Have I brought any annoyance to my dear Lenore?

          The door opens, but it seems no one is there. Or at least…no one that I can see eye-to-eye with. Curious, I look down.

          "What do you want?"

          It is a strange-looking doll, I suppose. It's sort of black, white, gray, and striped. I know I've seen it somewhere before—maybe for just a brief moment. Oh yes, of course! If I remember correctly, this thing is called Ragamuffin!

          "Oh…well, um, Ragamuffin?" I say, stalling. "I was hoping I might speak with Lenore?"

          "Who's at the door, Ragamuffin?"

          That sweet voice! I would recognize it from more than a mile away! It could only be the lovely voice of my angel!

          Ah yes, there she is! I can see the look on her face…so familiar…

          I thrust the flowers into her arms. "Lenore! I am here to win your love! And then…and then, my dear, we can—"

          The door is slammed in my face, but I don't mind. Of course, she is only running to get some water for the flowers I have given her. I go to the window to watch. It is open! I could—

          "AAAGH!!!"

          I scream in excruciating pain as a flaming bouquet flies out of the window and into my face. I close my eyes. Stop drop and roll!

          But when I open my eyes again and try to move, a large chunk of dirt falls onto my head! I am buried again. How unfortunate. Lenore is the only one who could have done it. But it must have been a mistake! Yes, I can see how it all happened perfectly.

          She opened the window for a little fresh air, and then went to get some water for the flowers. She left them on a table near the fireplace. While she was gone, a gust of wind threw them into the fire, and they burst into flame! And when Lenore returned, she panicked, picked the burning roses up with fire tongs, and threw them out the window that I was so conveniently standing outside of.

          But that isn't all! When she came outside to put out the fire in front of her house, she found me and thought me dead. So, of course, she buried me. How considerate of her.

          Good. Now that I have that figured out, there is no reason not to pursue her still! And one day, I'll have her! My darling! My angel!

          My Lenore.